Easter can be a pretty whimsical but sometimes brutal holiday. I mean, have you ever seen an Easter Egg hunt? There should be an EMS vehicle parked nearby. Maybe after Sally knocks Tommy over in an overzealous brawl for the orange plastic Easter egg, you can comfort him with some of these clean, kid-friendly Easter jokes and cheeky puns. And some chocolate, of course.
1. What do you call the Easter Bunny the day after Easter?
2. What does the Easter Bunny plant next to the green beans in his garden?
3. What do you get if you cross Winnie the Pooh and the Easter Bunny?
A honey bunny.
4. What proof is there that carrots are good for the eyes?
You don’t see rabbits wearing eyeglasses
5. Where does the Easter Bunny get all of the eggs he hides?
He gets them from an eggplant.
6. What kind of jewelry does the Easter Bunny wear?
14 carrot gold.
7. What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams?
They lived hoppily ever after.
8. How does the Easter Bunny stay fit?
9. What do you call a rabbit that tells good jokes?
A funny bunny.
10. Why shouldn’t you tell an Easter Egg a joke?
Because it might crack up.
11. How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been?
Eggs mark the spot.
12. What is the best way to send a letter to the Easter Bunny?
13. What do you call a rabbit with the sniffles?
A runny bunny.
14. Why does Peter Cottontail hop down the bunny trail?
He’s too young to drive.
15. How do you know the Easter Bunny liked his trip?
He said it was egg-cellent.
16. How does a rabbit throw a tantrum?
He gets hopping mad.
17. How does the Easter Bunny paint all those Easter Eggs?
He hires Santa’s elves to help during their offseason.
18. What is the Easter Bunny’s favorite dance?
The bunny hop.
19. Why is the letter A like a flower?
A bee comes after it.
20. What did the Easter Bunny do after its wedding?
Went on a nice bunnymoon.
21. Where did the Easter Bunny learn how to ski?
The bunny hill.
22. How does the Easter Bunny travel on vacation?
On hare planes.
23. What do you call a rabbit comedian?
A funny bunny.
24. How do rabbits stay cool during the summer?
With hare conditioning.
25. What do you call a forgetful rabbit?
26. Which side of the Easter Bunny has the most fur?
27. What do you say to the Easter Bunny on his birthday?
28. Where did the Easter Bunny go for a new tail?
To a retail store.
29. What game does the Easter Bunny like to play at the park?
30. What did the Easter Bunny put a dictionary in his pants?
He wanted to be a smarty pants.
31. What do you get when you cross Dumbo with the Easter Bunny?
An elephant who always remembers to eat all of his carrots.
32. How does the Easter Bunny keep his fur from getting messed up?
He uses lots of hare spray.
33. What does the Easter Bunny do when he gets out of the shower?
He uses a hare dryer.
34. What do you call the Easter Bunny when he has fleas?
35. What did one Easter egg say to the other Easter egg?
“Want to hear a funny yolk?”
36. How does the Easter Bunny’s day always end?
With a Y.
37. Why make the Easter Bunny so lucky?
He always has four rabbit’s feet on him.
38. Why was the Easter Bunny so upset when he looked in the mirror?
He was having a bad hare day.
39. How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group?
Just look for the gray hares.
40. What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hareline.
41. Why did the rabbit cross the road?
Because the chicken had his Easter eggs.
42. Where do Easter bunnies dance?
At the basketball.
43. Where does the Easter bunny eat breakfast?
44. What kind of stories do rabbits like best?
Ones with hoppy endings.
45. What kind of music do bunnies like?
46. What does a bunny rabbit do in the rain?
47. Why don’t you see dinosaurs at Easter?
Because they are eggs-tinct.
48. What do ducks have for lunch?
Soup and quackers.
49. How does Easter end?
With an R.
50. What type of movie is about waterfowl?
51. What do you call an Easter Egg from Outer space?
52. What day does an Easter egg hate the most?
53. Where does Dracula keep his Easter candy?
In his Easter casket.
54. What do you call the Easter Bunny on the day after Easter?
55. Why is the Easter Bunny so smart?
He’s an egghead.
56. What happened to the Easter Bunny when he was naughty at school?
He was eggs-pelled.
57. Why did the Easter Bunny have to fire the duck?
He kept quacking the eggs.
58. How do bunnies stay in shape?
59. Why can’t a rabbit’s nose be 12-inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
60. Why did the Easter Bunny cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
61. What did one egg say to the other?
“Heard any good yolks lately?”
62. What do you get when you cross a bunny with an onion?
63. Why couldn’t the rabbit fly home for Easter?
He didn’t have the hare fare.
64. Why did the Easter Bunny cross the road?
Because the chicken had his Easter eggs.
65. What did the rabbit say to the carrot?
“It’s been nice gnawing you.”
66. Why did the Easter egg hide?
He was a little chicken.
67. How does an Easter chicken bake a cake?
68. Why are people always tired in April?
Because they’ve just finished a March.
69. What kind of stories are the Easter Bunny’s favorite?
70. What do you get when you cross a bumblebee with the Easter bunny?
A honey bunny.
71. Knock, knock.
The Easter Bunny.
72. Knock, knock.
Moira chocolate bunnies, please.
73. Knock, knock.
Howie gonna get all the Easter eggs?
74. Knock, knock.
Arthur any more eggs to decorate?
75. Knock, knock!
Don’t cry — the Easter Bunny will come back next year!
76. Knock, knock.
Dewey have to listen to any more ether bunny jokes?
77. Knock, knock.
Donna want to decorate some eggs?
78. Knock, knock.
Esther Easter Bunny coming?
79. Knock, knock.
Heidi the eggs around the house.
80. Knock, knock.
Justin time to do the Bunny Hop.
81. Knock, knock.
Some bunny who?
Some bunny has been eating my carrots.
82. Knock, knock.
Egg-cited to see me?
83. Knock, knock.
Howard you like to find an Easter egg?
84. Knock, knock.
Alma Easter eggs are gone. Can I have one of yours?
85. Knock, knock.
Sherwood like to have an Easter basket.
86. Knock, knock.
Carrie my Easter basket, please! It’s too heavy.
87. Who’s there?
Donut forget to say Happy Easter!
88. Who’s there?
Hans off my Easter candy!
89. Who’s there?
Tommy aches from eating too many Easter jelly beans.
90. What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an oyster?
The oyster bunny.
91. Why do we paint Easter eggs?
Because it’s easier than wallpapering them.
92. Why couldn’t the Easter egg family watch TV?
Their cable was scrambled.
93. What do you call a mischievous egg?
A practical yolker.
94. What’s pink, has five toes, and is carried by the Easter Bunny?
His lucky people’s foot.
95. What is the Easter Bunny’s favorite state capital?
Albunny, New York.
96. What do you need if your chocolate eggs mysteriously disappear?
97. Why was the father Easter egg so strict?
He was hard-boiled.
98. What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with a famous French general?
99. Did you hear about the Easter Bunny who sat on a bumblebee?
It’s a tender tail!
100. What did the Easter egg ask for at the hair salon?
A new dye-job.
101. Did you hear about the house infested with Easter eggs?
It needed an eggs-terminator!