25+ Insanely Filthy Disney Jokes That Will Ruin Your Childhood Instantly

by Team Scary Mommy
Originally Published: 
disney dirty jokes

Think the world of Disney can’t be a little naughty? Think again. The truth is, even you know even a little bit of Disney trivia there’s a number of Disney adult jokes that are not only goofy and dopey, but also dirty (which isn’t a name of a Disney character but definitely could and should be). So we rounded up the créme de la créme of filthy, ridiculous, and oh-so-dirty Disney adult jokes that will most definitely ruin your childhood and should be kept away from kids.

RELATED: 55+ Dark Jokes If You Have A Sick-Yet-Silly Mind

  1. Why was Tigger in the bathroom for so long?

Because he had Pooh stuck inside him.

  1. Why does Ariel wear sea shells?

Because the B shells are too small.

  1. Why did the seven dwarves go to jail?

They sold all their gems for hi-hoes!

  1. Why can’t Miss Piggy count to one hundred?

Because every time she gets to sixty nine she gets a frog in her throat.

  1. What are the best selling Disney sex toys?

Woody and Buzz.

  1. What did Genie say to Aladdin?

Rub me three times and I will come.

  1. Wanna know something about Pinocchio?

His nose ain’t the only piece of wood that grows.


  1. Why doesn’t Thumper make noise during sex?

Because he has cotton balls.

  1. What do Viagra and Disney Land have in common?

They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two minute ride.

  1. What did Cinderella say to her prince?

“Want to see if it fits?”

  1. Why was Anger so furious?

Because Sadness touched one of his balls.

  1. Why doesn’t Eeyore have any friends?

Because he plays with Pooh all day.

  1. How did Mickey feel when he first saw Minnie?

It was glove at first sight.

  1. What did Nala say to Simba?

Hakuna these tatas.

  1. Why was Tigger in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.Related: These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of

  1. What happened after Snow White sat in the bath, feeling happy?

Happy got out, so she felt Grumpy.

  1. Why do Chip N Dale sit on their butts all day?

To keep their nuts dry.

  1. Who is Cogsworth’s best friend?

His favorite candlestick.

  1. Why did Belle get kicked out of Disney World?

She sat on Pinnochio’s face and screamed, “Lie to me! Lie to me!”

  1. What did Nala say to Simba in bed?

Move fasta (Mufasa)


  1. What do the 101 Dalmatians say after sex?

That hit the spot.

  1. What did Winnie the Pooh say to his new love interest?

Show me the honey.

  1. What is Mickey’s favorite treat?

Minnie Mice cream.

  1. What do you call a nanny that doesn’t flush?

Mary Poopins the toilet.

  1. What are Muppets puppeteers really good at?

Hand jobs.

  1. Did you hear how Captain Hook died?

Jock Itch!

  1. Why do the seven dwarfs laugh when they play soccer?

The grass tickles their balls.


  1. What’s slimy, cold, long, and smells like pork?

Kermit the Frog‘s finger.

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