Do you have a little astronaut or future Neil deGrasse Tyson on your hands? Are your kid’s birthday parties always space-themed? Do you scour the internet for the best stargazing telescopes and toys for kids? Mama, you may just have a space cadet on your hands! With STEM toys, activities, and education a major focal point in childhood development over the last few years, parents are constantly on the lookout for unique and fun ways to foster their children’s imagination and love of all things math and science.
So if your kiddo is already obsessed with learning about the planets, outer space, and the space shuttle, what could be better than a good space pun or joke to make their day? With that in mind, we’ve done the work for you and found the best funnies this side of the asteroid belt. In addition to astronaut jokes and solar system puns, you could also regale your children about the good ol’ times when Pluto was still considered a planet.
1. Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
To find Pluto.
2. I am throwing a party in space.
Can you help me planet?
3. Why didn’t the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
4. Where do keyboards go to have dinner?
The space bar.
5. Why did the astronaut break up with her boyfriend?
Because she needed some space.
6. Why can’t you tell anyone about space?
Because it’s too out of this world!
7. Why couldn’t the astronaut put the helmet on her head?
Because she didn’t have enough space.
8. What is an astronaut’s favorite chocolate?
A mars bar.
9. Where would an astronaut park his spaceship?
A parking meteor.
10. What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon.
11. What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
12. Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?
Because there was no atmosphere.
13. What do you call a comet wrapped in bacon?
14. What did the alien say to the garden?
“Take me to your weeder!”
15. Why aren’t astronauts hungry when they get to space?
They had a big launch.
16. Why did the cow go to outer space?
To visit the milky way.
17. Why don’t aliens eat clowns?
Because they taste funny!
18. How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?
When it’s full.
19. What do planets like to read?
20. What do you call a tick on the moon?
21. What kind of music do planets sing?
22. Why did the cow go into the spaceship?
It wanted to see the mooooooon.
23. Why did the rocket scientist stop working on a project?
He had no comet-ment.
24. Saturn’s name is the best in our solar system.
It has a nice ring to it.
25. Why haven’t aliens come to our solar system yet?
They read the reviews: one star.
26. How does our solar system hold up its pants?
With an asteroid belt.
27. When our solar system was formed, the sun was in charge.
So, the planets started a revolution.
28. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down.
29. Why didn’t the Dog Star laugh at the joke?
It was too Sirius.
30. What should you do if you see a green alien?
Wait until it’s ripe!
31. What do aliens on the metric system say?
“Take me to your liter.”
32. What did the alien say when he was out of room?
“I’m all spaced out!”
33. What did Mars say to Saturn?
“Give me a ring sometime.”
34. Knock, knock.
Who’s there? Solar. Solar, who? Solar you going to think of a better joke?
35. Sherlock Holmes and John Watson are camping on a case they are investigating. After putting up the tent, having a good dinner, and drinking a bottle of wine, they go to sleep.
In the middle of the night, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see,” Holmes says, shivering. “I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes,” replies Watson. “And what do you deduce from that?” Watson ponders for a minute. “Well, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Somewhere in the universe, with so many billions of stars similar to the sun, there is a high probability that some of these stars have Earth-like planets. And assuming the Earth is typical, some may have developed intelligent life. It means that humanity, may not be alone in this vast cosmos. What did you deduce Holmes?” Holmes is silent for a moment before he replies. “Quite,” he says. “Though my more immediate concern is the fact that, clearly, someone has stolen our tent.”
36. Yesterday I was charged $10,000 dollars for sending my cat into space.
It was a cat astro fee.
37. Despite space being a vacuum…
Mars is really dusty.
38. Why did the Americans win the space race?
Because the Soviets were Stalin.
39. How do space cowboys wrangle their cattle?
A tractor beam.
40. Yesterday I was talking to an alien from space. Turns out they eat radioactive materials.
I asked it what its favorite meal was. It told me fission chips.
41. What do you call a lazy man in space?
42. How did the space teddy bear cross the road?
43. Why will space be a popular tourist spot?
The view is breathtaking and will leave you speechless.
44. Who was the first deer in space?
45. If athletes get athlete’s foot, then what do astronauts get?
46. Who in the solar system has the loosest change?
The moon because it keeps changing quarters.
47. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
“Time to get your booster shot!”
48. What do you get when you cross a lamb and a rocket?
A space sheep!
49. Three people were all bragging about their country. The first person says, “We were the first in space!”
And the second responds, “Well, we were first on the moon! Beat that!” So the third person says, “Well, that’s nothing. Me and my crew are going to the sun!” “How are you gonna do that?” said the other two. “Well, duh! We are gonna go at night!”
50. Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?
Because Mercury moved in.
51. What did Neil Armstrong say when no one laughed at his moon jokes?
“I guess you had to be there.”
52. What dance do all astronauts know?
53. How do you know when the moon is going broke?
When it’s down to its last quarter.
54. Which is closer, Florida or the moon?
The moon. You can’t see Florida from here.
55. Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the moon?
Because it was full!
56. Why do Saturn’s two moons swap orbit every four years?
To keep minty fresh.
57. How did the alien break its phone?
He Saturn it.
58. Jupiter has 64 moons.
That’s why they have a bad werewolf problem.
59. Why was Jupiter banned from competing in the planetary boxing championship?
He was taking asteroids.
60. What do you call croissants in space?
61. What is Saturn’s favorite movie?
Lord of the Rings.
62. What do you get if you send an anime fan to one of Saturn’s moons?
Otaku on Titan.
63. Why are people always criticizing Orion’s belt?
It’s a big waist of space.
64. Why is there no air in space?
Because the Milky Way would go bad.
65. What do you give an alien?
66. What is money called in space?
67. What do stars say when they apologize to one another?
68. What do you say if you want to start a fight in space?
“Comet me, bro!”
69. Why did the sun go to school?
To get brighter.
70. What’s a lightyear?
It’s like a regular year… with fewer calories.
71. What did the alien say to the cat?
“Take me to your litter!”
72. Which stars wear glasses?
73. Why did Venus dump Mars?
She only wanted a pluto-nic relationship.
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