Looking for some simply rawr-some jokes and puns to share with the T-rex or stegosaurus enthusiasts in your life? Mama, you know we’ve got your back. Because dinosaurs are so wildly popular with kids (and many adults — we see you, Ross Geller!), there’s a whole world of hysterical Jurassic jokes out there. Of course, dinosaur jokes aren’t the only thing we have to offer our dino-lovers. There are also dinosaur crafts and a great collection of dinosaur books, and movies.
To think massive scaly creatures roamed the earth billions of years ago is pretty insane when you think about it. There are about 700 known species of dinosaurs. Fun Fact: Today the closest thing we have to dinos are birds (crazy right?) Over time theropods, a meat-eating, two-legged dino, shrunk down to modern-day birds. It doesn’t get any funnier than that! So what more could your little prehysteric dino fan want? “Get to the dinosaur jokes, already!”
Dangerously Good Dinosaur Jokes Part 1
1. How do you invite a dinosaur to a cafe?
2. What do you call a dinosaur wearing a cowboy hat and boots?
3. Why did the Archaeopteryx catch the worm?
Because it was an early bird!
4. Where do dinosaurs go shopping?
5. What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use?
A dino-saw !
6. What do you call a T.Rex who hates losing?
A saur loser.
7. What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
8. What do you call twin dinosaurs?
9. What do you call a dinosaur who has left its armor out in the rain?
10. What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
11. Why can’t you hear a Pterodactyl when it goes to the toilet?
Because the pee is silent!
12. Do you think anything could tricera-top these dinosaur puns?
I dino what to tell you, but probably not.
13. What do you call a dinosaur car accident?
A tyrannosaurus wreck!
14. What’s a dinosaur’s favorite drink?
Rex on the beach!
15. What do you call a group of dinosaurs who sing?
16. What do you call a baby dinosaur?
17. What do you call a dinosaur after they break-up with their girlfriend?
18. What do you call a smelly dinosaur fart?
19. What do you get if you cross a T- rex with explosives?
20. What do you call a dinosaur ghost?
21. What do you call a short spiky dinosaur that’s fallen down the stairs?
22. What did the dinosaur say to the cashier at the till?
Keep the climate change.
23. What’s a child’s favorite dinosaur?
24. What do you call a dinosaur after a breakup?
25. What’s a dinosaur’s favorite quote?
“Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures!”
26. Why do museums exhibit old dinosaur bones?
Because they can’t afford new ones!
27. What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
28. What do you call a dog that belongs to a dinosaur with one eye?
A Do-you-think-he-saurus rex.
29. Which is the scariest dinosaur?
30. Why did the Tyrannosaurus Rex cross the road?
Because the chickens hadn’t evolved yet.
31. What do you call a dinosaur that knows a lot of words?
32. How do you know that a seismosaurus is under your bed?
Because your nose is only two inches from the ceiling!
33. What do you call an anxious dino?
A nervous Rex.
34. What do you call a dinosaur who is a noisy sleeper?
35. What is the best way to talk to a velociraptor?
36. How can you tell if there’s an allosaurus lying in your bed?
You’ll see the bright red “A” on its pajamas.
37. What do you call a dinosaur that won’t stop talking?
38. What did the dinosaur call her blouse business?
Try Sara’s Tops!
39. What did dinosaurs use to drive their cars?
40. Can a crappy dinosaur joke get a laugh?
You bet Jurassican.
Dangerously Good Dinosaur Jokes Part 2
41. How do you know if there is a dinosaur in your fridge?
The door won’t shut!
42. What dinosaur would Harry Potter be?
43. What’s the best way to raise a baby dinosaur?
With a crane.
44. Why was the stegosaurus such a good volleyball player?
He could really spike the ball!
45. What does a triceratops sit on?
46. What’s the best thing to do if you see a tyrannosaurus rex?
Pray that it doesn’t see you.
47. What do you call a paleontologist who sleeps all the time?
48. What’s the nickname for someone who put their right hand in the mouth of a T-Rex?
49. What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes?
50. What is a dinosaur’s least favorite reindeer?
51. Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory?
Because she was a plant-eater
52. Why did T-Rex’s girlfriend break up with him?
Because he said he only loved her “this much” (with his tiny arms spread wide).
53. What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo?
54. What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with fireworks?
55. What do you call a polite Dinosaur?
56. What was T. rex’s favorite number?
57. Receptionist: Doctor, there’s an invisible dinosaur in the waiting room.
Doctor: Tell her I can’t see her!
58. What dinosaur can’t you hear go to the bathroom?
All of them, they’re all dead.
59. How did the cavemen survive the asteroid that killed all the dinosaurs?
Social distancing, they stayed 56 million years apart.
60. What do you call a dinosaur that asks a lot of deep questions?
61. Three dinosaurs stumble across a magic lamp.
They rub it, and a genie appears. “I have three wishes, so I’ll give one to each of you,” the genie announces. The first dinosaur thinks hard. “Alright,” he says, “I’ll have a big, juicy, piece of meat.” Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he’d ever seen appears in front of him. Not to be outdone, the second dinosaur thinks even harder. “I know! I’ll have a shower of meat!” Immediately, huge pieces of meat rain down around him. The third dinosaur, certainly not to be outdone, thinks even harder than the previous dinosaurs. “I’ve got it!” he cries, “I want a MEATIER shower!”
62. What would happen if a 100-ton Brachiosaurus stepped on you?
You’d be deeply impressed.
63. How do you know if there’s a stegosaurus in your refrigerator?
The door won’t close.
64. Which dinosaur had to wear glasses?
65. Who does a dinosaur call when he’s being robbed?
66. What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed?
Find somewhere else to sleep!
67. What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A diplodocus with a sore throat.
68. What dinosaur would Harry Potter be?
69. What do you call it when a dinosaur gets a touchdown?
70. What’s the best way to talk to a velociraptor?
71. What is a velociraptor’s favorite place to eat?
72. How did the dinosaur feel after its nap?
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