If there’s one thing that’s wildly helpful to keep in mind heading into this final stretch of the year, it’s that the holidays aren’t just one day. Right now, we’re in the warm-up period, getting ready for what’s ultimately a months-long marathon of hosting, gift-wrapping, card-writing and cozy holiday cheer. So while, sure, there may be bags of half-eaten Halloween candy currently littering your countertops, it’s time to start thinking about the stuff you need to do (and buy) now to max out the holiday merriment and minimize the holiday stress.

What most of us have learned the hard way, of course, is that personalized gifts need a little extra time to make and ship. Placing those orders now gives you the head start you need! But also, why save all the good stuff for December anyway? We here at Scary Mommy are big believers in gifting early, both to ourselves and the people we love, especially when it’s stuff that’ll get used all season long, like matching PJs for every hot cocoa night and puzzles to work on as the weather turns.

We’ve rounded up what we’re buying now so that the holidays can be more about the fun stuff and less about the December scramble.

“Holiday Wreaths” Photo Wrapping Paper

“Holiday Wreaths” Photo Wrapping Paper

See On Walmart -

I love the idea of giving personalized wrapping paper at the holidays. It's charming, it's unique, and it's very specific. When else would you do this — and actually use what you buy? — Kate Auletta, Editor in Chief

Personalized Paper Napkins

Personalized Paper Napkins

Mark & Graham -

These are very chic little cocktail napkins that make a great hostess gift throughout the holiday season. They come in a variety of patterns, and while, sure, are more than I normally spend on such a thing, they make a nice gift whether you're headed somewhere for cocktails, for Thanksgiving, or beyond. — Kate Auletta

Personalized Holly Frame Doormat

Personalized Holly Frame Doormat 22" x 36"

Pottery Barn -

Forgive me, but I'm at the age where I have more than one doormat. I even have a Halloween one outside right now. It spruces up your outdoor space in a second and makes a nice gift too. I just love coming home to a welcoming doormat; sue me. — Kate Auletta

In The Grid Personalized Notebook

In The Grid Personalized Notebook

Papier -

If I had a nickel for every personalized notebook I had... I'd have about $3. But still, the point remains: A personalized notebook makes a great gift. You remember who gave it to you as you open it to start using it, and, as someone who is a chronic pen-and-paper girlie, I just love them. They make a great gift year-round, but especially at the holidays. — Kate Auletta

Tartan Quilted Tree Skirt

Tartan Quilted Tree Skirt

Mark & Graham -

I have a love-hate relationship with tree skirts. They're incredibly annoying, but incredibly useful. But I do love a tree skirt with character, and this one has it in spades. I love the idea of giving a newborn family a monogrammed tree skirt they can use for years to come. Such a sweet gift! — Kate Auletta

Nautilus Custom Puzzle

Nautilus Custom Puzzle

Nautilus Puzzles -

I'm a puzzler, especially when it gets cold outside. I love the idea of doing a thick wood, personalized puzzle that will remind you of the moment captured, as well as the person or family who gave it to you. It makes a lovely gift, promise. — Kate Auletta

Hand-Painted Ceramic North Pole Mailbox Coin Bank

Hand-Painted Ceramic North Pole Mailbox Coin Bank

Mark & Graham -

Ok, how friggin' cute is this? My kids no longer believe in Santa, but I almost want to buy this for our house. It's a great thing to whip out as the holidays — and the gift requests — amp up. Read their letters and write personalized notes on Christmas Eve while drinking eggnog. Win-win. — Kate Auletta

Holiday Icon Scalloped Hand Towel

Holiday Icon Scalloped Hand Towel

Mark & Graham -

I care about my guest bath maybe more than I care about my own. It's, like, my space. As such, I love the idea of giving monogrammed towels for the space that you can whip out, especially at the holidays. They'll get used, and they're great quality. — Kate Auletta

Christmas Tree Pillows

Christmas Tree Pillows (1 Piece)

Shein -

Call me a Boomer, but I love switching out throw pillows for each season. And I adore these tree pillows, which are not only affordable but can sit prettily on your couch for months. They're a lovely gift, or if you're feeling selfish, a lovely gift to yourself. — Kate Auletta

Multicolor Ornament Christmas Pathway Markers

Multicolor Ornament Christmas Pathway Markers

Lowe's -

Any house that can pull off an outdoor lights display at the holidays is fine by me. What I love about these is that, sure, you can buy them for the winter holidays, but you can reuse them for Halloween, the Fourth of July, or a random Saturday. They're just so fun, especially if you have kids. You can't go wrong. — Kate Auletta

Magnetic Me Holiday PJs

Magnetic Me Holiday PJs

Magnetic Me -

One of my absolute most favorite holiday traditions is seasonal PJs! When our kids were little, we would always get them matching sets like these super festive, cozy ones from Magnetic Me. The fact that these feature magnets for easy, over-the-head dressing is a huge bonus. Buy them now so you can be cute and coordinated for every holiday movie night and hot cocoa sipping session. — Julie Sprankles, Deputy Editor, Lifestyle & Entertainment

Canon Selphy Photo Printer

Canon Selphy Photo Printer

Canon -

We have had so much fun with our mini photo printer from Canon — and it's a perfect thing to get before the holidays get rolling. I love taking pictures during a party or event and then handing out hard copies as our guests go out the door. It's such a good, simple party favor. You can also set up homemade photo booths! — Sarah Aswell, Deputy Editor, News & Social

Slice Wrapping Paper Cutter

Rotary Scissors Cutting Tool by Slice, 6 Pack

Amazon -

Do yourself a favor TODAY and buy this Slice tool for cutting wrapping paper. I swear it saved me 7-10 business days while wrapping. I literally hide it from the rest of my family. And while you're at it, buy the Slice box cutter, too. They both make my life easier and happier. — Sarah Aswell

Chef's Choice Knife Sharpener

Chef's Choice Knife Sharpener

Chef's Choice -

Before the turkey is steaming on your holiday table... before you need to chop one thousand vegetables for the party, run every knife in your kitchen through this electric knife sharpener. I bring this baby out right before the holidays start and sharpen everything that isn't nailed down in my kitchen, and it almost feels like self-care. Using a sharp knife makes so much more of a difference than you think! — Sarah Aswell

Enbrighten Outdoor String Lights

Enbrighten Outdoor String Lights

Amazon -

This is what I've been looking for! I love having cafe lights strung up around my porch for entertaining during the summer — what if they could just MAGICALLY turn into holiday lights for Halloween and then Christmas? Now they can. These programmable lights mean that I am not constantly putting up and taking down lights — the colors just change with the season, in whatever configuration you'd like. — Sarah Aswell

Cedarwood Soy Wax Candle

Cedarwood Soy Wax Candle

Amazon -

Nothing gets me and my house in the holiday mood quite like having a few really nice candles ready to go. I stay away from the sweeter smells of Christmas and gravitate for ones like this: evergreen and forest smells that are bright and crisp and cheery (even if you opt for a fake tree for your house). — Sarah Aswell

National Parks Advent Calendar Puzzle

National Parks Advent Calendar

Amazon -

This combines so many of my interests: puzzles, national parks, and advent calendars! I love that this one involves an activity and that it doesn't result in a bunch of cheap junk in your house that never leaves. — Sarah Aswell

Jane's Agenda Stationery Train Case

Jane's Agenda Stationery Train Case

Jane's Agenda -

I love holiday cards, but actually writing them and addressing the envelopes can start to feel like too much of a task, especially with all the other stuff going on around the holidays. I love putting all of my cards, stamps, pens, and stickers in this little case and carrying it with me — I can get a few cards done wherever I am, whether it's my kid's ballet lessons, a doctor's waiting room, or a lunch alone. — Sarah Aswell

Harmonies Board Game

Harmonies Board Game

Amazon -

I am really trying to focus my holiday season around activities and togetherness over material things. One great way to do this is to get a few new board games that are super family-friendly. I love this one because it is still playable for kids on the younger side, but it's fun for adults, too. It's also just really pretty and magical and fun — you create lovely worlds with cool animals, for points of course. — Sarah Aswell

Auri Shaping Dress

Auri Shaping Dress

Miraclesuit -

Before the holidays start, get yourself a go-to party dress that you can throw on without thinking for whatever occasion. My favorite this season is this dress by Miracle Suit in dark green. You can literally just throw it on and run out the door, and yet it looks so pretty and flattering. And like any good holiday dress, you can elevate it really easily with some heels and jewelry or dress it down with a cardigan and flats. — Sarah Aswell

There are a million cards to send and gifts to wrap, a double batch of cookies to make for that school party, and all the while your mom is guilt-tripping you for not bringing your family to their house for the holidays. The end of the year can be stressful mentally, emotionally, and logistically. While we all know we should buy gifts ahead of time instead of waiting for the last minute, present shopping is hardly the only source of holiday stress nagging at moms this time of year. Scary Mommy asked Kati Morton, LMFT, licensed marriage and family therapist and author of the forthcoming book Why Do I Keep Doing This? Unlearning the Habits Keeping You Stuck and Unhappy, what we can do starting now to make the holidays easier on ourselves.

1. Start conversations about holiday expectations now.

Text your girlfriends and ask if you’re exchanging gifts this year, or if you know you’d rather not, say so (money’s tight for everyone right now!). Call up your family and your in-laws and let everyone know where you’ll be spending the holidays, how long you can stay when you visit, and any other plans that may have caused confusion or hurt feelings in the past.

“Let them know all the things that you’re wanting and all the things that you can and cannot do so that there’s less upset later. We don’t want there to be any assumptions that people have or expectations that aren’t met because one of my favorite quotes, and I forget who even said it, is expectations that are not communicated are resentments in the making,” says Morton.

(Editor’s note: This quote, “Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments,” is from The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships by Neil Strauss.)

2. Send a boundary-setting text.

Once you’ve decided on what you’d like to do for the holidays and how much you’re capable of, make that clear to your relatives.

“‘Just so you know, Mom, we’re only able to stay two nights this year. Was looking at our calendar for Thanksgiving, that’s what we can do,’” Morton says. “Or, ‘I’d love to host, but I’m going to need everyone to bring a dish.’ Or texting all your siblings or friends or whoever: ‘We’re going to keep gifts under $50 this year.’ One text could save you weeks of stress later.”

3. Find things that calm you down and practice them now.

If you know your uncle always brings up politics at the table and you’re going to need to take a few deep breaths to hold back your fire-breathing rage, don’t let that moment be the first time you practice calming yourself down. Find what actually makes you feel better (Morton says a lot of people genuinely hate breathing exercises) and practice it in advance.

What helps you feel better? Is it deep breathing or is it just doing a little body shake? Is it going for a walk? I personally love qigong; it makes my anxiety just calm down. Try some things out now so that we’re not trying a coping skill for the first time at Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas Eve,” she advises.

4. Figure out the mental load of the holidays now, and get real with yourself about delegating.

Morton recommends sitting down and making a list of all the tasks involved in making the holidays happen. You’re going to Thanksgiving dinner but need to bring a dish. Do you have to be the one who shops for the ingredients, prepares it, and washes up after? When gift shopping, are you the only one in the house who can determine a budget, choose gifts, physically go to the store or sit down to order them, and then wrap them?

“Often women, especially mothers, take on all the tasks when a lot of that can be offloaded,” she says. “You can delegate to your spouse, to your other children, to other people in the family for certain things.”

5. Practice saying, “Let me think about that and get back to you.”

Or, “Let me check my calendar and get back to you.” We often feel pressured to say yes to things in the moment — party invites, family visits, volunteer tasks — and then we feel overwhelmed by them later. Get in the habit of not saying yes right away, but giving yourself space to get back home and figure out how saying yes will actually fit into your life.

6. Get very detailed with your calendar.

Yes, add the cookie exchange at work to your cal, but you should also add the time you’ll need to bake the cookies the night before, Morton says.

“I don’t think we often consider all of the labor involved in saying ‘yes’ to something. If we’re like, ‘Oh yeah, I’ll go to that potluck party where I not only have to bring a dish, but then I also have to bring a gift that’s $30 or less,’ those things take time,” she explains. “When are you going to go get that gift? When are you going to get the food and make that thing or buy that thing? Having a calendar where you start recognizing travel days or prep days, that really allows you to block off some days for rest so that we don’t overcommit.”

7. Schedule downtime like you schedule everything else.

“We schedule parties and all sorts of other things for our kids and our families. What are you going to do for you? Are we making sure we have downtime?” Morton asks.

If you see two weekends in a row where you’ll be traveling, maybe you set aside the weekends before and after to rest and regroup, for example.

8. Be honest and clear about your holiday budget.

Before you buy anything for anyone, truly sit down and look up the things you want to buy for everyone and get an idea of the cost. Many of Morton’s patients feel stressed over money this time of year — who doesn’t? — and getting real with yourself about what you can afford before you start spending anything can prevent a lot of stress come January, she advises.

9. Journal about what you want this holiday season to be like.

Morton admits this sounds a little therapist-y, but she makes a strong case for why it would help. Getting a clear idea now of whether you want a full and busy or slow, relaxing holiday season helps you say yes and no to the right things. If you’re a people-pleaser, maybe this looks like just making a list of things you won’t do this year.

“Maybe you’re not sending holiday cards this year, or maybe you’re not going to attend every party. Maybe you’re not making six side dishes for that gathering. Put that list out somewhere where you can see it this time of year,” she says.

If you’re someone who visits home and always leaves feeling worse than you did before, it’s worthwhile to journal about why that might be.

“Something that has been helpful for me is to recognize, looking back on old holidays, what role you play in your family and if you want to do that or not,” Morton says. “Are you always the peacekeeper? If you’re the eldest daughter, you’re probably the responsible one running around and doing all those things — do you want to play that role? Whenever you go home for any extensive period of time, even if you’re a full-fledged adult, you revert back into being a teenager and you fall into a specific role that you held. Just noting that ahead of time can save us all the stress of being like, ‘Why is it so horrible every time I’m here?’”

This week’s confessions make one thing abundantly clear: the ratio of what women say out loud to what they are actually carrying around isn't close. Not remotely. Of course, that’s kind of the whole premise of this column, right? It’s not about the salacious bits or the scandals, although those are often quite juicy. It’s about the gap. That distance between the version of you that shows up in the car rider line at your kid’s school pickup and all the plates spinning in your head. Moms come here to share those clandestine parts of themselves.

This week, they laid bare all kinds of tricky things going on behind the scenes. Like what it feels like when you try to cut off your toxic mother, only for her to bounce back as if nothing happened. Or realizing, after taking a long look at your marriage, that the only difference you’d notice if you left your husband would be the money. One mom admitted she’s financially drowning despite having a “comfortable” income, and quite a few others confirmed that perimenopause is, indeed, a b*tch. And, because this is the confessional after all, more than one affair makes an appearance.

There’s good news too, like the mom who finally found a decent man and the one who’s hitting her stride in her 50s.

But whatever you’re hauling around that nobody in your life knows about, well, there’s probably a mom here who has confessed some version of it. So, here’s this week’s batch, shared anonymously by moms who needed to let it all out.

Scary Mommy Confessions are a tried-and-true part of what makes our site so fun. If you want to anonymously confess, look for our weekly callouts on Instagram. And to browse past Confessions, take a look here.

I was raised to be a nice girl, the good girl. The perfect storm of cultural conditioning, conservative Christian upbringing, and being the eldest daughter. Cue Taylor Swift.

Even as a child I was a people pleaser, trying to make sure those around me were happy (and happy with me). This especially took place in my home, where, as I grew older, I constantly felt like I was walking on eggshells, trying to avoid causing conflict and often staying quiet even when things were bothering me.

Adebisi Gbadamosi, licensed therapist and the founder of Mindful Blooms Counseling, says that often how good girls present in childhood, especially in school, is reflected in how they eventually function as adults. “[They] got the label as the teacher’s pet…[They] followed directions the first time,” notes Gbadamosi, “They would say a lot of, ‘I can’t do that.’ And it wasn’t always because they weren’t allowed to do that; they were like, ‘oh, I can’t, that would be wrong, or that would be scary.’”

For me, perfectionist tendencies began to emerge in school as I tried to do everything the “right way.” I was a rule follower. The quiet one who hardly spoke up. But I constantly felt like my efforts weren’t good enough and that I wasn’t good enough.

“Good girls” to “good moms”

I grew into an adult who was uncomfortable with conflict and felt responsible for others' emotions. I suffered from low self-esteem, which didn’t help my plight to stand up for myself against mistreatment, even by people who were supposed to be my friends. Years of keeping my emotions and my opinions stuffed inside stifled my voice and also contributed to my struggles with my mental health. And when I became a mom, it became even more challenging.

Licensed marriage and family therapist Samantha Grimes sees these patterns pop up frequently in her female clients. Especially in moms, who are often so busy taking care of the needs of everyone in their households that they neglect their own. And it is something that she has experienced as well.

“Growing up, there was a lot of ‘take care of other people’s needs before your own.’ I think that led to a lot of people-pleasing, a lot of being treated like a doormat for a while, and a lot of codependency,” says Grimes. “Then as a mom, once I had my kids, they obviously had really strong needs. I also have a disabled child, and she has higher needs as well. I found myself taking care of my kids, taking care of my husband, all of this to the point of burnout.”

Express lane to burnout

Just like I was focused on doing everything in my life “the right way,” I also wanted to do motherhood the right way. And with a tiny human I wanted to not only keep alive, but to thrive, it felt like there was little margin for error. Everyone had strong opinions on the right way to mother, from giving birth to feeding to sleep. And as my daughter grew older, the pressure of being the default parent who cared for most of her needs was overwhelming.

Many of the women Gbadamosi works with initiate therapy when they hit that burnout point, of not knowing who they are outside of what they do as career women and/or as mothers.

“They did what they were supposed to do, but something feels off, whether they don’t feel like they’re at peace, or like they’re missing something,” she says. “They will come in kind of confused and sometimes feeling like they were misled, or even lied to.”

And we were lied to. Because the sexist cultural and religious conditioning to be a good girl that takes on others’ needs and never says no, while great for everyone around us, leads to emotional and physical exhaustion.

Grimes notes that her clients who were raised with the good girl mentality often struggle with:

• Overinflated sense of guilt
• Porous boundaries
• Inability to say no
• Feeling overcommitted
• Frequent fatigue
• Lack of identity
• High anxiety
• Perfectionism
• Irritability
• Building resentment and anger
• Feeling overstimulated
• In more severe cases, substance use and eating disorders

Listen to your body

When I began to recognize these traits myself during my own therapy, I realized that I was spending a lot of time focusing on what others needed or wanted from me to the neglect of my own needs. Grimes believes many moms struggle to identify their own needs and even what their bodies are telling them.

“One of the things I teach is a lot of mindfulness skills to be aware of somatic activation. So noticing, ‘Oh, my chest is tight, or oh, I’m getting really hot,’” says Grimes. “These things are signals of either anxiety, frustration, resentment, or discomfort. Something is happening, and I think a lot of women tune that out.”

She believes learning to check in with ourselves like this can help us address needs or discomfort before they bloom into rage or resentment. Getting practice in saying no is also key to being able to set boundaries for yourself and preserve your sanity.

It can start with the small things. If you don’t have time to volunteer or bake cookies for a class party, you can sign up for cups and napkins or catch the next sign-up (because there is always a next one). Or, if your kids want to go to the park and you are exhausted, you can suggest an alternative activity you can do at home. None of these choices make you a lazy or bad mom.

Ask for (specific) help

As for those things we can’t say no to, or the moments we still feel overwhelmed (because we all have them), we can do our best to enlist help and keep asking for it. Because as much as we want others to recognize that we are drowning and offer to help, sometimes people need direct assignments or requests. We all need a robust support system, which can include therapists, doctors, friends, family members, coworkers, neighbors, childcare providers, and partners.

If your partner is not pulling their weight, the best thing you can do is delegate. Gbadamosi feels this is a good area to tolerate discomfort, which can be challenging for good girls who want to fix everything or have everything just right.

“Being the primary caretaker, there’s the very real thought that if I don’t do this, who’s going to?” says Gbadamosi. “It’s not going to get done, or it may not be at my standard… Do I just do it myself so that it’s done properly, or do I let someone else handle it, and maybe have to redo it?”

Falling back on “I’ll just do it myself” can let weaponized incompetence thrive. After all, your partner won’t learn how to do things if they don’t get practice. Delegating to others can also help build flexibility in our tendency to think there is an exactly right way to do every task, even if it’s uncomfortable in the moment.

Because we are used to managing others’ feelings and avoiding conflict, negative responses to our newly set boundaries, delegating, and no’s can also result in distress and discomfort. Grimes says it’s important to remember that a negative response doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong, but that the person has benefited from you being boundaryless.

“When you’re keeping the peace, you’re sacrificing your own. So, the only person that you’re making comfortable is that other person,” says Grimes, “So, building distress tolerance [is important]... when someone is attacking you for a boundary that you set, or guilting you.”

Raising our girls differently

While I’m still working on short-circuiting those good girl tendencies within myself, I know I don’t want to raise my own daughter with those values. I don’t want her to go through life feeling responsible for others' feelings and hesitant to express her own. I have been intentional about distinguishing between being nice and being kind, and respecting her no’s as much as possible.

With her own daughter, Gbadamosi has tried to have ongoing conversations that encourage her to recognize her inner voice and make decisions that are true to that.

“Remember that toddler stage when they’re always asking why? I try to practice this myself, but asking them, ‘What made you decide to do that?’ And really having that conversation about their reasoning,” says Gbadamosi. “So that way, if they’re starting to [make] decisions out of expectations, instead of it being true to their character, then you can… have the conversations and help them implement healthier boundaries by showing them when it is and isn’t appropriate.”

Grimes also believes it's important to model in our own interactions how we want our daughters to be treated. This includes having them see us set boundaries around our bodies, what we say yes and no to, how we are spoken to, and then how we respond to others when our boundaries aren’t respected.

“It could [also] be increasing empathy. Like, ‘Hey, that person’s upset. Why do you think they’re upset?’” she says, “[Focus on] creating a sense of empathy and understanding without having to fix it. A big part of conflict avoidance is fixing it so that you’re more comfortable.”

I stopped posting photos of my son on social media almost four years ago, after my husband and I found out one of his college teammates had been charged with possessing and distributing child sexual abuse material. While we had no reason to believe our son’s photos were part of his cache, the fact that he followed my husband on Instagram made us all too aware that our private profiles still didn’t magically make sharing our son’s image online safe. Sometimes the predator isn’t a stranger, and they already follow you.

In the following days and weeks, we went back through our social media profiles, deleting the sun-drenched baby in a bear cub onesie captioned “my little sweet potato” and the family pictures at the pumpkin patch. We texted family members and friends asking them not to share pictures of our son online either. It felt overprotective and uncomfortable to be the only people we knew with this boundary. I imagined my friends swiping through photos after getting together with our kids and being bummed they couldn’t share the cutest of the bunch because my son’s face was in it. “Ugh, you know how she is.” (This was all in my head, by the way. My friends are incredibly supportive.)

The mass deletion also felt a little like erasing the fact that we’d ever had a baby at all, like maybe the happy glow around these moments and my entire matrescence wouldn’t just cease to exist in my digital footprint, but in my own memory. How would anyone know I was a mom at all, specifically a good one? Well, therein lies the motivation to post, for many parents.

Millennials are savvy tech users, and we’re well aware of the precautions we should take online. Most of us are not vlogging our kids’ daily routines to post on YouTube for profit. We’re snapping a pic of our kid’s first lost tooth and posting it on our private accounts, with no identifying information about their whereabouts, last name, or other risky privacy details. We know what to leave out so no one can ascertain where our kids go to school, open a credit card in their name, or guess at their future passwords.

But the magnitude of the risk of sharing at all has skyrocketed in the past year alone, thanks to AI, which can turn a completely innocent school photo of a child into the unthinkable. According to the Internet Watch Foundation, “realistic full-motion AI video content is now commonplace. In 2025, the IWF identified 3,443 AI-generated child sexual abuse videos, an increase of 26,385% compared with the previous year, when just 13 such videos were recorded.” If the AI landscape in 2026 is any indicator, those numbers (and the risk it can happen to our kids) are going to be astronomical by year’s end.

Deepfakes and AI-generated images have also become a common bullying tactic. I can’t imagine trying to survive middle school after some zit-faced twerp generated fake nudes of me based on a completely innocent photo of me from my mom’s Facebook, but it happens now.

Aside from this, there are also less tangible downsides to sharenting, ones that may or may not dissuade a parent from posting. What if your child is embarrassed by the post, now or in the future? What if they don’t want your friends from high school to know they’ve had a stomach bug all week? What if they want to be the ones to tell their grandparents what their Halloween costume was instead of you? Stolen thunder is real when you’re a kid.

We know all of these things, and still we post.

Even after so long not sharing my son online, I still feel the urge to post him. When he earns a medal at soccer, gets an adorable new haircut, snuggles up to the dog on the couch — I want to shout it all from the internet’s rooftops. Look at my kid! Tell me he’s the cutest, the sweetest, the smartest... and by extension, that I’m doing a really good job being his mom.

Research has identified a number of common reasons parents post their kids online: to chronicle life events to remember them later, to “advocate for particular parenting philosophies,” to connect with family members, to gather support from their community, and in some cases, for financial benefit. But “the desire to receive ‘good mother’ approval as an indicator of parenting skills emerges as another sharing motivation,” states a study from all the way back in 2015.

In a 2024 review of 61 studies about sharenting behaviors, researchers identify this need to be viewed as good parents as a main driver behind why we post our kids, even against our better judgment. As modern parenting demands a more intense devotion to every aspect of child-rearing — emotional regulation, developmental milestones, creating core memories — sharing snippets of our lives online has become “both a perpetuator of and a coping mechanism for these pressures,” the authors state. Posting your kid screaming in the backseat for the world to see is, at least in some small part of your brain, about getting your followers to message you in solidarity. “OMG, I’ve been there. You’re doing great, Mama.”

