'Princess Diaries' Quotes: 45+ Lines That'll Take You Back To Genovia

45+ Princess Diaries Quotes That’ll Make You Miss Mia Thermopolis

November 30, 2020 Updated March 23, 2021

princess-diaries-quotes
Buena Vista Pictures

The coming-of-age teen movie The Princess Diaries had everything you could hope for from the early ‘00s: an emo musician heartthrob, Heather Matarazzo wearing butterfly clips and chokers, and blonde Mandy Moore in one of her earliest singing-slash-acting roles. Throw in Anne Hathaway, Julie Andrews as a queen (always!), and a fictional country famous for pears and, well, it’ll forever remain among our favorites — which is why we couldn’t resist compiling some of the best Princess Diaries quotes from this fun-filled family film.

Sadly, none of us will ever be able to visit Genovia in real life, making this collection of memorable lines the next best thing. Consider them a “palate cleanser” between the daily slog of office work and, you know, everything else. And to ensure you find just as much happiness as Fat Louie when he’s sitting upon his royal pillow on the Genovian jet, we went ahead and included quotes from Princess Diaries 2 as well.

Princess Diaries Quotes

1. “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all. From now on you’ll be traveling the road between who you think you are and who you can be. The key is to allow yourself to make the journey.” — Prince Phillipe

2. Queen Clarisse: “Amelia, you look so… young.”
Mia: “Thank you. And you look so… clean.”

3. “As always, this is as good as it’s going to get.” — Mia

4. Michael: “Why me?”
Mia: “Because you saw me when I was invisible.”

5. Mia: (on her green bathing suit) “OK, I look like an asparagus.”
Helen: “But a very, very cute asparagus!”

6. Mia: “I can’t talk to you right now. I’m late for a meeting with my guidance counselor.”
Queen Clarisse: “I’m late for a meeting with Spain and Portugal!”

7. Paolo: (removes Mia’s glasses) “Do you wear contact lenses?”
Mia: “Oh, I have them, but I don’t really like to wear them that much.”
Paolo: (breaks glasses in half) “Now… you do!”
Mia: (shocked) “You broke my glasses!”
Paolo: “You broke my brush.”

8. “It’s not appropriate for royalty to jingle.” — Queen Clarisse

9. “Tell me: How does my mother, or any person for that matter, go into a parent/teacher conference and come out with a date?” — Mia

10. Mia: “I look like a moose.”
Paolo: “Ah, yes, but a very cute moose! Make all the boy moose go ‘WAAAAH!’”

11. “I don’t want to rule my own country, I just want to pass the tenth grade.” — Mia

12. Joe: “This is between a waltz and a tango.”
Mia: “It’s a wango?”

13. Mia: “Joe, can you drop us off a block from the school? I don’t want to cause a riot with this hearse.”
Joe: “This is a non-riot hearse. If it were a hearse, there would be silence in the backseat.”

14. Mia: “I can’t do this; I’m a girl!”
Gym Teacher Harbula: “What am I? A duck?”

15. “I can’t be a princess! I’m still waiting for normal body parts to arrive!” — Mia

16. “I have never worn pantyhose, but it sounds very dangerous.” — Joe

17. “Michael, can you just pretend you have a life for just one moment?” — Lilly

18. “You know, most kids shop for a car for their sixteenth birthday, not a country!” — Mia

19. Mia: “Now, what did you want to tell me?”
Queen Clarisse: “Something that, I think, will have a very big impact upon your life.”
Mia: “I already have braces.”
Queen Clarisse: “No, it’s bigger than orthodontia.”

20. “Somebody sat on me again.” — Mia

21. “Is your mom dating an undertaker?” — Lilly (after meeting Joe for the first time)

22. Helen: “That Backstreet Boy clone you’ve had a crush on for years?”
Mia: “He’s not a Backstreet Boy clone.”

23. “OK… you know what? I don’t feel protected. You try living for 15 years thinking that you’re one person, and then in five minutes, you find out you’re a princess. Just in case I wasn’t enough of a freak already, let’s add a tiara!” — Mia

24. Mia: “Shut up!”
Queen Clarisse: “I beg your pardon, ‘Shut up’?”
Consulate Maitre D’: “Oh, your majesty, in America, it doesn’t always mean to be quiet. Here it could mean ‘wow,’ ‘gee-whiz,’ ‘golly wolly.’”

