Back in your days on the playground (as a kid, not a parent), you were probably the victim (and possibly the perpetrator) of some verbal pranks. These seemingly simple plays on words may not be the most intelligent jokes out there, but they’re classics for a reason.
Verbal pranks are special because you don’t need a rubber chicken or props to be trick someone. All it takes is the perfect arrangement of words and a willing participant. And when they realized what they’ve said they’ll cover their mouths in embarrassment. These kinds of jokes are as old as middle school but they’re still absolutely hilarious. Here are 65 verbal pranks that will make everyone giggle and groan.
- Have someone point to their head and say the abbreviation for “mountain.” (MT/empty)
- Ask someone to spell the word “pots.” Then ask them the following question: “What do you do at a green light?” (Go)
- Have someone say the word “roast” 10 times fast. Then ask them what you put in a toaster. (Bread)
- Ask someone “Whatcha eating under there”? (Under where/underwear)
- Say to someone, “I’m thinking of having updog for lunch.”
- “What’s up dawg?” And they’ll likely respond, “What’s up dawg?” (What’s up, dog?)
- Ask someone, “How do you get an elephant into a subway?” If they say they don’t know, say, “You take the ‘s’ out of “sub” and get the “f” out of the way.” At that point, they may respond, “There is no f”in way!”
- Say, “I have a knock-knock joke, but you have to start it.” So the other person will say, “Ok, knock knock.” Then you say, “Who’s there?…”
- Spell “ICUP.”
- Did you know that if you say “watermelon” really slowly, it sounds just like “gullible”?
- Ask a person which is correct: “The yolk of an egg IS white,” or “the yolk of an egg ARE white.” (The yolk of an egg is yellow.)
- Ask someone how to pronounce the capital of Kentucky. Ask if it is pronounced Loo-ee-ville or Loo-wiss-ville. If they are unaware or not thinking, the person may give either answer, but you then correct them, noting that the correct answer is Frankfort.
- Ask someone to say “toy boat” over and over really fast. (It’s basically impossible.)
- Have someone say the word “white” 10 times fast, then ask them what cows drink. (They’ll probably say milk, but it’s actually water.)
- If you say “raise up lights,” you just said “razor blades” in an Australian accent.
- Have someone say “my dixie wrecked” out loud.
- Ask people these questions in this order: “What’s 1+1? What’s 2+2? What’s 4+4? What’s 8+8?” Then ask them to name a vegetable. (They almost always say carrot.)
- “Jane’s mother has four children: May, June, July, and…” People will probably say August, which is wrong. (The answer is Jane.)
- Ask someone, “How can a man go eight days without sleep?” (He sleeps at night.)
- Announce that you made brownies, then present your friends with several letter “Es” made out of brown paper.
- Tell someone to say “sofa king awesome” 10 times fast.
- Pull a Bart Simpson, call a bar and ask for Humpalott. Ivana Humpalott.
- Have someone say this out loud: “Ice bank mice elf.”
- Pretend someone’s hand smells like onions. When they lift their hand up to smell it, boop it against their face.
- Mimic every word someone says, much like a toddler would, and see their reaction.
- Go to trivia night and pull out one of our epic trivia team names.
- Play broken telephone. Luckily, this is just as fun as an adult as it is for kids. All you need to do is line up the players in a line and whisper a sentence in one person’s ear, they then whisper what they think they heard to the person next to them, and so the chain goes until the last person discloses what they heard. It’s more often than not completely different than the original sentence.
- Have someone say “Ice Bank Mice Elf” over and over again.
- Have a friend say “eye” and then spell the word “cup.”
- Ask a friend to say “shop” ten times, then ask them, “What do you do when you come to a green light?” They’ll most likely say “Stop” but nope, green means go.
- Ask someone to hold their tongue and repeat, “I was born on a pirate ship.”
- Ask anyone to say “I eat mop who” ten times fast.
- Have someone spell “pig” backward and then say “pretty colors.”
- Name the color of the following things as fast as you can:
– snow – paper – clouds – chalk – wedding gown
- Tell a guy to say “my dixie wrecked” ten times fast.
- Ask a girl to say “Jyna I have a va” ten times fast?
- Say the following out loud: “I 1 2 ½ 6.”
- Tell someone to spell “i-HOP” and then say “ness.”
- Say “Alpha Kenny body” ten times slowly
- This is this cat.
This is is cat. This is how cat. This is to cat. This is keep cat. This is an cat. This is idiot cat. This is busy cat. This is for cat. This is forty cat. This is seconds cat. Now please go back to the top, read it again, but only the third word in each line.
- What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
“I’m 80!” (“Aye Matey”)
- What do you call it when you feed a stick of dynamite to a steer?
- Ask someone to say out loud: “I won a math debate.”
- What’s Erdogan’s favorite puzzle game?
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there? Smell mop! Smell mop who? (Say it out loud to get the joke.)
- What’s the plural of compass? This one’s best if you say it out loud.
- What vehicle do you pick up the most chicks in?
A tractor! (Maybe you’ll have to say it out loud.)
- Ask someone, “What’s the second to last letter in the alphabet?”
Each time they say “Y,” tell them it’s because you want to know!
- Say “beer can” out loud in a British accent…
It sounds like you’re saying “bacon” in a Jamaican accent.
- Ask a guy to say “nis I have no p” ten times fast.
- Ask a girl to look down and then spell the word “attic.”
- Create a Facebook ad promoting a Chewbacca Roar Contest, listing an ill-fated friend’s phone number. Just make sure you’re nearby so you hear the constant Wookiee cries!
- Ask someone to say SHOP ten times.
Then they say, “What do you do when you come to a green light?” They’ll carefully say, “STOP?” And you’ll answer, “No, green means GO.”
- Pretend you’re on the phone and ask someone to write down a name and address for you. Then spell out the name “I.P. Freely.”
- Have someone say Bea O’Problem 10 times straight.
- Why does the ocean look blue? Why?
Because the fishes go blu-blu-blu.
- A magician said, “I will disappear on the count of three.” So he counted out loud…
“Uno!” “Dos!” And then poof he vanished without a tres.
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there? Control Freak. Con… OK, now you say, “Control Freak, who?”
- How does the sun express its love?
- While holding your hand up in a cramped, clawed position, say, “Wankers cramp! Get it?”
Then they say, “Oh yeah, yeah, I get it.” (They don’t really understand but say they do so as not to seem silly.)
- What color are clouds? What color is snow? What color is Santa’s beard?
Now ask, what do cows drink? (They might say white.)
- Noose Pay Perry Port
- Pretty Shack Scent
- Abe Less Sing
- Ache Wrist Muck Air Hull
(A Christmas Carol.)
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