The same article found there is a consistent underestimation of the risks of sharenting among parents, perhaps because we are also weighing the costs of not sharing:

“In relation to children’s privacy, studies suggest that the occurrence of sharenting behavior is not related to parents’ potential knowledge of risks, digital literacy, or competencies... A UK mixed-methods study highlighted a paradox where informed mothers continued to sharent despite privacy concerns, suggesting a complex decision-making process where the psychological need for social interaction may outweigh privacy risks.”

There can be a deep shame for parents who understand all of the risks and still want to post their children (and do). What’s always missing from the conversation about sharenting, and from our own assessments of why we personally do it, is this acknowledgment that we’re doing such intensive parenting with so little support. In a world where your village is spread around the country, sharenting is a way to strengthen connection, to pull your far-flung friends and family into your motherhood journey where you need them. Having someone DM you that you’re killing it, even if it sounds stupid, can be the boon that gets you through bedtime.

Unfortunately, studies also show that while we may feel more connected for sharenting, our children don’t.

A study from 2019 found that when parents shared photos of their children to show their pride, or to archive memories, kids responded more positively. However, when the post was more about “impression management” — trying to shape others’ opinions of their parenting for the better — their children had a more negative view. Overall, “adolescents largely disapproved of sharenting. They mainly considered it as embarrassing and useless,” researchers concluded.

A focus group study from the same year, involving interviews with 46 adolescents ages 12 to 14, found that kids believed “parents should respect a couple of boundaries concerning what types of posts can be shared, how often, and with whom. Moreover, they should ask permission before actually posting about their children.”

Without the external validation of social media, I focus on the actual proof I’m a good mom: when my son says he worried about me all day because I had to get my flu shot, when he spills his guts as we lay in bed and cuddle at night, or when I ask about the rose and thorn of his day and they are “seeing you” and “leaving you,” respectively. These were the only measures of my motherhood that ever really mattered, and they’re the only ones I bother with now.

I may never be rid of the urge to share my son with the world — I’m a pretty big fan of him. But there’s immense comfort in knowing photos of my kid will be very hard to come by for bullies or creeps, and that he has the freedom to define himself as he grows up without having to navigate anyone’s preconceived notions about him because of my posts.

That said, not everyone is as lucky as I am. My family and friends have all been completely on board with our sharenting boundaries. They also all live nearby. We have a village, unlike so many other American parents. I don’t judge or begrudge anyone’s choices around what they do or don’t share of their children online. But if you’ve ever felt an uncomfortable tension around the question of “to post or not to post,” just know you’re nowhere near alone.

Listen, everyone loves a super cheesy homemade macaroni with like seven cheeses and a dash of truffle in there for good measure. But in this economy, most American families don’t have the funds to make every Thanksgiving side dish the way Bon Appétit recommends. What we really need right now are inexpensive Thanksgiving side dish recipes that deliver on flavor, feed a crowd, and don’t require you to break the budget for a random ingredient you’ll never use again — because let’s be real, chopped walnuts are not a staple in most people’s kitchens.

With that in mind, here are 16 inexpensive Thanksgiving side dish recipes your family will enjoy, and your bank account won’t begrudge.

Twice Baked Sweet Potatoes with Streusel

These twice-baked sweet potatoes with streusel topping from A Cookie Named Desire feel very elevated, but they’re not pricey to make — they just take a little more time. In the end, you’re left with sweet, crunchy sweet potatoes that are almost like little personal casseroles.

Corn Pudding

Budget Bytes’ corn pudding has a delicious cheddar crust on top that looks absolutely phenomenal. The recipe costs a little over $6 altogether, and all the ingredients — sour cream, cheddar cheese, half-and-half — are things you’ll likely use up in other recipes anyway.

Cranberry Sauce

If you’re a fresh cranberry sauce person, you probably already know that it’s pretty cheap to make. Damn Delicious’ recipe is so simple that it only takes five ingredients, and one of them is water. It’ll be ready in 20 minutes and only cost you a few bucks.

Mashed Potatoes

We need not reinvent the wheel here — potatoes are cheap, and mashed potatoes are perfect. This recipe from Damn Delicious will teach you how to make the perfect batch on the stovetop in about 45 minutes total.

Roasted Asparagus

Nothing screams fall like roasted veggies, and they don’t need much to taste amazing. All The Healthy Things’ roasted asparagus recipe seriously only calls for the veggies themselves, a little olive oil, salt, pepper, and a lemon.

Mashed Butternut Squash

OK, maybe butternut squash is actually the most “fall” vegetable of them all. All The Healthy Things’ mashed version is a little sweet, a little savory, and one you’ll be so happy you added to your table.

Glazed Carrots

Something about a mound of glazed carrots looks so fancy and festive! Damn Delicious’ recipe will help you get them perfectly tender and explains that, yes, you can totally use dried herbs to save a little money on this one.

Potato Rolls

Fresh-baked rolls are probably my favorite Thanksgiving dish on the whole freaking table, and Averie Cooks’ potato rolls are easy enough that I think even beginner bakers can handle them. She answers all the questions you may have in her post, like how to make them ahead and tips on ensuring your dough rises properly.

White Cheddar Mac & Cheese

Mac and cheese is a must on our family’s table, and Princess Pinky Girl’s white cheddar mac looks like everything you could ever want, honestly. It comes together on the stovetop in about 30 minutes with minimal ingredients, and you could then bake it with a little extra cheese or breadcrumbs on top for added effect if you choose.

Green Bean Casserole

Green bean casserole requires more ingredients than a roasted veggie side, and some recipes actually get a little fancy with it. Budget Bytes keeps it simple and classic with their take — I can taste the crispy French-fried onions now.

Roasted Brussels Sprouts

Brussels sprouts are another easy roasted veg option if asparagus isn’t your thing. Budget Bytes’ recipe is so easy and so cheap, you’ll be adding them into your weeknight dinner rotation too.

French Onion Rice

Rice and soup mix are all you need to create a super flavorful base for turkey and gravy. Princess Pinky Girl’s French onion rice only requires five ingredients and five minutes of prep, so it might be the easiest thing you make all day.

Roasted Broccolini

If Brussels sprouts or carrots aren’t your favorite, consider adding roasted broccolini to the menu. It feels a little fancier than regular broccoli but is every bit as easy to cook with. Feel Good Foodie’s recipe only takes 5 minutes of prep and a handful of pantry staple ingredients.

Fried Apples

If you’ve never had them, fried apples are so easy and incredibly delicious. Biscuits & Burlap’s recipe will walk you through how to make this Southern holiday dinner staple, but don’t worry — you’ll only need five ingredients and 20 minutes or less at the stove.

Easy Sauteed Green Beans With Garlic

I don’t think there’s an easier, cheaper side than Feel Good Foodie’s green beans with garlic. They’re fresh and tender and add a great pop of green to your table, and they require very little time to do it.

Whipped Ricotta With Honey & Truffle

If you want to set out an appetizer for guests to graze while waiting on dinner, The Stush Kitchen’s whipped ricotta with honey and truffle looks absolutely divine. Crisp up some bread slices for dipping and have the recipe link ready to share, because you will be asked about it.

What recipes are you going to make this year, price tag be damned, and which ones will you swap for a cheaper alternative?

At 25 weeks pregnant, Jules McBride and her husband, Jevon, were in a car accident that would change their lives, severely injuring them both. Jules needed an emergency C-section, bringing their daughter, Juliana, into the world months early, weighing just 1 pound, 10 ounces. Juliana was later diagnosed with a Grade 4 brain bleed and hydrocephalus.

While Juliana was fighting for her life in the NICU, Jules and Jevon were dealing with their own recoveries. Jules was in a wheelchair, while Jevon would need multiple surgeries and countless hours of physical therapy to learn how to walk again. “We were navigating an unimaginable medical crisis,” Jules says, “but leaving Juliana’s side was never an option.”

With home more than an hour and a half away from the hospital where Jevon and Juliana were staying, Jules was faced with figuring out how she could recover herself and stay close to her family. That's when a hospital social worker told her about Ronald McDonald House, a place where families can stay near the hospital while their child receives medical care.

The McBrides’ first stay at Ronald McDonald House lasted 105 days, and it gave them a place to rest and recover while staying close to Juliana. "I was scared when we first arrived because I had just left my husband and baby at the hospital, but there was also an overwhelming sense of relief knowing I was still so close," she recalls.

The Everyday Needs That Don't Stop

When your child is seriously ill, the everyday questions don't disappear. Where will we sleep? How will we eat? How do we get from the bed we're healing in to the bedside where our baby is fighting? "I was so worried about how Jules would travel between our home, the hospital, and Juliana's NICU while she was injured herself," Jevon remembers. "But Ronald McDonald House gave us a way to stay close to Juliana and eventually come back together as a family."

Jules' mother, Alison, stayed with her at the House during the first eight weeks, helping care for her while she recovered. When Jevon was discharged from the hospital, he joined them there so the family could stay close to Juliana.

Jules calls Ronald McDonald House "such a gift," providing "all the essentials of everyday life." Around daily hospital visits, they had accessible rooms and bathrooms, a place for Jevon to continue physical therapy, storage for breast milk, home-cooked meals, and somewhere to rest after long days in the NICU.

"It gave us a home near Juliana rather than forcing us to face everything separately," Jevon says. "I could visit her every day, stay close to her care team, and be present for her treatment without worrying about where we would sleep or how we would manage basic needs," Jules says.

Healing Together

Hospital life is loud and relentless. Monitors beep through the night, and the hours blur together. Jevon describes what Ronald McDonald House offered in contrast. “We had nutritious meals waiting, a place to take a hot shower, and a peaceful room away from the sounds of hospital monitors."

The House also had common areas, including one with a piano that Jevon took to. “Being able to sit in the common room and play familiar melodies helped me stay grounded while I was recovering and learning to walk again. Those moments gave me a sense of normalcy and reminded me of who I was outside of my medical journey,” he recalls. “The everyday comforts of the House helped create a space where I could focus on my family and my healing.”

For Jules, another source of comfort came from the families around her. In the evenings, after Juliana was asleep, she would return to the House and spend time with other parents who understood exactly what she was going through without needing an explanation. “They understood the fear and exhaustion of having a child in the hospital in a way that not everyone could,” she says. “Being able to confide in them helped me feel less alone.”

“Community is often built through ordinary moments,” says Katie Fitzgerald, President and CEO of Ronald McDonald House Global. “A volunteer has dinner ready after a long day at the hospital. A staff member welcomes a parent and siblings by name. Another parent understands the exhaustion of waiting for test results without needing any explanation. Siblings have someone to play with while their caregivers have a moment to breathe.”

Sharing Their Story

Now, as the first-ever Global Spokesfamily for Ronald McDonald House, Jules and Jevon are connecting with more families navigating their child's medical care and providing the same support and encouragement that others gave them when they needed it most. "You do not have to go through this alone," Jules says. "Asking for help gives you the chance to rest, recover, and keep showing up for your child.”

Jevon adds, "There is so much strength in accepting help. When your family is facing so much, support can make all the difference. Ronald McDonald House gave us the space to focus on being together and healing together."

Help More Families Stay Close

Right now, a parent is sitting in a hospital waiting room wondering where they'll sleep tonight, when they’ll have their next meal, and how they’ll manage another day away from home. Ronald McDonald House helps remove those everyday burdens and offers a community of support, so families can stay close to their child and involved in their care.

“A parent cannot focus on their child’s care if they’re also trying to figure out where the family will sleep, how everyone will eat, how to get to the next appointment, and how siblings will be taken care of. A place to rest, eat, and just be together as a family eases some of that pressure,” says Fitzgerald. “For some families who travel far or are struggling with finances, having those practical needs met can make the difference in whether their child can access that care at all.”

The McBrides know how much this support matters. Yet many families still cannot access this support when they need it. Ronald McDonald House estimates that 2.6 million families worldwide need its services, and it currently serves approximately one in four. In the U.S., it meets about 55% of estimated demand. "I still think about the other families who need our support," says Fitzgerald.

As the McBrides mark a decade since their first stay at Ronald McDonald House, they're inviting readers to help more families receive the support that made such a difference for theirs. “Ronald McDonald House helped my family stay together and close to our daughter’s care. It gave us a home, meals, and a supportive community when we were exhausted and scared,” says Jevon.

To commemorate 10 years since the McBrides’ first stay, donate $10 or more to Ronald McDonald House today to help ensure that more families have the everyday essentials and support they need to stay close to their child.

In the middle of the week of our Disney World trip, it rained the entire day. Not a little drizzle. Not an afternoon Florida shower that blows through in twenty minutes. It poured, all damn day. This was the kind of rain that soaks through everything and makes you question every decision that led you to a theme park in Florida during hurricane season.

I was upset at first, I have to admit.

And then I looked around and realized two things: I had planned this scenario! And also! The wait time for Rise of the Resistance was nonexistent.

Here is the thing about a rainy Disney day that nobody tells you until you’re standing in the puddles: the crowds thin out dramatically. The people who didn’t prepare go back to their hotels. The locals don’t even bother coming.

Disney also makes it genuinely easy to have a great day in the rain: covered queues, tons of indoor attractions, restaurants that feel cozy instead of chaotic. If you come ready, a rainy day just might be your best park day.

Here’s what I brought that made our rainy Disney day work:

Heavy-duty ponchos that don’t rip

Opret Rain Ponchos with Hood and Sleeves 2 Pack for Kids, White

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Get the good ponchos! Not the flimsy $2 disposable kind (though those can be good for water rides!). Get real ones before you go to the parks. They’re cheaper than what Disney sells at the gate, and they actually keep you dry.

Shoe covers that cinch at the ankle

20Pcs Waterproof Shoe Upper Protector,Outdoor Shoe Protection Cover, L Size

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These are totally underrated. Wet shoes at a theme park are a special kind of misery, and with the Florida humidity, good luck on them ever drying! Shoe covers mean you stay dry, and your kid doesn’t spend the afternoon complaining about soggy socks. I sold a lady on these while we shared the Skyliner, and now we’re besties.

A smooth stroller with a rain cover

BOB Stroller Rental from BabyQuip

We rented a BOB stroller through BabyQuip, and it came with a rain cover included at no extra charge. The whole experience was shockingly easy. The guy we rented from met us right in the hotel lobby for pickup and drop-off, no hauling a stroller through baggage claim or wrestling it into a rental car. If you’re traveling with a little one, BabyQuip is the move.

An actually durable travel umbrella

TUMELLA Strongest Windproof Travel Umbrella (Compact, 100MPH Wind-Tested)

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This is a no-brainer! I used our travel umbrella basically the whole time! Make sure to pack it in an easy-access spot, not buried at the bottom of your bag. And when you’re parking the stroller and heading into a queue, we keep our umbrella open for extra rain protection!

A waterproof carry-all bag

BAGSMART Faro Light Backpack 0.4

My husband carried the BAGSMART Faro backpack, which has a Level 4 water-repellent exterior. Everything inside stayed dry all day. And for the cost? You cannot beat this!

A hydrating lip product

Facecard Lip Hydrator

Okay, hear me out. Rain plus humidity plus being outside all day does a number on your skin, and the Facecard Green Line Lip Hydrator kept my lips from completely falling apart. Small, easy to throw in your bag, and it works.

The Strapsicle Clutch for your Kindle

Strapsicle Clutch

Yes, I am a person who reads in Disney queues, but I was not about to let my Kindle get wet even inside my bag, so I kept it in the Strapsicle Clutch. It’s waterproof, easy to grab, and it doubles as a crossbody, so my hands stayed free. A niche recommendation for my fellow queue readers.

Kids’ shoelaces that you won’t have to retie

BRCĒ Kids Shoelaces

Loose shoelaces are one thing; add them trailing through sopping wet puddles and forget about it. That’s a sensory nightmare! If your kid is in sneakers, these are a game changer on a rainy day specifically.

A warm, cozy car from the airport

Blacklane Car Service

This one isn’t specifically a rainy day tip, but it absolutely saved us on a rainy day. It was pouring when we landed, and instead of standing outside fighting for a rideshare or waiting for a shuttle bus, we walked straight out to a dry black car that was already there. If you’re arriving or departing in bad weather, Blacklane is worth it for the stress alone.

Listen, if you’re planning a trip to Disney. Chances are you are going to get wet. Accept it early. Make the right adjustments. Pack the right stuff, and once you stop trying to stay dry and just commit to the day, everything shifts!

The rain is not ruining your trip. The rain is clearing out the crowds and handing you a five-minute wait for the best ride in the park.

Grocery prices have only gotten higher this year, and when you’re staring down the barrel of a holiday that centers on buying a ton of food, well, that can be a little overwhelming to plan. Whether you’re a staunch Aldi shopper or you typically stick to a different grocery store, you’ll want to know about Aldi’s Thanksgiving meal deal this year. The grocery chain has curated a shopping list that will supply all the classic Thanksgiving dishes (turkey and pumpkin pie included). It’s enough to feed 10 people, and it’ll only cost you $39.

You don’t have to be a special member, bring a coupon, sign up for a rewards program, or do anything special to secure these savings. Simply bring your Aldi-provided shopping list into your nearest store or fill your online cart with these items.

What’s Included In The $39 Aldi Thanksgiving Meal

A 16-lb. whole turkey, stuffing ingredients, dinner rolls, and more. Here’s the exact shopping list to follow, according to Aldi:

These ingredients supply everything you need to make turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie, and sides of carrots, peas, dinner rolls, cranberry sauce, and sweet potatoes.

“Thanksgiving shouldn’t require a calculator or a coupon strategy,” said Atty McGrath, CEO of Aldi, in a press release about the meal deal. “At Aldi, shoppers can put a 16-pound turkey and the Thanksgiving classics on the table for 10 people, all for under $39. No hoops. Just a really good meal at a really good price.”

Beginning Oct. 14 through Nov. 25, in-store shoppers can locate these Thanksgiving meal deal items easily; their shelves will be marked with a special turkey logo. If you shop Aldi online, you can add the entire list to your cart with one click for curbside pickup or delivery.

But what about the mashed potatoes, you say? Well Scary Mommy previously rounded up some of the best inexpensive Thanksgiving side dish recipes, including one for the most perfect mashed potatoes. Tweaking your shopping list will change your total of course, but even if you just use this Aldi list as a jumping off point for your own shopping trip, it can still help you save a little moolah.

Before we left for Orlando, I thought it would be fun to have one day of our Disney World trip totally planned by my seven-year-old daughter. I had done all the other to-dos, the scheduling, the reservation-making. We had a jam-packed week, but I didn’t want to run my family’s spirit into the ground with too much.

So, I asked my daughter to tell me exactly what she wanted to do for one day at Disney World. To my surprise, she already had a list ready.

Pin trading. Character autographs. Galaxy’s Edge. A churro. Popcorn. In that order, approximately. Her list was pretty manageable. We could do this!

What I did not have on my bingo card was that my seven-year-old would completely surprise me with her dream Disney day.

To begin, we pin traded and met some of the kindest and most interesting people! There is actually a whole portion of EPCOT where people post up with their binders of pins, ready to trade with guests. She had a blast seeing all the different pins while carefully selecting which of hers to swap.

She tracked down characters for autographs with the focus and determination of a little lady who had a job to do. Then, we park-hopped to Hollywood Studios and made it to Galaxy’s Edge. She’s on a huge Star Wars kick right now, so it felt even more special since she knew every planet, every character, every droid. In Galaxy’s Edge, we absolutely annihilated some churros and bought a refillable popcorn bucket. ($2.99 refills!)

And then my daughter spotted a nice-looking bench right outside the Millennium Falcon.

“Can we just sit here for a minute?” she asked.

My feet were throbbing, so I wasn’t going to argue. So we sat down. And she just... watched. People in matching family shirts. A dad pushing a stroller with true purpose. A little kid losing her mind over a balloon. My daughter took it all in like she was watching her favorite show, completely content, asking for nothing. And I wasn’t about to interrupt her zen.

What she wanted was the bench, and the bench she would have.

Disney World is one of those rare places that works as a full sensory experience even when you’re completely still.

The music is themed, layered, intentional, and different in every land. It’s one of those things about the parks that you don’t notice until you stop moving for a bit. The smells change as you walk: popcorn near the entrance, something warm and sugary near the bakery, that distinctly humid air that hits you when you walk past the Pirates exit. The people, smiling (or kids crying), are just fully immersed in the Disney magic.

If you let it, Disney will just wash over you.

How To Let Your Kid Plan Your Disney Day

1. Set a fair budget. This can literally be any amount you want!
2. Make sure there are guidelines. Maybe you want to say, “Okay, you get one snack, one ride, one show, etc.” to make the day seem a little more doable. Also, your kid won’t get super overwhelmed with too many options.
3. Once they pick what they want, YOU HAVE TO AGREE. Remember, this is their time!
4. This works best for kids a little older. I’d say ages 7 and up is the sweet spot.
5. Have a plan B for when things go sideways (because they will!). If a ride is closed, the character they wanted has a two-hour wait, or they melt down over the snack choices. Stay calm and offer up some alternatives; you have to keep rolling along and keep expectations realistic!

I wasn't raised to talk about money. I'm an elder millennial; our parents seemed to actively keep finances very hush-hush. In fact, discussing them at the dinner table (or anywhere else) was considered taboo. From what little I knew, though, one thing was certain: making a specific amount of money would mean I'd be comfortable for life and have the white-picket fence dream we were all sold. Which is why little me from back then would be shocked to learn I hit that number I had in my head a while ago... and yet I’m not exactly living the high life.

This topic comes up quite a bit in my friend group, comprised mostly of other millennials daring to do things differently from our parents by actually talking about money. What I've learned from these convos is that a lot of us are suspended in a state of "fine but not OK, per se" financially. Sure, it might all look nice enough on paper. The mortgage payment clears. The kids have shoes that fit. Modest vacations might make their way onto the calendar. But we also live with a constant low-level dread, a feeling in our bones, that a blown transmission or surprise ER bill could level it all.

It's not that we're drowning. Not yet, anyway. But we feel like we're permanently treading water, and that doesn't feel great either.

I reached out to experts, and they shared a few different terms to describe this. Stephanie Smith, a clinical social worker and founder of the support resource The Group Guide, calls it "living without a margin." Edward Jones senior behavioral analyst Sarah Newcomb calls it "financial vulnerability." And Morgan J. Brown, a certified financial coach and founder of Your Money Project, pegs it as "financially stable on paper but emotionally living paycheck to paycheck."

I'm obviously far from the only one feeling this way, Smith says, as it's "the most common money story I hear, far more common than active crisis."

Yep, the number moved

Sigh. Remember back in the good old days when you were convinced making $100k a year would mean you'd made it? Yeah, Smith remembers that as well. "I'm a millennial," she shares. "I believed that if I ever made $100,000, I would be rich and never worry about a thing." Then she looked it up, only to discover that $100k in 1990 is roughly $256k today. So, as Smith puts it, "We hit the number. The number moved."

Newcomb, a Gen Xer, says psychologists call this behavior anchoring. We lock in the money benchmarks we learned as kids and never update them. “The benchmark changed, but nobody told them,” she says.

And before there’s even a hint of the idea, let’s dispel it: It’s not the f*cking lattes or avocado toast to blame. Eric Croak, a certified financial planner and president of Croak Capital, points to the fixed costs that snuck in and piled up: $1,500+ a month for childcare, family deductibles that used to be dramatically smaller, extracurriculars that rival the mortgage. Smith adds that housing, childcare, and healthcare have outrun wages for decades. So, the fallout is really real. “When you finally reach that number and you’re not feeling secure, it can be worse than not reaching it at all,” Croak says.

Psychotherapist Silvia Dutchevici, founder of the Critical Therapy Institute, says we’re raised to believe money outcomes reflect personal merit. Meaning, when hard work doesn’t pay off, people don’t conclude the system is broken. “Instead,” she says, “they feel ‘I am broken.’”

A slow leak can be worse than a blowout

An actual money crisis sucks; there’s no way around that. However, it usually has parameters, edges, a space that you live between for a short period of time and then move out of. But being stuck in this state of financially OK-ish is “similar to a slow tire leak.” With emergencies, Croak points out, at least there’s something to do.

"A crisis has a shape," Smith puts it. "There is a bill, a date, a decision, often a phone number to call. People rally around a crisis. Low-grade dread has no shape, so nobody rallies, including the person living it.”

Unfortunately, your body ends up footing the bill for all this worry.

“Financial stress is survival stress,” Newcomb says. And because the brain doesn’t always distinguish a physical threat from this prolonged sense of dread, your nervous system stays on high alert. When that happens, it tends to eat up the bandwidth you’d normally spend on things like creativity and fun.

Michael Schramm, a certified financial analyst and author of the forthcoming book Emotional Finance, says “tunneling” is what takes place when your mind locks onto short-term survival and burns a ton of energy doing it. One study published in Science showed that simply considering an unexpectedly high car repair bill lowered reasoning scores among lower-income participants.

Over time, that scarcity-stress pipeline becomes your new norm. “People stop recognizing stress at all,” Dutchevici says. “They think it’s just who they are: anxious, tense, a worrier.”

Why it’s so lonely

The thing is, you mostly look fine. And even if you weren’t, most of us assume everyone around us is doing better thanks to the illusion of social media. Nobody thinks to reach out or check in.

Plus, while it seems like we talk about it more, money is still semi-taboo. “We’ll talk about sex or our mental health before we’ll say what we earn and why it isn’t enough,” says Dutchevici. And she’s not wrong — in a recent National Debt Relief and Wakefield Research survey, 60% of millennials said they’d rather publicly display their weight than their total debt.

Then there’s the difference between how we live now and how previous generations did, and many of those ways don’t show up on a bank statement.

