100+ Jokes About School That Are Definitely For The Cool Kids

by Team Scary Mommy
Originally Published: 
school jokes
SDI Productions/ Getty Images

Being back in school is no laughing matter for a number of students, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun and laugh a little. After all, school shouldn’t be as serious as math and science — at least not all the time. That’s especially true now during the pandemic as most students (and their parents!) across the country learn how to navigate remote learning, Zoom classes, and social distance when they’re around classmates. Difficult moments like this call for extra humor to get us through the day, which is why we rounded up some of the funniest school jokes and back-to-school quips.

Institutions of learning can be incredibly stressful places, so it’s important to manage anxiety in healthy ways. Cracking a joke during class every now and then is a great start! Sometimes we take ourselves too seriously, but these funnies will help you take a step back and smell the roses. Of course, it’s important to work hard in your academics, but it’s equally necessary to take breaks and have fun. We have the perfect list of funnies to bust out during your next study session. School is hard enough, so you might as well have a little fun.

Head back into the classroom (virtual or otherwise) with these bad boys, and not only will your peers crown you the Class Clown, but you’ll even get the teacher laughing too.

  1. What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!

  1. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?

Lots of blood tests!

  1. Which building has the most stories?


  1. What do you call a square that’s been in an accident?

A WRECKtangle.

  1. What’s bigger when it’s upside down?

A. A 6!

  1. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?

“You can count on me!”

  1. What tools do you need for math?


  1. What did the student say to the math worksheet?

I’m not a therapist, solve your own problems!

  1. What do you need to go to high school?

A ladder.

  1. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?

Because she had the perfect pitch.

  1. Why did the girl take a ladder to school?

Because she thought it was a high school.

  1. Why is arithmetic hard work?

All those numerals you have to carry.

  1. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?

I wouldn’t do it, principals don’t like to be crossed!

  1. Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?

To stay in shape!

  1. How many letters are in the alphabet?

11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

  1. What object is king of the classroom?

The ruler!

  1. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?

The alpha-BAT.

  1. Why did the snake get a detention?

Because he was HISSpering!

  1. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?

Smartie Pants!

  1. Why did the teacher go to the beach?

To test the water.

  1. How do bees get to school?

By school buzz…

  1. How do the fish get to school?

By octobus!

  1. What does a gorilla learns in school?

His Ape B C’s.

  1. What does a snake learn in school?

Hiss tory.

  1. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?

It’s not right.

  1. Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year?

Student: 12! January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd…

  1. What did the glue say to the teacher?

“I’m stuck on you.”

  1. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?

Because his keys were on the piano.

  1. What did the ghost teacher say to his class?

Look at the board and I’ll go through it again!”

  1. Why did the students study in the airplane?

Because they wanted higher grades.

  1. Why doesn’t the sun go to college?

Because it has a million degrees!

  1. Why did the jellybean go to school?

To become a smartie!

  1. What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?


  1. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?

Smartie Pants!

  1. Why did the teacher draw on the window?

Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!

  1. Why did 6 hate 7?

7 8 9.

  1. What did the math book say to the other math book?

“I’ve got problems.”

  1. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?

“You can count on me!”

  1. Why didn’t the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?

Because he didn’t want anything to slip his mind.

  1. Why did the boy eat his homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.

  1. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?

When it is read!

  1. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?

Times Square.

  1. What’s the best place to grow flowers in school?

In kindergarden.

  1. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?

They had a class trip!

  1. What’s the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?

Getting lost.

  1. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?

Because his students were so bright!

  1. Where do monsters study?

In ghoul school.

  1. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the prom?

Cause he had no body to go with.

  1. Where did the spider find his prom date?

On the World Wide Web.

  1. What do you get when you cross an algebra class with the prom?

The quadratic formal.

SDI Productions/ Getty Images

  1. Why did the girl turn down the invisible man?

Cause she just couldn’t see going to prom with him!

  1. Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?

His ghoul friend.

  1. Why did the Orange take a Prune to prom?

Because he couldn’t find a Date!

  1. What did the shark say to the marlin at prom?

Lookin’ Sharp.

