Are there people in the world who don’t love Laffy Taffy? And, if so, how do we tell them that they’re wrong? Whether you’re a green and yellow fan or an “all pinks” kinda girl, it doesn’t really matter. Laffy Taffy is not only tasty and fun to chew, it’s fun to open. Hidden under each flap are some of the goofiest, punniest one-liners in the history of jokes.
The only thing we love more than reading the jokes to our family members is chewing through the juicy, flavorful candy. Of course, if we ate them as often as we’d like, our dental bills would be through the roof. If you’re shying away from candy but still want a laugh, we get it. Luckily, it’s easy to find those Laffy Taffy laughs without actually buying any candy. Their jokes are plastered all over the internet for everyone (sweet tooth or not) to enjoy. While we feel like we ready thousands, these are some of our favorites.
Laffy Taffy Jokes Round 1
1. Why did the chicken go to the library?
To check out a bawk.
2. What’s a parasite?
A place you go in Paris.
3. What did the horse say when he fell down?
Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
4. Why did the basketball player bring a duck to the game?
He wanted to shoot a foul shot.
5. How do you communicate with a fish?
You drop it a line.
6. How do billboards talk?
7. What do you call a grandmother who tells jokes?
A gram cracker.
8. What did the lunch lady say to Luke Skywalker?
Use the forks, Luke.
9. Why was the cat afraid of the tree?
Because of it’s bark!
10. What do you call a horse that likes arts & crafts?
A hobby horse.
11. Why do shoemakers go to heaven?
They have good soles.
12. What did one shoe say to the other?
Don’t stick your tongue out at me!
13. Why don’t lobsters share?
Because they are shellfish.
14. What is thin, white, and scary?
15. Did you hear the joke about the toilet?
Never mind, it’s too dirty.
Laffy Taffy Jokes Round 2
16. Do you know what’s really odd?
Numbers not divisible by 2.
17. When do you stop at green and go at red?
When you’re eating a watermelon
18. What word is always spelled incorrectly?
19. What do you call a happy cowboy?
A jolly rancher.
20. Why do we not tell secrets in a corn patch?
Too many ears.
21. Where does a penguin keep his money?
A snow bank.
22. What do you call a baby with a drum?
A baby boomer.
23. When does it rain money?
When there’s a change in the weather.
24. What kind of bean can’t grow?
25. What did the buffalo say to his kid when he went to work?
26. What should you do if your dog is missing?
The lost and hound.
27. What planet is like a circus?
Saturn, it has three rings!
28. What’s green and fluffy and comes from mars?
A martian mellow.
29. Why do phones ring?
Because they can’t talk!
30. How do you turn soup into gold?
Add 24 carrots.
Still More Laffy Taffy Jokes (Round 3)
31. What kind of bear has no teeth?
A gummy bear.
32. What do you call a sad strawberry?
33. What runs around a soccer field but never moves?
34. Why did they bury the battery?
Because it was dead.
35. What’s a parasite?
A place you go in Paris.
36. What is the raddest aircraft?
37. What do you call a car that never sleeps?
38. How does the moon cut his hair?
39. Where do kittens go on their class trip?
To the meowseum.
40. Why did the orange lose the race?
It ran out of juice.
41. Why don’t birds follow directions?
They like to wing it.
42. What do sneezes wear on their feet?
43. Why did the farmer bury all his money?
To make his soil rich.
44. Why did the banana go to the doctor?
He wasn’t peeling well.
45. What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Another Round of Laffy Taffy Jokes (Round 4)
46. What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
47. What falls down but never gets hurt?
48. What did zero say to 8?
49. What do wolves say when they are introduced?
Howl do you do?
50. Why do marsupials make such good tea?
It’s koala tea.
51. What do you call a cat that eats lemons?
A sour puss.
52. What did the bee say to the flower?
53. What building has the most stories?
54. What do you call a pile of cats?
55. What do you call a fake noodle?
56. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
57. What is ten and ten?
58. Who took the frog’s car?
It was toad.
Laffy Taffy Jokes Round 5
59. What has no legs but can do a split?
60. What is the best way to raise a child?
In an elevator.
61. Where do hamsters go on vacation?
62. Why was the tomato blushing?
It saw the salad dressing.
63. What is always behind the time?
The back of the clock.
64. What do you call an avid gardener?
65. Why should you never use a dull pencil?
66. What did the fork say to the spoon?
Who’s that sharp guy next to you?
67. What should you do if you don’t have any rubber bands?
See if you can find a plastic orchestra.
68. Why did the skeleton go to the movie by itself?
It had no body.
69. What do you get if you cross a stereo and a fridge?
Very cool music!
70. Why didn’t the little girl want to leave nursery school?
She wanted to be a nurse when she grew up.
71. What do frogs order at a restaurant?
72. What event do spiders love to attend?
73. Why do ducks have tail feathers?
To cover their buttquacks.
74. What kind of shoes do private investigators wear?
75. What game does the sky love to play?
Laffy Taffy Jokes Round 6
76. What do astronauts eat for dinner?
77. What did one campfire say to the other?
Let’s go out one of these days!
78. What does a car run on?
79. Can February march?
No, but April May.
80. What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
81. What did the egg say to the frying pan?
You crack me up.
82. How do bulls write?
With a bullpen.
83. How do you get an alien baby to sleep?
84. What did the hurricane say to the island?
I’ve got my eye on you!
85. What do you all a fancy sea creature?
86. Why did the bones cross the street?
They didn’t, the dogs ate them.
87. Why did the student eat his homework?
The teacher said it was a piece of cake.
88. What prize do you get for putting your phone on vibrate?
The no bell prize.
89. What is a tree’s favorite drink?
90. Why don’t ducks tell jokes while they are flying?
Because they would quack up.
91. What is the biggest room in the world?
Room for improvement.
92. What room can never be entered?
93. Why couldn’t the shoes go out and play?
They were all tied up.
94. Why didn’t the leopard go on vacation?
He couldn’t find the right spot.
95. What did the skunk say when the wind changed?
It’s all coming back to me now.
96. What do you get when you cross a pig with a Christmas tree?
97. Why is a pancake like the sun?
Because it rises in the yeast and rests in the vest.
98. Why do hamburgers fly south for the winter?
So they won’t freeze their buns.
99. What kind of tree grows in your hand?
A palm tree.
100. What did the cheerleader say to the ghost?
Show some spirit.
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