Got a kid into going through an alligator phase? Do they end every phone call to grandma and grandpa with a “See you later, alligator”? Encourage your little one’s new interest with some funnies in the form of alligator puns and jokes!
There’s just something about alligators and crocodiles that make the best jokes. It’s not like they’re the funniest animal in the kingdom. They’re actually pretty dangerous and terrifying. But they’re also the closest thing we have to dinosaurs, and they’re apex predators that also enjoy fruits. (How cool is that?) And speaking of food, some say they even taste like chicken. Alligators and crocodiles are definitely some of the more unique animals, so we totally get why your kid is obsessed.
Luckily for you, we’ve gone ahead and rounded up the cutest alligator jokes, puns, and one-liners we could find. We even threw in some hilarious crocodile jokes in there for good measure. And remember to always respond with, “In a while, crocodile!”
1. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator! 2. What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind? A tail-gater. 3. Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet? But most of them only have four! 4. Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers? It’s filled with liti-gators. 5. What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while. 6. Alligators can live up to 100 years… Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later. 7. What happens when an alligator drives a boat? He becomes a navigator. 8. Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas? Santa Jaws! 9. Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers? Professional courtesy! 10. If an alligator lives in a river and thinks he’s a crocodile, there’s a good chance he’s in da-nile! 11. What’s the difference between a dog and a gator? A dog’s bark is worse than its bite. 12. What do you call a SWAT team of alligators? Gator-raid. 13. What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner? Two crocodiles coming to dinner. 14. What do you call a reptile that works on a farm? An irri-gator. 15. Why don’t alligators watch movies? Because they live in swamps. 16. What do dehydrated alligators drink? Gatorade. 17. Why don’t crocodiles like fast food? Because they can’t catch it! 18. What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl? An alley-gator! 19. What came first, the alligator or the crocodile? The dinosaur. 20. What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way? “Please move, I need to get bayou.” 21. What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist? A dialogator. 22. A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts, “Hey, are you a caiman?” The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!” 23. If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.” It’s in the bye laws. 24. A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator… He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?” “Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender. The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.” 25. What do alligators and Windows have in common? Neither of them has enough bytes! 26. What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower? I don’t know, but I will not smell it! 27. Why are alligator comedians so funny? Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth! 28. What do alligators call human children? Appetizers. 29. What do you call an alligator that makes others fight? An instigator. 30. What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat? A jawbreaker. 31. One day, a very rich man announced at a party that if any person dared to swim across the swimming pool, which had more than 20 crocodiles, he would award them with either half of his property or his beautiful daughter. After a period of silence, the rich man saw a young man splashing in the pool, swimming as fast as he could, with all his efforts, saving himself from the crocodiles. And at last, he survived through the pool. Everybody started clapping. The young man’s bravery overjoyed the rich man. He congratulated him and then asked, “What do you want — my property or daughter?” The young man replied, “Sir, I want neither your property nor your daughter. I just want the man who threw me in the water.” 32. What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language? Jaw-va. 33. Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator? He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it. 34. What does an alligator do when he loses his tail? It goes to a re-tail store. 35. What’s an alligator’s favorite dip? Croc-amole.
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