53 Bear Jokes And Puns So Hilarious We Can Hardly Bear It

by Team Scary Mommy
Originally Published: 
bear jokes and puns
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Looking for more animal jokes? Check out our page of cow, dog, giraffe, fish, whale, owl, and pig jokes, among many others.

Did you know there are eight different species of bears on Earth? Or what about the fact that they’re some of the most intelligent animals, with navigation skills and memories that match or even exceed that of humans. They’re also quite loving and will risk their own lives to protect their cubs. Are you impressed? Then imagine just how much these bear fun facts will delight your kid, especially if they’re going through a bear phase.

All this is even more interesting if you have a little animal lover who is obsessed with bears and animal jokes in general. Luckily for you, we’ve gone ahead and rounded the internet’s most popular and ubiquitous bear jokes, puns, and riddles for kids that are just as hilarious to parents.


Best Bear Jokes and Puns

1. Why did the bear dissolve in water?

Because it was polar. 2. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear! 3. Why did Mother Nature make only one Yogi Bear? Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo. 4. How do you start a teddy bear race? Ready, teddy, GO! 5. Why do pandas like old movies? Because they’re in black and white. 6. Why didn’t the baby leave his momma? Because he couldn’t bear it! 7. What is a bear’s favorite drink? Koka-Koala! 8. What did the teddy bear say after dinner? I’m stuffed. 9. Why did the bear cross the road? It was the chicken’s day off! 10. What do you call bears without ears? B’s. 11. What does pooh eat at parties? Blue bear-y pie. 12. Why did Tigger look in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh 13. Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the bear minimum. 14. What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp? A bear faced lyre! 15. What do you call a freezing bear? A brrrrrrr. 16. What is as big as a bear but weighs nothing? Its shadow! 17. How do you apologize to a koala? Bear your heart and soul. 18. What do you call a grizzly bear in a phone booth? Stuck! 19. What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear? Winnie the PU! 20. What do you get when you cross a bear with a garden? Squash! 21. What do you call a wet bear? A drizzly bear. 22. Why do polar bears have fur coats? Because they would look weird in ski jackets. 23. What does Pooh Bear call his significant other? Hunny. 24. What do you get when you cross a teddy bear with a wild hog? A teddy boar. 25. Why was the bear cub so spoiled? Because his mother panda’d to his every whim! 26. What do you call a bear that jumps but never lands? Peter Panda. 27. Why did the bear quit his second job? He needed some koala-ty time with his family. 28. What do you call a bear with a bad attitude? The bearer of bad news. 29. Where do teenage polar bears go to dance? The snow-ball. 30. What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal? Ice Crispies. 31. What is a polar bear’s favorite healthy snack? Iceberg lettuce and snow peas. 32. What do you call a polar bear in Florida? A solar bear. 33. How do bears travel when they go on vacation? Bear-o-planes. 34. What do you call a bear who practices dentistry? A molar bear. 35. How can a bear catch fish without a pole? They use their bear hands. 36. Why is it cheap to feed polar bears? Because they live on ice only. 37. Why don’t bears eat fast food? Because it’s hard for them to catch. 38. Why did the bear quit his job at the daycare center? It was panda-monium! 39. How did the grizzly bear walk in the snow? Bear-footed. 40. Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head? Yoga Bear. 41. What color socks do bears wear? None. They usually have bear (bare) feet. 42. Why do bears have a hairy coat? Fur protection. 43. Where does a polar bear go to vote? The North Pole. 44. What do you call a teddy bear at the North Pole? Lost! 45. How do koalas stay cool in the summer? Bear conditioning. 46. People often ask what I do at the teddy bear factory. My reply? “Just stuff.” 47. What are teddy bear poops called? Fleeces. 48. What do you call a teddy bear who rides a bike everywhere? Schwinnie the Pooh. 49. What’s a koala’s favorite drink? A root bear float. 50. How does a bear stop a movie? It hits the paws button. 51. Two bears are walking through the woods when one stops abruptly. “Hey, what’re you doing?” the first bear asks. “I’m just paws-ing for a break!” replied the other. 52. Do you know you only need two letters to spell panda? You need a P and A. 53. How does the koala bear stay fit? He does bear-obics.

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