Recounts Smith: “a grandmother 10 minutes away, a neighbor who took the kids on Tuesdays, a church that noticed when you stopped coming, a casserole when things went wrong.” Today, many families live far from relatives (or are somewhat estranged), both parents work their asses off, and a lot of people aren’t familiar enough with their neighbors to expect them to pop over with a casserole. We very much feel that we don’t have the same kind of built-in support systems our parents and grandparents did.

On top of all this, many of us don’t want to say anything because “other people have it worse.” And it’s true! Still, every expert we talked to said that doesn’t cancel out your stress. “There is no dollar amount where you’re not allowed to be stressed about money,” Croak says. Smith frequently hears “I know people have it worse,” usually as an apology. The hitch, she says, is “That has never once made a nervous system stand down. Comparison is not relief.”

Erica Sandber, consumer finance expert at BadCredit.org, keeps it short and simple: “Pain is pain.”

How to calm your nervous system

Frustratingly, we can’t count on the economy to get fixed this year. Or probably next year, either. Maybe ever. But we can make living in it feel a little less like a permanent five-alarm fire, say the experts. Their advice:

Call it out. Dutchevi suggests swapping “I’m bad with money and it makes me anxious” for “I live in an economy that makes security hard to reach, and my body is responding to that. Putting the problem where it actually belongs can bring some relief.

Plan out that worst-case scenario, all the way through. Your brain spins through about 1,000 vague what-ifs every day, so Newcomb recommends picking your biggest fear (say, a job loss) and running through it. Unemployment benefits, what you’d cut, who you’d call… whatever you might need to deal with if push came to shove. “Financial anxiety thrives on uncertainty,” she says.

Consider the two-account trick. Brown’s favorite fix for decision fatigue (aka "If I buy this, will I be able to pay that?") is keeping bill money in one checking account and moving your designated spending money into a separate one. That way you always know what you have to spend, and you know spending it won’t compromise your bills getting paid.

Build whatever mini cushion you can, whenever you can. Literally just thinking about the go-to financial advice that you should have six months’ worth of expenses saved up makes me feel like panicking. Brown encourages thinking smaller for now, pointing out that even the first $500 to $1,000 can keep a surprise from becoming a crisis.

Say it out loud to somebody in the same boat. Smith says this is the one people all too often skip (ahem, we know our parents and grandparents did!) and also the one that arguably matters most, emphasizing, “Regulation is social.” Sandberg agrees, suggesting you tell a trusted friend when you’re skipping a group dinner because you’re broke. Odds are, it’ll free them up to admit they’re stressed about money, too.

Where to get help

Pretty much across the board, the experts we spoke to recommended a combo of help: someone for the money, someone for the feelings.

• Nonprofit credit counseling. It’s free. Agencies like those in the Financial Counseling Association of America can review your budget and may work with creditors to lower interest rates and waive fees, says FCAA President Martin Lynch.
• A certified financial planner, analyst, or coach. You want someone reputable and trusted who can give you real (and realistic) numbers based on your current financial situation.
• A therapist who can help if stress is affecting your sleep, mood, or relationships. Schramm points to cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and Croak notes there is such a thing as certified financial therapists, too.
• Your people. Smith says what many of us are missing is a village: “You can not prescribe one, but you can rebuild a piece of it on purpose.” Her free directory, The Group Guide, lists peer support groups by topic and state.

And remember, you don’t have to wait until things fall apart. “No one has to be in crisis to reach out,” says Croak.

You can’t judge a book by its cover — and you can’t judge a product by its price tag. Take it from me: I’ve been writing about products for over a decade, and some of the coolest housewares I’ve tried cost next to nothing. These are undeniably the bougiest, most useful home upgrades you can make for under $20. They elevate, organize, and personalize your space, and your guests will have no idea you’re decorating on a budget.

A Jumbo Soup Mug That’s Microwave Safe

Chubacoo Jumbo Ceramic Soup Bowl with Lid

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Thanks to its 38-ounce capacity and Mediterranean-inspired print, this jumbo mug looks way more expensive than it is. That said, it’s also built for practicality: Its dishwasher- and microwave-safe ceramic can baking individual appetizers in the oven, eating ice cream while watching TV, or storing leftovers in the fridge or freezer — especially since it comes with a vented, leak-proof lid.

Modular Drawer Organizers Made From Felt

Welaxy Nordic Felt Desk Drawer Organizer (8 Pieces)

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Instead of plastic, these Nordic-inspired drawer organizers are made from soft, sustainable felt. They prevent clattering noises when used with office supplies and scratches when storing your jewelry, watches, and other valuables. This set of eight includes various shapes and sizes so you can arrange the modular pieces as desired for a custom-like fit.

A Handmade Ceramic Dispenser For Little Cups

YHOJOY Bathroom Cup Dispenser

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Turn your Dixie cups into decor with this bathroom cup dispenser. Handmade from ceramic and available in several gorgeously glazed shades, it holds a stack of 3-ounce disposable cups for mouthwash, post-brush rinsing, water breaks, and taking supplements and medication. It also has a U-shaped opening for easy retrieval and refilling.

A Glass Infuser Mug That’s Stovetop-Safe

DOPUDO Glass Tea Cup with Infuser & Lid

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Despite its delicate appearance, this tea infuser mug is surprisingly durable and functional. Its borosilicate glass construction can be placed in the microwave or straight on the stove, while its infuser insert has a fine-mesh strainer so you can steep loose-leaf or blooming tea straight in the cup. It’s also dishwasher-safe for convenient cleanup.

Magnetic Shelves For Spices, Tumblers, Lids & More

HuggieGems Magnetic Shelves (4-Pack)

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Maximize your kitchen storage without breaking out a single tool. These magnetic refrigerator shelves are made from rust-resistant metal with strong magnets along the back, so they can hold ingredients, spices, snacks, reusable bottles, and tumblers. This set of four also includes movable hooks for utensils and a rack for tumbler lids.

A Battery-Powered Lantern That Slips Between Books

WAZNFYV Mini Bookshelf Lamp

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Add vintage-inspired whimsy to your reading nook while illuminating your titles for easier browsing. This mini bookshelf lamp slips between two books with its iron plate and uses batteries to power its hanging LED lantern, which casts an amber glow across the spines. “Looks even better in person,” wrote one reviewer who called it “elegant,” “cozy,” and “well-made.”

A Wireless Doorbell With 52 Ringtone Options

LUAMB Wireless Doorbell

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If your home doesn’t have a hard-wired chime box, you can add one in seconds with this wireless doorbell. The battery-operated button is made from weather-resistant material and mounts outside your door using an adhesive sticker or screws. The receiver plugs into an outlet and works from up to 1,000 feet away, plus you can choose from 52 ringtones and five volume settings.

Protective Drawer Liners That Come In Multiple Scents & Patterns

Linda's Essentials Scented Drawer Liners (10-Pack)

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Yes, these water-resistant drawer liners protect your furniture and come in several colors and prints — but they also keep your clothing, bedding, and toiletries smelling lovely. The material is infused with a fresh linen scent, or you can opt for other fragrances like lavender, chamomile, rose, and jasmine. Cut them to size and lay them in place without the need for adhesive.

A Pumpkin Ramekin You Can Put In The Oven

FYUEROPA Pumpkin Ramekin with Lid

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Cook, bake, and serve your favorite fall recipes in this pumpkin ramekin, which elevates your tablescape and makes any dish feel infinitely more festive. While its glossy sheen and gold-tone stem make it look purely decorative, the temperature-safe porcelain can handle the oven, the microwave, the refrigerator, and the dishwasher.

A Hanging Organizer To Create Closet Cubbies

YOUDENOVA 4-Tier Hanging Closet Organizer

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Add hanging shelves to your closet rod with this four-tier hanging organizer, which comes in four colors. Each cubby has bamboo sticks and a sturdy board to maintain its structure, so you can store bulky clothing, towels, shoes, and other accessories. It also has two metal hooks for durability and a side pocket for storing smaller items.

Stylish Kitchen Towels That Absorb Water Really Well

RECYCO Waffle Kitchen Towels (Set of 2)

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Tired of hand towels and dish rags that move moisture around and take forever to dry? These tea towels “actually absorb water!” wrote one reviewer who called them “worth the price.” They’re made from absorbent microfiber with a quick-drying waffle weave, and they come in dozens of cute prints to complement your bathroom or kitchen.

A Rechargeable Bird Light That’s Also A Diffuser

YM Dragon Bedside Lamp

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Place this bird lamp on a shelf or table with its detachable wooden stand, or hang it from a hook, bedframe, or branch using the keychain-style clip. It’s USB-rechargeable for cord-free illumination, and it has a tiny hole on top that diffuses your favorite essential oils. Its light-up tummy also has three color settings and three brightness options.

Acrylic Wall Mounts For Pet Cameras & More

OAPRIRE Acrylic Floating Wall Shelves (Set of 3)

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Mount baby monitors and security cameras in the ideal spot with these small floating shelves. Made from transparent acrylic, they’re durable and discreet, plus they come with cable clips to organize wires and double-sided adhesive stickers to secure the camera right-side up or upside down. You can also use them to hold other small electronics, like speakers, virtual assistants, and electric toothbrush chargers.

A Flat-Plug Power Strip That’s “Brilliant”

TESSAN Flat Plug Power Strip

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This power strip has a near-perfect 4.8-star average rating, and one reviewer raved, “This is brilliant.” Its flat plug fits behind furniture, its slim cord redirects power up to 5 feet away, and its six-in-one design provides two USB-A ports, one USB-C port, and three AC plugs on all different sides to accommodate bulky charging bricks.

A Cushioning Non-Adhesive Rug Pad That Actually Grips

GORILLA GRIP Gripper Rug Pads

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“We have kids and a big goofy dog,” said one reviewer whose rug was constantly sliding around, but this rug gripper pad fixed the issue once and for all. Using a grippy, gridded design instead of adhesive, it adds cushioning, absorbs noise, and keeps mats, runners, and area rugs firmly in place. While it comes in tons of shapes and sizes, you can also cut it for a perfect fit.

Celestial Suncatchers That Feel Magical & Whimsical

ilclviz Crystals Suncatcher (6 Pieces)

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“The perfect addition to my kitchen window,” one reviewer wrote about these crystal suncatchers, which elicit “a magical and whimsical feeling while I’m doing mundane kitchen stuff!” Each of the six gold-tone strands contains celestial-inspired charms, geometric shapes, and crystal prisms that cast mesmerizing rainbows around your space when the sun shines through them.

A Plug-In Pendant Light That’s Easy To Hang

SoodMi Plug-in Pendant Light

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Add a lighting fixture virtually anywhere without cutting holes in the sheetrock or messing with the electrical. This plug-in pendant light has a 15-foot cord, a metal shade in your choice of several colors, and an E26 base that’s compatible with most bulbs. It even comes with two screw-in hooks for mounting. The exposed wire adds to the industrial vibe, plus it has an in-line switch for convenient control.

Arched Wooden Shelves That Double As Wall Decor

Artilady Boho Floating Shelves (Set of 2)

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With their Art Deco-inspired arches and natural wood construction, these floating shelves function as both eye-catching decor and wall-mounted storage. Hang them in your bathroom to hold air freshener spray and extra rolls of toilet paper, in your living area to display plants and picture frames, or in your entryway to catch keys, mail, and sunglasses. The hooks on the back make them easy to mount.

A Glass Foaming Soap Dispenser That Looks Like Decor

zuxzmj Glass Foaming Hand Soap Dispenser

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Replace that plastic soap bottle with a reusable container that doubles as decor. This foaming hand soap dispenser is made from thick, tinted glass with an elegant embossed texture. Press the wide pump to dispense a rich lather straight into your palm. Its 13.5-ounce capacity means fewer refills, while its foaming mechanism is compatible with most pre-mixed refills, tablets, and DIY soap mixtures.

An Affordable Knife Set With Incredible Ratings

Astercook Knife Set (13 Pieces)

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Get an all-new set of knives for an incredible price — and don’t let the affordability factor fool you. They currently have an average 4.8-star rating from over 6,600 reviewers. The dishwasher-safe set includes six different carbon-steel knives with matching sheaths and kitchen scissors. “I can't believe how good these knives are,” wrote one reviewer who called them “so sharp and easy to use.”

Waterproof Covers To Protect Your Pillows

Niagara Waterproof Pillow Protectors (4-Pack)

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Mattress protectors are a brilliant way to safeguard your bed, but what about your pillows? These zippered pillow protectors are 100% waterproof to prevent dust, sweat, and unwanted odors from seeping into the filling. They come in a set of four for an incredible price, and they’re soft, quiet, and machine-washable for comfort and easy upkeep.

A Handwoven Rattan Basket That Looks So Elevated

Oavostd Rattan Wicker Basket

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Fruit, bread, eggs, candy, nuts — whatever you serve in this rattan wicker basket, it’ll look infinitely more elevated on your countertop or tablescape. Each one is hand-woven from tropical rattan without any paint or chemicals, and you can choose from three sizes, with or without a wavy rim. You can also use it as a shelf basket or a catch-all bowl for entryway essentials.

A Bedside Water Carafe & Cup Set For Welcoming Hydration

DmmyAlzx Bedside Water Carafe & Glass Set

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Meet your hydration goals before bed, help your guests feel right at home in their temporary bedroom, or store your mouthwash in style. This water carafe holds up to 21.6 ounces and comes with a matching lid that doubles as a tumbler. It’s made from lead-free glass with an embossed arched pattern that makes it feel expensive and elegant.

Abstract Artwork That Holds Your Clutter

WENSHUO Abstract Ceramic Holder

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Decor that doubles as organization adds style to your space while helping you corral your clutter. This abstract holder looks like modern artwork, but its hollow interior and sturdy base make it great for storing pens, pencils, makeup brushes, eyeglasses, remote controls, and more. Since it’s made from ceramic, you can even use it as a vase.

Flickering LED Bulbs That Look Like Real Flames

KEMINO LED Flame Light Bulbs (2-Pack)

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I use these flame bulbs in my outdoor light fixtures to give the front of my home a spooky feel during Halloween and a cozy vibe during the holidays (one that doesn’t outshine the rest of my decorations). While they look like realistic lantern flames, they use LED lights that save energy and remain cool to the touch. Screw them into virtually any E27 sockets to transform your indoor and outdoor lights.

An Acrylic Cutting Board That’s Sleek & Easy To Sanitize

MEWSDEN Acrylic Cutting Board with Counter Lip

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This unique cutting board is crafted from food-grade acrylic, making it shatter-resistant and easy to sanitize to prevent cross-contamination. It also has a sleek aesthetic that complements modern kitchens, and its L-shaped design hugs the corner of your countertop, keeping it securely in place and protecting the edge from damage.

Adhesive Bins You Can Install Almost Anywhere

Lae Nuvole Wall Mounted Storage Bins (2-Pack)

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Mount these storage bins in the kitchen to hold ingredients, in the pantry to store produce and snacks, in the bathroom to stash sponges and toiletries, above your art desk to organize supplies, or in your kids’ room to corral toys. The included adhesive strips stick to most smooth surfaces without any drilling, or you can stack them inside cubbies and on countertops.

A Hanging Macrame Basket For Fruit, Toys & More

yuuzue 3-Tier Macrame Hanging Basket

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Get your produce off the countertop and turn it into a stunning display feature. This macrame hanging basket has three tiers of wood-rimmed bowls woven together with cotton rope. The plush tassels add texture and charm, while the wooden ring allows for easy hanging. You can also use it to store towels and toilet paper in the bathroom, toys in the kids’ room, or hanging plants on the porch.

The Best Hand Towels For The Money, According To Reviewers

REDKISS Striped Hand Towels (3-Pack)

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When it comes to bougie home upgrades, a little luxury goes a long way. These striped hand towels are made from 100% cotton that’s plush and absorbent. Each one has a reversible striped pattern, so you can choose the palette that best matches your bathroom or kitchen. “Best towels for the money,” one reviewer raved. “They are so thick and they look like I spent a fortune on them.”

A Rechargeable Ceiling Light That Looks Hard-Wired

GOEBLESON Motion Sensor Ceiling Light with Remote

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Add overhead lighting to any room without worrying about wiring. This motion-sensing ceiling light looks like a hardwired recessed fixture, but it’s actually rechargeable for up to 13 hours of wide-angle illumination. Use the peel-and-stick magnetic plate for easy yet removable mounting, and customize the ambiance with three color temperatures and stepless dimming.

A Sleek Display Riser For Perfume, Makeup & More

Lifewit Tiered Display Riser

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Turn your perfume collection into a sleek display with this tiered riser. Made from transparent acrylic, its four shelves assemble without tools, while its 9-inch height lets you peruse your entire selection at a glance. You can also use it to store and display makeup, skin care serums, nail polish bottles, spices, or collectible figurines.

Mess-Free Packets That Turn Flames Rainbow

Magical Flames Colorful Flames (10-Pack)

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Make your next firepit unforgettable. These color packets contain non-toxic compounds that turn the flames a magical, mesmerizing rainbow. Each one is designed to last for over an hour, and the packets burn away without residue for a mess-free experience. You can use them on any wood-burning fire, including fire pits, campfires, and indoor fireplaces.

A Silicone Under-Sink Mat To Contain Spills

MIFADFAO Under Sink Mat

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Line your bathroom or kitchen cabinet with this under-sink mat to protect the wood from plumbing leaks, makeup mishaps, and spills from cleaning products. It’s available in several measurements to fit most standard cabinet sizes, and it’s made from silicone with a grippy texture and raised edges to contain moisture.

Reusable Drink Sleeve For Dry, Comfy Sipping

Xumbtvs Reusable Iced Coffee Sleeves (3-Pack)

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Say goodbye to cold hands and wet cup holders. These drink sleeves come in a set of three sizes to fit virtually any to-go cup. They’re made from thick neoprene to absorb moisture and insulate against temperature, and since they’re washable and reusable, they’re way more eco-friendly than single-use sleeves. Choose from dozens of cute patterns.

A Big, Shiny Spoon Rest That Only Looks Expensive

VanlonPro Stainless Steel Spoon Rest

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Thanks to its solid stainless-steel construction and generous size that fits most oversized utensils, this spoon rest looks like it cost a pretty penny. In actuality, it’s shockingly cheap, and it comes in several shiny metal finishes to match the hardware and appliances in your kitchen. Use it to keep drips off your countertop and throw it in the dishwasher when you’re done cooking.

Peel-&-Stick Floral Wallpaper That’s Moody & Elegant

Vintique Peel & Stick Floral Wallpaper

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Equal parts elegant and moody, this floral wallpaper helps you transform a space on a budget and with minimal mess. Its peel-and-stick backing doesn’t require any glue, while its vinyl surface is thick, waterproof, and easy to clean for convenient upkeep. It’s also removable for renters, and you can use it on furniture, drawers, and appliances, too.

A Sunset Projector For A Dreamy Golden-Hour Vibe

Tsrarey Sunset Lamp Projection

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Customize the color and brightness of this sunset projector lamp using the inline switch or an app on your phone. Using a rotatable glass lens, it creates a circular illumination for a dreamy golden-hour effect. “Instantly changes the atmosphere of the room,” wrote one reviewer who loves “having different colors to choose from depending on the mood or the type of photos or videos I want to create.”

A Pretty Bath Mat That’s Also Functional

Casasphere Scalloped Rug

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With its scalloped edges and sky-blue trim, this luxurious mat gives your bathroom a cute, coastal vibe. You can also choose from several other color combinations to match your aesthetic. The plush microfiber is soft, absorbent, and machine-washable, while the anti-skid backing grips your floors to prevent slipping and sliding.

Insulating Bowl Huggers Reviewers Can’t Live Without

LIBERHAUS Microwave Bowl Cozy Holders (4-Pack)

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“This is one of those items I didn’t know I needed and now can’t live without it,” one reviewer raved about these bowl cozies. Their rounded shape fits most plates and bowls up to 7 inches in diameter, while their quilted insulation protects your hands from burns. That way, you can hold leftovers straight out of the microwave or a hot serving of soup right off the stove.

A Whimsical Night-Light That Turns On Automatically

L LOHAS LED Night Light

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This plug-in night-light is way more whimsical than your average lamp. Its dual-sided design casts sparkly beams of warm-white light in both directions, illuminating your space while remaining eye-friendly. It also has a built-in dusk-to-dawn sensor, so it turns on automatically at night and off during the day to save power, and you can choose between three brightness settings.

A Shower Caddy That Installs With Suction Cups

LEVERLOC Removable Shower Caddy

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Once you stick most shower caddies to the wall, they’re not coming off anytime soon. This self-draining shower caddy uses strong dual suction cups instead of stubborn adhesives, so you can remove it for cleaning or repositioning. Its tool-free installation takes mere seconds, and it’s durable enough to support up to 22 pounds of bottles, sponges, and cloths.

A Mattress Protector That’s Fully Waterproof

BEDLORE Waterproof Mattress Protector

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Protect your mattress against spills, sweat, and accidents. This deep-pocket mattress cover comes in several colors and sizes, including less common measurements like twin XL and queen RV. Even though it’s 100% waterproof, it’s noiseless and breathable for comfort, and you can wash it in the machine and tumble-dry it on low.

Rechargeable Lights You Can Mount Anywhere

MCGOR Under Cabinet Lighting (2-Pack)

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Get custom under-cabinet lighting without hiring an electrician, or automatically brighten up dark closets and hallways. These rechargeable light bars come with magnetic adhesive brackets, so you can stick them anywhere and remove them with ease. They also have five brightness settings and an optional motion sensor, so they turn on automatically when you approach and turn off when you leave.

A Mini Label Maker That’s So Easy To Use

Nelko Label Maker Machine

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I gifted this label maker to my fiancé (a videographer and tech nerd) for Christmas, and he spent the entire morning labeling all his equipment. It connects to an app on your phone via Bluetooth, so you can design custom stickers and wirelessly print them on demand. You also get a roll of thermal sticker paper, which is smudge-proof and way more affordable than ink.

A Chic Shower Curtain That’s Washable & Waterproof

Siiluminisoy Textured Shower Curtain

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With its textured chevron pattern, tassel trim, and linen-like fabric, this tufted shower curtain looks a lot more expensive than it is, helping you elevate your bathroom on a budget. It also has a waterproof coating to repel moisture, metal grommets for durability, and a gentle weight to prevent billowing. Get it in tons of sizes and colors (all machine-washable) to suit your home.

Ceramic Coasters That Are Shockingly Absorbent

Lahome Marble Style Coasters (Set of 4)

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These round coasters use a mix of geode-inspired patterns to create a stunning sunset design, and their ceramic construction soaks up spills and condensation before they can damage your furniture. They also have a cork base to prevent slipping and scratches, plus they’re easy to clean and large enough to accommodate most mugs, tumblers, and cups.

A Wired Wall Sconce You Can Install Virtually Anywhere

NOTOC Retro Wall Sconce

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Install this industrial metal wall sconce over artwork to illuminate your favorite pieces, in your reading nook or work area to help you stay focused, or on either side of your bed to replace bulky nightstand lamps. It’s compatible with most E26 bulbs (sold separately), and its long cord has an in-line switch for easy control. Best of all, it rotates over 300 degrees, so you can point the beam wherever you need it.

A Couch Cover That Doesn’t Feel Like A Compromise

hyha Protective Couch Cover

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This isn’t your grandmother’s couch cover. Its velvety fabric and quilted, cushioned interior protect your sofa against pet fur, scratches, spills, and stains — all without compromising on style or comfort. It also stays in place thanks to its grippy backing, and you can machine-wash the whole thing to keep it looking and smelling fresh.

A Mug Warmer That’s The “Best Invention Ever”

KitchekShop Mug Warmer

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If you like to sip your morning beverage slowly throughout the day, this desktop mug warmer is the “best invention ever,” said one reviewer who would “give it 10 stars” if they could. Its large, fast-heating plate fits most mugs, while its four settings let you customize the temperature, so your coffee or tea stays hot until the last sip. It’s also easy to clean and has an automatic shut-off with adjustable timer settings.

Colorful Bowls That Are Virtually Unbreakable

HOTEC Unbreakable Bowls (8-Pack)

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Add color to your indoor and outdoor tablescapes without having to worry about chips, cracks, and shatters. These unbreakable bowls are made from wheat-straw fiber with reinforced rims and sturdy bases. They’re also BPA-free, dishwasher-safe, microwave-safe, and heat-resistant up to 212 degrees Fahrenheit. This set of eight includes all different shades, or you can opt for solid-color sets.

A Stunning Corner Shelf For Plants, Books, Or Frames

Artilady Corner Shelf Hanging

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Turn an empty corner into a lush plant display, a cozy reading nook, or a mini gallery filled with picture frames. This floating corner shelf combines two pine-wood platforms with macramé-style cotton rope, complete with tassels and wooden beads. It’s easy to install with a nail or hook (sold separately), and its two-tier design is sturdy enough to support up to 20 pounds.

Sustainable Cork Leather Organizers For Any Room

HOMIEAZICOZI Cork Leather Pen Holders (2-Pack)

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Made from cork leather in your choice of virtually any color, these storage containers add sustainable organization to any room in your home. Use them to store office supplies on your work desk, pencils and markers in your art area, makeup brushes on your vanity, or remote controls and eyeglasses next to your bed. They’re waterproof and easy to assemble, plus they lay flat when they’re not in use.

A Travel-Friendly Case That Holds 7 Days Of Pills

Sequence Pillar 7-Day Pill Case

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Despite its sleek profile and TSA-approved design, this compact pill case holds up to seven days of medications, vitamins, and supplements. Each daily compartment holds several pills, and its slide-out case makes for leak-proof storage on the go and easy accessibility when it’s time to take your medication. Made from wheat-straw plastic, it’s durable and dishwasher-safe.

