John Mulaney Jokes About Baby Malcolm’s ‘Calzone Legs’ While Hosting ‘SNL’

Mulaney also shared when he “bonded the hardest” with his newborn son and what life is like as a new dad

This weekend, comedian John Mulaney hosted Saturday Night Live, which marked an impressive professional achievement: entering the show’s Five-Timers Club. But it wasn’t the fact that Mulaney was officially joining the exclusive list of the SNL hosts that was a stand-out of his visit. It was the recent monumental milestone in his personal life — the birth of his first child, Malcolm.

After the show’s opening tribute to Ukraine on Feb. 26, Mulaney performed his monologue, which touched on the major changes in his personal life since the last time he’d graced SNL‘s stage. This included an intervention, a stint in rehab, breaking up with his drug dealer and welcoming baby Malcolm Hiệp Mulaney with girlfriend Olivia Munn in November.

“Life is a lot better and happier now. I have a 12-week-old son,” Mulaney declared. “He is a pretty cool guy for someone who can’t vote. His legs are like little calzones, and I want to eat ’em.”

Mulaney then shared that the first time he officially “bonded the hardest” with his son was right after Malcolm’s birth, when the new family of three was still in the delivery room. He got his first glimpse of the newborn’s personality when the nurses brought the little guy over to the warmer.

“They put him on the warmer under this big, bright light and light is just shining in his eyes,” Mulaney said. “He just looks up at the light and … he was annoyed, but he didn’t say anything. I was like, ‘That’s my son.’ A polite man in an uncomfortable situation, but he’s not going to make a fuss.”

Mulaney also described watching his baby boy learn the first of many hard life lessons when Malcolm’s favorite pacifier was recently recalled. After finding out about the report, all of Malcolm’s prized binkies the family had around the house were swiftly collected and put in a basket on the counter, which Mulaney says Malcolm was quick to spot.

“I see this look in his eyes all of the time of like, ‘I want to use those but I can’t because they could kill me,'” he says while impersonating his son’s struggle. He added, “Welcome to my world, homey.”

The last time Mulaney hosted SNL, it was Halloween 2020 and his life looked a bit different. He was struggling with a drug addiction and fresh out of rehab, unknowingly about to head back after his friends, including Seth Meyers, staged an intervention. He had also separated from his wife of six years, Anna Marie Tendler.

Mulaney used to say he was on the kid-free track, so many thought gushing over his French bulldog, Petunia, was as close as fans were going to get to seeing the comedian’s paternal side. But now Mulaney is a baby-wearing dad who eats up his son’s leg rolls and we must say, it looks good on him.

Mulaney previously joked that he looks like a kid playing dress-up while wearing a suit. But on Saturday, he looked more like a proud new dad — holding his precious baby in an oversized suit of his very own. (Or, as Munn described it on Instagram, “looking like your uncle being carried out of a wedding because he went too hard.”).