25+ Emperor’s New Groove Quotes That'll Make You Say 'Bring It On!'

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Emperor's New Groove Quotes
Walt Disney Pictures/Buena Vista Pictures

The Emperor’s New Groove is one of those early 2000 Disney films that still holds up today. Need a quick refresher? The dry-humored David Spade stars as Emperor Kuzco, who is hilariously turned into a llama — of all animals! — by his ex-administrator Yzma (played by Eartha Kitt). He joins a gentle llama herder named Pacha (the always brilliant John Goodman) to help him regain his throne. Patrick Warburton also appears as Kronk, a dim-witted, muscular, but timid henchman of Yzma, while Wendie Malick plays Pacha’s loyal wife, Chicha. Like many Disney movies, this gem is filled with iconic lines. In fact, the best Emperor’s New Groove quotes are so clever, silly, and, well, quotable that they’re among our favorite Disney quotes.

They’re just instantly recognizable. So, if you’re looking for some LOLs, you’ll definitely want to check out these llam-azing Emperor’s New Groove quotes, lines, and convos. Here are some that we still routinely cite.

Looking for more magical quotes from Disney? We have lines from Tangled, Princess and the Frog, Beauty and the Beast, and more.

Walt Disney Pictures/Buena Vista Pictures

Best Emperor’s New Groove Quotes

  1. “Ah, how shall I do it? Oh, I know. I’ll turn him into a flea, a harmless, little flea, and then I’ll put that flea in a box, and then I’ll put that box inside of another box, and then I’ll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives, I’ll smash it with a hammer! It’s brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, I tell you! Genius, I say!” — Yzma
  2. Pacha: “I thought you were a changed man.”

Kuzco: “Come on, I had to say something to get you to take me back to the palace.” Pacha: “So all of it was a lie?”

  1. “This is Yzma, the emperor’s advisor. Living proof that dinosaurs once roamed the Earth.” — Kuzco
  2. Pacha: “We’re on our honeymoon.”

Server: “Bless you for coming out in public.”

  1. “I gotta go wash something.” — Chicha
  2. “You know, it’s a good thing you’re not a big fat guy or this would be really difficult.” — Kuzco
  3. Yzma: “And so, it is with great sadness that we mourn the sudden departure of our beloved prince, taken from us so tragically on the very eve of his 18th birthday.”

Kronk: “Poor little guy.” Yzma: “His legacy will live in our hearts…” Kronk: “He never had a chance.” Yzma: “For all eternity. Well, he ain’t getting any deader. Back to work.”

  1. “Our moment of triumph approaches! Haha haha ha! It’s dinnertime!” — Yzma
  2. Yzma: “What?! A llama?! He’s supposed to be dead!”

Kronk: “Yeah, weird.” Yzma: “Let me see that vial.” Yzma: “This isn’t poison! This is extract of llama! Oooh.” Kronk: “You know, in my defense, your poisons all look alike. You might think about relabeling some of them.”

  1. Kronk: “Oh! Yzma! Yzma’s in your chair!”

Kuzko: “Very good, Kronk! (holds up dog treat) Get the snack! Get the snack!”

  1. “Whoa! Look at those wrinkles. What is holding this woman together?” — Kuzco
  2. Yzma: “Why, I practically raised him.”

Kronk: “Yeah, you’d think he would’ve turned out better.” Yzma: “Yeah, go figure.”

  1. “That is the last time we take directions from a squirrel.” — Yzma
  2. “OK, everybody. Move aside. Lady with a baby comin’ through.” — Chicha
  3. Kuzco: “Wait a minute. I remember you. I remember telling you that I was building my pool where your house was, and then you got mad at me. Oh! And you turned me into a llama!”

Pacha: “What? No, I did not.” Kuzco: “Yes, and then you kidnapped me!” Pacha: “Why would I kidnap a llama?” Kuzco: “I have no idea. You’re the criminal mastermind, not me.” Pacha: “What?” Kuzco: “You’re right. That’s giving you way too much credit.”

  1. “Or to save on postage, I’ll just poison him with this!” — Yzma
  2. Pacha: “We shook hands on it!”

Kuzko: “You know, the funny thing about shaking hands is you need hands.”

  1. Pacha: “What happened?”

Old Man: “Well, I threw off the Emperor’s groove.” Pacha: “What?” Old Man: “His groove! The rhythm in which he lives his life. His pattern of behavior. I threw it off. And the Emperor had me thrown out the window.” Pacha: “Oh, really? I’m supposed to see him today.” Old Man: “Don’t throw off his groove!” Pacha: “Oh, OK.” Old Man: “Beware, the groove.” Pacha: “Hey, are you gonna be all right?” Old Man: “Groove…”

  1. Yzma: “Pull the lever, Kronk!”

Kronk: (pulls lever) Yzma: “Wrong leveeeeerrrrr!”

  1. Pacha: “Uh oh.”

Kuzko: “Don’t tell me. We’re about to go over a huge waterfall.” Pacha: “Yep.” Kuzko: “Sharp rocks at the bottom?” Pacha: “Most likely.” Kuzko: “Bring it on.”

  1. Yzma: “Take him out and finish the job now!”

Kronk: “What about dinner?” Yzma: “Kronk, this is kind of important.” Kronk: “How about dessert?” Yzma: “Well, I suppose there’s time for dessert.” Kronk: “And coffee?” Yzma: “All right. A quick cup of coffee. Then take him out and finish the job!”

  1. Yzma: “Kronk, knock the door down!”

Kronk: “Are you kidding? This is hand carved mahogany.”

  1. “Um, what’s with the chimp and the bug? Can we get back to me?” — Kuzco
  2. Pacha: “Where’d you come from, little guy?”

Kuzco: “No touchy.” Pacha: “Demon llama!” Kuzco: “Demon llama? Where?” Kuzco: “Aaah!”

  1. “Let’s take a look-see. Hate your hair. Not likely. Yikes. Yikes. Yikes. And, let me guess, you have a great personality.” — Kuzco
  2. Kuzco: “Okay, I admit it. Maybe I wasn’t as nice as I should have been. But, Yzma, do you really want to kill me?”

Yzma: “Just think of it as you’re being let go. That your life’s going in a different direction. That your body’s part of a permanent outplacement.” Kronk: “Hey, that’s kinda like what he said to you when you got fired.” Yzma: “I know. It’s called a ‘cruel irony’, like my dependence on you.”

  1. “Oh, it’s not the first time I was tossed out of a window, and it won’t be the last. What can I say? I’m a rebel.” — Old Man
  2. “Yeah. You said when the sun hits this ridge just right, these hills sing. Well, pal, I was dragged all over those hills, and I did not hear any singing.” — Kuzco
  3. (Throws acorn at an adorable squirrel) “Hit the road, Bucky!” — Kuzko
  4. (Explaining the plan to his wife) “So, we have to get him back to the palace, find the lab and change him back.” — Pacha

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