A Soothing Shower Lamp That’s Also A Projector

Tedmos Waterproof Shower Lamp

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“Adds the coziest ambient light to my shower,” wrote one reviewer who uses this two-in-one lamp “instead of the harsh overhead light for a moodier, spa-like feel.” It’s waterproof and rechargeable with 16 color options, and if you remove the shade, it turns into an aurora projector that casts swirling patterns on the walls and ceiling.

Adhesive Slide-Out Trays For DIY Drawers

SOUJOY Under-Desk Slide Out Trays (3-Pack)

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No desk drawers? No problem. Create your own with these adhesive slide-out trays. They stick to the underside of most tabletops to provide pull-out storage for pens, pencils, scissors, charging cables, and other office supplies. You can also use them beneath shelves to maximize vertical space or under your vanity to store makeup.

A Cable Management Box That Looks So Chic

FABROK Cable Management Box

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Even if everything else is clean, cord clutter can make a space look messy and chaotic. Stash your power strip and cords in this cable management box to neaten up your work area or charging station. Its oval shape and fluted texture make it look like chic decor, but it’s made from fire-resistant material with side slits for wire routing and a lid for stacking.

A Magnetic Shelf That Turns Your Stovetop Into Storage

AWOKE Stovetop Shelf

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Smart organization often involves turning an otherwise unused space into accessible storage. This stovetop shelf does exactly that by utilizing the top of your stove’s control panel to hold salt, spices, condiments, oil bottles, and more. Its 30-inch size fits most flat-top stoves, while its magnetic base clings to metal surfaces without tools or damage. The silicone construction is also easy to clean, scratch-proof, and heat-resistant.

Metallic Wine Glass Markers That Wash Off

GAINWELL Wine Glass Markers (8-Pack)

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These wine glass markers don’t just make your next gathering more fun. The non-toxic ink lets your guests mark their glasses in one of eight vivid, metallic colors — but it comes off in the dishwasher, so your drinkware is good as new for next time. You can also use them to decorate ceramic plates or label wine bottles for gifting.

A Blender Whisk That Spins As You Pump

Newness Stainless Steel Whisk Blender

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At first glance, this whisk blender may look like your average whisk, but it has 10 stainless steel loops and an internal rotating device that spins the head while you pump the handle up and down. While it works without cords or batteries, it makes quick work of scrambled eggs, cake batter, gravy, custard, lattes, whipped cream, and more.

A Roll-Out Fridge Caddy With Adjustable Dividers

YouCopia Fridge Caddy

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How often do you stash things in the back of the refrigerator, only to forget you have them? This BPA-free fridge caddy functions as a pull-out drawer, so you can browse and access condiments, produce, and snacks in the back. Its rubber-coated wheels roll smoothly without scratching, while its built-in handle allows for a sturdy grip. It even has two adjustable dividers for custom organization.

A Magnetic Acrylic Board To Keep Everyone On Task

PigPotParty Acrylic Magnetic To-Do List

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Keep the whole family informed and on task with this acrylic to-do list board. Its magnetic corners cling to the refrigerator without damage, while its three checklist columns give you space to jot down to-dos, groceries, and appointments. The board also comes with eight vibrant markers with eraser caps and a cloth for full-board cleaning.

Sleek Organizer Bins That Install With Adhesive

Lae Nuvole Wall Mounted Storage Bins (2-Pack)

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These fluted organizer caddies come with adhesive hooks, so you can mount them to just about any smooth surface in your home. Install them next to your bed to hold remotes and glasses, in your bathroom to store toiletries and toothbrushes, in your pantry to organize snacks and produce, or inside your cabinets to free up shelf space. Available in clear or green, the material is food-safe and BPA-free.

A Quilted Makeup Bag That’s Cute & Romantic

uekeboag Quilted Makeup Bag

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Romanticize your next trip with this quilted toiletry bag, or use it to organize your cosmetics at home. It’s available in tons of cute, coquette-inspired prints, and each one has a roomy interior for ample storage, a mesh pouch for organization, dual zippers for accessibility, and a padded handle for easy carrying. Some reviewers also use it to store knitting materials or baby essentials.

Magnetic Racks With Bonus Hanging Hooks

Sevenblue Magnetic Spice Racks (4-Pack)

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These magnetic spice racks clear up space in your cabinets and keep your favorite seasonings handy while you’re cooking. They attach to your refrigerator, microwave, or other metal appliances using strong magnets, and their large-capacity design holds most bottles, jars, and containers. This set of four also includes movable hooks for hand towels, oven mitts, and utensils.

A Jewelry Stand With 4 Tiers Of Storage

Lolalet 4-Tier Jewelry Organizer Stand

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If you’re sick of jewelry boxes that leave your favorite pieces in a tangled heap, this jewelry stand organizes your collection while turning it into vanity-top decor. It has 12 hooks for bracelets and necklaces, velvet-lined rolls for rings and studs, and two tiered trays for watches, perfume, and more. Its wood-and-metal construction also gives it a chic, modern look.

Iliza Shlesinger’s very first Netflix special, War Paint, was the first stand-up set that made me, a young millennial woman, feel like I was in on the joke. Shlesinger’s comedy centers women’s thoughts and experiences with a unique incisiveness I’d never witnessed before (or since, for that matter). The fact that our personal timelines have very closely aligned — from dating and going out with friends to getting engaged, wedding planning, and having kids — means that her comedy has always felt incredibly relevant to my life. She’s usually delivering precisely the punchlines I need to hear, right when I need to hear them most.

Scary Mommy sat down with Shlesinger for the first time since we profiled her in 2022, when her daughter Sierra was just months old. Now she’s a mom of two: 4-year-old Sierra and 2-year-old Ethan. She’s also the face of a new Pampers campaign, lending their latest launch her signature comedic stylings. And much to my delight (but not my surprise), she is every bit as hysterical and insightful in conversation as she is on stage.

Scary Mommy: Let’s talk about your recent partnership with Pampers. They’ve relaunched their wipe packaging with a new opening that actually dispenses just one wipe, instead of a chain of like, six at a time. And they did it because enough moms cited it as a daily frustration.

Iliza Shlesinger: Part of why I wanted to do this Pampers campaign was because I've actually experienced the thing where you grab the wipe and there's multiple wipes just connected to each other. And when they pitched it to me, I was like, "Oh, I am that mom." And they're like, "We fixed it.”

Life isn't supposed to be hard. In a world where everything is met with an AI chatbot and you cannot get someone on the phone, the fact that a whole corporation listened and they were like, "We're going to make it easier," because it does feel like a lot of time the whole objective is to make parenting as hard as possible and to make life for women as hard as possible. So I think as a woman, I'm just like, "The fact that someone listened meant everything."

Now, if only children's furniture companies would also listen to us because I cannot read these Dutch instructions and use an Allen wrench one more time. I cannot do it anymore.

SM: What are some other unexpected little frustrations about parenting that have irked you along the way?

IS: Oh my God, little? I think there's this weird pull of wanting your child more than anything, thinking about them, of being obsessed with them, being so in love with them, and yet really not wanting to be around them. Parenting is having your heart broken and split open and being in love with someone and being like, "I just need someone to take you every 15 minutes from me." So it is this really strange push-pull of the second I'm with them, I'm like, "Can you just go watch TV because I need to check my phone?" Yeah, I've never been so deeply obsessed.

SM: And I'm going to look at pictures of you while I do it, but go over there.

IS: That's exactly right. I'm going to look at a picture of you when you were younger and you didn't have an opinion on something random.

SM: I was going back through some of your recent clips from Ask Iliza, and I love the one where your kids bust in on you filming and you’re having to parent on camera and help them make amends. You went on to say nothing makes you feel like a bigger loser than filming and having your kids come in. Why do you think parenting in front of people or on camera feels so… bad?

IS: Anytime you're trying to do something other than parent and then the parenting world comes sledding right in, you're like, no, I bought this nice camera. I'm trying to present myself as a professional who's funny and got all the answers. And then your kid's like, "I want a snack."

Parenting is unprofessional and it's unsexy. Nobody wants to see you ever take a naked selfie and your kid's toys are in the background. It's like, oh, that's a bummer. There should not be anything sexy about kids. It really is two separate worlds, and you have to keep those separate also for deep legal and moral reasons. But I think our kids show, in a weirdly beautiful way, the ugly, imperfect parts about us because we also, and I hate that I got this from Instagram, but we also have never done this before.

SM: Probably my favorite part of parenting is the funny shit my kid says. He will just roast you on the spot without even really meaning to. What are some of the funniest things your kids have said lately?

IS: People can eat me alive for this: My child does not have a phone. She does not have an iPad. But she sees Mommy has a phone addiction, so therefore she wants one. She'll hold her hand up and she'll press the buttons in her hand. And I said, “Sierra, please go clean your room.” And she says, “I can't find my room. I have to look it up on Google Maps.” And I was like, that's so painfully beautiful and awful and brilliant at the same time.

I remember wanting to have a deep connection with her when she was 2 and like, you kind of hope that your daughter has just come from a spiritual realm? I was like, “Do you remember anything from before you were born?” Just seeing if there was something there. And she just looked at me and I was like, oh my God, here it comes. She just went, “Nope, I have to poop.”

SM: I love that. OK, one more parenting question: You do some of the best riffs on cultural topics, like your HomeGoods and Costco shopping videos. What niche or trend in the parenting internet space is deserving of satire?

IS: That is a great question, and the answer is all of it. Oh my gosh, this is going to upset so many people, but I do not share my children's faces. I think the promotion of your child, constantly sharing everything about your child — not a choice I would make. There is this millennial urge to be like, warts and all, here's how imperfect it is. But even in doing that, you are still trying to show off a type of perfection. I guess I've been studying online culture long enough to not really want to do that anymore.

There is this part of me, even though I'm a comedian, that thinks motherhood and my children and this time in their lives is so sacred, I kind of want to share less of it because when you offer it up, you cast in amber what people think of your parenting and you and your children. And frankly, it's none of these lunatics’ business, so I do it quite sparingly.

There's also this one type of video where women will be like, "Let's see if my husband can outrun me," and then she'll take off running, and she's like six months postpartum and her husband who's a Navy SEAL is like, "Watch this." And I'm like, "You'd better be able to run down someone half your size and a quarter of your weight." My taxes go to that. Are you kidding me? And my whole thing is you don't see these videos being made in places like LA. “Let's see if my husband, who runs the writers' room for Ghosts, can run me down. We met at a coffee house.”

I just think we are trying to parse out as millennials wanting to feel desired and sexy and young, but also balancing parenthood. So everyone's figuring it out, but you will not be watching me run at a very slow pace away from my husband who's three times bigger than me anytime soon. I think it's so weird.

SM: What projects are coming up for you, and can I count on another special coming to a streaming platform near me?

IS: I plan to shoot an hour. I cannot give a ton of details about it because we haven't announced it yet, but it will be in 2027 and my Free Nights & Weekends tour kicks off in January. So I took a little break, very excited about that. I'm going to go entertain the troops with the USO — because that's a cause that's near and dear to me — here in a few weeks. I created a movie called Chasing Summer that went to Sundance this year and we just got our release date, so that is going to be a whole separate thing.

And then of course we have Ask Iliza Anything, the podcast, and we have Slow Sunday. As a creative person, I deeply believe in constantly creating art and letting all the beautiful things in life, frustrating or not, affect and inform the art that I make.

SM: My last question before I let you go is this: Our readers (and me too soon) are squarely in perimenopause territory right now. Can we expect any perimenopause jokes or bits from you in the future?

IS: God, every fiber of my being wants to be like, "I'm not in perimenopause. I'm just really juicy and I'm thinking about having five more kids." For me, it's less about the perimenopause of it and more about the middle ages, as I call it. A lot of my standup now is about deeply exploring the thoughts and feelings that I thought were unique to me at this age. But the more I speak to women my age, I'm realizing we are all in this together. So I do want to shine a light on that.

I am working on a joke right now about how I don't like talking about perimenopause, not because it's embarrassing, but because I can't get a word out without some woman named Barbara who's actually in menopause kicking the door down and being like, "Just you wait, it gets worse." And I'm like, "Let us elder millennials just experience some mood swings and light night sweats without you telling me how you cracked your pelvic girdle sneezing, Susan.”

This interview has been lightly edited for length and clarity.

Raising a kid is a series of crash courses — from clipping teeny-tiny fingernails to defusing tantrums, you name it. And when your little one has eczema, it can feel like taking a class in which you’re (somehow) both the student and the teacher.

When my older daughter first started showing signs of eczema as an infant in the form of itchy, rashy skin, I didn’t think it was that big a deal, mostly because no one in my family had it. But now that I’m three years in, I’ve learned that helping manage my daughter’s eczema isn’t just a matter of slathering on lotion and calling it a day. There’s a lot more that goes into keeping her skin healthy on a daily basis, and into making sure she feels comfortable and capable no matter what.

​Tricky? Sure. But it’s worth the extra effort. “Managing eczema with your child rather than simply managing it for your child is the key,” says John Browning, M.D., a double board-certified pediatric dermatologist in San Antonio, Texas. “The earlier we can help children take ownership of their skin, the more likely they are to develop good habits that translate into better control over the long term.” With that in mind, here are the parenting tweaks that can help.

​Take their complaints seriously.

When my daughter tells me an area on her body is itchy, I have a process: We go a little slower after bath time so she can point out all the spots where she’s itchy. I’ll also ask her if her skin is bothering her if I notice her scratching her neck or back during the day. That way, she knows that discomfort is not (and shouldn’t be!) the norm.

​Joceyln Gandelman, M.D., a board-certified dermatologist in New York, does the same, encouraging her daughter “to show me areas that itch and have eczema and help identify which areas need cream,” she says. If it doesn’t seem like the area actually needs a medicated cream, “then I put Vaseline on instead — and I gently let her know that one looks okay, but will get Vaseline,” she says. That way, her daughter can learn to tell eczema from healthy skin.

​Let them pitch in.

My daughter has been dealing with mild to moderate eczema since she was about six months old, so she’s used to our post-bath moisturizing routine. As she’s gotten older, though, she’s wanted to do the latter on her own — so I give her a dab of moisturizer to apply herself. I do it because she asked, but it turns out, it’s actually a good thing: Having kids help can build a link between their eczema routine and comfortable skin. “I like to help children understand the connection between using their treatment and how their skin looks and feels,” says Browning. “Over time, the goal is for the child to take pride in caring for their skin.”

​And Gandelman, for her part, empowers her daughter by teaching her the names of all of her eczema creams. She also ties the medications into learning the alphabet, making it feel more fun and even educational.

If your kid’s resistant, frame it as a “this or that” situation. “For example, a parent can choose two good moisturizers and let the child decide which one they prefer,” says Browning. He also recommends asking whether they want to apply a topical medication in the morning or at night, or if they want you or them to apply it. “This gives children a sense of control without making treatment optional,” he explains.

​Make a game plan for flares.

For the most part, moisturizer is all we need to keep my daughter’s eczema under control. But when she does have a flare — usually after swimming or in dry weather — we have a plan to step it up: Right after her bath, I apply her topical medication first, then lock it in with a lotion, then follow up in the morning with more moisturizer.

​“Some children do experience unpredictable flares from heat, sweat, or environmental exposure,” says Browning, who stresses that eczema shouldn’t keep kids from doing things they like, like playing outside. “In those situations, having a plan — such as showering or bathing after an activity or using an appropriate moisturizer to help with itching — can give them the confidence to keep doing the things they enjoy.”

Know your own limits.

Most parents know atopic dermatitis can be an at-home game, from applying moisturizer after a (not too hot) bath to using a mineral-based sunscreen that won’t potentially trigger a flare. But if I’ve been moisturizing the same area for several days with no improvement, then I’m calling in the doctor. There’s only so much I can do as her parent — who is, notably, not a doctor — so I need to be cognizant when something isn’t working and ask for help.

I want my daughter to be able to decide when she needs to call in a pro, too. So, “if they don't like their current treatment, they should talk with their dermatologist rather than simply stopping treatment,” says Browning. “We now have many effective treatment options.” There’s no reason for me to double down on something that isn’t working when I could get my daughter comfortable more quickly instead. After all, it’s her skin — and I want her to feel good in it.

Presented by BDG Studios

If there’s anything more intimidating than a newborn baby, it might be newborn baby diapers. Newborns love to deliver a massive blowout at the worst times, the clever little darlings. They have umbilical cord stumps that sit right in the worst spot for a snug diaper fit. Then there are the different sizes of newborns — the best newborn diaper for a teeny tiny preemie just won’t fit a big ole 10-pounder who needs extra leg room for their generous thighs. You’ll change so many diapers in those early days that you’ll start dreaming about doing it in the 20 minutes you get to sleep every night.

Diapers can be your worst enemy as a new parent if they don’t work for your baby, and your best friend when they do. Here we have compiled a list of your very best friends.

How We Chose

1. Cord-stump fit
2. Leak/blowout protection
3. Availability in preemie and bigger-newborn sizes
4. Cost per change
5. Skin-safety formulation

Best Newborn Diapers of 2026

1. Best Overall Newborn Diaper: Pampers Swaddlers

• Pampers Swaddlers are the top pick for newborns in 2026, thanks to a contoured umbilical cord notch, a clever wetness indicator strip that turns from yellow to blue when baby is wet (giving tired parents a heads-up), and All-Around LeakGuard with Blowout Barrier at the back waist.
• Parents and pediatricians alike have raved about the softness of the material in these diapers, which are hypoallergenic, elemental chlorine-free, paraben-free, and free of natural rubber latex.
• As of a June 2026 reformulation, Pampers Swaddlers are now fragrance-free in every size.

2. Best Newborn Diaper for Cord-Stump Care: Pampers Swaddlers

• The AAP notes the cord-stump typically falls away in 7-21 days, and recommends 8-12 diaper changes per day, so cord-stump protection is vital in newborn diapers.
• Available in the smallest sizes (N, size 1, size 2), Swaddlers’ cord-stump cutouts help prevent chafing around baby’s healing umbilical cord-stump.
• Pampers says Swaddlers’ cord-stump cutouts offer the added benefit of keeping moisture away from baby’s belly button, exposing it to the air and helping to dry it out in those first few weeks.

3. An Option for Bigger Newborns: Rascals Premium Size 1 or 2

• Rascals Premium in Size 1 (10 to 14 pounds) or Size 2 (12 to 18 pounds) offers a more generous leg opening for bigger newborns.
• Rascals Premium features stretchy side tabs, adjustable waistbands, and stretchy backs, which the brand says accommodate bigger newborns.
• Rascals Premium diapers do not have a cord stump cutout in Size 2, so fold the waistband below the stump.

4. An Option for Preemie and NICU Sizing: Huggies Little Snugglers Preemie

• Huggies Little Snugglers come in Nano Preemie (for babies up to 2 pounds), Micro Preemie (for babies up to 4 pounds), and regular Preemie (for babies up to 6 pounds).
• Huggies says the diapers are specially fitted to stay snug on smaller legs, and they offer a cord stump cutout to help protect sensitive little belly buttons.

5. Best Newborn Diaper for Leaks and Blowouts: Pampers Swaddlers

• Pampers Swaddlers’ All-Around LeakGuard with Blowout Barrier sits at the back waist to prevent mess from spreading up baby’s back.
• Pampers says it “helps to stop leaks from every angle.”

6. An Option for Budget-Conscious Families: Rascals Premium Size N

• Store-brand diapers like Walmart’s Rascals Premium typically cost a little less per diaper than name brands.
• Rascals says its diapers have a four-layer HydroLock Core and high waistband, and are dermatologist-tested.

7. An Option for Subscription Convenience: Hello Bello

• Hello Bello sells diaper and wipes bundles by subscription, delivered on a schedule you choose and can adjust as your baby sizes up.
• Hello Bello says its diapers are “cloud soft,” made with plant-based ingredients and free of chlorine, synthetic fragrances or odor inhibitors, parabens, and soy products.

8. An Option for Premium, Eco-Minded Families: Coterie

• Coterie says its fragrance-free, hypoallergenic diapers have a “cashmere-like” cloth feel.
• The diapers feature a special cord-stump notch on newborn sizes.
• Coterie diapers are generally sold as a direct-to-consumer subscription product at a higher cost than more budget-friendly options.

Newborn Size vs. Size 1

Check the weight overlap

• Newborn diapers typically fit babies up to 10 pounds, and Size 1 typically starts around 8 pounds. So, a 9-pound baby may fit either.
• Ranges vary by brand.

Look for leg gaps

• Newborn diapers are shorter in length and narrower around the cuff.
• Gaps or leaks at the leg openings mean the diaper isn’t fitting your baby’s thighs.

Watch for red marks

• Newborn diapers often feature special umbilical cord cutouts to keep babies comfortable before their cord stump falls off.
• Red marks at the waist or thighs mean the diaper is too tight. If you see gapping or red marks, it’s likely your sign to size up.

What a Newborn Diaper Budget Really Looks Like

• Newborns need 8 to 12 diaper changes a day in the first weeks, according to the AAP. That means parents can expect to change around 56-84 diapers per week in the first month of a baby’s life, or roughly 240 to 360 diapers in the first month alone.
• Store brands generally cost less per diaper than name brands, and bulk counts lower the per-diaper cost. Pampers Swaddlers are widely available in bulk counts.
• Babies often grow out of newborn size diapers in the first 2-4 weeks, so it’s a good idea to stock up on a few packs of both size N and size 1 before baby arrives.
• Prices change often, so check current retail pricing before stocking up.

Umbilical Cord Care 101

Yes, the cord stump can look alarming, but what you’re looking at is likely normal. Here’s what really matters.

Practicing dry cord care

• Keep baby’s umbilical cord stump clean and exposed to air so it dries and falls off naturally, typically within 7 to 21 days per the AAP.
• Clean away any stool or fluids around the cord stump with a wet cotton swab, then pat it dry. Don’t use rubbing alcohol unless your pediatrician specifies it.

Folding the diaper below the stump

• Folding the waistband below the stump is an important part of dry cord care because it keeps it from rubbing and lets air reach the area.
• Many newborn diapers include a special contoured cord notch, like the one on Pampers Swaddlers newborn sizes, that makes that fold easier. (It doesn’t replace dry cord care, though.)

Calling your pediatrician if...

• You notice bleeding from the stump that gets worse, thick fluid that oozes from the stump, redness, any foul smell or tenderness, or if your baby has a fever. For preemies, follow your NICU care team’s guidance.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is a contoured-waist diaper actually better than a straight-cut for cord stump protection, or is that just marketing?

It’s all about the fit and the folding technique here. A contoured notch mostly makes it easier to fold the diaper correctly below the stump.

Should I stock up on newborn-size diapers before the baby arrives, or wait and see?

Since you can’t know exactly how quickly your baby will grow, start with one small box of newborn-size diapers to save yourself from a surplus of diapers that baby might outgrow within weeks.

My 9-pound baby doesn’t fit in newborn diapers — did I buy the wrong size?

It’s more important to go by leg and waist fit rather than the weight printed on the box. If you see gapping at the legs or red marks on baby’s waist or thighs, move up to Size 1.

Do NICU nurses recommend a specific diaper for preemies coming home?

Preemie-specific diapers for micro and nano sizes exist for babies under 4 lbs and are used in NICU settings. For babies heading home under 6 lbs, it’s best to follow the NICU’s discharge sizing guidance.

How many diapers will I actually go through in the first month?

Plan for approximately 240-360 diapers per month, or roughly 8-12 changes per day. We know. It’s a lot.

For some of us, spending time in cemeteries is a routine thing. And while you might enjoy the walking paths and the easy escape from daily conversations, there’s something else lurking among the headstones. I’m not talking about ghosts, although there might be ghosts. I’m referring to gravestone-inspired baby names.

Graveyards can provide endless inspiration for potential names for your future baby, invoking forgotten vintage names and unique spellings. In fact, earlier this year, one family went viral for strolling around their local cemetery in search of the perfect name for their newest addition. To see just how rich the naming inspo at graveyards is, a few Scary Mommy editors and I went to burial plots near us, including a few in the historic cities of Salem, Massachusetts; Charleston, South Carolina; and Savannah, Georgia. We found some serious gems, and wouldn’t using one be a nice nod to those who carried the names before?

So, if you’re looking for a name that honors the dead and celebrates the living, check out these 29 unexpected and charming baby names taken from actual headstones.

Asa

A name with Hebrew roots, Asa means “healer” or “doctor.” Captain Asa Hooper was a notable sea captain and privateer in the 18th century around Marblehead, Massachusetts, so this is a great name if you want a kind, sea-loving child.

Abbott

This name with Ecclesiastical roots means “father” or “priest,” and belonged to one Abbott Hall Brisbane — a brigadier general who now lies in Accabee Plantation Cemetery in Summerville, South Carolina. Born in 1804, Brisbane seems to have lived an interesting and illustrious life: a West Point graduate, a decorated military officer, a superintendent for the Charleston and Cincinnati Railroad, and a history professor at Charleston’s esteemed military academy, The Citadel. So, perhaps a name of acclaim?

Iver

Scandinavian in origin, the name Iver is sometimes spelled Ivarr or Ivarrs. It comes from the Norse word for yew tree. Because bows of warriors were often made from the sacred yew, the name Iver means “warrior” or “bow warrior.” Totally up to you if you want to pronounce it like the singer Bon Iver (ee-vare).

Coleta

An alternative to Colette or Nicolette, this French-inspired name means “victorious people” or “victory of the people.” A perfect name for a future Justice of the Peace, world leader, or class president.

Wilmot

A version of the more common name William or Wilhelmina, Wilmot means “protection”. Sadly, this name did not protect Wilmot Redd, who was one of the many innocent victims of the Salem Witch Trials (and the only woman accused of witchcraft in neighboring Marblehead, Massachusetts, to be hanged during the trials).

Lonelle

Looking for a fresh alternative to Leo? This gender-neutral name comes from the word lion or leon and means “little lion.”

Celestine

A divine name, Celestine is a unique version of the beautiful name Celeste. It means “of the stars” or “heavenly,” being derived from the Latin word for heaven, caelestis or caleum.

