30+ Funny Chocolate Jokes, Puns, And One-Liners That Are Rich And Sweet

Literally Just 30+ Delicious Chocolate Jokes That Are Rich And Sweet

February 13, 2020 Updated June 11, 2020

eniko-kis-q4oWpj-J0uk-unsplash (1)
Photo by eniko kis on Unsplash

Ah, chocolate: one of life’s simple pleasures. Whether you like it dark, milk, or white, there is something so satisfying and decadent about enjoying some chocolate. But aside from being delicious, chocolate can also be funny. Well, jokes about chocolate can be funny…or at least mildly amusing. So we’ve rounded up 31 of the best chocolate jokes, puns, useless facts, and one-liners you’ll want to savor again and again. They’re so sweet, even bees would eat them up.Best part is they’re all kid-friendly funnies.

  1. What kind of candy is never on time?
    ChocoLATE
  2. What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?
    Chocolate Chip Wookiee.
  3. What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend?
    A Payday
  4. Why did the donut visit the dentist?
    He needed a chocolate filling
  5. I heard a joke about chocolate bars and it wasn’t that funny. So I just snickered…
  6. What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate?
    Decad-ant
  7. What is a French cat’s favorite dessert?
    Chocolate mousse
  8. Which chocolate is in the Baseball Hall of Fame?
    Babe Ruth.
  9. What do you call stolen cocoa?
    Hot chocolate
  10. What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate?
    A candy baaa
  11. What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?
    A Kitty Kat bar
  12. If Bob has 30 chocolate bars, and eats 25, what does he have?
    Diabetes
  13. What is an astronaut’s favorite chocolate?
    A Mars bar
  14.  What is a monkey’s favorite cookie?
    Chocolate chimp
  15. What’s the best part of Valentine’s Day? 
    The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.

    chocolate jokes
    Giphy
  16. What fruit loves chocolate?
    A cocoa-nut.
  17. There are two types of people in this world:
    People who love chocolate and liars.
  18. What is the opposite of Chocolate?
    Chocoearly.
  19. What Christmas carol do candy bars sing?
    Almond Joy To The World.
  20.  Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
    Because it lost its filling!
  21. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty?
    They had a Baby, Ruth.
  22. Knock Knock!
    Who’s there?
    Candy boy
    Candy boy who?
    Candy boy have another piece of chocolate?
  23. What did the M&M go to college?
    Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
  24. What does it do before it rains candy?
    It sprinkles!
  25. Once there were two chocolate bunnies and one had his ear bitten off. One said “Happy Easter!” What did the other one say?
    Huh?
  26. Opened a Mars bar once.
    Discovered martians love gin.
  27.  Life is like a box of chocolates…
    mostly disappointing.
  28. A 7-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, “Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you.” The boy looks over and responds, “My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five”. The man replies, “And he ate that much chocolate?”
    “No” says the boy, “But he minded his own business.”
  29. What do you call a cow with a stutter that makes chocolate milk?
    Cacao
  30. Why did the chocolate bar go to the dentist?
    He had a chip in his tooth.
  31. Why is a Toblerone triangular?
    So it fits in the box.

Related: 100+ Scrumptious Food Puns That’ll Have You Working Up An Appetite