30+ Funny Money Jokes, One Liners, Puns, And More – Scary Mommy

These 30+ Hilarious Jokes About Money Will Make You Feel Like A Millionaire

October 30, 2019 Updated September 21, 2020

money jokes
Skitterphoto/ Pexels

Teaching your kids about money can be stressful. The fact that it exists, that everyone needs it, that it does not grow on trees…stressful. Lighten up your family‘s financial lesson plans with these clean, kid-friendly money jokes. It might take awhile for those lessons to sink in, but at least you can share some laughs in the meantime.

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1. What did one penny say to the other penny?
Let’s get together and make some cents

2. What is brown and has a head and a tail but no legs?
A penny

3. When does it rain money?
When there is “change” in the weather

4. Why don’t cows have any money?
Because farmers milk them dry

5. Where does Dracula keep his money?
In a blood bank

6. Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank

7. Where do fish keep their money?
In a river-bank

8. How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
With Tyrannosaurus checks

9. Where can you always find money?
In the dictionary

Related: 182 Hilarious Jokes For Kids That Adults Find Funny Too

10. Why did the robber take a bath before he stole from the bank?
He wanted to make a clean getaway

11. What did the duck say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill

12. What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
Give me my quarterback

13. What has a hundred heads and a hundred tails?
One hundred pennies

14. Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather

15. Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
Because they’re always a little short

money jokes
Warner Bros.

16. Why did the student eat his dollar bill?
His mother told him it was for lunch

17. Why did the student swallow all his pennies?
The teacher said he needed more sense

18. What did the dollar name is daughter?
Penny

19. How much money does a skunk have?
One scent

20. How is the moon like a dollar?
They both have 4 quarters

21. Where do penguins keep their money?
In snowbanks

22. What did the duck say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill

23. What type of money do crabs use?
Sand dollars

24.If money grew on trees, what would be everyone’s favorite season?
Fall

25. Where do frogs deposit their money?
In a river bank

26. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
Cash me if you can

27. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
You’re nuts

28. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Hanover.
Hanover who?
Hanover your money

28. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Iowa.
Iowa who?
Iowa you a dollar

29. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Yolanda.
Yolanda who?
Yolanda me some money

30. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Celeste.
Celeste who?
Celeste time I lend you money

31. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Nicholas
Nicholas who?
Nicholas half as much as a dime

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