Artemus

Artemus is considered a gender-neutral spelling of its namesake, Artemis, the Greek goddess of the wild hunt. No matter how you spell it, the name connotes fierceness and warrior energy.

Vircie

More frequently spelled as Vercie, this name comes from the French word verce, which means “truth” or “truthfulness.”

Agnes

Agnes has its roots in the Greek language and means “pure, chaste, or holy.” You can call them Aggie or the less-common name Nes, for short.

Chillian

The name Chillian is a less common spelling of the name Cillian, an Irish name that translates roughly to “little church.” Though the “h” may be silent, the kid is sure to be chill. Variations include Cilian, Kilian, and Gillian.

Milda

Milda is the Lithuanian Goddess of Love, and the name is derived from the Lithuanian word for gracious. A child gifted with this name will surely be a blessing, invoking love, passion, and true grace.

Evelena

Discovered on a moss-covered gravestone at Allen AME Church Cemetery on Edisto Island, South Carolina, this name combines the classic and feminine “Eve” with more melodic names such as Helena. According to Nameberry, it’s relatively uncommon but has popped up sporadically in records dating back to the 19th century (which makes sense, as this Evelena was born just after, in 1918).

Albin

This once-popular early 19^th century name doesn’t surface as much anymore. It has Latin origins as Albinus and the variations Albin, Albe, and Albie are used more commonly in Sweden and France. The name means “white, bright, or fair.”

Conrad

Conrad Aiken was a Pulitzer Prize-winning poet, writer, and editor. It is said Aiken wanted his grave in Savannah’s Bonaventure Cemetery to have a bench so that poetry lovers could sit and drink with him in the afterlife. (Fun fact: His grave gained notoriety after being mentioned in John Berendt's book Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.) The name Conrad is of both Old English and Old German origins and translates to “bold counsel.” Aiken would also make a perfect name for a little writer-to-be, FWIW.

Eusebe

A name of Greek and Latin origin, the name Eusebe is a rarer form of the more common name Eusebia, Eusebius, or Eusebio. The name means “devout” and is based on both a Biblical and early Greek philosophical concept of exemplifying godliness and piety.

Burnet or Rhett

Want to imbue your kid with strength of character and integrity? Buried in Magnolia Cemetery, Burnet Rhett Maybank was the mayor of Charleston, a U.S. Senator, and the 99^th governor of South Carolina. During his tenure as governor in the late 1930s, he publicly fought against the Ku Klux Klan and worked to improve underserved Black schools. The name Burnet or Burnett means brown-haired. Rhett, which means “counselor” or “advisor,” is a charming name, too.

Abigail

If you love the idea of a traditional name, consider Abigail. This sweet option means “my father’s joy.” But be forewarned: it’s definitely a popular pick, so your kid will be one of many.

Elvira

Not only does it invoke our favorite Mistress of the Dark, Elvira is a name with deeper meaning as well. Some translations declare it to mean “happiness,” and others say the name invokes the words “truth or spear,” as in the spear of justice.

Maybell

There are only two words on the gravestone of Maybell Lafayette, who lies in rest at Allen AME Church Cemetery just outside Charleston, South Carolina: “loving mother.” And what a beautiful thing to mark one’s life! This sweet-as-can-be name means “lovable” or “dear.”

Emil

A masculine variant of Emily, both names are derived from the Roman Aemilia or Amelia. Depending on who you ask, the name can either connote striving and excelling, eagerness, or it translates simply to “rival.”

Delina

Delina, a Sicilian derivative of Adelina and Adeline, means “grace” and “noble one.” In Tigrinya, a dialect of Ethiopia, the word “delina” means to desire or want.

Mercer

Mercer derives from the French word merce for merchant, so the name is sometimes translated as “shopkeeper” or “vendor.” The Italian translation is similar, with merce meaning goods or wares for sale. John Mercer was a renowned musician who co-founded Capitol Records and was laid to rest in death at Savannah’s Bonaventure Cemetery.

Octavia

This imperial girl’s name was common among royal families and gained popularity during the Victorian era, especially for eighth children. Why? Because Octavia means “eighth,” of course! It’s unclear whether Octavia A. Bart was an eighth child. Her gravestone tells us only that she was a native of Boulogne-sur-Mer, France, who departed this life Aug. 19, 1871, at 18 years old, and rests in peace at the Circular Congregational Church Burying Ground in historic Charleston, South Carolina.

Evarist

Want to try to lay the groundwork for an agreeable child? Name them Evarist. Based on the Latin evaristus, this name translates to “agreeable or well-pleasing.” Other variations of this name include the Spanish Evaristo and the French Evariste. It can be pronounced “Ava-rist” or “Ev-a-rist.”

Francis

A popular, gender-neutral name, Francis means “Frenchman” or “free man.” Francis Girdler, whose grave is pictured here, has an interesting tie-in to Salem history. Before his death, he was married to Deborah Girdler, who went on to marry Ambrose Gale — a man who famously testified against Wilmot Redd, the only Marblehead woman to be hanged for witchcraft in 1692.

Goldie

It will come as no surprise that this charming name means “made of gold.” Sometimes. Used as a shortened form of Golda, you could do worse than liken your child to a precious metal or a beloved actress (Goldie Hawn).

Maxwell

Tragically, a young man named Maxwell Campbell, alongside his brother Henry, died of consumption in 1851. He was only 25, and his gravestone was erected by his “bereaved mother.” We know nothing else of Maxwell (or Henry, for that matter), aside from the fact that their lives were cut short. But perhaps he lives on in perpetuity through those who share his Scottish name, which means “Mack’s stream.”

Gracie

Little Gracie Watson is the most famous resident of Bonaventure Cemetery in Savannah, Georgia. The young girl died of pneumonia in 1889, and her ghost is said to haunt the cemetery to this day. The name Grace or Gracie means a blessing, derived from the word gratia in Latin, where we also get the word gratitude.

Doddridge

Can’t say we’ve heard this name before, making it an ideal choice if you’re looking for something super unique! This Doddridge was born in 1768 in Massachusetts and, upon his passing in 1847, was buried at the Circular Congregational Church in Charleston, South Carolina, beside an Eliza with the same last name, who we can only assume was his wife. According to Ancestry.com, Doddridge is an English habitational name.

Gotha

Want a baby goth in the house? The name Gotha is derived from Goth, and is more commonly seen as a surname. The meaning is “tribe” or “clan.” Gotha is also a city in Germany whose name in High German translates to “good waters.”

Miriam

One of the oldest forms of the name Mary, this name’s alternate spellings include Mirriam. The name is believed to be of Hebrew origin and has several possible meanings. The most inspiring one is “of the sea” or “star of the sea,” which invokes a mermaidian feel. Other meanings include “beloved” and “bitterness.”

Lavina Clarice

A once common name in Ancient Rome, the name Lavina literally means “woman of Rome.” This name gives off major girl-boss vibes and connotes strength. I also adore the name Clarice, which means “clarity” or “brightness.”

Zadok

Zadok is an underused and intriguing Hebrew name that means “just” and “righteous.” (Zadok, who died in 1836 and sleeps eternally in the Circular Congregational Church Burying Ground of Charleston, bears the last name Jesup... which would also be a cool name.)

Prudence

This classic, gender-neutral name of Latin origin means “wise,” “skilled,” or “intelligent.” Although it has tapered off dramatically in popularity since the Middle Ages, it’s seeing a resurgence thanks to TV mentions (Prudence Featherington, anyone?). Plus, the nickname “Pru” is so cute.

I’m 44, and like so many others my age, I spent my Friday nights (and let’s be honest, Saturday mornings) glued to ABC and NBC watching teen-based sitcoms. Boy Meets World was, of course, one of those shows, and one of my favorites. So when I got a chance to talk to Danielle Fishel, aka Topanga herself, I nearly peed my pants.

Like me, Fishel is now also a mom to two sports-loving sons, ages 7 and 5. And like 1.9 million other people, I follow her on Instagram to get a dose of nostalgia, a heap of funny motherhood moments, and so much more. I caught up with the actor and mom via Zoom, and suffice it to say, I had a blast. We talked about our matching Stanleys (hers filled with Metamucil fiber powder, mine with protein powder because #agingmillennials), motherhood, and what her post-cancer life looks like now.

Scary Mommy: Let’s jump right in. What's your wellness like now as a mid-40s lady?

Danielle Fishel: My wellness routine now, in my mid-40s, is very clear to me. I used to just kind of, like, waffle in and out of different trends, and now I really know what works for me, and I just prioritize it. And a lot of that's even just stuff I've learned in the last year or two. But my wellness routine really begins with the way I start my day every single day, which is waking up at least 30 minutes before my kids, because I have to have some coffee and some silence before I start my day.

SM: What time are we talking roughly?

DF: Somewhere between 5:30 and 6. I get up every day, and I need to start my morning with that quiet time. And actually before I even get to my coffee, the very first thing I do is I start my day with fiber. And my medications that I take. I really just started myself on my health journey. I include fiber right from the beginning of my day because, as a type A personality, I like to wake up and already start checking things off my list.

SM: I understand that. It’s like, look what I've already done!

DF: Yeah, look at what I've already done, and I haven't even had a cup of coffee yet. So that makes me feel good. The quiet time before my kids get up helps me start my day mentally, and then working out is extremely important to me as part of my wellness journey. It’s become a lot of lifting weights. Like a lot of women, I thought that cardio was where it was at for so much of my life, and I would kill myself doing it, which I've never really fully enjoyed but thought that's what I needed to do, and getting my heart rate as high as I possibly could, only to not actually feel as strong or healthy in my body as I wanted to. Now that I lift weights consistently, I feel so much better. And with that comes the need to make sure we're eating enough protein. These are the things that I know really help ground me and make me feel like my best self.

SM: And has that changed during your cancer journey?

DF: Yeah, everything I just mentioned about my wellness experience has been since I discovered I had cancer, and it's not like because I wasn't doing those things that led to me getting cancer. It was more like, OK, our health is something that we take for granted when we have it. And then all of a sudden, when you find out there's something that could potentially be really detrimental, it makes you go, hmm, maybe I need to be more intentional about all of the things I'm doing, and not just throw caution to the wind and assume I'm healthy forever.

My doctor was actually the one who recommended fiber to me because as I got older I noticed that everything about the way I was going through life just felt like it got slower. My digestion got slower. So I started talking to my doctor about, like, what can I do about this feeling? I'm not regular, I feel weighed down, and my doctor said, “Are you taking any fiber?” That's when I really learned about the power of psyllium fiber. Once I added that into my day, it's been a game changer.

SM: What has surprised you the most about parenting? Or what’s been, so far, the most shocking thing you didn’t expect?

DF: The most shocking thing that I don't think anybody can prepare you for when you have kids is the amount of self-parenting you have to do while raising them. Your flaws come to the surface so fast when you see them emulating you, and you go, Well, where did you get that? And then you're like, Oh. Right. I think it's from me. So adjusting the way I talk to myself, adjusting the way I carry myself.

My oldest son has very much internalized my perfectionism, which has been very difficult for me, because it's painful to watch someone be so hard on themselves when it's just unnecessary. On the one hand, it's painful because I want to stop him from having that mindset and from being so hard on himself. And on the other hand, it's really beautiful because it's forced me to be nicer to myself. I am much easier to make a mistake and think, if I react to this mistake... he's going to think that's an appropriate response to what just happened. And, Danielle, it's not. It's OK. So he, in a lot of ways, is helping me be kinder to myself because I want him to emulate that and not emulate being hard on himself.

SM: Switching gears a little bit, you grew up on camera in a show about growing up. How has that shaped how you've parented, if at all?

DF: I think the thing it has shaped is knowing that the bite-sized 22-minute lessons we get on TV, while absolutely beneficial — and there are things I look at Alan and Amy Matthews and I think, Man, if I could strive to be like them in this way, I would want to do that — life isn't always wrapped up with a pretty bow at the end of 22 minutes.

I try to remind myself that hardships or issues you have in either your marriage or as a parent or with your children, they're all normal. No one goes through life completely unscathed, and even if our social media feeds make it look like everyone's got it all figured out and all got it together, my neighbors are both probably dealing with exactly the same things or, if not the same thing, something very similar in their own lives to what I'm going through, and it's all part of the process.

SM: Speaking of growing up, we both grew up during toxic body culture. What was that like navigating that as someone in the public eye?

DF: I'm so thankful that we didn't have social media, because even though I was in the public eye, I didn't necessarily have to deal with what people were saying about me, because there was no real way for me to know what people were saying about me. But I still had to deal with the general imagery of what was being held up as the epitome of beauty standards. Back in the day, it was like heroin chic, just absolute waifs, all those words floating around. And I was never that body type, you know? It's always difficult when whatever society decides is the beauty standard du jour, and you don't fit it. You definitely feel like you are on the outside.

With that said, I think it's almost impossible to go through your teenage years not feeling like an outsider about something. So, although the body image stuff was very difficult in the '90s, I wasn't the only one who went through that either. You could just be in high school and not on TV and not feel like you were fitting what society was calling beautiful. I think I'm just one of any other girl from that generation who didn't fit that stereotype and we all felt the same way.

SM: I will personally say that I have boobs, and I remember seeing you on TV, and I was like, she looks like me. And I was very happy that I saw someone who looked a little bit like me. Although you had fabulous eyes and fabulous hair, but it made me feel better. So thank you for that.

DF: I appreciate that because yes, that was something I remember as a teen feeling like, like, how come shirts don't fit me the same way? How come when you can wear a button-down shirt, and all the buttons lay nicely? And when I put on a button-up shirt, I either have to wear a huge oversized button-up or one where it's pulling everywhere.

SM: Have you talked to your kids about that at all? Or are they too young?

DF: They are still pretty young, but we have definitely talked about the idea that we don't comment on people's bodies. I do think that's important for them to understand because I don't want there to be certain words that are necessarily worse than others. And I don't want them to feel like they can't describe somebody or themselves in whichever way they want to. But commenting on something that, for the most part, is out of people's control, and thinking about bodies in any other way other than they are all different, and they are all fine, they're all acceptable, they're all beautiful. They're all something to think of what our bodies are capable of doing. And so, that's kind of been my thing, is like, we don't talk about other people's bodies. We just don't.

SM: Have your kids watched Boy Meets World or Girl Meets World yet?

DF: My oldest son wanted to see an episode of Boy Meets World a few years ago; I think he was maybe 3 or 4 at the time. So I played Season 1, Episode 4, which was my first episode on the show, and I'm thinking, Oh my gosh, this is such a big moment. He's gonna love this! And I come on screen and I go, “That's mommy!” And he looks at me, and he looks at the TV, and he's watching for a few minutes, and I'm looking at him going, Oh my gosh, this is so special. And he looks over at me, he goes, “OK, I'm bored, let’s watch something else.” And I went, “OK, you’re not ready for this yet. No problem.” So I'm gonna wait. I think maybe 9 or 10 is kind of the perfect time to start the show in Season 1, and then my goal will be to binge-watch it the whole way through.

SM: Switching gears, who are you rooting for on Dancing with the Stars?

DF: I mean, first of all, I'm completely blown away by the season already. There is no way around it for me: I am 100% all in on Pasha [Pashkov] and Amber [Glenn]. I am so excited for Pasha to have a partner like her who has such incredible athleticism. I'm so excited for them and I'm really rooting for them. With that said, I'm also really rooting for Tatyana Ali. How could I not? She's a friend of mine. We go all the way back to the ‘90s. I'm also very excited about Julia Stiles. There are so many good people to root for. I am absolutely about women power! I am, like, all in on all of the women.

SM: Do you sit and watch them dance or do you have to move around?

DF: I sit and watch it, but then every time, through the results, I stand up and I pace. There is no way you can have lived through standing up there as part of one of those bottom three, just even seeing the red lights, I just got chills thinking about it. It is not a good feeling. I know how hard everyone is working. And so even if you can say, well, being that someone had to go home this week, yes, that was the “right” person to go home. You still know how devastating it is. So that's the only part I can't relax through.

SM: OK, so tell me what you have coming up next. I know you have a book coming out and so much good stuff happening.

DF: Yeah, so we have a book coming out that we're really excited about, Book Meets World. I also have “Dugout Dads,” which I did with Patrick Renna from The Sandlot. We did a YouTube show and all nine episodes are available now. They're short-form, but they're still horizontal. And we're taking that out to pitch. We're using it as a great proof of concept, and we're taking it to networks, and we're taking it to streamers, and we hope to get full 22-minute episodes out of that. No matter what, there will be a whole season.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

My mother would have you know our lineage the minute you meet her. I am the eldest daughter of the eldest daughter of the eldest daughter, going eight times back. She is proud of it, this freakish line of vaginas slotting neatly into one another back into time and space, like Russian dolls. I always doubted her assertion that this was true, until an Ancestry.com test allowed me to access the family tree portion of the app, and I counted one, two, three, four… all the way back to eight. What could this all mean? A curse? A superpower?

The eldest daughter trope is known far and wide, mostly only to firstborn daughters. We are parentified young, destined to become the second mother. We learn to anticipate needs, predict moods; we are the latchkey to the latchkey kids. I am a people pleaser, and sure, I like to be right. Firstborn girls have a light toxicity to them. These traits make eldest daughters desperate to branch out, and I was no different. I got married young, had kids young. How much of this was by choice, how much by training?

As the eldest daughter, my boundaries are frequently trampled over, yet I am the queen of respecting boundaries. My younger brother is someone who never hides his emotions; you will know his feelings the second they emerge. I love that about him. I envy it. I am someone who holds them in, cheeks full with unspoken words I can’t seem to swallow, until the inevitable happens and I vomit them out all over you. I live at the polar caps — silently accepting or sobbing uncontrollably, depending on where in the digestion process I am.

Firstborn daughter: Is this where I am in the birth order of my family, or is this also womanhood? We are conditioned by society, our parents, and our peers to take what they give us, to hide the ugly, accentuate the good traits. Boys will be boys, we are told. He hurt you because he likes you, we are told. Beauty is pain, we are told. Perhaps the superpowers I was concerned with inheriting have nothing to do with being one in a long line of eldest daughters, but rather, a product of feminine expectation.

I don’t know much about many of my ancestors (though my debut novel explores the possibilities of ancestral hand-me-downs), but I know my grandmother, Nanny Goat, was a typical mother hen as an older sister. My mother was the same, a woman not good at clearly outlining her feelings because they hadn’t been prioritized as a child. Thanks to research and books on epigenetic trauma like Bernice McFadden’s Firstborn Girls or Dr. Joy DeGruy’s Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome, we know that the experiences of a future mother are felt, ripples across a pond, throughout generations.

Am I carrying the weight of my foremothers? Can I put it down?

My own firstborn daughter is a sweet, doe-eyed 8-year-old named Luka. Although she is growing up in a vastly different household to mine — she has doting parents who love each other, a house and a yard and a quiet community-led town to grow up in — I have noticed some eldest daughter tendencies.

She comes by these honestly; I have never made a point to give her more responsibility than appropriate, but somehow… I find her trying to feed her sister breakfast so we can sleep in. If I am unwell, she insists on being given a job to do, to help. These could be viewed as just the characteristics of a sweet, loving kid, which she is, but I worry.

I worry that the curse of the eldest daughter has found her, pure and innocent, and sought to parentify her. That is her destiny. That is who she will be, whether she (or I) like it or not. I encourage her to be selfish, to think of her own needs first. To not worry about what she looks like to others, what other people may say about her actions.

What if we invert the notion of feminine expectation? Flip the patriarchy completely, leaving capitalism’s desire for a ladder, dog-eat-dog, one-ring-to-rule-them-all behind? As we discover more about the men at the top’s penchant for corporate (and literal) cannibalism (allegedly), it is alluring.

Despite copious propaganda about the race of the sperm to the egg, it is actually the egg that chooses. It isn’t a passive victim. It is selecting, carefully. We know that DNA is favored by the maternal line. Mitochondrial DNA is passed down only from the maternal DNA, not the paternal. From NPR’s Allison Aubrey: the X chromosome contains far more genes, so that even male humans have more genes from their maternal line. The maternal line, therefore, is the one evolution is desperate to preserve.

No accident then, that my matriarchal lineage forges on. Eldest daughters, yes, but certainly not a curse.

After reading the viral Threads by author and influencer Gabrielle Blair on how patriarchy isn’t an evolutionarily sound format for society, I wondered if the repetition of eldest daughters wasn’t some meek-making trad wife factory but rather evolution's way of putting us forward as leaders. My mother is not a traditional woman. An artist and an intellectual, she has never been one to be told shit by anyone, which is another eldest daughter trait. My grandmother was quiet and Catholic, a mother of four, but she didn’t suffer fools; she was often the smartest person in the room, even if it went unnoticed.

Each seed of my ancestors that came before me brought me closer to Luka, the purest of us all. My darling Luka. An empath for sure. I asked her what she hopes for the future. She told me, “A planet where money isn’t important, where everyone has a house and food and the things they need.” I reiterated, “But Luka, what about you?” And she, with the wisdom and innocence we only ever have at 8, said, “That is about me, Mama.”

Not to place too much importance on my absolutely, positively perfect child, but isn’t that what this is about?

We need an eldest daughter. We need a matriarch-centric society. If my own family has taught me anything, it is that a lineage of eldest daughters carries the possibility of alternative futures. Our DNA is demanding it. We need empathy and leadership, and a society with the ability to see the bigger picture, to predict our needs in 10, 15, a hundred years’ time. Because the planet is changing and, hopefully, so are we.

Eirinie Carson is an award-winning Black British writer and college dropout living in California. She writes about sexual taboos, death and dying, illegal substances, hauntings both real and imagined, and ancestral inheritance in a world desperate to sever the connections between what came before and what is to come. Her first work of fiction, the maternal gothic novel Bloodfire, Baby (2026), has been named one of the year’s best debuts by Debutiful.

The world feels more divided than perhaps it ever has, but I think we can all still agree on one simple truth: It feels really freaking good when someone plays with your hair. The best part of the haircut is that scalp massage at the bowl. Your partner idly combing their fingers through your hair while you watch a movie — hnnnnng. So maybe it comes as no surprise that your scalp can actually be considered an erogenous zone, according to sex experts. So, if you know your partner loves a good head rub, here’s how you can work that into your intimate arsenal.

According to the International Society for Sexual Medicine, an erogenous zone is “any part of the body that elicits sexual arousal when touched.” Of course, most of us immediately think of the usual erogenous zones, but anywhere that a gentle graze, scratch, kiss, or bite gets your engine revving also counts. Because the scalp is so densely populated with nerve endings (like those other body parts your mind first jumped to), yes, a scalp massage can easily become quite the turn-on.

For the record, this doesn’t mean every scalp scratch has to be sexual; it’s just a new area of the body with untapped potential. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, it’s nice to be reminded of these low-lift but fresh new ways to turn each other on.

“A typical scalp massage is usually associated with relaxation, while a sensual massage is slower and more deliberate. You’re paying attention not just to what you’re doing, but also to how your partner is responding to it. And sensual doesn’t necessarily mean sexual. Sometimes we forget there’s a whole world of touch between ‘friendly’ and ‘let’s have sex,’” says Angie Rowntree, ABS, board-certified sexologist and founder and filmmaker behind the award-winning ethical adult film site Sssh.com.

The Benefits Of Sensual Scalp Massage

Well there’s the obvious: They feel fantastic. Scalp massages can be a form of foreplay, or a way to show your partner some love.

“There’s something very intimate about having someone play with your hair or massage your scalp. It’s nurturing, it’s pleasurable, and it asks absolutely nothing of you except to enjoy it. I think that may be part of why people are so drawn to it. We’re constantly stimulated, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we’re connected,” Rowntree says. “We’re on our phones, answering emails, scrolling, watching TV while scrolling some more, and then someone gives you 10 minutes of their complete attention? That feels different.”

A lil’ head rub can also be a great way to add more touch that doesn’t lead to sex into your relationship. Making space for intimacy outside the bedroom fuels your connection.

“I think people are becoming much more comfortable with the idea that pleasure doesn’t always have to be about sex or orgasm. Sometimes pleasure is having someone run their fingers through your hair while you lie there and do absolutely nothing,” she adds.

How To Give A Grade-A Scalp Massage

Here’s how to give one of those hair salon-quality, groan-inducing scalp massages, according to Rowntree:

• Keep movements slow. “Use the pads of your fingers and start around the hairline or temples, making slow circles and gradually moving across the scalp. Run your fingers through their hair, trace around the ears. Don’t forget the base of the skull and the back of the neck.”
• Change things up. “A little more pressure, then lighter touch. Massage for a while and then simply let your hands rest there for a few seconds before starting again. Build anticipation.”
• Pay attention to your partner’s reactions. If they lean into your hand, their shoulders relax, their breathing changes, or you get that little ‘mmm,’ you’ve probably found a spot they like. Stay there.
• Ask your partner what they like throughout. More or less pressure? Fingernails or fingertips? Slow circles or more combing of the hair? “Checking in does matter,” she says.

Finally, offer scalp massages (or request them) outside of trying to initiate sex. “When people don’t feel as though there’s an expectation attached to the touch, they’re often able to relax and enjoy all the sensations. And, of course, sometimes relaxing into it leads somewhere else,” says Rowntree.

As a little kid, I remember whining to my mother that I was bored and asking her to play. Her answer was always simple: “I don’t play, but if you want to snuggle and read or do a craft, we can.” Recently, I asked my mom about this, and she laughed. “Playing Barbies was like torture to me.”

I never took her boundary as a lack of love or attention, especially because she was always willing to engage in her own form of play, which included crafting, baking, snuggling, and reading. I knew if I wanted someone to play with, I had to ask a sibling, figure out how to entertain myself, or talk my dad into playing a thrilling round of our family game, “Monster.” (Don’t ask.)