  1. Where do lightning bolts go to for prom?

To cloud 9.

  1. Do you know what my prom dates suit is made out of?

Boyfriend Material.

  1. Where do cows go before prom?

To the moooooovies.

  1. What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A one molar solution.

  1. How do Sulfur and Oxygen communicate?

A sulfone

  1. What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?


  1. Why did the noble gas cry?

Because all his friends argon.

  1. Why did the acid go to the gym?

To become a buffer solution!

  1. Why can you never trust atoms?

They make up everything!

  1. What did the fishing rod say to the boat?

Canoe help me with my homework?

  1. What did the dog say to his classmate?

“Can I copy your homework, I ate mine.”

  1. What did the cheerleader say when she was given more homework?

Bring It On.

  1. Why don’t fish need to do homework?

Because they’re always swimming in schools.

  1. Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?

Because there were so many knights!

  1. What kind of tea did the American colonists want?


  1. Why did Arthur have a round table?

So no one could corner him !

  1. Why didn’t Socrates like the French fries?

Because they were made in ancient Greece.

  1. What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?

It can’t sit down.

  1. Why don’t you see giraffes in elementary school?

Because they’re all in High School!

  1. Why didn’t the teenager go to the pirate movie?

Because it was rated arrrrr.

  1. What do you call the leader of an AP biology gang?

The Nucleus

  1. Name a bus you can never enter?

A syllabus.

  1. What do you call a friendly school?

Hi School !

  1. Why did the teacher marry the janitor?

Because he swept her off her feet!

  1. If the pilgrims came on the Mayflower then what does the teacher come on?

The scholar ships.

  1. Why did nose not want to go to school?

He was tired of getting picked on!

  1. How do you get straight A’s?

By using a ruler!

  1. What did the pen say to the pencil?

So, what’s your point!

  1. What do elves learn in school?

The elf-abet!

  1. What did you learn in school today?

Not enough, I have to go back tomorrow!

  1. What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?


  1. What vegetables to librarians like?

Quiet peas.

  1. Why did the clock in the cafeteria run slow?

It always went back four seconds.

  1. Where do people learn to make ice cream?

In sundae school.

  1. Why did the knight run around shouting for a can opener?

He had a bee in his suit of armour.

  1. What was Camelot?

A place where people parked their camels

  1. When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?

Because there are no pupils to see.

  1. How did Vikings communicate?

By norse code.

  1. What is a forum?

Two-um plus two-um.

  1. What is a teacher’s three favorite words?

June, July & August.

  1. What room can a student never enter?

A Mushroom.

  1. What letter is found in a cup?


  1. What is white when its dirty and black when its clean?

A blackboard.

  1. What school supply is always tired?

A knapsack.

  1. What do mathematicians eat on Halloween?

Pumpkin Pi.

  1. Why did the girl wear glasses during math class?

Because it improves di-vison.

  1. What kind of meals do math teachers eat?

Square meals

  1. Why did the student do multiplication problems on the floor?

The teacher told him not to use tables.

  1. What did the math book say to the history book?

You know you can count on me.

  1. What is a math teacher’s favorite season?


  1. What U.S. state has the most math teachers?


  1. Why was the geometry book so adorable?

Because it had acute angles.

  1. What did the calculator say to the girl on the first day of school?

Pick me and I’ll solve all your problems!

  1. How can you make the first day of school fly by?

Throw a clock!

  1. Where did the sheep say they went for summer vacation?

The Baa-hamas

  1. Knock, knock

Who’s there? Justin Justin who? Just in time for the first day of school.

  1. Knock Knock

Who’s there? Noah Noah who? Noah more summer – it’s time for school!

  1. What did you learn in school today, son?Not enough, dad. I have to go back tomorrow.
  2. Knock, Knock

Who is there?Teddy!Teddy who?Teddy (today) is the first day of school!

  1. What food do math teachers eat?Square meals!
  2. Why are you late for class, Sally?Because of the sign on the road?
  3. Knock, Knock!Who’s there?Jess!Jess Who?Jess (just) wait till I tell you about my first day back to school!
  4. Why didn’t the sun go to college?Because it already had a million degrees!

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