If you have little ones, most likely you will be celebrating New Year’s Eve waaaaay before the ball drops — and then promptly falling asleep in a pile of sparkly fedoras and noisemakers that sound like sick cows. That’s okay! Make the most of your abbreviated New Year’s Eve by telling your tiny party animals these clean, kid-friendly New Year’s Eve jokes.
But don’t feel like you can’t enjoy these gems if you do have big plans to stay up past midnight on December 31. Maybe you plan on putting your little ones to bed and then keeping the NYE party rolling. Well, we’re here to tell you that these wholesome jokes are an excellent way to start your year off on the right foot — in laughter.
While you’re looking toward the next 365 days, you should also check out our pages on achievable New Year’s resolutions, funny New Year’s resolutions, and funny New Year’s quotes. For now, though, enjoy these clean NYE knee-slappers.
1. Why do birds fly south for New Year’s Eve?
It’s too far to walk.
2. What do snowmen like to do on New Year’s Eve?
3. Why should you put your new calendar in the freezer?
To start off the new year in a cool way.
4. What’s a cow‘s favorite holiday?
Moo Year’s Eve.
5. What do you say to your friends on New Year’s Eve?
I haven’t seen you since last year.
6. Why do you need a jeweler on New Year’s Eve?
To ring in the new year.
7. Where can you go to practice Math on New Year’s Eve?
8. What does a ghost say on January 1st?
Happy Boo Year.
9. What did the farmer give his wife on New Year’s Eve?
Hogs and kisses.
10. What did the cat say on New Year’s Eve?
11. What should you never eat on New Year’s Eve?
12. What is a New Year’s resolution?
Something that goes in one year and out the other.
13. What’s the problem with jogging on New Year’s Eve?
You’ll spill your punch all over.
14. What’s the one group that hates New Year’s Day?
The New Year’s Even clean-up crew.
15. What is a corn’s favorite holiday?
New Ears Day.
16. Knock knock!
Abby New Year.
17. Knock knock!
For cheese a jolly good fellow.
18. Knock knock!
Razor glass and toast the New Year.
19. How come no one listens to New Year’s resolutions?
They go in one year and out the other.
20.What do you cows celebrate on December 31st?
Moo Years Eve.
21. What’s the problem with jogging on New Year’s Eve?
The ice falls out of your drinks!
22. Not to brag, but I already have a date for New Year’s Eve.
23. They say New York has the best New Year’s Eve Party…
I’d say it’s overrated — every year they drop the ball.
24. My new year’s resolution is to procrastinate.
But I will wait till tomorrow to start.
25. I’M BACK!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR, AMERICANS!!!
Sincerely, Your Health Insurance Deductible