While I love my mom’s firm boundary, lately I’ve been feeling guilty when my youngest, who is 3, asks me to play with him. His older siblings are at school, and I work a lot during the day, so giving him my full focus to do what he wants — whether that is playing catch, building a marble run, or constructing a Magna-Tiles fort — feels like an important way to connect.

So I turned to some experts to answer the question: Do we really need to play with our kids? If so, for how long and how often?

Yes, play matters... but that doesn’t mean you need to play hours of Barbies or Hot Wheels

The answer is nuanced.

Play is essential to a child’s development. They learn to communicate, problem-solve, emotionally regulate, and develop creativity, says Dr. Sasha Hall, a senior educational and child psychologist.

When a parent joins in, kids can benefit from the communication practice and the experience of having their parent’s full attention. But that doesn’t mean a parent needs to get on their creaky knees and push cars around the living room.

Instead, Hall recommends making sure you’re noticing your child. Are you responsive to their needs? Do you offer them your attention? Are you interested and emotionally available? Secure parent-child relationships, she says, happen when a parent is the magnificent three: responsive, predictable, and safe.

This rings true of my experience. Because my mom was good at offering me attention, I could get over the fact that she wasn’t interested in taking Barbie and Ken to the ball.

But sometimes, entering their world matters

I recently read this book called Ambitious Mother: From Surviving to Thriving in Your Career and At Home by Dr. Anne Welsh, a clinical psychologist and mom of four, who recommends spending around 15 minutes a day doing a child-led activity with your kid. The idea is loosely based on Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT), an evidence-based treatment that teaches parents to set aside a small chunk of focused time with their kids.

But what happens when you have multiple kids? Or your days are wickedly busy? How are you supposed to squeeze that in on top of all your other plethora of responsibilities?

Because I didn’t want to turn this into another guilt trip on my motherly conscience, I reached out to Welsh to ask how she manages this with four kids as a busy working mom. She explained that she doesn’t always do it one-on-one, but might engage with two kids at a time. If one of her children is struggling, this kind of connection time is the first thing she returns to.

Don’t beat yourself up trying to eke out 15 minutes a day if you don’t have it. In formal PCIT, parents actually practice just five minutes a day of child-directed “special time,” while other parenting approaches use anywhere from five to 15 minutes. The point isn’t the number, Welsh says. It’s creating a pocket of time when you’re completely present.

“I would much rather parents practice clear unavailability followed by real presence than spend the whole day offering half-attention while feeling guilty that they should be doing more,” Welsh says.

I’ll admit, that stings. Because I’m good at half-heartedly engaging with my kids when my mind is elsewhere, or worse, I’ll try to hide the fact that I’m sending an email. The awful thing is that my kids know it and call me out on it: “Mom, you’re not listening to me!”

So, what’s a parent to do?

Connection can happen through simple tasks

Hall and Welsh also agree that it’s less about what you’re playing and more about making time to connect, distraction-free, with your kids. And this doesn’t have to involve “play.” Cooking and baking, gardening, taking a walk, chatting in the car, swimming, and even doing chores together are all good ways to bond.

“Sometimes we overcomplicate connection,” Hall says. “A child does not need to think, ‘My parent played with me every day’ to feel loved. They need to experience repeatedly, ‘My parent knows me, notices me, responds to me, and I matter to them.’”

Welsh says this is a big part of her parenting too. She frames it as the chance to spend distraction-free time entering her children’s world with them. “One of the biggest things a child is getting is the experience of mattering,” Welsh says. This signals to them: “Your ideas are interesting to me. Your preferences matter. You have something worth showing me. I delight in knowing you.”

Your kids actually need to play without you, too

Making kids play by themselves is good for them, too. Independent play gives children opportunities to entertain themselves, solve problems, and stay with an activity without an adult constantly providing the ideas, says Hall.

If you do join in, she says it’s important to let kids remain the leader. “Young children still need supervision appropriate to their age and circumstances, and they need to know that an adult is available. But being available is not the same as being involved in everything.” (Aka, we aren’t their playtime directors.)

Sometimes we confuse good parenting with good entertaining

We are inundated with parenting advice these days, with an exhausting list of things we believe we need to do to be “good parents.” But we don’t need to be full-time entertainers, and children need to experience boredom and learn how to entertain themselves.

There’s being present and being entertaining, says Hall, and that distinction matters.

So, let us build our Frank Lloyd Wright-inspired Magna-Tiles houses or take our Barbies to the grand ball. Or not. Because it’s less about whether we play, or for how long, and more about making time for connection.

Personally, I believe the fact that slow cookers exist is proof God is a woman. With the right combination of ingredients, you can truly just throw food inside of it, turn it on, and come back hours later to a ready-made dinner. It’s the closest thing to a personal chef most of us will ever be able to afford, a real-life magic cauldron right there in our kitchen cabinets. To use them to their fullest potential, here are some easy and delicious dump-and-go Crockpot recipes — no browning or searing meat first, and no stirring halfway through.

Slow Cooker Potsticker Soup

Frozen potstickers and packaged coleslaw make Fit Slow Cooker Queen’s potsticker soup incredibly easy to dump and go. It has all the appeal of takeout, but without the hefty delivery fee and sodium spike afterward.

Sweet Hawaiian Crock-Pot Chicken

So many Crock-Pot recipes require you to sear or brown the protein before adding it to the slow cooker, which does not qualify as dump-and-go anymore. Princess Pinky Girl’s Hawaiian chicken recipe excludes that step (hallelujah), but adds plenty of flavor via a sticky, sweet sauce.

Easy Barbecue Chicken Sandwiches

Shredded chicken is one of the easiest things to make in the slow cooker, and one of the most versatile. Here, All The Healthy Things’ recipe breaks down how to make pulled barbecue chicken and the best way to dress it up for restaurant-style sammies.

Slow Cooker Thai Green Curry Chicken

I love curry but am always afraid if I try and make it at home, I’ll just be disappointed by the outcome. But maybe Family Fresh Meals’ slow-cooker version is worth a shot. That coconut curry sauce just sounds so good...

Crock-Pot Spinach Artichoke Chicken

Spinach artichoke dip is the best, so why not morph it into an entree? Fit Slow Cooker Queen’s spinach artichoke chicken and pasta looks like the most delicious way to get some greens into your meal, TBH.

Slow Cooker Enchilada Orzo

If you’re trying to make more meatless meals these days, consider trying this enchilada orzo from Damn Delicious. It’s creamy, flavorful, and filling, and would be so good topped with avocado or salsa verde.

Slow Cooker Tuscan Chicken

Chicken and spinach in a creamy Parmesan and sun-dried tomato sauce? Yeah, that’ll do quite nicely. This recipe from Averie Cooks makes this delicious chicken dish so easy to pull off. Serve it with pasta and call it a night.

Slow Cooker Meatball Subs

Simply LaKita’s recipe genuinely could not be easier. As long as you can open a bag of frozen meatballs and a jar of marinara sauce, you’ve got this in the bag. Let the meatballs simmer on low all day and toast your sub rolls when it’s serving time.

Slow Cooker Tofu Butter Chicken

Jessica in the Kitchen’s recipes are fantastic if you’re vegan or interested in cooking vegan dishes for the first time. This butter chicken-inspired tofu is so simple and easy, while still being absolutely loaded with flavor.

Slow Cooker Jambalaya

Spicy, smoky jambalaya with fluffy perfect rice? Budget Bytes’ slow cooker jambalaya recipe explains precisely how to make it all in one Crock-Pot, so you won’t have a heap of dirty dishes to wash at the end of the night.

Crack Chicken Chili

When nothing else sounds good for dinner, Princess Pinky Girl’s crack chicken chili will. It’s creamy, cheesy, ranch-y, bacon-y... all the flavors that never get old, honestly. It’s a dump-and-go, set-it-and-forget-it meal you’ll likely return to again and again.

Well, I think I have to try crack chicken chili this week...

Sometimes it’s the weirdest beauty product or wardrobe hack that will make you feel like your hottest self. It may not be something you’ve tried before, but that purple toothpaste may actually undo years of coffee stains on your teeth, and that strange-looking foam roller? It’ll leave your muscles feeling like you’re 10 years younger. Keep scrolling, the hacks gathered up here will have you feeling younger, hotter, and, most importantly, more confident.

A Collagen & Retinol Gua Sha Cream For Firming Skin

ANUA Collagen Retinol Refining Gua Sha Cream

Amazon -

This refining gua sha cream has a pretty genius design. The formula itself includes collagen, peptides, and retinol for a natural glow. The cream itself is packaged in a compact squeeze tube with a metal applicator for contouring and sculpting your face. For best results, follow the instructions closely, which includes avoiding vitamin C and exfoliants when applying it during morning.

Repair Patches That Protect & Nourish Your Nails

Onyx Professional Hard as Hoof Nail Repair Patches (20 Count)

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With more than 80,000 reveiws and counting, these nail repair patches are exactly what your self-care routine has been missing. Each strip is infused with vitamin E, retinol, and silk protein which will ultimately prevent nail breakage, while stimulating collagen production over time. “I have very thin brittle nails that break off very easily, since using this product I’ve seen a massive difference in my nails that I never thought id ever see,” wrote one shopper. “They’re much stronger, to the point that I can grow my nails out nice and evenly.”

This Wireless Jelly Bra That’s Both Supportive & Comfortable

LetsJoli Supportive Jelly Bra

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Both supportive and comfortable for hours of wear, this wireless jelly bra is bound to become your new go-to for everyday wear. It’s made from a soft, highly-technical contouring material that is breathable and allows you to move freely. The adjustable shoulder straps are completely convertible, which means you can wear it with tops and dresses with a crisscross back, if you so choose.

• Available sizes: Small — 3X-Large
• Available colors: 15+

A Finger Massaging Tool For Tense Muscles

Gaiam Finger Massager

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This finger massager is a great way to increase blood circulation in your hands after a long day at work. The dual-ended rolling tool has an ergonomic shape that allows for an an easy, secure grip while you relieve stiffness and pain. Plus, it comes complete with an exercise guide, as well as how-to videos so you can get the most out of this purchase.

This Hair Texturizing Spray For Added Volume & Thickness

Boldify Hair Thickening Spray

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Designed for those that have fine and thinning hair, this texturizing spray is designed to deliver thicker and bouncier hair in just 60 seconds. The lightweight formula is made with amaranth seed extract that’s rich in peptides for added hydration, as well as sea salt, to give your hair volume and definition. Best of all, it won’t leave your hair feeling crunchy.

A Multi-Peptide Face Serum To Boost Skin Elasticity

The Ordinary Multi-Peptide + Hyaluronic Acid, Anti-Aging Peptide Serum for Crow’s Feet

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If you’re in the market for a new skin-care product that targets wrinkles while hydrating your skin, this multi-peptide serum is an absolute must. It’s made with a cocktail of ingredients that supports elasticity, increases firmness, and moisturizes skin. “I have sensitive skin and pretty significant rosacea, but it does not irritate my skin at all,” wrote one buyer in their review. “It’s nice under makeup and does not cause my foundation to pill.”

UV Detection Stickers That Let You Know When To Reapply

SpotMyUV UV Detection Sunscreen Stickers (16 Count)

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If you’re someone who consciously prevents sun damage, these UV detection stickers are an absolute must. These small adhesive dots have SPF-sensing technology that lets you know when it’s time to reapply sunscreen when you’re at the beach or on a hike. Just place one on your skin before you put on sunscreen and when it turns purple, it’s time to put on another layer to protect you from harmful rays.

A Red Light Therapy Mask For Enhancing Your Skin-Care Routine

Lifepro Vizacure Red Light Therapy Mask

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If you’re looking to take your skin-care routine to the next level, this red light therapy mask is a great place to start. It has a cordless, see-through design with three different modes and offers a gentle treatment for your face that supports the health for all types of skin. Wear the weightless design for just 15 to 20 minutes, three to four times a week.

Body Lotion Tablets That Are Perfect For Traveling

Jergens Cherry Almond Body Lotion Bursts (38 Count)

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These body lotion bursts are a great way to keep your skin moisturized while you travel, instead of bringing the whole bottle along with you in your suitcase. Each pack comes with 38, squishy heart- or star-shaped pods that are easy to rub in and offer up 24-hour hydration. Choose between two subtle scents on offer — lavender and cherry almond.

A Repairing Hand Mask That’s Fragrance Free

Aveeno Repairing CICA Hand Mask

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Combat dry and cracked hands with these repairing mask gloves that can be slipped on for added moisture. The fragrance-free formula itself is infused with a cocktail of nourishing ingredients such as shea butter and triple oats that work together to moisturize skin for up to 72 hours. It also can help soothe itchiness and irritation, while remaining soft and gentle.

Lobe Support Patches For Heavy Statement Earrings

Lobe Wonder Ear Lobe Support Patches (60-Pack)

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If you’re someone who loves wearing heavy earrings but is worried about your piercing holes tearing or ripping, these lobe support patches are an absolute must. Discreet and lightweight, they’re made in a clear, sticker-style design with a gentle adhesive that won’t irritate your skin after hours of wear. All you have to do is place them on the back of your lobe and feed the post-back fastening through the opening for added reinforcement.

Travel-Sized Sunscreen Packets For UV Protection On The Go

KONEUK Individually-Wrapped Travel=Sized Sunscreen Packets (30 Count)

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These individually-wrapped sunscreen packets are perfect for travel. Its SPF-50 formula is lightweight, nongreasy, and applies with a hydrating clear texture that feels smooth while offering hours of sun protection. “It also doesn’t leave a white cast, so it works well for everyday use on both face and body,” a customer shared in their review.

Collagen-Infused Chin Masks For A More Sculpted Appearance

MAREE Collagen Chin Mask (5-Pack)

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Great for lifting and smoothing wrinkles, this collagen-infused 24-karat gold chin masks are a great addition to any self-care routine. They’re each made in a strategic V-shape and are infused with retinol, hyaluronic acid for hydration and to enhance skin elasticity. The best part is they’re individually wrapped, which means you can take them with you when you travel.

Scrunched Leggings For A Butt-Lifting Effect

Heathyoga Scrunch Butt Lifting Leggings with Pockets for Women Tummy Control Compression Leggings No Front Seam Yoga Pants Black

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Achieve a natural-looking butt-lifting effect with these scrunch-detailed leggings. Perfect for your next sweat session, they’re made from a highly technical compression fabric with no front seam for maximum comfort. The side pockets for your smaller essentials (think phone, cardholder, and keys) are just an added bonus.

• Available sizes: X-Small — XX-Large
• Available colors: 10+

Self-Steaming Masks For Tired & Strained Eyes

BeHoomi Steam Eye Mask (10-Pack)

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These self-heating steam eye masks are such an easy way to relieve strained and tired eyes after a long day of work. Each box comes with 10 individually-wrapped compresses in a relaxing lavender scent. Just unwrap each mask and watch them warm up instantly, lasting anywhere from 30 to 40 minutes.

Retinol Body Lotion For Skin Renewal

Naturium Skin-Renewing Retinol Body Lotion with Allantoin

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Made with retinol and allantoin, this skin-renewing body lotion is formulated to improve the look and texture of your skin, while hydrating in the process. The shea butter base is rich in fatty acids to prevent dryness and dullness. It’s best used in the evening before bed. However, if you use it in the morning, be sure to pair with your favorite sunscreen for protection against harsh UV rays.

Whitening Toothpaste That Removes Deep Stains

Crest 3D White Brilliance Toothpaste

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Make your smile shine a little brighter with the help of this stain-removing whitening toothpaste. The formula itself is made with fluoride for remineralizing enamel to strengthening teeth over time. Available in a two pack, this product is a fast and easy way to get rid of deep stains caused by daily coffee or tea drinking, as well as wine and dark foods.

Daily Hair Serum Tablets For Frizzy, Damaged Strands

Hair Serum for Frizzy and Damaged Hair - Restorative Hair Oil Vitamins in Capsules - Hair Treatment for Women - Hair Treatment Oils for Damaged & Bleached Hair -30 Hair Oil Capsules by Remilia

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These hair serum capsules are an easy way to repair damaged and bleached strands without splurging on expensive treatments. Application is super easy, all you have to do is twist the top to open the tablet and squeezing the serum into your hands before gently massaging the hydrating product into your hair, starting from the ends to mid-shaft. The result? A weightless shine with lasting frizz control.

Stretching Cards For Increasing Flexibility

PhysioSpace Stretching Exercise Cards

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Thanks to these stretching cards, you don’t have to worry about feeling stuck stretching while you’re at the gym. Each box comes with 100 different exercises that help you with flexibility and mobility, all recommended by a physical therapist — complete with illustrations as well as video tutorials. “The pictures are very helpful for ensuring I’m doing the stretches correctly, and the QR code linking to a 1-minute video is a fantastic feature,” one buyer wrote.

Diamond Hair Spray For A High-Shine Finish

Garnier Fructis Diamond Sleek Hair Shine Spray

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This heat protectant spray really does it all. Aside from preventing heat damage that might come from styling tools, it also combats frizzy strands for up to 100 hours. Plus, the nourishing and lightweight formula will leave your hair with a high-shine finish that will make you look like you just walked out of the salon.

Skin-Firming Body Oil That Is Silky & Moisturizing

GODA Silk Body Oil

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Lightweight and hydrating, this silky body oil is a great way to keep you moisturized post-shower. The formula itself is made with shea butter and vitamin E and is designed to support skin elasticity and improve the overall firmness. It has a subtle lavender and vanilla scent, filled with notes of cacao, that smells incredible on.

Moisturizing Socks For Repairing Dry & Cracked Heels While You Sleep

ZenToes Moisturizing Sleep Socks (2 Pairs)

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Get baby smooth and soft feet by slipping a pair of these moisturizing sleep socks around your heels overnight. The mess-free toeless design has a gel-lined interior that’s infused with vitamin E, olive oil, and jojoba oil, for intense hydration. “After just a few nights of wearing these socks, I noticed a significant improvement in the texture and smoothness of my skin,” wrote one buyer. “My feet feel much softer and more comfortable, which is a relief after long days on my feet.”

A Mulberry Silk Pillowcase For Healthier Hair & Skin

ZIMASILK 100% Mulberry Silk Pillowcase

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This smoothing satin pillowcase is exactly what may be missing from your beauty routine. Made from 100% mulberry silk, it has a soft, lustrous surface that’s gentle on both the skin and hair, combatting acne, frizz, split ends, and bed head in general. The fact that it’s hypoallergenic is just the cherry on top.

This Massage Roller For Relieving Tired Feet

BESKAR Foot Massage Roller

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If you’re someone who is on their feet all day, this foot massage roller is an absolute must. The dumbbell-shape has an ergonomic design with a textured surface that helps relieve pain from plantar fasciitis and other foot ailments. “Simply place it under your foot and roll it back and forth to target sore areas,” wrote one customer review.

A Spring Water Facial Mist That’s So Calming & Soothing

Avène Thermal Spring Water, Soothing Calming Facial Mist

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Sometimes your face needs a little refresh, which is where this calming spring water mist comes in handy. Not only does it soothe the skin, it also helps restore your skin’s balance, while reducing sensitivities. Just hold the bottle upright before spraying your face and waiting two to three minutes before patting it dry to absorb excess moisture.

This Deep Conditioning Hair Mask That Hydrates

Hydrating Hair Mask - Deep Conditioning Treatment for Dry, Frizzy & Damaged Hair - Keratin Mask with Coconut & Argan Oils, Collagen & Wheat Protein - Smooths, Softens & Controls Frizz, Curl-Safe, 10oz

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Bring damaged and dry hair back to life with these hydrating hair mask that will leave each strand soft, while controlling frizz in the process. It’s made with ingredients such as coconut and argan oils, and keratin and wheat protein to promote stronger and healthier strands. “[The] Conditioner itself is thick and easy to coat the whole head, but feels silky and very smooth,” one buyer wrote. “The fragrance is very subtle and fresh.”

Overnight Wrinkle Patches For Crow’s Feet

Morrow Wrinkle Patches (66 Pieces)

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Combat fine wrinkles and smile lines while your sleep with these overnight wrinkle patches. Available in a pack of 66, they’re infused with peptides, hyaluronic acid, and gluconolacctone to hydrate your skin and boost the overall elasticity for a more firm appearance. The best part is they’re suitable for sensitive skin and have ample flexibility, making them easy to apply (and remove).

A Creamy Hydrating Body Lotion With Vitamin E

Gold Bond Age Renew Crepe Corrector Body Lotion

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This age-renewing body lotion is packed with a laundry list of nourishing ingredients, such as peptides, omega fatty acids, and botanicals, all of which work together to deeply hydrate and visibly tighten your skin. “The formula has a rich, smooth texture rather than feeling like a thin or watery material, and it feels like excellent quality,” wrote one buyer.

A Water Bottle With Time Markers To Remind You To Drink Up

OLDLEY Water Bottle with Time Markers

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This time marker water bottle is a great way to stay hydrated throughout the day, without having to think about it. The 32-ounce container is made from BPA-free plastic, which means it doesn’t have toxic chemicals and won’t hold odors over time. What’s even better is, that it’s fitted with a flip-lock lid that opens and closes with just a press of a button.

This Collagen-Rich Peptide Gloss For Hydrating Lips

Paula's Choice Pro-Collagen Peptide Gloss Lip Balm

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Makeup and skin care in one compact tube, this pro-collagen peptide lip gloss is as pretty as it is nourishing and hydrating. The formula itself is nonsticky and looks so pretty on — plus its peptide-rich formula is designed to promote more luscious lips. Choose between translucent pink and deep plum shades on offer.

Cushioned Clogs For Maximum Comfort

WHITIN Cushioned Clogs

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Perfect for gardening, yard work, or simply lounging around the house, these cushioned clogs are bound to become your new favorite, off-duty shoe. It’s made in a chunky yet surprisingly lightweight mule design that’s fitted with an optional ankle strap for added stability. They come in more than a handful of different colors, including a bright shade of red.

• Available sizes: 6 — 11
• Available colors: 5+

A Hydrating Balm For Your Lips, Elbows, & Cuticles

The Ordinary Squalane + Amino Acids Hydrating Lip Balm, for Lips, Elbows, and Cuticles

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Soft supple skin is one of the more underrated ways to instantly look hotter and younger, which is why this hydrating balm from The Ordinary is worth adding to cart. Filled with squalane and amino acids for added moisture, the formula is designed to be used on many different parts of your body (not just your lips), including but not limited to your elbows and cuticles. Plus, it’s suitable for all skin types.

This Strengthening Polish That Gives Your Nails A Glow & Shine

essie Hard To Resist Nail Strengthener

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Give your nail beds a glowy refresh with this strengthening polish. The polish is formulated with a bonding technology that creates a protective barrier around your nail, leaving behind a high-shine finish in the process. All you have to do is apply two coats to clean and bare nails and let it dry — wear it for at least three days for the best results.

A Forehead Wrinkle Patch For Visibly Smoother Skin

Okela Forehead Wrinkle Patches (20-Pack)

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Introduce these forehead wrinkle patches into your skin-care routine for some extra moisture where you might need it. They come in a pack of 20, each of which is infused with ingredients like collagen to help restore the elasticity to your skin. Just place them on your forehead every night — the brand promises noticeable results in just three weeks.

This Lace-Mesh Bra That Lifts & Minimizes

HSIA Minimizer Bras for Women Full Coverage Underwire Bras Plus Size Lifting Lace Bra for Heavy Breast Black

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Made with bigger busts in mind, this lace mesh bra is equal parts aesthetically pleasing and supportive, which will have you grabbing for it again and again. It’s fitted with an underwire design that keeps you lifted and feeling secure, too. Choose between a dozen different colors on offer, including yellow and coral red.

• Available sizes: 28B — 48G
• Available colors: 15+

An Energizing Eye Balm For Reducing Puffiness & Dark Circles

TULA Skin Care Eye Balm

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This cooling energizing eye balm is a quick and easy way to make you look more awake, even when you only got a few hours. It’s infused with caffeine to tighten and firm the appearance of your skin, while the prebiotics maintain skin balance. Choose between five different colors on offer, including shimmery shades of bronze and gold.

An Invisible Cinch Clip For Quick Tailored Clothing

Tailor Ring Invisible Clothing Cinch Clips (8-Pack)

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Very few things can make you look quite as disheveled as ill-fitting clothes and these cinch clips are the perfect solution. They come in a pack of eight, invisible rings, along with 100 latex-free elastic bands that allow for a more secure fit. The different size hoops also help transform the pieces in your closet, making them feel like new.

Ultra-Padded Inserts For Your Most-Worn Shoes

Dr. Scholl's Work All-Day Superior Comfort Insoles (with) Massaging Gel, Men, 1 Pair, Trim to Fit

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Thanks to these massaging gel inserts, you can make any pair of shoes comfortable enough to be worn for hours at a time. Designed specifically for those that are on their feet all day, they are made with hard surfaces like asphalt and concrete in mind, providing extra cushioning and arch support in the process. The best part is, you can trim them according to the shoe, allowing you to find your perfect fit.

This Full-Coverage Sunscreen That Goes On Clear

Supergoop! SPF 50 Unseen Sunscreen

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If you’re looking to add a SPF to your skin-care lineup, this sunscreen is a great place to start. Not only does it offer complete coverage from harmful UV rays, it also goes on clear and smooth for a barely-there look that’s so weightless you can layer it underneath skin tints and foundation, seamlessly. “There’s no white cast, streaking, or unevenness; it really is invisible once applied,” wrote one shopper.

A Weighted Eye Mask For A Good Night’s Sleep

FACEMOON Weighted Eye Mask

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Between the pressure-free cups and sealed, blackout design, this weighted eye mask pretty much guarantees a great night’s sleep. The padded, three-dimensional silhouette has strong stitching and an adjustable strap for a secure fit. It’s especially great for traveling — think road trips and long-haul flights.

