Ready for a hooting good time? We pulled together a chunk of owl puns and jokes perfect to keep under your wings and share with others on a boring day. Whether you’re the owl-obsessed friend in your group or that title belongs to one of your kiddos, these owl jokes will be like a feather to the foot — guaranteed laughs. And for those of you who don’t like owls? We have unicorn jokes, alpaca jokes, and cow jokes, too. If you’re looking for something more seasonal, we have an awfully large chunk of fall-themed jokes, as well. There’s even some related directly to ghosts and pumpkins. In other words: If you need laughs and fun, you came to the right place. But, let’s start with the owl jokes. They’re sure to make your head spin around. (Once, anyway.)
Owl Jokes Part 1
1. Where do owls go to buy their young baby clothes?
To the owlet malls.
2. Why do owls never go courting in the rain?
Because it’s too wet to woo!
3. What do you call it when barn owls fight?
Clash of the Tytos!
4. What do you call an owl who’s been caught in the act?
A spotted owl.
5. What do you call an owl with a low voice?
6. What’s an owl’s favorite drink?
7. What type of books do owls like to read?
8. Where are owls that commit crimes sent as punishment?
9. The wife and I dressed as the iconic Peruvian owls for Halloween.
We were Inca hoots.
10. What’s the most common form of owl-on-owl attack?
Fly by hooting.
11. What do you call an owl that does boxing?
12. What’s an owl’s favorite rock group?
13. What is the most common Owl in the UK?
14. What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
15. My pet owl will soon turn 180.
He’s not old, he just has a bad neck.
Owl Jokes Part 2
16. What is an owl’s dream occupation?
17. What is a barn owl’s favorite subject at school?
18. Why don’t owls study for tests?
They prefer to wing it.
19. Knock, knock.
That’s right! Tawny Owls hooo!
20. What do you get when you cross an owl with an oyster?
Pearls of wisdom.
21. Why did the Owl invite his friends over?
He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
22. Why didn’t the night owl go to the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
23. Two owls were playing pool. One owl said “Two Hits.”
The other owl said “Two hits to who?”
24. What do you get if you cross an owl with a skunk?
A bird that smells, but doesn’t give a hoot.
25. What do you call a magical owl?
26. Knock, knock.
Owl be seeing you!
27. What sits in a tree and says, “Hoots mon, hoots mon?”
A Scottish owl.
28. How far can an owl turn its head?
Typical answer: 360 degrees!
Reply: Only once! (Owls can turn their heads 270 degrees in either direction, but not all the way around.)
29. Why do owl babies take after their dad?
Like feather, like son.
30. Two barn owls sitting on a perch and one says to the other:
“Can you smell fish?”
Owl Jokes Part 3
31. What does an owl need after having a bath?
32. My friend the Tawny Owl told me he had just got engaged.
I hooted “You twit – to who…?”
33. What’s an owl’s favorite Beatles song?
“Owl You Need Is Love.”
34. What does an owl with attitude have?
35. What happens if an owl doesn’t wash?
It smells fowl.
36. What does a well-educated owl say?
37. What do you call an owl with a sore throat?
A bird that doesn’t give a hoot!
38. What’s a barn owl’s favorite Party food?
Mush’Shrew’ms, ‘Vole’avaunts and Micecream!
39. Why did the owl join the dating website?
He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
40. What do you call an owl dressed in armor?
A knight owl.
41. What’s the difference between an owl and an Irish funeral?
One’s awake in the night, the other’s a wake in the day!
42. Why did the priest buy an owl?
Because it’s a bird of prey.
43. What is an owl’s favorite board game?
44. What do you call a magic owl?
45. Have you heard about the owl sanctuary job?
It’s all night shifts but they’re all a hoot.
46. Knock, knock.
Nope. Owl go who. Car go beep beep.
47. What do you call a baby owl swimming?
48. When does an owl go, “Moooooo!”
When it’s learning a new language.
49. What do you call an owl get-together?
50. What’s an owl’s favorite game?
51. What’s an owlette’s favorite book?
Horton Hears a Hoot.
52. Did you hear about the California owl conspiracy network?
They’re allegedly calling themselves the “ca-hoots.”
53. What does an owl call its beak?
54. Why did the cops bring in a large group of Peruvian owls for questioning?
They were Inca hoots.
55. Why do owls go to the gym?
Because they’re stare masters.
56. A man goes to the movies and what looks like an owl comes in and sits next to him.
The man’s a little surprised and asks, “Are you an owl?”
“Yes,” replies the owl.
The man asks, “What are you doing at the movies?”
The owl says, “Well, I liked the book.”
57. A devoutly religious cowboy loses his favorite book of scripture while out mending fences one day.
A few weeks later, an owl walks up to him carrying the scripture book in its mouth.
The cowboy can’t believe what’s happening. He takes his precious book from the owl’s mouth and raises his eyes to the heavens.
He says, “It’s a miracle!”
“Not really,” says the owl. “Your name is written inside the cover.”