Is there anything better than potatoes? You can eat them mashed or roasted. They come in fry form and the tot variety. Nearly every country, from Ireland and Mexico to Puerto Rico and beyond, has a beloved potato dish. There’s another bonus to potatoes beyond their deliciousness, too. They’re actually pretty silly and funny, adding to the plethora of food puns and funnies out there. From the way they sound to the way they grow and look, potatoes are weird and wonderful veggies (or are they starches?). That makes them the perfect subject for jokes and puns. If you look below, you’ll find some of our favorite spudder-inducing, tot-es funny potato jokes, and puns. That’s right, y’all. We’re roasting the potato. (Get it?! Roasting!)
If you read through these and need even more jokes, we get it. And we’re here to help. We have jokes about everyone’s favorite animals: From pig jokes to cow jokes and giraffe and owl puns. There are also jokes covering a magnitude of seasons (like autumn jokes) and weather. And, if you’re feeling merry and bright? We have Christmas jokes galore. (And dirty Christmas jokes, too.) You get the gist, we have the genre of all things silly and funny covered.
- What’s a potato’s favorite horror movie?
The Silence of the Yams.
- Which disease is the biggest killer of potatoes?
- What do you get when you put an elephant and a load of potatoes together?
- Who is the most powerful potato?
- Why was the potato taken to a psychiatric hospital?
It was starch raving mad.
- I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories.
I was impressed, but to her, it was just small potatoes.
- Why shouldn’t you give a zombie mashed potatoes?
Because they’re already a little grave-y.
- What do you call a yam with a broom?
A sweep potato.
- What do you call a stolen yam?
A hot potato.
- Why did the potato cross the road?
He saw a fork up ahead.
- How does a potato win at Street Fighter?
By mashing the kick button.
- What do you get when you cross a tater with a race car?
- What does a potato say on a sunny morning?
What a mashing day!
- I yam always very happy…
to eat sweet potatoes.
- What do you say to a baked potato that’s angry?
Anything you like, just butter it up
- What’s a potato’s favorite TV show?
- What do you call a chip with glasses?
- What do you call a lazy spud?
A couch potato.
- What do you call a lethargic baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
- What do you call a good-looking french fry?
A hot potato.
- What do you call potatoes with right angles?
- What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water?
- What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes?
- What do you call a potato at a football game?
- What do you call a fake potato?
- What do you call a potato that’s always looking for a fight?
- What do you call a spinning potato?
- What do you call a chip that makes fun of you?
- How do you know a potato is in a bad mood?
When they’re acting salty.
- All potato puns are…
pomme de terrible.
- Why did the potato salad blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Who is a potato’s favorite author?
Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
- Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled.
- What do you use to carry potatoes?
A tater tote.
- What did the sweet potato say to the regular potato?
“I yam what I yam”.
- What do you call a baby potato?
- A potato gave a gift to his girlfriend.
She said, “Aww, why are you so sweet?” He said, “It’s just the way I yam.”
- What do you get after a potato rainstorm?
- Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off?
It was decap-potatoed.
- What did the father potato say to his daughter before her football game?
I’m rooting for you.
- What do you call a first aid vehicle made out of potatoes?
- What’s a potato’s least favorite dance?
The Mash Potato.
- Why did I win the potato-hiding contest?
Because my carbo-hide-rate was so good.
- Why does everyone love sweet potatoes?
- What’s a potato’s favorite song to dance to at a Halloween party?
The “Monster Mash.”
- What’s the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes?
Anyone can mash potatoes, but no one can pea soup.
- What is a potato’s life philosophy?
I think, therefore I yam.
- “How was your day?” The steak asked the gloomy potato.
The potato replied, “It was tater-ible.”
- Why does everyone love cooking with potatoes?
They’re very a-peeling.
- Why didn’t the potato want his daughter to marry the news reporter?
Because he was a commen-tater.
- Why did the French fry win the race?
Because it was fast food.
- What do potatoes eat for breakfast?
Pota-toast with jelly.
- What instrument does a spud play?
- How did the burger propose to the fry?
With an onion ring?
- Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone?
He desperately wanted a scoop.
- Why can’t a farmer keep secrets on her farm?
Because the corn has ears, the potatoes have eyes and the beans stalk.
- Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster?
Because he was a common-tater.
- What do you call a french dog that loves potatoes?
A pomme de terrier.
- What kind of potato would Kim Jong Un be?
- What do you call a potato that gets things done?
- Mr. Potato Head’s wife is upset.
She claims he won’t tater anywhere.
- What do you call a passenger train made out of sweet potatoes?
- Why did the sea monster eat twelve ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship!
- How did the Irish potato become bilingual?
He became a French Fry.
- Russia decided to launch a satellite full of potatoes into orbit to see what would happen.
It’s called the SPUDnic.
- What is the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig?
One’s a heated yam, and one’s a yeeted ham.
- A guy goes into a store and asks if they sell Potato Clocks. The assistant says “Sorry sir, we don’t. We have battery clocks, electrical clocks, wind up clocks. In fact, I’ve never heard of a potato clock.” The man says…
“Neither have I, but I start my new job at nine tomorrow and my wife said I should get a potato clock.”
- Why didn’t the potato chips believe anything the sandwich said?
Because the sandwich was full of baloney
- Two Amish women are digging potatoes in a field. The first turns to the other, hefts two large taters, and says “These potatoes remind me of my Jacob”.
The second replies “They’re that big?” “No,” the first says. “They’re that dirty.”
- Why were all the French fries swooning over the potato?
He was a total spud.
- What do you call a potato who works as an EMT?
- What did the bank robber French fry say to the potato cop?
“Just fry and stop me!”
Potato jokes are classic, obviously. But when you know a bunch of potato puns and play on words, you can make your own silly quips that will leave the crowd (or your kids) laughing at your homegrown jokes. We’ve gathered a bunch of puns from all over the internet that will help spud the competition.
- Sudden — Spudden
- Stud — Spud
- Teeter, Traitor, Hater — Tater
- I am — I yam
- Rude — Root
- Start — Starch
- Cold — Crisp
- Try, Fly — Fry
- Cheap — Chip
- Has — Hash
- Thought — Tot
- With — Wedge
- Match — Mash
- Tube of — Tuber
- Yankee — Yamkee
- Humorous — Tuberous
- Cheap, Chap, Ship — Chip
- Thought — Tot
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