Brooklyn Nine-Nine has long established itself as the cop office comedy we all needed. And if its premise, cast of characters, and joke format feel familiar, that’s because Mike Schur, the producer and co-creator of the series, is also behind other fan-favorites like The Office and Parks and Rec. With funny one-liners and catchphrases like “Title of your sex tape” (the successor to “that’s what she said” and “treat yourself”) and even more memorable characters, it’s not hard to see why the series has been so successful and has racked up 11 Emmy nominations and two wins.
While most of Brooklyn‘s storylines center around Jake Peralta, Amy Santiago, Rosa Ruiz, Charles Boyle, and Captain Holt, it’s Gina Linetti that takes the cake as the no-bullshit, witty, and sarcastic heart and soul of the series. Played brilliantly by comedian Chelsea Peretti, Gina delivers some of the most shocking and hilarious lines of the series. To paraphrase one of her best quotes, Gina Linetti is a Timberlake, so stop treating her like a Fatone.
With her die-hard fans in mind, we’ve gone ahead and rounded up Gina’s most fire quotes and pithy lines in the hopes they bring the enthusiasm she clearly lacks.
1. “The English language can not fully capture the depth and complexity of my thoughts, so I’m incorporating emojis into my speech to better express myself. Winky face.”
2. “If I die, turn my tweets into a book.” 3. “Jake, why don’t you just do the right thing and jump out of a window?” 4. “Captain, turn your greatest weakness into your greatest strength. Like Paris Hilton, RE: her sex tape.” 5. “Okay, no hard feelings, but I hate you. Not joking. Bye.” 6. “With all due respect, that pigeon is clearly a Ray-Jay. Hi, Gina Linetti, the human form of the 100 emoji.” 7. “This man is a Timberlake and you need to stop treating him like a Fatone.” 8. Gina: “Captain. I know this isn’t my place to say, but Madeline Wuntch is here to see you.” Captain Holt: “Actually, that’s exactly your place to say. You are my assistant. What, precisely, did you think your job was?” 9. “It’s Gina’s phone. Leave me a voicemail. I won’t check it ’cause it’s not 1993.” 10. “My mother cried the day I was born because she knew she would never be better than me.” 11. “You should make me your campaign manager. I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.” 12. “You think you can just bully people, but you can’t. It’s not okay. I’m the bully around here. Ask anyone.” 13. “The only thing I’m not good at is modesty, because I’m great at it.” 14. “I grew up forging report cards. If people knew how smart I was, it would have been harder to control them.” 15. “Captain? The kids want to know where Paulie the Pigeon is. I told them he got sucked up into an airplane engine. Is that all right?” 16. “Wait, first, let’s say a prayer. Dear Beyonce, Solange, Rihanna, someone cool that’s white, Cardi B, please bless this flush. A-women.” 17. “Breakups are a cartoony thumbs down. They make people feel face-with-Xs-for-the-eyes.” 18. “I feel like I’m the Paris of people.” 19. “I’m scared of businessmen. A whole army of gray-suited Brads and Chads trying to suck my soul and redeem it for frequent flyer miles.” 20. “Every time you talk, I hear that sound that plays when Pac-Man dies.” 21. “The only reason I didn’t tell you is I don’t value you as people, so why be honest?” 22. “I’d describe the workflow today as dismal with a tiny dash of pathetic.” 23. “I worked at a sunglass kiosk at the mall for four years. So not only have I been through hell, I was assistant manager there.” 24. “I need someone to take this personality test for my psych class. I was hoping to wow my professor with a genuine psycho. Like Amy. Or Hitchcock. Or Charles would be great.” 25. “I was thinking how I would make the perfect American president based upon my skill set, dance ability, and bloodlust.” 26. “I’m 23, I’m a celebrity, and today, I’m gonna die!” 27. “Attention, skeezy nobodies! Tina Knowles, Beyonce’s momager, has contacted me and wants to audition me tonight. I’ve transcended you now.” 28. “I would spend my $5,000 to buy backstage passes to Britney, and then I’d ask her one question: You think you’re a better dancer than me?” 29. “As everyone knows, my spirit animal is nature’s greatest predator, the wolf.” 30. “Nobody can ever know that we had sex, all right? I have spent years cultivating a reputation as somebody who sleeps with bike messengers or better.” 31. “Timothée Chalamet, shimmy-yah, shimmy-yay. Timothée Chalamet, shimmy-yah, shimmy-yay.” 32. “But isn’t Gina Linetti more of a state of mind?” 33. “Is there any way I could skip doing that, and instead not do that?” 34. “It’s a sloppy Jessica. Mac and cheese, chili, pizza on a bun. It’s everything I’ve wanted to eat for the last 48 hours.” 35. “Which suggests pre-adolescent trauma leading to a pattern of criminality that probably began as a juvenile. I’m taking an abnormal psych class, and everyone in it is obsessed with me.” 36.”If Rosa had a twin, she would have eaten her in the womb.” 37. “Hold it up! You’re gonna let some quack doctor just knife around down there? You are blessed with a great power, and you should never snip its wings. You should let it soar.” 38. Diaz: “Can you estimate the value of everything that was taken?” Gina: “Emotionally? $700 million.” 39. Gina: “I was legally dead for two full minutes. And I met God.” Rosa: “Tight. What did she look like?” Gina: “Ethnically ambiguous.” 40. “I hate the ocean. That’s where that stuck-up bitch Rose let Leo die. There was plenty of room on that door.” 41. “Gina’s Authentic Stolen Police Badges. How can I help?” 42. “How was I supposed to know that there would be consequences for my actions?” 43. “You think you can intimidate me? I went through hell.” 44. “Adults don’t care about their birthdays.” 45. “My mom is marrying, shudder, Charles’s dad, toilet emoji.” 46. “Because I am prepared to light Charles on fire in protest.”
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