Ho Ho Ho

60+ Jolly Christmas Jokes For Kids Sure To Put You On Santa's Nice List

What kind of music do elves listen to? Wrap.

by Patricia Grisafi
Originally Published: 
christmas jokes
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Christmas is an opportunity to spend time with family and honor or create new traditions. Some people embrace group activities, like watching A Christmas Story on repeat, while others toil away in the kitchen, lovingly crafting a disgusting fruitcake that no one will eat. Why not make sharing laughs part of your holiday experience with these clean, kid-friendly (and funny) Christmas jokes?

After all, the holidays are the merriest time of year — they just lend themselves to laughter. What might hit differently the rest of the year manages to hit in the happiest ways come December. Cheesy one-liners about Santa Claus? Bring ’em on. Silly reindeer puns? Why not? There’s no better season to lean into the campiness of jokes.

If you’re looking for even more feel-good holiday fun, well, we’ve got that too. Check out our pages on Christmas games for kids, Christmas trivia, funny Christmas quotes (or sentimental Christmas quotes), and Christmas riddles. For now, enjoy a few festive giggles courtesy of the following jolly jokes.

Ho-ho-ho-larious Christmas Jokes and Puns

  1. Why was the little girl so cold on Christmas? Because it was Decembrrrr.
  2. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.
  3. Why do mummies like Christmas? Because of all the wrapping.
  4. How do sheep say happy holidays to each other? “Merry Christmas to ewe.”
  5. What does a Gingerbread man make his bed with? A cookie sheet.
  6. Where does the snowman keep his money? In a snow bank.
  7. What is every parent’s favorite Christmas carol? “Silent Night.”
  8. What do you call Santa Claus if he goes down a lit chimney? Crisp Cringle.
  9. Who delivers Christmas presents to cats? Santa Claws.
  10. What do you call a greedy elf? Elfish.
  11. What does Santa Claus do in his garden? Hoe, hoe, hoe.
  12. Who delivers Christmas presents to dogs? Santa Paws.
  13. What do you call people with a fear of Santa Claus? Claus-trophobic.
  14. What falls at the North Pole but never gets injured? Snow.
  15. What do monkeys sing at Christmas? “Jungle Bells.”
  16. Who gives Christmas presents to sharks? Santa Jaws.
  17. Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners? Rude-olph.
  18. Where do you find reindeer? Depends on where you left them.
  19. What do you give a train conductor for Christmas? Platform shoes.
  20. Why couldn’t the Christmas tree stand? It doesn’t have legs.
  21. If a reindeer loses his tail, where can he find a new one? A retail store.
  22. How do you know Santa Claus is good at karate? He has a black belt.
  23. What’s as big as Santa Claus but weighs nothing? His shadow.
  24. What kind of bug hates Christmas? A humbug.
  25. What do elves learn at school? The elf-abet.
  26. What do elves use to get to the top floor of Santa’s workshop? The elf-evator.
  27. Why did Santa’s helper feel sad? He had low elf-esteem.
  28. What is red, white, and blue during the holidays? A sad candy cane.
  29. What kind of music do elves listen to? Wrap.
  30. What is the best thing to put in the Christmas pie? Your teeth.
  31. What did the duck say to the reindeer? “Quack.”
  32. What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs? Whatever you want. He can’t hear you anyway.
  33. Why don’t lobsters celebrate Christmas? Because they’re shellfish.
  34. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hope. Hope who? Hope you had a nice Christmas!
  35. Knock, knock Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad you were good all year?
  36. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah good Christmas joke?
  37. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Anna. Anna who? Anna partridge in a pear tree.
  38. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ima. Ima who? Ima dreaming of a white Christmas.
  39. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names…
  40. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut who? Doughnut open these presents until Christmas.
  41. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and open your presents!
  42. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cole. Cole who? Cole is not what I was expecting for Christmas this year!
  43. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dewey. Dewey who? Dewey know how long it is until Santa gets here?
  44. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you like to sing Christmas carols with me?
  45. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Yule. Yule who? Yule know when you look out the door.
  46. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hannah. Hannah who? Hannah partridge in a pear tree.
  47. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Alaska. Alaska who? Alaska Santa Claus for a new scooter.
  48. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time to deliver the Christmas gifts.
  49. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mary. Mary who? Mary Christmas.
  50. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Alex. Alex who? I’ll Alex Santa if you’re on his naughty list this year.
  51. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ho, ho. Ho, ho, who? Your Santa impression needs some work.
  52. What action figure is made for Christmas? G.I. MistleJoe.
  53. Why was all of the mistletoe growing up one tree? It was poplar tree.
  54. What looks like half a mistletoe leaf? The other half.
  55. If baseball players get athlete’s foot, what do reindeer get? Mistle-toes.
  56. What part of our body can only be seen at Christmas-time? The mistletoe.
  57. What did the mistletoe do when it went on a long holiday? It took a leaf of absence.
  58. What did one mistletoe leaf say to the other? “I’m falling for you.”
  59. How did so many people hear about mistletoe and Christmas? Amp-leaf-ication.
  60. How does mistletoe send Christmas greetings? By teLEAFone.
  61. How can you tell when a Christmas party is over? Mistletoe leaves.

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