Parenting

35+ Mechanic Jokes To Read When Your Humor Needs A Tune-Up

by Team Scary Mommy
Updated: 
Originally Published: 
mechanic jokes
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Certain occupations lend themselves to jokes and puns more than others. For example, while there may not be many laugh-out-loud jokes about social workers or someone who does data entry, there are plenty out there about other occupations (lawyers and doctors are the subjects of more than their fair share of fodder!). If you’re a gearhead, though, it’s mechanic jokes that will really rev up your laughter. With all of the vehicular terminology, services, and car parts — think: lube, pistons, tune-ups — there is no shortage of ways to find humor in the auto expert world.

Here are 35+ mechanic jokes and puns sure to fuel your laughter and have you giggling all the way to the garage. And when you’re finished with these, floor it on over to our page on car jokes.

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Best Mechanic Jokes and Puns

  1. I asked a mechanic for a book on how to fix automatic gearboxes…

But he only has manuals.

  1. I think the mechanic in my local garage has amnesia.

I took my car for a new light bulb, and the mechanic asked me what year it was.

  1. Popped into the local garage, and the mechanic was drinking a cup of tea.

I think he was on a brake.

  1. Asked the mechanic why my car engine was humming.

She said it was probably because it didn’t know the words.

  1. A person walks into an auto shop and says, “I’d like a gas cap for my KIA.”

The car mechanic thinks for a few moments says, “OK, that seems like a fair trade.”

  1. I would tell a joke about quantum mechanics…

But if you saw it, it wouldn’t be as good.

  1. What fish makes the best mechanic?

TunerFish!

  1. I like the uniform mechanics wear…

Overall.

  1. I once taught a mechanic who didn’t know what tools to use at the appropriate time.

I would say, “You know the drill!”

  1. Did you hear about the mechanic that got addicted to drinking brake fluid?

They said they could stop any time they want to.

  1. I saw a mechanic fixing the tailpipe of a car…

It looked exhausting.

  1. What do you call a mechanic who does nothing but sit by the sofa?

An ottoman.

  1. What food did the mechanic bring the Italian car to eat?

Car-patch-io.

  1. Did I ever tell you about the hardworking mechanic who had to push her car five miles on its hubcaps?

She was tireless.

  1. Never let a disorganized mechanic use your bathroom…

They have loose tools.

  1. I just finished a novel about aircraft mechanics.

It was mostly riveting.

  1. A mechanic is working late one night when a man walks into his shop.

Man: “Can you help me? I think I’m a moth.” Mechanic: “I’m a mechanic. You need a psychiatrist.” Man: “Yeah, I know.” Mechanic: “Well, why did you come here then?” Man: “Your light was on.”

  1. So, I talked with my mechanic today. We chatted a bit about work, and I asked him if he enjoyed being a mechanic.

He said, “Yeah, but at the end of the day I feel like I’ve been through an engine. I’m exhausted.”

  1. What is the most important event for a mechanic?

Their 10-gear anniversary.

  1. So a jumper cable goes into a bar…

And the bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

  1. What do you get if you cross a Chrysler and a Fiat?

A big car that doesn’t start.

  1. Mechanic: “When were your tires last rotated?”

Me: “On the way here, silly.”

  1. What do you call a mechanical knife?

Cutting-edge technology.

  1. What do you call a mechanical encyclopedia?

A facts machine.

  1. What do you call an Oscar winning film about mechanics?

Lord of the Springs.

  1. What do you call a man with a car on his head?

Jack.

  1. What’s a mechanic’s favorite flower?

A car-natian.

  1. What did the disgruntled customer say to the mechanic?

“You auto know better!”

  1. What did the mechanic do during his spare time?

Draw car-toons.

  1. Why was the student hesitant to pursue a career as an elevator mechanic?

They heard it had a lot of ups and downs.

  1. While driving home, I saw my mechanic on the side of the road, crying.

I don’t know what happened, but it was clear he had a breakdown.

  1. I’ve been looking into the differences between propeller mechanics and human anatomy lately, and I’ve gotta say…

I’m not a fan.

  1. Why did the Swiss man take his car to a mechanic?

It kept getting stuck in neutral.

  1. I had a dream I was a mechanic who fixed wrecked cars.

It was an auto body experience.

  1. Mechanic: “When were your tires last rotated?”

Me: “On the way here, silly.”

  1. How do you make a mechanical frog?

You can’t use bolts. You have to use rivets.

  1. Mechanics might disagree,

But eyedrops are technically blinker fluid.

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