A UV-Protective Bucket Hat For Harsh Sun Rays

SHINCHIC UPF-50+ Bucket Hat

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Great for camping, hiking, as well as long walks around the park, this UV-protective bucket hat is a great way to prevent sun damage. It’s made from a lightweight canvas material with an adjustable drawstring that offers a secure fit. Choose between more than a dozen wear-with-anything colors such as khaki, navy blue, and army green.

A Red Light Therapy Massager For Sculpting Your Face

Dopsikn 7 Color Galvanic Machines - Red Light Therapy for Face and Neck, Face Massager Tool for Wrinkles, Double Chin, Vibrating Facial Massager with Thermals, White

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Sculpt your chin from the comfort of your own home with this red light therapy massaging tool. The Y-shaped silhouette fits perfectly in the space between your neck and chin and has a heat setting, gentle vibration, and seven different color LED lights with different functions. Plus, it only takes two hours to recharge completely.

This Anti-Frizz Hair Spray For Waterproof Hair

Color Wow Dream Coat Supernatural Anti-frizz Hair Spray

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Perfect for those with naturally curly and coiled hair, this anti-frizz spray will protect your hair from humidity, keep it sleek and straight. With 110,000 reviews and counting, this popular spray gives each strand a protective coating while ensuring it has a smooth, high-shine finish. The results last through three to four shampoos.

A Contouring Lymphatic Brush For Increasing Blood Circulation

LPZXH Lymphatic Contour Face Brush

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For a sculpted, more contoured appearance, incorporate this lymphatic dry brush into your skin-care routine. It has a wooden base with ultra-soft bristles and an ergonomic design that fits comfortably in the palm of your hand for a secure grip. It’s ideal for enhancing blood circulation, and diminishing morning puffiness for firmer and more radiant-looking skin.

This Permanent Hair Color Kit For Touching Up Your Roots

L'Oreal Paris Magic Root Permanent Hair Color Kit (2 Count)

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Get rid of unwanted gray roots with this permanent hair color kit that you can do from the comfort of your own home, no professional help needed. It comes complete with everything you need to get the job done, such as gloves, color gel, a precision tip and soft brush applicator, as well as a conditional developer bottle. Choose between more than a dozen different hair colors on offer, including multiple shades of brown, allowing you to find your perfect match.

An Under-Eye Brightener That Makes You Look Wide Awake

Catrice Under-Eye Brightener

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This under-eye brightening balm is chock full of hydrating and nourishing ingredients to make you look wide awake, regardless of how little sleep you actually got. Made to get rid of dark circles and puffiness, it’s made from shea butter with hyaluronic acid for added moisture. It comes in five different shades that will match a wide range of skin tones.

Lip Scrub Brushes For Easy Exfoliation

Lip Scrub Brush,Lip Scrubber Exfoliator,Double-Sided Silicone Lip Exfoliating Tool,Gentle Lip Exfoliator Scrubber Brush for Smooth,Soft,Bright,and Healthy Lips(5 PCS) (5 Colors)

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Achieve a soft, smooth, and supple pout with this five-piece set of colorful exfoliating lip scrub brushes. They’re made from flexible silicone with a textured surface that is gentle yet abrasive enough to buff away dead and dry skin. Pair this with your favorite hydrating lip balm for best results.

This Relaxing Pillow Spray For A Deep Sleep

thisworks Deep Sleep Pillow Spray

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Sleep is an essential. But if you’re someone who has difficulty falling asleep, this relaxing pillow spray can transform your bedroom into a spa-like experience. It’s scented with lavender, chamomile, and vetiver fragrance that is calming and helps promote rest. All you need is spritz two to three sprays on your bedding before you unwind for the evening.

Viral Overnight Collagen Masks For Glass Skin

medicube Overnight Jelly Gel Mask with Salmon DNA PDRN (4 Count)

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If you’re someone who keeps up with the latest beauty and skin-care trends, then you know that this overnight collagen mask has been having a moment for quite awhile. Available in a pack of four, each individually-wrapped sheet mask is infused with salmon DNA PDRN, which will give your skin a glowy, glass-like appearance. Just put one on before you fall asleep, and leave it on for at least three hours for the best results.

This Brightening & Moisturizing Shampoo For Gray Hair

L'Oreal Paris EverPure Brightening and Nourishing Shampoo for Gray Hair

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Embrace your maturing strands with this brightening shampoo for gray hair. The sulfate free and vegan formula with peptides enhances fullness, while revitalizing fragile hair in the process. In addition to the fact that it’s suitable for all shades of gray, it also has a subtle yet sophisticated scent with notes of magnolia and bergamot.

Melt-Away Melatonin Mints For A Good Night’s Sleep

Neuro Sleep & Recharge Meltaway Mints (72 Count)

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If you’re looking for something to help you sleep at night but will have you waking up feeling recharged, these melt-away mints with melatonin are worth adding to cart. Just place one tablet in your mouth 20 to 30 minutes before your scheduled bedtime for enhanced relaxation. “I love that they’re non-habit forming and don’t leave me feeling groggy the next morning,” wrote one shopper. “The flavor is light and pleasant, not overpowering, and they dissolve quickly without any chalky aftertaste.”

Easy Drawstring Jeans That Are Stylish & Comfortable

Sidefeel High-Waisted Straight-Leg Drawstring Jeans

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These drawstring jeans are chic but super comfortable. They’re made in a classic high-rise, five-pocket design with a straight-leg fit. But the best part is the adjustable drawstring waist that make them feel a little more relaxed. Choose between more than a dozen different washes on offer, including a bold shade of smoke green that’s sure to stand out in your denim collection.

• Available sizes: 2 — 18
• Available colors: 15+

This Brightening Serum That Gets Rid Of Dark Spots

Topicals Faded Brightening & Clearing Serum

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If you’re someone who struggles with dark spots and other acne-related blemishes, this brightening serum is definitely worth adding to your shopping cart. The kojic acid and niacinamide in the formula hydrate and minimize discoloration and scarring from acne. “I have a lot of post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation, this stuff is working,” one buyer gushed. “I’m already on my second bottle.”

An Ice Roller Set for De-Puffing Your Face & Eyes

Leeshine Ice Roller Set for Face and Eyes

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This ice roller set will get rid of inflammation and puffiness within seconds. Just place this facial tool in the freezer a few hours to chill then pull it out. Roll slowly over your cheeks, neck, and forehead to reduce inflammation, promote lymphatic drainage, and de-puff your skin. It can also be used as a way to alleviate fatigue while also soothing muscles and headaches, too.

A Smoothing Camisole That Will Make You Look More Put Together

SHAPERMINT Scoop Neck Smoothing Cami

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Doubling as shapewear, this smoothing camisole is perfect for layering. It’s made from a lightweight yet highly-technical stretchy fabric that will go undetected when paired under tight-fitting tops and dresses. Use the adjustable shoulder straps to find your desired fit.

• Available sizes: Small — 4X-Large
• Available colors: 10+

Cozy Cloud Mules That Make Standing On Your Feet Way Comfier

Project Cloud Memory Foam 100% Genuine Leather Platform Mule Clogs

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These cozy platform mules are like walking on a cloud. They’re made with supple, genuine suede and plush memory foam that’s so comfortable you’ll never want to take them off. The adjustable heel straps at the back add to their versatility.

• Available sizes: 5.5 — 11
• Available colors: 5+

An Ergonomic Cooling Pillow For Better Sleep At Night

Cozyplayer Cooling Neck Pillow

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This neck pillow will ensure you get ample rest, night after night. It’s made from a plush, cloud-like surface in an ergonomic shape that supports your head while keeping your spine in alignment, which means you won’t wake up with any stiffness or pain. The design is especially great for side and stomach sleepers who have trouble getting comfortable.

A Stretching Strap For Increasing Flexibility

Trideer Stretching Strap for Physical Therapy, Non-Elastic Yoga Strap with 10 Loops, Durable Nylon Stretch Bands for Exercise, Pilates, Gymnastics, Leg Stretcher with Guidance

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Regularly stretching can make you feel so much younger, and these nonelastic stretching straps are a great place to start. Designed with 10 loops, the strap comes complete with a guide book that’s filled with band-related exercises that can be used for pilates, yoga, gymnastics, and more. It’s also a great companion for those that are in physical therapy, post injury.

Under-Eye Masks That Are Super Hydrating

grace & stella Award Winning Under Eye Mask Reduce Dark Circles, Puffy Eyes, Undereye Bags, Wrinkles, Gel Under Eye Patches, Nurse Gifts, Vegan Cruelty-Free Self Care (6 Pairs, Blue)

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These under-eye masks have a hydro-gel texture that’s infused with ingredients like niacinamide and hyaluronic acid for maximum hydration. “I see an immediate difference the second I take them off, [my] eyes are brighter, less puffy and dark circles are diminished (really can you ask for anything more),” wrote one happy customer in their review. This is a set of six and you can throw them in your travel bag or purse for on-the-go use.

A 3-In-1 Makeup Primer For Color-Correcting Dark Spots

Xiuxixu 3-In-1 Color-Correcting Primer

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Whether you’re someone who likes wearing a full face of foundation or simply uses concealer to cover up blemishes, this three-in-one color-correcting primer will work hard in your makeup routine. Not only does it work has a good base, it’s also deeply hydrating with SPF 50 for sun protection. Apply a thin layer to your skin for a natural radiance before adding any makeup you’d like.

Some weeks, these confessions are truly a random grab bag. There will be little wins and relationship woes, the struggles of modern parenting and dealing with in-laws. And this week, true to form, there’s a lot of that. But it wouldn’t be right to ignore the one thing that keeps resurfacing in the latest confessions: fear.

So many moms wrote in about the Cornell 7. Some moms have been triggered, revealing their own traumatic pasts. A lot of moms can’t get over the complicity of the other boys in the group text, expressing very valid concerns about what that says about the ways we’re raising our sons... and what it means for our daughters.

So, yes, there’s a lot of fear in this batch. And anger (anger is definitely an appropriate response) over being told, again, that this is just how things are. How the world works.

But this is still Confessions, and women contain multitudes. On top of struggling under the heaviness of the headlines, moms are also annoyed over their husband’s man-cold and celebrating a health milestone and just wishing someone, anyone, other than them would decide what’s for dinner one damn time. And, as always, none of that makes you “too much” or dramatic. It means you’re paying attention and, hey, you came to exactly the right place to pour it all out.

So, here’s this week’s haul, shared anonymously by moms who needed to vent.

Scary Mommy Confessions are a tried-and-true part of what makes our site so fun. If you want to anonymously confess, look for our weekly callouts on Instagram. And to browse past Confessions, take a look here.

It happens all the time: A woman walks into her annual gynecology exam with a list of concerns, from irregular periods to itchy ears, and leaves disappointed when there’s no time to address them all. That’s because perimenopause and its myriad potential symptoms are a massive transition for all the systems in your body — meaning it deserves its own appointment, rather than trying to get all your questions answered between your Pap smear and breast exam.

Scary Mommy spoke with two perimenopause experts about when you should make an appointment just to talk perimenopause with your OB-GYN, and how to best prepare to get the most from your time with them.

When should you see your doctor about perimenopause?

Perimenopause isn’t a disease; it’s a normal part of life, says Dr. Alyssa Dweck, a board-certified OB-GYN, Menopause Society-certified practitioner, and chief Medical Officer at Bonafide Health. If you just want to check in about where you might be in your perimeno journey or ask a few questions, your annual appointment is a fine time to do so.

“But if symptoms are interfering with quality of life, work, or relationships, or just general day-to-day discomfort or anxiety, they should certainly be brought up separately at a more directed visit,” she says. “It should be addressed, but with a more detailed visit set separately and dedicated so that the appropriate amount of time can be given to that subject.”

If you do start by bringing up your perimenopause concerns during your annual, be realistic in your expectations. You may or may not leave with solutions that day.

“The annual exam is a very specifically designed visit where we focus on prevention of cervical cancer, breast cancer, and colon cancer. I have these things that I have to cover at an annual. Women oftentimes come in with this list of 12 things and leave very frustrated and really demoralized that they're not heard,” says Dr. Christy Guepet, board-certified OB-GYN and female pelvic medicine reconstructive surgeon, Menopause Society-certified practitioner, and member of the This Is Menopause advisory committee.

Instead, use that time to gauge if your usual provider seems well-equipped to manage perimenopause and whether you want to schedule that next, more dedicated appointment with them or someone else.

“Just start the conversation and figure out: Do you have the right team around you to help you at this stage of your life? The team that you would've created for yourself 10 years ago might not serve your needs at this stage in life. You really are looking for someone to help you navigate your decisions and choices at this stage in life. If the answer is that this is not this provider's niche or passion, then that's still good information because it allows you to start moving to another decision where you find that navigator.”

How To Prepare For Your Perimenopause Appointment

We all know doctors’ time is short and perimenopause is a huge topic to tackle. How can you get all of your questions answered and your problems on their way to being solved? Doing your homework goes a very long way, Guepet says.

Jot down the dates of your last few periods, at least.

“Something that wastes a lot of time during a visit, at least in my experience, is fiddling through a calendar to figure out when your last period was, and then the one before that, and how many days it lasted. Keeping some sort of a tracker or calendar of your menstrual cycles or lack thereof can be very, very helpful to hone in on where somebody is in the journey of perimenopause and menopause,” says Dweck. “I can't tell you how many times it's taken 10 minutes, 10 precious minutes, for someone to figure out their last period. And that's just a waste because that can be figured out beforehand.”

Bring a list of your symptoms, including the top three that affect your life most.

Sit down and truly think about which symptoms have the biggest impact on your quality of life. This helps your doctor know where to start in getting you relief.

“Women who come in for new consults here are oftentimes kind of stunned into silence when I say, ‘I want you to give me your top three symptoms that brought you through the door today.’ And I'm telling you, it happens at least once a week where a woman is stunned and sometimes she'll brim with tears because she's never been asked that question or sat down with a pencil and paper to ask herself that question.”

This Is Menopause is a free community of women and menopause experts with resources that can help you understand what issues you’re experiencing may be perimenopause-related. You could start with their interactive symptom tracker, which points out that sleep issues, panic attacks, and more can be linked back to perimeno.

Print out your medical history on actual paper to bring with you.

You don’t want to spend your precious face time logging into four different health portals to find the dates of your last mammogram and Pap smear, which a menopause specialist is going to ask for. And God forbid the Wi-Fi is down.

“As archaic as paper is, if you have that on paper, that can now be captured into a chart in a meaningful way. I encourage women to bring paper with their mammogram report, with their Pap smear report, if they've had some significant past medical history or surgeries to the cervix or biopsies of the breast. The more information that we can have from the outset, the quicker we can set a plan into action,” says Guepet. “I oftentimes have to work on that action plan after I meet someone where we start doing that homework after the fact, and that's fine. But it delays a working plan.”

Depending on your concerns, log your related behaviors.

Need your doctor’s help to manage uncomfortable bloating? A food journal is the best way for your doctor to try and identify potential foods or times of meals triggering the issue, Dweck says. If you’re getting up to pee multiple times a night, jot down your drinking habits and bathroom visits throughout the day.

“A voiding journal can be very helpful so we can identify things like is there too much caffeine? Are you hydrating at the wrong time? Is there something going on medically that we need to address?” Dweck explains.

Don’t hesitate to ask your questions.

No topics are off limits, and they’ve heard all the sex questions you could possibly have before, Dweck says. There are also so many possible concerns to address that your doctor can’t possibly bring up every single one to check if it’s affecting you.

“Don't be embarrassed or ashamed to ask your questions or relay your concerns, whether they're sexual in nature or having to do with urinating or whatever else might be sort of considered taboo in the usual realm, because most of the time your doctor's heard it before. If they're ill-equipped to manage it, they should be able to refer you to somebody who can. Not all doctors are going to bring up those sort of less comfortable topics to talk about, so we really do rely on people to bring up what's bothersome.”

What To Expect At Your Perimenopause Appointment

We’re so used to annual exams, climbing onto a table and sticking our feet in the stirrups. What will a perimenopause appointment even entail? It will vary from doctor to doctor, but a physical exam can sometimes be part of the to-do list, depending on your concerns or the last time you saw an OB-GYN, Dweck says, who adds that pelvic ultrasounds are also pretty common.

You can also expect a lot of bloodwork to be ordered, though not necessarily for hormone levels like you might think. “Hormone testing, particularly during perimenopause, is really just a window in time and may not reflect what's going on every day or as an overall trend. But [there will be] plenty of blood work because some of the symptoms that women will complain of can overlap with symptoms of things like thyroid disease, anemia, heart disease, or high blood pressure. So we really want to get to the root of these symptom problems,” she adds.

Your doctor will also talk to you a lot about lifestyle modifications, Dweck says. “No matter whether someone chooses high-dose hormones or other medications or herbal supplements or to do nothing at all for their symptoms, diet, exercise, sleep optimization, stress reduction — these are all things that can be so helpful.”

Finally, expect this appointment to be one in a series, not a one-and-done magic bullet for perimenopause, Guepet says. Check in with yourself once or twice a week about the changes you’ve made — like starting magnesium to help with sleep or beginning hormone replacement therapy — and ask yourself if they’re helping, and how. These notes can be incredibly helpful at follow-up appointments so your doctor can assess what’s working well and what isn’t.

“The older we get, the longer it can take to see differences. So expect from the outset, this is going to take time and it's going to be a two steps forward and a step back process. Even a step backwards is still meaningful information,” Guepet says. “There's never been a better time in history to be a perimenopausal woman. We can now talk about things that generations before us found taboo. So we can focus on what didn't work or we can say, you know what? That's meaningful too, and I'm going to just stay empowered and informed and committed to prioritizing myself.”

When the kids are asking for Drunk Elephant and starting multi-step skincare routines before 18, it can feel like you’re behind the curve in preventing signs of aging. Most of us know that retinol is sort of the be-all and end-all of anti-aging skincare, having been proven to reduce the appearance of wrinkles, fade scarring and dark spots, and clear blemishes. But if you’re looking in the mirror at wrinkles that already seem to have set in, you may wonder... Is 40 too late to start retinol? Scary Mommy asked two skin experts who adamantly agreed: Any time is the right time to start.

Retinol works by boosting the skin’s production of collagen, says Dr. Tracy Evans, board-certified dermatologist and founder and medical director of Pacific Skin, which is especially important if you are trying to combat signs of aging.

“There's never too late a time to start it. In fact, if you haven't started it, start it now. It is always going to be very helpful to improve your skin condition; it's never too late to boost some collagen. So I would say if you haven't used it at 40, start now.”

“I don't think it's ever too late to start a retinol,” agrees Melissa Fox, licensed esthetician and founder of Flawless by Melissa Fox. “Your collagen starts to slow down after 30 or 40 years old; you can always speed it up, and retinol is just such a great tool for that.”

If you’re new to retinol, it can be intimidating to start now. What should women in their 40s know before they add it to their routine? You’ll want to take stock of all the products you currently use and make sure you’re not using too many active ingredients on your skin at once, Evans suggests.

“The most important difference between younger skin, say 20s skin and 40s skin, is the amount of oil that's produced. Because of that, their skin may be drier, and drier skin is in general more sensitive skin,” says Evans. “So it's very important to minimize other drying agents. People will be using vitamin C and a retinoid, and they're using salicylic acid or alpha-hydroxy acid, and then they're coming in to our clinic and they're super dried out or irritated or sensitized.”

Here are Evans’ and Fox’s expert tips for slowly building up your skin’s tolerance to retinol:

• When you first start retinol, use it once a week, and always apply it at night. Sunlight destroys the molecules doing the heavy lifting in retinol, Evans says, so don’t put it on in the daytime and expect to see results. Starting out slow and gradually increasing how many nights a week you use it also gives your skin time to adjust, reducing irritation and dryness for you.
• Wait 15 minutes after cleansing the face before applying retinol, Fox says. The retinol penetrates deeper on damp skin, but that can make it too harsh for beginners.
• Use a pea-sized amount and dot it around the face before rubbing it in. This helps distribute the product evenly and reduce irritation, says Fox.
• Apply a hydrating serum, then your retinol, and finally a moisturizer, both experts say. That thin hydrating layer helps counter retinol-induced dryness without blocking it out, while the finishing moisturizer layer helps add in lots of extra hydration.

Both experts also said the best thing you can do for your skin is to wear sunscreen daily — in the winter, indoors, on cloudy days, always. Not only does this help prevent skin cancer and reduce signs of aging, but your skin is more sensitive to the sun while using retinol. It will need that protection in order for you to see results.

The one place Fox and Evans disagree is about what type of retinol you should reach for (and there are so many on the market now).

“I do think people tolerate over-the-counter much better than prescription,” says Fox. “It's really important to know your skin and not just dive right into the most aggressive retinol you can find just because you think you're going to get a better result. You need to start slow and condition the skin.”

On the other hand, consumers can be confident in the product they’re getting when using prescription tretinoin, Evans says. “You have no idea what the retinol is they're using. It could be a tiny concentration or not even work. Tretinoin is a true FDA-approved molecule. It's shown to boost collagen, it's shown to improve acne, and it is a great retinoid. You want to start at the very lowest dose, which is the 0.25%, and that should be used only once a week.”

So while both Fox and Evans say in a perfect world everyone would wear sunscreen from birth and start retinol in their 20s, it’s never too late to do both.

“I’m going for a walk!” I yell up the stairs to my family as I snatch my earbuds from the large silver fish-shaped dish on our entry table. It’s become such a frequent occurrence lately that it’s starting to feel like a ritual: I wake up, see or read some infuriating new headline, feel the sickly heat of anger start to swell up in my chest, and holler that familiar refrain to my household before bolting out the door and down the street, arms pumping, jaw set, mentally steaming.

A year or two ago, I might have joked I was going on another “hot girl walk.” We all know the term. It has inundated our social media feeds since 2021, when University of Southern California student Mia Lind coined it during the pandemic as a way to focus on gratitude and relieve stress. If you’re a woman and you’re strolling somewhere, boom: hot girl walk. We were hot girl walking here and hot girl walking there, hot girl walking to the mailbox and down to the dog park. And that was great!

But times have changed. The “hot girl walks” women are angry. Rightfully so. We’re looking around at the world and getting all worked up, and well, a hot girl walk just doesn’t hit the same when you’re filled with rage (because *gestures broadly at everything*).

So, might I tender the following suggestion? If summer was for hot girl walks, let fall be for “spite strolls.” I know that whenever I’m close to combusting, a rage-fueled loop does wonders. And according to therapists, my instinct to stomp around the block is actually a good one.

Why your body wants to stomp

“Anger is a full-body event before it’s ever a thought,” says Dr. Easton Gaines, a clinical psychologist and founder of MindCare Psychology. What’s happening inside? Your sympathetic nervous system kicks in, adrenaline and cortisol surge, your heart rate climbs, and your muscles tense. “Your body is literally getting ready to do something.”

Of course, so often when we’re angry, we don’t do anything about it. We just sort of resume regular life, because life doesn’t really care about our righteous anger. So, we respond to texts and answer emails. We unload the dishwasher (loudly, with fervor). Gaines points to what Emily and Amelia Nagoski, authors of Burnout, call an incomplete stress cycle: the stressor passes, but all that mobilized energy stays put.

Enter: walking. “Moving can help because you are doing what your body is primed to do in that moment and giving all that ‘fight’ energy a place to go,” explains Dr. Rachel Proujansky, a clinical psychologist in private practice in New York City.

Or, as Gaines puts it, “You can’t think your way out of a physiological state. You have to move through it.”

The importance of strolling, not stewing

The thing is, you want your spite stroll to be productive, and there’s one surefire way for it not to be.

“Rumination is replaying the argument for the fortieth time and drafting the perfect comeback, and every replay re-triggers the stress response,” says Gaines. “So you can walk three miles and come home more activated than when you left.”

What you want to do instead is try channeling, which Proujansky says can take one of three forms:

1. You can admit you’re too angry to think straight and use the walk to focus on something else until you cool down.
2. You can walk and problem-solve at the same time.
3. Or you can simply let yourself feel it and notice what anger is like in your body.

The trick here is to pick one before you head out. Mandy Lam, a licensed clinical social worker, music therapist, and founder of Mindful Roots Collective, suggests setting an intention at the door: Is this walk about burning off energy, or about figuring out what my anger is about?

How to boost the benefits

If you really want to make your spite stroll count, experts say there are certain strategies you can tap into to maximize the benefits.

Start in your body.

Don’t jump straight into mulling over whatever story has you fired up. Rather, spend the first few minutes focusing on your body, says Gaines: “Notice the heat in your chest, the clench in your jaw, the speed of your stride. Name it: ‘I’m so angry.’ Naming it is regulating.”

Attach a role to the tension.

In other words, notice where your tension is and then use it almost like a diagnostic tool. “If your fists are clenched, maybe you try shaking them out,” says Sarah Razo, a licensed therapist who specializes in somatics (and a mom herself). Tight shoulders? Give them a gentle stretch mid-stride. If your brain keeps reloading the argument or stressor, she recommends counting your footsteps.

Build your perfect playlist.

You had to know it was coming, right? Few things in this world feel better than scream-singing a song (even if you’re just scream-singing it in your head) that feeds your mood. And Lam confirms that listening to music that matches your emotional state can help you process and release the feeling, a core tenet of music therapy.

Dr. David Timpanaro of Step Up Family Services has a specific suggestion: “An angry song like ‘Break Stuff’ by Limp Bizkit can help push that anger to the top.” Something lighter, he adds, can bring you back down when you’re ready for the rage to subside.

Enjoy the free cardio.

Hey, walking is good for us; this we know! And when people are mad, they tend to walk faster. “You might get the most vigorous workout of your week courtesy of whatever annoyed you,” points out Gaines, adding, “Brisk movement helps metabolize those stress hormones, and many people notice their heart rate and tension settle lower afterward than where they started.”

