Maybe you’re sitting around with your pals. Or perhaps you’re at work and want something clever to say around the water cooler. At some point, we all need a few reliable one-liners to break the ice and get the laughter flowing. And while you can turn pretty much anything into a punchline, there’s something espe-shell-y satisfying about crab puns and crab jokes. First of all, crabs are cute (not to mention yummy, if you’re into that sort of thing). But also, this type of humor is simply a ton of fun. You might just say that — when you’re in a pinch — crab puns always come through for you.
Besides, crabs are super-cool creatures. Did you know that a group of crabs is called a cast? Or that scientists say they date all the way back to the Jurassic Period, 200 million years ago?! These incredible crustaceans live in more different places than any other sea animal, making their homes in everything from smoking volcanic vents to Antarctic ice. Another interesting fact? Although many crab species have shorter lifespans, it’s speculated that the Japanese spider crab can live to be upwards of 100 years old. These arthropods even make cute crab coloring pages.
So, what are we waiting for? Let’s get cracking with a hilarious shellection of truly clawsome crab puns and jokes. And if you crave even more ocean animal humor, check out our shark jokes, whale jokes, and fish jokes.
Best Crab Puns and Crab Jokes
- What do you call the greatest crab artist that ever lived?
Leonardo da Pinci.
- What is a crab’s favorite fruit?
The crab apple, of course!
- What’s it called when a crab walks to its part-time job?
A side hustle.
- How do you know when a crab has had too much fizzy drink?
It starts to walk in a straight line.
- Why did the crab keep all the seaweed to itself?
Because it was shellfish!
- How did the limpet cross the river?
She took a taxi crab.
- Customer, holding a crab under his arm: “Waiter, waiter, do you make crab cakes?”
Waiter: “Yes, we sure do.” Customer: “Good, because it’s his birthday.”
- Why was the crustacean so unhappy?
His mom was being really crabby.
- Did you hear about the crab that went to the gym?
He pulled a mussel.
- Why did the crab blush?
It saw the ocean’s bottom.
- How much salt do hermit crabs like on their food?
Just a pinch!
- What do you call a crab in self-isolation?
A hermit crab.
- What does a hermit crab call its home?
- Where do crabs sleep?
On the sea bed.
- What did the prawn say to the crab steering the ship?
“Ay, ay, Crabtain!”
- What do you call a crab that throws things?
- What do you call a pit stop that sells crabs and pizza?
A crust station.
- Why did the crab cross the road?
To get to the other tide.
- Who brings Christmas presents to young crabs?
- What did one hipster crab playing on its shellphone say to the other?
“Help me think of an Instagram crabtion!”
- Where do crabs and lobsters catch their trains?
- How does a crab feel when it eats too much?
- Where do crabs save all of their money?
In a sand bank.
- What would a crab do with an iPhone?
Take lots of shellfies!
- How do crabs get around on land?
They use the sidewalk.
- What kind of protective headgear does a hermit crab wear?
- What party game do crabs like to play?
- How does a crab answer the phone?
- What do crabs do on their birthday?
- Why did the musical crab move to New York City?
It wanted to star in the crabaret.
- What do crabs order when they go to a coffee shop?
A cup of crab-uccino.
- How do crabs call their friends?
On a shell phone.
- What do you call a crab that’s afraid of small spaces?
- Where do crabs go to borrow money?
A prawn broker.
- Why don’t crabs like basketball?
They’re afraid of the net!
- What do crabs need to stay healthy?
- What’s a crab’s favorite part about pizza?
That crust taste, son!
- Did you hear the crab president’s speech?
It was really crabtivating.
- Which chemical element accounts for the largest part in the body of crabs?
- Why do crabs do poorly in school?
They have a limited vocrabulary.
- What did the cannibal crab have for its birthday?
- How did the crabs respond when the chef told them they were being served for dinner?
They were really steamed.
- What do you call a crab that’s green and sings but likes to stay home?
A Kermit crab.
- Where do crabs go when they need to catch public transport?
- What does the crab president call his trusted advisors?
- What did the crab police officer say when it pulled over a speeding shrimp?
“You have to abide by the claw.”
- Why did the crab decide to follow the Keto diet?
Crabohydrates made it bloat.
- What did one fish say to the other when they saw the chef crab a crab?
“Oh, buddy — he’s in hot water now.”
- What do you call a frugal crab?
A penny pincher.
- What’s a crab’s favorite song?
“Don’t Worry; Be Crabby.”
- Why did the crab get fired? Because he was not moving the company forward.
- Why did the ocean roar? Wouldn’t you if there were crabs underneath you?
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