Literally Just 45+ Delicious Chocolate Jokes And Puns That Are Rich And Sweet

by Team Scary Mommy
Originally Published: 
pieces of chocolate
Photo by eniko kis on Unsplash

Ah, chocolate: one of life’s simple pleasures. Whether you like it dark, milk, or white, there is something so satisfying and decadent about enjoying some chocolate. But aside from being delicious, chocolate can also be funny. Well, jokes about chocolate can be funny… or at least mildly amusing. So we’ve rounded up 30+ of the best chocolate jokes, puns, useless facts, and one-liners you’ll want to savor again and again. They’re so sweet, even bees would eat them up. Best part is they’re all kid-friendly funnies.

Not only can you turn chocolate into punny jokes, but it takes on so many other delicious forms, like cake, hot chocolate, wax, hot fudge, and more. This sweet snack is pretty hard to do without, so whether you’re gearing up for Valentine’s Day or looking for a funny note to slip in a gift box of Godiva, these jokes won’t miss. And not to be dramatic, but treasure your cocoa. One chocolate bar takes about two to four days to make and about four to five years for cacao trees to produce their first beans. So, start here for some sweetness!

RELATED: 100+ Scrumptious Food Puns That’ll Have You Working Up An Appetite

Chocolate Jokes

  1. What kind of candy is never on time?


  1. What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?

Chocolate Chip Wookiee.

  1. What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend?

A PayDay.

  1. Why did the donut visit the dentist?

He needed a chocolate filling.

  1. I heard a joke about chocolate bars, and it wasn’t that funny. So I just snickered.
  2. What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate?


  1. What is a French cat’s favorite dessert?

Chocolate mousse.

  1. Which chocolate is in the Baseball Hall of Fame?

Babe Ruth.

  1. What do you call stolen cocoa?

Hot chocolate.

  1. What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate?

A candy baaa.

  1. What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?

A Kitty Kat bar.

  1. If Bob has 30 chocolate bars and eats 25, what does he have?


  1. What is an astronaut’s favorite chocolate?

A Mars bar.

  1. What is a monkey’s favorite cookie?

Chocolate chimp.

  1. What’s the best part of Valentine’s Day?

The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.


  1. What fruit loves chocolate?

A cocoa-nut.

  1. There are two types of people in this world:

People who love chocolate and liars.

  1. What is the opposite of Chocolate?


  1. What Christmas carol do candy bars sing?

Almond Joy To The World.

  1. Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?

Because it lost its filling!

  1. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty?

They had a Babe Ruth.

  1. Knock, knock!

Who’s there? Candy boy. Candy boy who? Candy boy have another piece of chocolate?

  1. What did the M&M go to college?

Because he wanted to be a Smarty.

  1. What does it do before it rains candy?

It sprinkles!

  1. Once there were two chocolate bunnies and one had his ear bitten off.

One said “Happy Easter!” What did the other one say? “Huh?”

  1. I opened a Mars bar once.

I discovered martians love gin.

  1. Life is like a box of chocolates…

Mostly disappointing.

  1. A seven-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, “Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.”

The boy looks over and responds, “My great grandfather lived to be 105.” The man replies, “And he ate that much chocolate?” “No,” says the boy. “But he minded his own business.”

  1. What do you call a cow with a stutter that makes chocolate milk?


  1. Why did the chocolate bar go to the dentist?

He had a chip in his tooth.

  1. Why is a Toblerone triangular?

So it fits in the box.

Chocolate Puns

Do you know what’s sweeter than a joke about chocolate? A chocolate pun! These phrases are short, sweet, and can be used in whatever comedic form you like. Check out our cocoa-filled puns below.

  1. Choc it up to experience.
  2. Double choc everything.
  3. Here you bar.
  4. This will definitely come in candy.
  5. I’m chocolate to my appointment!
  6. For their summer holiday, the chocolate couple rented a two-bedroom sweet.
  7. That was really dairy of you to throw a chocolate bar at me in the street.
  8. You can only drink hot chocolate all year long if you are cocoa-nuts.
  9. For their dessert, most French cats like the chocolate mousse.
  10. The monkey that comes over at our place loves chocolate chimp.
  11. The electrician’s favorite ice cream flavor is shock-a-lot.
  12. Talking is frowned at in the local chocolate factory, so I only wispa when I get there.
  13. These days, shoes are called snickers.
  14. Don’t fight with me over chocolate because I am not someone to be truffled with!
  15. Chocolate coins are mint to be eaten.
  16. I always have a couple of Twix up my sleeves

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