Giraffes are goofy-looking animals, right? Those spindly legs and long, outstretched necks just lend them to a world of teasing. Luckily for us, giraffes don’t know we’re joking at their expense. But in addition to having one of the strangest aesthetics in the animal kingdom, they’re also pretty interesting. For one, did you know that they are the tallest mammals on Earth? Or that a newborn giraffe is usually six feet tall? How about that they have three hearts? Insane. We know. So if you weren’t interested in this long-necked creature before, aren’t you the least bit curious now?
And there are definitely plenty of jokes about giraffes. You won’t even have to crane your neck around the internet to find them because (surprise, surprise) they’re right here. If giraffes are yours or your kiddo’s favorite animal, you’re going to love these super silly jokes and puns about their favorite friend.
And if you don’t love, love, love giraffes? That’s okay, too! We already know our kids will laugh at literally anything. Take a spin through these giraffe funnies and then check out Scary Mommy’s joke collection on other things your kids are probably super obsessed with. Pokémon, maybe? Or unicorns? There are even tons and tons of pig and cow jokes. Who would have known, right?
- Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because their feet smell!
- What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?
A “plane in the neck.”
- What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedgehog?
A twelve-foot toothbrush
- Why didn’t they invite the giraffe to the party?
He was a pain in the neck!
- What do you get when two giraffes collide?
A giraffic jam.
- Did you hear about the Giraffe and Ostrich race?
It was neck and neck.
- Why don’t giraffes like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
- What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a pig?
Bacon and legs.
- What did Dracula say then he saw a giraffe for the first time?
I’d like to get to gnaw you.
- Some Giraffes can grow up to 18 feet.
But most only have 4
- Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
- What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a lawyer?
Long-arm of the Law
- What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?
- Why do giraffes make bad bosses?
Because they can’t see eye-to-eye with their employees
- What do you call an animal that turns into a boat?
- What’s the silliest name you can give a giraffe?
- What’s green and hangs from trees?
- Why did the giraffe sign up for monk training?
He felt a higher calling.
- What do you call a royal giraffe?
- Where do you put Giraffes that don’t feel good?
- Why don’t giraffes make good pets?
They’re too high maintenance.
- What do giraffes have that no one else has?
- Why did the giraffe get bad grades?
He had his head in the clouds.
- What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit? Necktarines
- When does a giraffe have 8 legs?
When there are two of them!
- What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with athlete’s foot.
- What do you call a mural of a giraffe in the street?
- Why are giraffes tongues so long?
So they can clean their ears.
- Why did the giraffe leave her boyfriend?
He was a Cheetah!
- Why don’t giraffes like to go to the playground?
Because the monkeys use them for slides.
- How do you write a report on a giraffe?
First, you get a really tall ladder …
- Why was the giraffe late?
Because he got caught in a giraffic jam!
- What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?
- Why don’t most restaurants serve giraffes?
It’s a tall order.
- The worst part about being a giraffe
is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you’re sinking into quicksand.
- Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
It’s a long one.
- Why do giraffes sing in the rain?
Because they don’t fit in the shower.
- I bet giraffes don’t even know what farts smell like.
- What’s green and hangs from tall trees?
- Why did none of the giraffe’s friends ever laugh when she told a joke?
It always went over their heads.
- Why was the giraffe so well respected at the zoo?
Because everybody looked up to him.
- Knock knock.
Giraffe anything to eat? I’m starving!
- A boy walks into a party with his pet giraffe. He gets himself and his giraffe juice boxes, but after finishing his drink the giraffe drops dead on the floor.
The boy gets up to leave but a girl says to him, “Hey! You can’t leave that lying there!”
The boy turns to her and says, “That’s not a lion, that’s a giraffe!”
- I respect giraffe’s…
They’re an animal I can look up to.
- A giraffe walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says “you want a longneck?”
The giraffe says “you mean I have a choice?”
- Did you know Ronnie Pickering invented the giraffe?
He got into an argument with a horse and uppercutted it
- A giraffe walks into a bar and says…
The highballs are on me.
- Why is it cheap to feed a giraffe?
A little goes a long way
- Did you hear about the guy who made giraffe and elephant jam?
He called it Wildlife Preserve.
- Did you know that a giraffes neck is strong enough to support the weight of a human climbing on it?
Anyway, I got banned from my local zoo today
- I read about a heartwarming story of several doctors performing overnight surgery on a giraffe’s knee.
I guess it was a joint operation.
- Giraffes are hardworking and make amazing employees. The only problem is their neckties cost $5000.
- The worst thing about being a giraffe is that your coffee gets cold by the time it reaches your belly.
- The worst thing about being a giraffe is needing 100 Heimlich maneuvers when you are choking.
- The worst part about being a giraffe is knowing that once you put on a necklace it is there for life!
- A lion and a giraffe are meeting at the zoo
Lion: “You are late! We said to meet at sunset!”
Giraffe: “I can still see the sun you.”
- You are riding a Giraffe at full speed, there is a lion right behind you and a horse in front of you, what do you do?
Get off the merry-go-round.