Deerly beloveds, we are gathered here today to… make you laugh! The internet is a wild and wonderful place. One of our favorite things the web provides for us is jokes. Jokes upon jokes upon jokes. Whatever animal you love, from cows to pigs, there are jokes about them. Need some good hunting season laughs? These deer puns are perfect for deer season, but we have duck season covered, too. Maybe you’re more of a fisherman? Yeah, we have jokes about fishing, too. Of course. You have a need. The internet doth provide.
Deer are pretty majestic creatures. They’re tall and regal, stealthy and impressively strong. And if they’re reindeer? Well, we don’t have to tell you how truly magical reindeer are, do we? You don’t see goats or camels recruited for the North Pole. (And let’s not forget that the reindeer pulling Santa Claus’ sleigh are female.)
Whether you celebrate Christmas and really dig Rudolph or are just really into deer season, these deer puns and jokes are for you.
Best Deer Puns and Jokes
- What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want — he can’t hear you.
- What do you call a deer with no eyes?
- Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
- What do teenagers do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
- If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
- Who did Bambi invite to his birthday party?
His nearest and deer-est friends.
- Who puts money under the deer’s pillow?
The hoof fairy.
- What did Homer Simpson say when he ran over a deer?
- What do deers call hunters?
- What’s a buck’s least favorite type of bread?
- How do you see a deer behind you?
- What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
- A baby deer has been hanging around my house lately.
I’m quite fawned of it.
- Hey, has anyone seen the new deer burgers they sell at Walmart?
I heard they only cost a buck.
- How do you compliment a deer?
Fawn over her.
- What do you call a deer with a doctorate degree?
A hart surgeon.
- What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
- How do deer clean their feet?
- Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
- What do deer read?
- Which side of a deer has the best meat?
- I traded a deer for some chickens.
Overall, it was a good deal. It only cost me a buck.
- What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
- What’s a deer’s favorite game?
- What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
- What do you call deer in outer space?
- What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
- Did you hear about the nice deer?
She had a hart of gold.
- How do you save a deer during hunting season?
You hang on for deer life.
- I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
- What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck.
- Three dummies were walking on a path, and the first one said, “Hey, look — there are deer tracks!”
The second one said, “No way, those are totally duck tracks.”
Then the third one said, “Nuh-uh those are—”
Then they all got hit by a train.
- I’ve opened a deer cloning service.
It’s for anyone hoping to make a quick buck.
- Deer customer,
You are a deer. Please get out of here. You’re spreading your ticks everywhere. Thank you.
- What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
- What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
Reindeer Puns and Jokes
- What do reindeer say to their kids?
“I love you deerly.”
- Who laughed and called Rudolph names?
Olive, the other reindeer.
- What do you call Santa’s most impolite reindeer?
- How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About eight bucks, nine during bad weather.
- What street in France do reindeer live on?
- What would a reindeer do if it lost its tail?
Go to a retail shop for a new one.
- Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was ‘elf’ taught.
- Why is Mrs. Claus always hugging the reindeer?
They are so deer to her.
- Who is a reindeer’s favorite celebrity?
- What is Rudolph’s favorite day of the year?
Red Nose Day.
- What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
- What’s a dinosaur’s least favorite reindeer?
- How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh and reindeer?
Nothing; it’s on the house!
- Why doesn’t Santa use reindeer milk in his morning coffee?
He’s on a non-deery diet.
- Where do reindeer like to stop for lunch?
- Which Elton John song describes one of Santa’s small reindeer perfectly?
- What do reindeer say every time they take a picture on a housetop?
“Click, click, click.”
- What do you call Santa’s reindeer wranglers?
- Does everyone in the North Pole think Santa’s reindeer are a great team?
Yep, that’s what they’ve herd.