25. “No longer does Mia stand for missing in action, Genovia has a new princess!” — Nelson Davenport

26. “Think about it: I just found out that my cable only reaches 12 people.” — Lilly

27. Lana Thomas: “Principal Gupta, did you see what she did to me?!”
Vice Principal Gupta: “Oh no, sweetie, I was in a very important meeting. Send it out for dry cleaning.”

28. “You’re morphing into one of them! Next week you’ll be waving pom-poms in my face!” — Lilly

29. “Mia, it’s not a championship game. It’s not even a big game. It’s just gym class. Just hit the ball. I don’t want to flunk you in gym class. C’mon, you can do it. Keep your eye on the ball.” — Gym Teacher Harbula

30. (Running to catch up with Mia and Michael)
Lilly: (screaming) “WAIT FOR ME, WAIT FOR ME! (two other teenagers stop and look at her) Wait, wait. No, not you — I don’t even know you!”

31. Gym Teacher Harbula: (PA announcement) “Will the Feng Shui Club please stop rearranging the tables on the lawn?”

From Princess Diaries 2

1. Nicholas: “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, with hair so fine. Come out your window, climb down the vine.”
Mia: “The feat you ask, dear sir, isn’t easy. And I won’t respond to that line, it’s far too cheesy.”

2. Queen Clarisse: “Dear Joseph, am I too late to ask you to accept my hand in marriage?”
Joe: “I never thought you’d ask.”

3. “A few moments ago, I realized the only reason I was getting married was because of a law, and that didn’t seem like a good enough reason. So, I won’t be getting married today. My grandmother has ruled without a man at her side for quite some time, and… I think she rocks at it.” — Mia

4. Viscount Mabrey: “Sir, you will find that the word fear is not in my vocabulary!”
Joe: “Perhaps, but it’s in your eyes.”

5. “We never rush; we hasten.” — Queen Clarisse

6. Nicholas: “Tell me your greatest desires.”
Mia: “Tell me a secret.”
Nicholas: “Isn’t that the same thing?”
Mia: “Almost, but anyone can see your desires. No one knows what’s in your heart.”

7. “A princess never chases a chicken.” — Queen Clarisse

8. “Just because I didn’t get my fairytale doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.” — Mia

9. “If you hurt my girl, you will answer directly to me, and whatever crimes I commit against you, remember, I have diplomatic immunity in 46 countries, including Puerto Rico.” — Joe

10. Security Guard Lionel: “Your Majesty, I would gladly take a bullet for you.”
Queen Clarisse: “Oh, how brave. Most interns don’t even want to fetch my tea.”

11. “A queen is never late. Everyone else is simply early.” — Queen Clarisse

12. “I would kneel if it weren’t for my knee replacement.” — Joe

13. “Nepotism belongs in the arts, not in plumbing.” — Queen Clarisse

14. “To be a princess, you have to believe that you are a princess. You’ve got to walk the way you think a princess would walk. So, you gotta think tall, you gotta smile and wave, and just have fun.” — Mia

15. “I’m a girl who loves black and is wearing pink.” — Lilly

16. “Viscount, you may not be aware of what my job entails as the Royal Head of Security. My job is to protect the crown. To make sure no harm comes to the crown. To step in when someone toys with the crown’s emotions.” — Joe

17. Nicholas: “I haven’t danced with you since your birthday.”
Mia: “That’s a fact, not a secret.”
Nicholas: “The secret is, I still want to.”

18. “There are 550 years of Renaldi’s on these walls, and I will be up there next to my father.” — Mia

19. “Andrew, could you try to talk without moving your lips? The press have binoculars.” — Mia

Once you’re done reminiscing in Genovia, head on over to our other quote pages based on more feel-good movies like CluelessMean Girls, everything Disney, and more!