Ho, Ho, H'oh Boy

80 Naughty Christmas Pick-Up Lines To Help You Score With Santa

The weather outside is frightful, but these come-ons are so delightful.

Originally Published: 
Christmas Pick-up Lines

There’s something so magical and wonderful about Christmas time. Everyone is in the happiest of moods and on their best behavior. If you’re a grown-up, though, you know there’s really no reason to be nice. That’s right: Why not be a little naughty? You can get your “bad (*ss) mom” status in so many ways. For example, you can be bold this year with a little holiday roleplay. Either you or your partner will have to play Kris Kringle to shimmy down the chimney, right? So, spice up the season by using a few well-time Christmas pick-up lines on each other. Mistletoe… pshhh. These lines are all the romance-makers you need.

Of course, you can lean into the bad Santa vibes in other ways as well. Maybe you’re spiking your hot chocolate or flirting with your partner under the mistletoe at the family Christmas dinner. Perhaps you’re going to hit the ugly Christmas sweater parties single and ready to mingle. You might also experiment with naughtiness by asking for one (or more) battery-operated toys of your own for Christmas. Girl, Santa isn’t real — get down with your bad self!

However you’re flying these days, all of these naughty Christmas pick-up lines are perfect for getting a little “North Pole” action (*wink*).

Cheesy Christmas Pick-Up Lines

  1. Are you Christmas? Because I want to Merry you.
  2. Shouldn’t you be on top of the tree, Angel?
  3. Hi, Santa said you wished for me. Good choice.
  4. Even Santa can’t make candy as sweet as you.
  5. I must be a snowflake, because I’ve fallen for you.
  6. I didn’t think I was a snowman, but you just made my heart melt.
  7. Can you hold my gloves for a second? I usually warm them by the fireplace, but you are way hotter.
  8. Like candy canes and Christmas, me and you were mint for each other.
  9. If I was the Grinch, I wouldn’t steal Christmas. I’d steal you.
  10. If you were a tree, you’d be an evergreen, because I bet you look this good year-round.
  11. Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa exactly what I want for Christmas?
  12. Do you live in an igloo? Because you seem like a pretty cool person.
  13. Can I be the milk to your cookies?
  14. If a big man puts you in a bag tonight, don’t worry. I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.
  15. Are you Rudolph’s red nose? Because, baby, I would say you glow.
  16. If you were a reindeer, you’d be Cupid, because your friend is looking fine tonight. Can you introduce me?
  17. Baby, we need to get together before Christmas — because you can’t spell “love” with No-el.
  18. I can tell you’re quite the elf-a male.
  19. I take romance to a new level — I don’t cuddle; I hibernate.
  20. Keep an eye out for elves with ropes and a blindfold! Why? Cause I asked Santa for you this Christmas.
  21. What’s the difference between you and the Grinch? The Grinch stole Christmas, but you’ve stolen my heart.
  22. Do you celebrate Boxing Day? Because you’re the whole package.
  23. Forget Santa, you’re on my nice list.
  24. You make me more excited than seeing gifts under a Christmas tree.
  25. If you wake up in a box tomorrow morning, it’s cause I asked for the sexiest person in the world for Christmas.
  26. How about you show me peace on earth, and I’ll show you goodwill toward men?
  27. I’ll definitely let you join in my reindeer games.
  28. Call me Rudolph, because you just sleighed me!
  29. Unlike the snow, I promise I won’t flake on you.
  30. Do you want to make a Christmas jingle with me, or are you single all the way?

Dirty Christmas Pick-Up Lines

  1. Wanna Scrooge?
  2. In the words of Jack Skellington, “I am the best, for my talents are renowned far and wide.” Wanna see for yourself?
  3. Are you looking for a tree topper? Because I’ve been told I’m a star on top.
  4. I’ve checked twice, and I’m sure you’re on my naughty list.
  5. I have the stamina of a jolly, round man — I can go all night long.
  6. Let’s pretend to be presents and get laid under the tree.
  7. The milk and cookies at my place taste good for breakfast, too.
  8. I could work with the elves in the ribbon-tying department because I’m a pretty knotty girl.
  9. That’s not a candy cane in my pocket. I’m just glad to see you!
  10. Are you tinsel? Because I want you all over my tree.
  11. I just got some mistletoe; how about we go back to my place and try it out?
  12. Let’s both be naughty this year and save Santa the trip.
  13. Come sit on my lap. I’ve got a special gift just for you.
  14. Ever do it in a sleigh?
  15. I like milk and cookies, but I would rather have you.
  16. Wanna sit on the North Pole tonight?
  17. Santa’s lap isn’t the only place wishes come true.
  18. Screw the nice list; I’ve got you on my nice and naughty list!
  19. Is your name Jingle Bells? ‘Cause you look like you go all the way.
  20. Wanna meet Santa’s little helper?
  21. I don’t care if I’m on your naughty list or your nice list; I just want to be on your to-do list.
  22. Girl, if you come to my house on Black Friday, all clothes will be 100 percent off.
  23. You looking to get fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-laid?
  24. Let me help you out of that ugly sweater.
  25. Did you ask Santa for a rhino this Christmas? Because it looks like you could use something horny.
  26. What do you say we make this a Not-So-Silent Night?
  27. The only package I want this Christmas is yours.
  28. Good tidings aren’t the only thing I can give you.
  29. Can I introduce you to my red-nosed reindeer?
  30. That Christmas tree isn’t the only thing that’s going to have an angel on top of it.
  31. I might be a Grinch, but that just means I’ve got something that’ll grow three sizes.
  32. Are you Adam Sandler? Because I’m ready to give you eight crazy nights.
  33. I want to fill you up with my holiday spirit.
  34. Unlike Santa, I’ll bring over some toys if you want to get naughty.
  35. Want to climb into my warm and fuzzy cloak?
  36. You’d be the first gift I’d unwrap Christmas morning.
  37. I like my Christmas stockings held up by garter belts.
  38. Of all the magnetic poles in the world, you had to walk into mine.
  39. I’m not Santa, but do you want to sit on my lap and tell me what you want this Christmas?
  40. How about I shimmy down your chimney tonight?
  41. If your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, can I come visit you between the holidays?
  42. I want to be the elf on your shelf.
  43. My bedroom is the warmest place for 500 miles. Looks like we have to head there if we want to stay warm.
  44. I’d like to sit on your yule log tonight.
  45. Santa: “Wanna sit on my lap and discuss the first thing that comes up?”
  46. Have you met Candice? *Candice who?* Can dis Santa slide down your chimney tonight?
  47. I’m gonna make you glisten like the snow.
  48. You know what elves and I have in common? We’re both good with our hands.
  49. I’ve got a one-way ticket to the naughty list if you’re interested.
  50. I’ll leave milk and cookies out for Santa, but your late-night snack is me.

This article was originally published on