Think the world of Disney can’t be a little naughty? Think again. The truth is, even you know even a little bit of Disney trivia there’s a number of Disney adult jokes that are not only goofy and dopey, but also dirty (which isn’t a name of a Disney character but definitely could and should be). So we rounded up the créme de la créme of filthy, ridiculous, and oh-so-dirty Disney adult jokes that will most definitely ruin your childhood and should be kept away from kids.
- Why was Tigger in the bathroom for so long?
Because he had Pooh stuck inside him.
- Why does Ariel wear sea shells?
Because the B shells are too small.
- Why did the seven dwarves go to jail?
They sold all their gems for hi-hoes!
- Why can’t Miss Piggy count to one hundred?
Because every time she gets to sixty nine she gets a frog in her throat.
- What are the best selling Disney sex toys?
Woody and Buzz.
- What did Genie say to Aladdin?
Rub me three times and I will come.
- Wanna know something about Pinocchio?
His nose ain’t the only piece of wood that grows.
- Why doesn’t Thumper make noise during sex?
Because he has cotton balls.
- What do Viagra and Disney Land have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two minute ride.
- What did Cinderella say to her prince?
“Want to see if it fits?”
- Why was Anger so furious?
Because Sadness touched one of his balls.
- Why doesn’t Eeyore have any friends?
Because he plays with Pooh all day.
- How did Mickey feel when he first saw Minnie?
It was glove at first sight.
- What did Nala say to Simba?
Hakuna these tatas.
- Why was Tigger in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh.Related: These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of
- What happened after Snow White sat in the bath, feeling happy?
Happy got out, so she felt Grumpy.
- Why do Chip N Dale sit on their butts all day?
To keep their nuts dry.
- Who is Cogsworth’s best friend?
His favorite candlestick.
- Why did Belle get kicked out of Disney World?
She sat on Pinnochio’s face and screamed, “Lie to me! Lie to me!”
- What did Nala say to Simba in bed?
Move fasta (Mufasa)
- What do the 101 Dalmatians say after sex?
That hit the spot.
- What did Winnie the Pooh say to his new love interest?
Show me the honey.
- What is Mickey’s favorite treat?
Minnie Mice cream.
- What do you call a nanny that doesn’t flush?
Mary Poopins the toilet.
- What are Muppets puppeteers really good at?
- Did you hear how Captain Hook died?
- Why do the seven dwarfs laugh when they play soccer?
The grass tickles their balls.
- What’s slimy, cold, long, and smells like pork?
Kermit the Frog‘s finger.
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