50+ Kid-Friendly Cheese Jokes And Puns Too Gouda To Pass Up

by Patricia Grisafi
Originally Published: 
cheese jokes and puns
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My toddler is a picky eater. One of the only foods he’ll consistently eat? Cheese. One of his first words? Cheese. Cheese has always been one of the most important foods in my life, but now it’s something I thank on a daily basis for being reliable, delicious, and filled with fat so my child doesn’t wither away. But aside from that, don’t we all love cheese? Isn’t it one of life’s great joys? Pair cheese with chocolate! Pair it with wine! Pair it with other cheese! And pair it with cheese jokes. Here are some of our favorite clean, kid-friendly cheese jokes and puns to share with the cheese lover in your life and the picky eater who thrives on cheddar and Baby Bels.

Cheese jokes are as old as time. Did you know cheese existed before written language? And just like laughing is considered a life booster, Roquefort blue cheese can also help people live longer. It’s supports cardiovascular health. Like Wisconsin, we understand the importance of cheese. This dairy state used to have a law that required restaurants to serve cheese with each meal. And unlike the rest of this page, that isn’t a joke. For some real funnies, check out our cheesy jokes below.

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1. What do you call a dinosaur made of cheese?


2. What is a cheese’s favorite music?

R’n brie.

3. What did one cheese yell at the other?

Leave provolone.

4. Why did the cheese smile?

It’s gouda brie a good day.

5. Why were mozzarella and feta holding hands?

They look gouda together.

6. What did the frustrated cheese say?

I’m feta up.

7. Why did the cheese cross the road?

To feta to the other side.

8. When shouldn’t you believe a word your cheese is saying?

When it’s too gouda be true.

9. What did I do with my cheese handkerchief?

I blue my nose.

10. Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?

It had grater plans.

11. What did the manager yell to the cheese thief?

That’s nacho cheese.

12. What’s the smartest cheese?

Cheese whiz.

13. Why did cheddar think the cottage cheese went bad?

It curdled.

14. What did the police say to the cheese thief?

You’ve been up to no gouda.

15. How do you get a mouse to smile?

Say cheese.

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16. What did cheddar say to Gouda?

I need to asiago you a question.

17. What would you get if you mixed a dinosaur with cheese?


18. Where does cheese stay when it’s on vacation?

At the Stilton.

19. Why was the cheese sent to his room?

He needed to mature.

20. Why did the cheese cry?

It was having a meltdown.

21. Why is it hard to hang out with a cracker?

He always cuts the cheese.

22. What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Looking gouda.

23. What do cheeses dance to on Halloween?

The muenster mash.

24. What did the piece of cheddar say to the ghost?

I’m lac-ghost intolerant.

25. What did cheddar say to his date at the dance?

You look sharp.

26. What did the cheese say when he quoted Shakespeare?

To brie or not to brie, that is the question.

27. When do they smother a burrito in cheese?

In best queso scenario.

28. What is a basketball player’s favorite kind of cheese?

Swish cheese.

29. What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that’s all up in your face?

Too close for comfort food.

30. What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese?

Muenster cheese.

31. What did the detective cheese say to the suspect cheese?

I smell something swiss-picious.

32. A tornado destroyed a French cheese factory.

All that was left was de brie.

33. I was walking down the street the other day when this kid threw some cheese at me.

I thought, “That’s not very mature.”

34. What cheese do you use to coax a bear from a tree?


35. I’ve got an addition to cheddar cheese…

But it’s only mild though.

36. Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?


37. My wife was preparing lunch today when she asked, “Honey, where’s the cheese grater?”

I replied, “Some would say France, others would say England. It depends on your personal preference.”

38. The other day, this guy threatened to throw dough, cheese, and tomatoes at me.

I said, “You wanna pizza me?”

39. Why did the Greek woman stop eating cheese?

Because she was getting feta and feta.

40. What do you call a cheese with curly hair?


41. Which is the most religious cheese?

Swiss, because it is holy.

42. Did you hear about the cheese who failed at the Olympics?

It fell at the final curdle.

43. Why did the dairy farmer go on a diet?

She wanted to cheddar a few pounds!

44. What kind of cheese do rodents like?


45. Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.

46. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded?

De-brie went everywhere!

47. What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?

Blue cheese!

48. What cheese should you be used to hide a horse?


49. What group of cheese has been known to fly?

Curds of prey!

50. What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesy credit card?

Go on a shopping brie.

51. What’s the most popular American cheese sitcom?

Curd Your Enthusiasm.

52. Why did the wheel act so bossy?

Cause he was the “Big Cheese.”

53. What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?


54. What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse?

I’m Brieeee.

55. What is Tom Hanks’ favorite soft cheese?


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