No Assembly Required! 20+ Ikea Jokes That Are Fjälkinge Hilarious

by Team Scary Mommy
Originally Published: 
IKEA jokes, ikea sign
Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

There’s a pretty general consensus among couples that if you can survive a trip to Ikea together, you can survive anything else life throws at you. That’s because the Swedish furniture giant is known for massive stores with nearly-endless aisles and sections selling everything from outdoor furniture to plastic baby cutlery. In other words, if it goes into your home, they sell it. And while a relationship may weather the shopping trip together, the jury is still out on whether it can survive the furniture assembly. Luckily for us, all this frustration has given way to hilarious Ikea jokes and puns that will have you rolling with laughter.

So if you love shopping jokes, Black Friday jokes, or just general relationship jokes, you’ll love our roundup of the best Ikea jokes the internet has blessed us with. Enjoy!

1. They don’t have Ikea stores in the USSR.

They have OURkea. 2. Thor, Iron Man, and Hulk walk into Ikea. Avengers… assemble! 3. A sales associate goes to interview for a job at Ikea. The manager says, “Welcome! Come in and make a seat.” 4. What are the stores called that sell fake Ikea replicas? LIKEA. 5. Ikea won’t stop calling me. All I wanted was one nightstand. 6. The Ikea owner died, and his funeral was delayed. They couldn’t figure out how to put his casket together. 7. I had one nightstand yesterday. Thanks to the Ikea sale, today I have two. 8. What does a person obsessed with Ikea suffer from? Stock-home syndrome. 9. Don’t ask me why your Ikea furniture isn’t holding up. You only have your shelf to blame. 10. Going into a teenager’s room is the same as going to Ikea. You go in just to see what’s new and come out with 10 plates, three cups, and a pair of socks. 11. I would tell you a joke about Ikea furniture, But the setup takes too long and my final product is wobbly. 12. My school has become an academy; it’s sponsored by Ikea. Lessons are OK, but morning assembly takes ages. 13. The first thing I do after I wake up every morning is make my bed. Tomorrow I’m returning it to Ikea. 14. There is a mysterious crime spree going on at our local Ikea. The cops are having a hard time putting the pieces together. 15. Anyone wants to hear me make an Ikea joke? Sorry, you’ll have to make it yourself. 16. I bought a shelf at Ikea. Took me all day to put the Fjälkinge thing together. 17. How many Swedish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I have no Ikea. 18. Apparently one out of every 10 Europeans were conceived on an Ikea bed. Which is crazy when you consider how well lit those places are. 19. I went to one of those escape rooms and got out in three hours. It’s called Ikea. 20. The Wolf of Wall Street broke the record for saying the f-word 506 times. My dad held the previous record for putting together a table from Ikea. 21. In Sweden, the CEO of Ikea was just elected president. He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week. 22. I heard you can get lawyers at Ikea now. They’re very affordable, but you have to build your own case.

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