There’s nothing funnier than animal jokes, except maybe hilarious puns for kids that will play on their minds all day. With that in mind, we compiled the absolute best kid-friendly bird, chicken, and turkey puns you’ll tweet home about.
Where would animated films be without their beaked characters? In Aladdin, mischief would be impossible without Iago, Jafar’s meddling parrot. And a chunk of Moana‘s comedy would disappear without the scenes of Moana’s pet chicken, Heihei (Seriously… what was wrong with that bird?) Even if birds aren’t your favorite animal, we can all agree they’re helpful and hilarious feathered creatures. Even Joey and Chandler from Friends had a few fowl in their New York City apartment. So who knows? These jokes may inspire you to get your own chicks. We assure you, the adventures will be endless. But if you’re looking for a laugh instead of a pet at the moment, check out below!
1. A bird stole my snack. You know what I said?
“Toucan play at that game.”
2. Did you hear the owls having a party last night?
Sounded like a real hoot.
3. What did the turkey say when he forgot to study for his test?
“I’ll just wing it.”
4. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they’d be called bay-gulls.
5. What does the turkey say when he’s using the computer?
6. Why did the owl join Tinder?
He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
7. I published a book about birds.
It flew off the shelf.
8. What side of a turkey has the most features?
9. What’s green and pecks on trees?
Woody the Wood Pickle.
10. How do chickens stay fit?
11. What do you call a parrot that flew away?
12. My friend wanted to have an eagle for a pet.
I said, “Don’t you know that’s ill eagle?”
13. What did the dad turkey say to his stubborn child?
“If your mother could see you now, she’d be turning over in her gravy.”
14. What do you call a bird who wins Jeopardy?
15. Why does the flamingo stand on one leg?
If it lifted both legs, it’d fall over.
16. I got into a fight with a bird while I was down south.
I have no egrets.
17. Why can’t turkeys go to church?
They use fowl language.
18. Did you hear about the sad bird?
He was a bluebird.
19. I know a bird who was excluded from his flock for being too big.
He was ostrich-sized.
20. Why do turkeys hate baseball?
The fowl balls and bastes really stress them out.
21. What do you give a sick bird?
22. What do you call an owl who does magic tricks?
23. What birds spend all their time on their knees?
Birds of prey.
24. We are not emused.
25. What do you call it when a canary flies into a pastry dish?
26. What did the bird text his girlfriend?
“I’ve been thinking about you owl night.”
27. What did the eagle say when he got cold?
28. What do you call a rude turkey?
29. What do you call an owl who was just caught committing a crime?
A spotted owl.
30. Did you hear about the crow on the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long-distance caw.
31. What kind of crime are you committing when you attack a bird?
A featheral offense.
32. What does the one-legged turkey say?
33. What do you call a medieval bird?
A knight owl.
34. What did the duck eat with his soup?
35. What do you call it when chickens play hide and seek?
36. What kind of math do snowy owls like?
37. Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
38. What do you call a crate of ducks?
A box of quackers.
39. When’s the best time to buy a bird?
When it’s going cheep.
40. What do you call it when an owl has an upset stomach that makes him grumpy?
Irritable owl syndrome.
41. The owl outside seems very sick, but he’s not letting it bother him.
He said he couldn’t give a hoot.
42. How many cans do you need to make a bird?
43. What kind of bird can you buy at the grocery store?
44. What’s the turkey’s favorite Halloween costume?
45. How do penguins make a decision?
46. What kind of bird can carry the most weight?
47. What kind of birds get locked up?
48. What did the magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod!”
49. I came home to find a bird had broken in and destroyed all my stuff.
He used a crowbar.
50. What do you call an owl who can time travel?
51. What’s the difference between chickens and turkeys?
Only the chickens celebrate Thanksgiving.
52. Who is the penguin’s favorite relative?
53. What do you get when you cross a duck with fireworks?
54. What do you call an owl who’s all mixed up?
55. What do you get when you cross an owl and an oyster?
Pearls of wisdom.
56. What kind of bird runs the church?
57. What did the turkey say to the hunter?
“Quack, quack, quack!”
58. What’s an owl’s favorite kind of book?
59. My best friend was diagnosed with bird flu.
He swears it was fowl plague.
60. What do you call a very rude bird?
61. What bird robs you while you bathe?
A robber duck.
62. Have you heard of the GPS device they made for bird watchers?
It has tern by tern directions.
63. What do you call a sarcastic turkey?
A smirky turkey.
64. Where do birds invest their money?
The stork market.
65. Why did the pelican get kicked out of the fancy restaurant?
He had a massive bill and no money to pay.
66. What do you call a funny duck?
A real wise-quacker.
67. What do you call a young bird after he publishes his first book?
A fledgling author.
68. What’s a parrot’s favorite game?
Hide and speak.
69. What do you get when you teach a turkey witty comebacks?
A turkey who roasts you.
70. What soap do birds use?
71. How does a bird with a broken wing land safely?
It uses a sparrowchute.
72. Why do hummingbirds hum?
They don’t know the words.
73. How do blackbirds stay together in a flock?
74. What do you call an over-caffeinated turkey?
A perky turkey.
75. Where does bird royalty live?
76. What do you get when you cross a bird with a lawnmower?
77. What do you call a turkey that’s bad at bowling?
A gutter ball turkey.
78. My bird can predict the future.
He’s an omen pigeon.
79. Which bird is always out of breath?
80. What do you call a woodpecker with no beak?
81. Why do turkeys make bad baseball players?
They only hit fowl balls.
82. What language do geese speak?
83. Where do crows go to get drunk?
A crow bar.
84. What’s a bird’s favorite addition to his salad?
85. What do you get when you cross a parrot and a centipede?
86. What is a turkey’s favorite type of tree?
87. What’s smarter than a talking parrot?
A spelling bee.
88. What do flamingos do at parties?
89. What do you call a bird with a black belt?
90. What kind of bird doesn’t need a home?
A bald eagle.
91. What’s a bird’s favorite game?
92. What do you call a criminal raven?
93. What do retired birds do for fun on the weekends?
They play flabingo.
94. What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
95. What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A bird that bites your ear off.
96. What’s the opposite of a flamingo?
97. What do turkey’s use to drink from?
98. What is a crow’s least favorite show?
That’s So Raven.
99. What do you get when you cross a flamingo with a Beatle?
100. What did the canary say when his cage broke?
Cheep cheep cheep.
101. What do you get when you cross a parrot with a pigeon?
102. My homing pigeon died.
I’m worried it will come back to haunt me.
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