Why moms especially need somewhere to put their frustrations

Women are told from an early age that anger is unbecoming or “hysterical,” and that a good woman (and, later, mother) absorbs it and smiles.

But the experts would like a f*cking word.

“Trying to suppress our emotions is like trying to push a kickboard under the water,” says Proujansky. “It takes a lot of force, and when we inevitably lose that firm grip, we don’t know exactly what direction it’s going to come flying out in.” Giving anger a place to go means “we can choose how it comes out.”

It also helps to stop thinking of or treating anger like some character flaw. “Anger is information. It tells you a boundary has been crossed, a need isn’t being met, or the load you’re carrying isn’t fair,” says Gaines. “Good moms get angry. They’re humans doing a relentless job, often on very little sleep.”

And it’s worth mentioning that our kids are watching. When they see us address our anger, name it, move it, and come back calmer, Gaines says that “they learn big feelings are survivable and manageable. That’s a far better lesson than ‘Mom is always fine… until she’s suddenly not.’”

How to stick the landing

If whatever set you off is still waiting when you finish your walk, don’t just rush right back in. Gaines suggests pausing beforehand to take stock of what’s shifted. Take three slow breaths with long exhales, asking yourself what the anger was trying to tell you.

Then it’s up to you to decide what you want to do with the answer.

“I always recommend taking action to either act on what made you angry and address it with a clear mind, or ‘parking lot’ the thought for another day but actively consider how you want to approach it,” says Timpanaro. “The situation that caused you anger is still there, but your ability to approach it with a clear mind is now increased.”

Of course, much of the rage women and moms are feeling right now is a response to the world at large and things that feel completely outside our control. So while we may not be able to directly address or resolve the root of that anger with a spite stroll, at least we’ll be facing those feelings with more clarity, a lower heart rate, and a few thousand extra steps under our belts.

My 13 year old son sends me videos of people falling down. I watch them and I laugh, because apparently neither of us are particularly evolved.

This is part of our relationship now. Someone eats shit while trying to unload their groceries, and my son thinks of me, and a little notification pops up on my phone. I’m not sure it's the exact mother-son bonding activity I envisioned when he was a baby, but here we are.

I was reluctant to let him have Instagram. It took a lot of begging and persuading for all the reasons you are already thinking, plus a few more because my brain likes to work overdrive at night. Strangers, doomscrolling, brain development — you get it.

Plus, I have Instagram. I know how quickly “I’m just checking one thing” turns into three hours of watching a farmer shave his horse’s hooves in order to find potential infection. It’s a whole world that I wasn’t exactly eager to let my eighth grader wade into.

But eventually, I agreed to let him have it with close monitoring and plenty of rules.

I expected to spend a lot of time reminding him to put his phone away. I expected a lot of check-ins where I had to set more limits and teach him lessons. What I didn’t expect was that he would start sending me DMs.

Voluntarily. Without needing money. Without needing a ride, or permission, or a snack. He sent them just because!

At first, it was funny videos. People wiping out. The kind of dumb content that makes you laugh even when you shouldn’t. Then came the lacrosse clips. He would send me a clip of an insane pass or shot and later in the car would mention it: “hey mom, did you see that insane shot I sent you?!”

And I get to say yes. I ask questions about how the hell someone does that and he explains it and then all of a sudden we’re having a conversation about something he cares about that I didn’t need to pry out of him. And at 13, that’s a fucking miracle, if you ask me.

I still want to know everything. What happened at lunch, how his friends are doing, what’s bothering him, but that line of questioning drives him nuts. So, the DMs give us something to start with.

He also sends dessert recipes,ones made by weird teenage influencers with a seemingly unlimited access to candy. And one day, he sent me a Reese’s peanut butter cup dip.

The next day I went to the store and got all of the ingredients so when he walked in from school there it was on the counter: his amazing, 7,000 calorie, dream Instagram dessert for us to share. We sat together and talked about his day. Nothing dramatic or revolutionary but meaningful, and perfect.

I am still going to monitor his account. I am still going to enforce the limits. But for now I am really happy to keep the Instagram DM conversation going. Because if there is a way I can connect with him in a positive way, I am all in.

Samm is an ex-lawyer and mom of four who swears a lot. Find her on Instagram @sammbdavidson.

When was the last time you snuck a note into your child’s lunchbox? If it's been a while, experts say it's time to do it again.

Author, parenting coach, and teacher Melissa Schwartz says she's a "huge proponent" of lunchbox notes for kids. "Leaving short love notes for children is a wonderful way to stay connected, especially in a world where so little communication is tangible," she tells Scary Mommy. "A short note with a doodle or sticker is a fabulous way to remind your child that you're thinking of them even when you're not together. Writing a few affirming words — like 'You're so special' or 'I can't wait to snuggle with you this evening' — keeps your connection going throughout the day. They don't have to be long to be impactful!"

Let's lay it out: Once your child is in school, you'll only get to spend about a third of each day with them. They'll spend the other two-thirds sleeping (hopefully) or in a classroom. And what does that last third of their day look like? It's probably a mess of activities: practices, homework, chores, meals, and simply "getting ready" for any combination of those. It's super-easy to get caught up in the tasks and lose sight of the connection. Even if you're one of the few families in the U.S. who manages to make time for family dinners around a table, filling up your child's bucket with encouragement isn't always prioritized. Yes, it is important to take time to listen to them vent, help them work through a problem, or rehash major events of the day or week. But sometimes, your kid just needs to be lifted up.

Enter: lunchbox notes. This is your chance to show a multitude of things. Did they mention they were nervous about a test? Remind them how smart you think they are. Or you could even give them a pre-test reminder about something they'll need to know. Are they secretly crushing on the kid who sits two tables away, but they don't feel confident enough to say hello? A lunchbox note is a great way to offer a quick, sneaky pep talk or ego boost. And if they're having a tough week? Send them a silly joke sure to make them laugh.

Need inspo? You've obviously come to the right place. The following lunchbox notes beg to be borrowed.

Encouraging Lunchbox Notes

• You’re so smart.
• Have an amazing day!
• You have the best smile... share it with someone new today.
• You’re kicking butt today!
• I believe in you.
• Guess who has the best kid? I do!
• You can do anything you set your mind to.
• I’m so proud that you’re my kiddo.
• You’re such a good friend.
• You’re the kindest kid I know.
• Work hard, but be kind.
• You’re so special.
• I wish I had your style when I was your age.
• I really like your new haircut.
• Let your light shine.
• Thanks for being my kid.
• The test will be easier than you think.
• Go talk to him/her/them. (Be vague!)
• You’ve read. You’ve studied. You’ve done the work.
• You’ve got this!
• There is no one else like you in this world.
• You are so loved.
• Smile! Somebody loves you. (It’s me!)
• You are “dino”-mite!
• IOU: an extra hug after school today.

Food-Related Lunchbox Notes

• Love you from my head to-ma-toes.
• Eat up!
• Superheroes always eat their lunch.
• Love you a latte!
• I think you’re grape.
• Nom nom nom!
• Love you, pumpkin.
• We go together like peas and carrots.
• You’re berry special to me.
• An apple a day keeps the doctor away. (But not your mama!)
• Olive you!
• Nuts about you.
• If the world were a sundae, you’d be the cherry on top.
• Eat dessert first! (I’ll never know.)
• You’re one smart cookie!
• You’re one in a melon.
• I’m just bananas for you.
• I love you to pizzas.
• Go ahead — eat dessert first.
• Because you’re so sweet, here’s a little treat.

Lunchtime Jokes & Riddles

When all else fails? Send a joke! School jokes or food puns and jokes would be most appropriate, but anything will do in a pinch. Riddles for kids require a bit more thought, but they’re a cute way to engage your child even when you aren’t with them.

• What’s the math teacher’s favorite sum? Summer
• What did one pencil say to the other? “Lookin’ sharp!”
• I am a fruit that is always sad. What am I? A blueberry.
• Which school building has the most stories? The library.
• What do you call a cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!
• What stays hot, even in the refrigerator? A hot dog.
• Why did the computer squeak? Someone stepped on the mouse.
• What happens when you make an egg laugh? It cracks up.
• Why did the banana go to the school nurse? It wasn’t peeling well.
• How do you get straight As? With a ruler.
• What’s the best place to grow a garden in school? In kindergarten.
• How do bees get to school? On a school buzz.
• Why was 10 afraid of 7? Because 7 (8) 9.
• Why did the cookie need a doctor’s excuse? It felt crumb-y.
• What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
• Why was the math book mad? It had too many problems.
• Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? She wanted to go to high school.
• Which building has the most stories? A library.
• How many months have 28 days? All of them!
• When does Friday come before Thursday? In the dictionary.
• What's the best thing to put into a pie? Your teeth!
• Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter? I'm not telling you. You might spread it!
• What is black, white, green, and bumpy? A pickle wearing a tuxedo.
• Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't peeling well.
• What do you give to a sick lemon? Lemon aid.
• What kind of nuts always seem to have a cold? Cashews.
• What bird is with you at every meal? Swallow.
• Why did the student eat his homework? The teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
• Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other? Dill with it.
• What did one plate say to the other plate? Lunch is on me.
• What’s a vegetable’s favorite backyard game? Cornhole.
• What did the vegetable say to its love? I love you from my head to-ma-toes.
• What’s a turnip’s favorite soda? Root beer.
• Why was the artichoke so generous? It had a big heart!

It feels like every minute of every day now comes with a new and worrisome possibility. Headlines about layoffs. News reports about how grocery prices continue to go up. It just gets worse from there. Are we headed for a recession? How long until gas hits $5 a gallon everywhere? Will the war in Iran ever actually end? It’s almost impossible not to crash out thinking about what could happen, and before you know it, you’re imagining a near future where you’ve lost your job or your house or had to pull your kids out of the school they’re in.

It doesn’t matter that those things haven’t taken place; you’ve been sucked into the maelstrom of doom-spiraling.

That’s “future tripping” for you: getting stuck in a loop of anxious what-ifs about things that haven’t happened yet. (It’s relatable enough that Hilary Duff put a song by that name on her comeback album this year.) Most of us know this behavior isn’t helpful. But between the news cycle, the economy, and the general state of the world, it also feels kind of… justified. And because it feels justified, it’s really hard to shake.

I asked therapists what’s actually going on when we spiral and how to interrupt the loop without pretending everything is fine.

What exactly is future tripping?

“Future tripping is the repetitive mental simulation of catastrophic ‘what-if’ scenarios in an attempt to manufacture safety or certainty in an uncertain world,” says Ksenia Ustinova, a therapist, certified Brainspotter, and founder of Root & Return Therapy. In other words, you take something that could happen tomorrow, next week, or months from now and play it out over and over, typically focusing on what might go wrong.

Why is it so hard to stop?

Well, for starters, it works… at first. “One of the biggest reasons it’s so hard to stop is that it can actually create a sense of (very short-lived) relief,” says Nicole Ivelevitch, licensed clinical social worker and founder of Temperance Psychotherapy. “For at least a few seconds, our brain feels like it solved a problem… until the next ‘what if’ comes up.”

Then there’s the fact that your brain isn’t always great at telling a scary thought from a scary situation. “Our brain can’t tell the difference between thinking about it and being in danger, so we can’t let it go,” Aveen Hallissey, an associate psychotherapist at Gateway to Solutions in New York City, says. “Our brains care more about keeping us alive than happy, so we have to go against what they tell us.”

And, you know, it’s not like we all don’t have some very valid things to worry about at the moment.

“The concerns may be real,” says licensed professional counselor Felicia Brown, “but repeatedly imagining them doesn’t necessarily leave you more prepared.”

That’s a hard juxtaposition to wrap your head around: a worry can be valid, and yet worrying about it can also be useless. As Phil Smyth, a licensed professional counselor and executive director at Milestone Treatment Center, puts it, “The goal isn’t to find an answer to every possible future problem; it’s learning to tolerate some uncertainty and remind ourselves that we can handle things as they actually happen.”

Why are moms especially prone to future tripping?

Long story short: Looking ahead is the job. We’re constantly considering future outcomes because we're the ones taking care of everyone. “Women are naturally future-oriented problem-solvers,” says Dr. Azita Sayan, a licensed marriage and family therapist with more than 40 years of experience and the CEO of Embrace Growth.

“Think about it: Throughout history, women have been gatherers, nurturers, and the ones anticipating the needs of their families ... and that’s an extraordinary ability!” Sayan says. “A mother isn’t just thinking about what her child needs today. She’s thinking about next week, next year, their education, their friendships, their future. She’s constantly looking ahead, anticipating needs and figuring out solutions.”

And when your brain is always already three steps ahead, you don’t really have an off switch.

“How does a mom tell her brain to apply that skill and habit only to her family?” asks Alli Spotts-De Lazzer, a licensed marriage and family therapist, psychotherapist, and author. “Of course world woes and other perceived threats sneak in!”

Brown sees a common undercurrent in a lot of her clients’ fears: “If I stop worrying, I’ll drop the ball.” And as moms know, dropping the ball only compounds everything.

“There’s the task itself, and then there’s everything a mom may be afraid that task says about her,” she says. In reality, a forgotten permission slip might mean an email to the school and probably a kid who’s a little disappointed. “But her mind can turn it into: ‘I’m a failure as a mom. I’m not good enough.’ Now she’s worrying about much more than a permission slip.”

What if the usual anxiety advice doesn’t do the trick?

For some moms, the spiral signals more than anxiety. Ustinova says she assumed her own intense future tripping was classic anxiety… until she got diagnosed with ADHD. The diagnosis explained why the advice to “reframe her thoughts” had never helped.

When an ADHD brain is overloaded (hello, motherhood), working memory gets swamped by open loops, Ustinova explains. “The brain tries to solve every future variable simultaneously at once because it lacks the executive bandwidth to organize or compartmentalize them. It isn’t just worrying; it’s an overstimulated nervous system trying to mentally prepare for every conceivable emergency.”

It might be a convo worth flagging with your doctor if you've been trying to logic your way out of doom-spirals to no avail.

How can you interrupt a spiral in the moment?

Name it. Several of the experts who weighed in shared this advice, which Brown admits can take practice if you aren’t used to it. But step back, name it, and then ask yourself what you’re really afraid of and what it could say about you. “We need to separate the actual consequence from the judgment we’re making about ourselves,” she says.

Ask if there’s anything you can truly do. Smyth recommends asking yourself, “Is there something I actually need to do right now, or am I trying to solve a problem that hasn’t happened yet?” Ustinova doubles down, giving it a sense of urgency: Is there a step you can physically take in the next five minutes? If yes, take that tiny step. If no, it’s an unactionable future scenario that can wait.

“How does a mom tell her brain to apply that skill and habit only to her family? Of course world woes and other perceived threats sneak in!” — Alli Spotts-De Lazzer, LMFT

Separate facts from predictions. Ask yourself, “What do I know right now?” followed by, “What am I assuming might happen?” Smyth says. Anxiety tends to blur the two.

Get out of your head and into your body. “You cannot ‘think’ your way out of a body-level threat response,” says Ustinova, who recommends grounding activities like looking around the room and finding five blue objects or feeling your feet on the floor. Ivelevitch likes the 5-4-3-2-1 method: five things you can see, four you can feel, three you can hear, two you can smell, one you can taste.

Put it on paper. Write it all down. Every single what-if, says Ustinova. “Once the brain sees the thoughts externalized, it stops endlessly looping them to avoid forgetting.”

Cut yourself some slack. What you absolutely do not have to do is convince yourself that everything will be OK. Smyth says that can turn into its own form of reassurance-seeking. Instead, try repeating this: “I don’t know exactly how this will turn out, but I don’t have to solve it right now. If something happens, I can deal with it then.”

What are some longer-term habits that might help?

Put worrying on the itinerary. Hallissey has clients set a 15-minute “worry time” each day and save their what-ifs for that window. “It often feels safer to put it down when we know we’ll come back to it.”

Practice being comfortable with the unknown, in little ways. “Get comfortable with making decisions without certainty or reassurance,” Ivelevitch suggests. That might look like picking a nail polish color without polling your friends or saying “I don’t know” instead of Googling every answer.

Keep receipts. “We can spend so much time anticipating what might go wrong that we overlook the times we managed something difficult,” says Brown. So, make a habit out of writing down what you feared would happen, then revisiting it to catalog what actually happened and how you handled it.

Set it and forget it. As in, let planning be finished. Learn to put it down and walk away. “Make your lists, look at the calendar, prepare for the next day, and then give yourself permission to be finished,” says Smyth.

Offload what you can. If you’re the one shouldering the mental load in your home, you don’t need to become a better worrier. “Women don’t need another assignment to become better at handling an unreasonable amount of responsibility; they already do that every day,” reminds Brown. What can help is asking what can be shared and which expectations need to change.

How can we keep from passing this dread cycle to our kids?

For starters, you don’t have to fake being chill. “You don’t have to be a perfectly calm, anxiety-free parent,” says Brown. In fact, kids learn from how you respond to uncertainty, so the goal, as Smyth puts it, is to show them “that we can have a worried thought without automatically treating it as a prediction.”

One caveat from Ivelevitch? “It’s also important to seek adult supports for adult worries; our children shouldn’t feel responsible for reassuring us.”

“The concerns may be real, but repeatedly imagining them doesn’t necessarily leave you more prepared.” — licensed professional counselor Felicia Brown

And if your kid is the one holding down future tripping in your house, skip the “don’t worry; everything will be fine” speech. Every expert we spoke with said you should validate your child’s feelings first, then help them sort out what they know from what they’re imagining. Smyth suggests modeling language like, “That’s something we can think about when it gets closer” or “We don’t know what will happen yet, so let’s focus on what we know right now.”

You don’t need to promise an outcome you can’t guarantee, either. Ivelevitch offers this script: “I can’t say for sure if that will happen or not, but I can see that you’re worried, and I’ll be here to support you no matter what.”

When is it time to get more support?

With so much going on in the world, it’s very natural to have a lot on your mind. But if worrying about the future starts to mess with your sleep, concentration, relationships, or just your sheer ability to enjoy what’s in front of you, it’s probably time to talk to a mental health professional.

As for moms, who tend to hold it all together, Brown issues a firm reminder that “being able to keep everything running doesn’t mean you’re doing OK” and that you don’t have to wait until you’re completely overwhelmed to ask for help.

It goes without saying that none of this means you’ll stop thinking about the future altogether… and you shouldn’t. “We need to plan, prepare, and anticipate,” says Smyth. “The goal is to be able to plan for tomorrow without sacrificing today.”

By now, the back-to-school glow is gone. The adrenaline that carried us through that first transition month from fall to summer has faded, and moms are still out here holding it all down. We make sure all our kids’ forms are signed, that they make it to practices, that their outfits are ready for Spirit Week. We keep a constant tally of who needs supplies restocked and which teachers assign the most homework and who our kids are hanging out with. And you know what? We’re tired.

So while we happily spent July and August shopping for our kids and only our kids, this list is for us. The moms. These are the things Scary Mommy editors have been leaning on and loving since the school year started back to make our lives a little easier, a little cozier, or a little more fun... whether that means gadgets that take something off our plates or luxuries we downright refuse to feel guilty about.

I mean, if we’re going to carry the mental load, we should at least get some good stuff out of it.

Gear By Gash Triple Super Repair

Gear By Gash Triple Super Repair

GearGash -

Back-to-school season is seriously one of the most stressful times of year, and my skin always knows it before I do. The breakouts show up right on schedule, and the Triple Super Repair from Gear by Gash is what I reach for immediately. It's a targeted treatment packed with Centella Asiatica, niacinamide, and peptides that calms inflammation, reduces redness, and speeds up healing so a stress blemish that would normally stick around for a week is visibly better in a couple of days. — Katie Garrity, Senior Editor, News & Social

LifePro DualThera Hand Massager

LifePro DualThera Hand Massager

Lifepro -

I carry so much tension in my hands, which I guess makes sense: I type all day long for work, I fold laundry, I clean, I make meals, I brush my kids’ hair, I white-knuckle through rush-hour traffic. My hands do a lot of heavy lifting, literally and figuratively. So, this hand massager has become one of my all-time favorite little self-care moments. It combines heat, vibration, compression, and red light, plus a finger-stretching mode that feels like someone is gently pulling the tension out one knuckle at a time. It’s cordless, so I slide my hand in at night when I’m watching my trashy TV shows after the kids have gone to bed. Pure bliss. — Julie Sprankles, Deputy Editor, Lifestyle & Entertainment

G2 Boost Pilot Pens

G2 Boost Pilot Pens

Amazon -

I am a journaling mom — and even when I'm not journaling, I love a good pen. A few years ago, I tried every gel pen on the market to find my favorite, and it's Pilot's G2. And now they have a new line of "Boost" pens in a rainbow of shades that reflect your mood. Want to feel optimistic? You can use their package of pink shades. I put them allll on my wish list. — Sarah Aswell, Deputy Editor, News & Social

Peepers Reading Glasses

Peepers Reading Glasses

Amazon -

Hi, my name is Kate and, at the age of 44, I bought myself my first pair of readers. For the past like six months, I've noticed that my eyesight has gotten worse, especially when it comes to instructions and other fine print. So I finally gave in and bought myself a pair of Peepers and OMG I'm so glad I did. I still wear my contacts for distance, but now I can see my books, my kids' toys instructions, everything so. much. better. I hopefully have a little bit before you can find several pairs strewn about my house, my purse, and my car, but these glasses are cute and fairly affordable, so I'm not complaining if and when it happens. — Kate Auletta, Editor in Chief

Explicit Essentials Best Selling Lotion Gift Set

Explicit Essentials Bestselling Lotion Gift Set

Explicit Essentials -

I spend so much time in the car driving my kids around, and I feel like my hands are ALWAYS dry. You will not catch me without a lotion. This brand, Explicit Essentials, is so on-brand for me! It basically says what I’m feeling: Fresh Outta Fucks (tropical), Bad Ass Bitch (raspberry), and Bitch Relax (lavender). They smell sooo good and feel great going on. I cannot wait to give this set to all my girlfriends for Christmas! — Julie Sprankles

Lindsey Leigh Jewelry Cleaner Trio

Lindsey Leigh Jewelry Cleaner

Lindsey Leigh Jewelry -

Back-to-school season is my annual reminder that my jewelry has been through an entire summer of sunscreen, sweat, and pool water and desperately needs attention. The Lindsey Leigh Jewelry Cleaner Trio is the easiest way to get everything sparkling again before the new year starts. The trio covers all your bases with a cleaner for fine jewelry, one for fashion jewelry, and a polishing cloth that makes everything look brand new in about two minutes flat. It's the kind of low-effort, high-reward refresh that makes you feel like you have your life together heading into fall — and that is exactly the energy back to school requires. — Katie Garrity

Bogg Bag NYC-Themed Collection

Bogg Bag NYC-Themed Collection

Bogg -

Bogg Bags are already one of my mom life MVPs because they hold all the shit I lug from practice to pickup to wherever my kids need me next, and they wipe clean when someone (ahem, my 13-year-old) inevitably spills something on or in them. When they dropped their first NYC Collection, I had to grab it for fall. It just makes me feel swoony about this season, like Kathleen Kelly in You’ve Got Mail reading Joe Fox’s letter about sending her a bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils. Like, look how cute the charms are. A hot dog? A bodega? A Have A Nice Day bag?! Come on. — Julie Sprankles

Dreame Matrix10 Pro Robot Vacuum

Dreame Matrix10 Pro Robot Vacuum

Dreame -

This time of year is exactly when this robot vacuum earns its keep the most — between the backpacks hitting the floor, the snack crumbs, and the general chaos of getting everyone back into a routine, the floors in our house take a beating and the Dreame Matrix10 Pro handles all of it without me lifting a finger. The Matrix mapping technology means it actually learns your floor plan and cleans methodically rather than randomly bouncing around, the suction power is genuinely impressive on both carpet and hard floors, and I can set a schedule so it runs while we are at school and work and we come home to clean floors every single day. — Katie Garrity

Carve Designs Fairbanks Supersoft Shirt

Carve Designs Fairbanks Supersoft Shirt

Carve Designs -

Fall requires a perfect warmer layer that you can live in, and this year for me, it is this. It's an oversized, extremely soft button-down that drapes so well and goes with everything. I can wear it on its own or layer the heck out of it. — Sarah Aswell

The Mahjong House Blue & White House Tiles

The Mahjong House Blue & White House Tiles

The Mahjong House -

Mahjong has become one of my absolute favorite ways to spend a fall evening. It's seriously so fun, strategic, and the perfect excuse to gather a few friends around a table with snacks and drinks when the weather starts turning and nobody wants to be outside anymore. This Mahjong House set is stunning, with deep navy tiles and gold detailing that look beautiful displayed on a shelf even when you are not playing, and the quality is impressive enough that it feels like an heirloom rather than a game. If you have been curious about mahjong and looking for a reason to learn, this is the set that makes you want to figure it out immediately! — Katie Garrity

Wyze Lock Bolt v2

Wyze Lock Bolt v2

Wyze -

Ask me how many times my teens locked themselves out of the house before we got this Wyze Lock Bolt! It’s so simple and smart: fingerprint in, door opens, and it locks itself behind you. I can set up to 50 codes for family and friends, plus one-time guest codes that expire on their own (no more hiding a key under the planter for the dog sitter). I really appreciate that I can check or control it from anywhere over Wi-Fi, and that there’s still a backup key and a USB-C emergency port if the batteries die. As a mom of teens who are constantly coming and going, this just makes life a little easier, and I’m 100% here for that. — Julie Sprankles

Laurel Denise Planner

Laurel Denise Planner

Laurel Denise -

The fall reset energy this planner brings is genuinely unmatched; there is something about cracking open a brand new Laurel Denise at the start of a new season that makes you feel like you actually have your life together, even when you absolutely do not. The layouts are thoughtful and beautiful without being overwhelming, the paper quality is thick enough that pens glide without bleeding, and the whole design makes sitting down to plan feel like something you want to do rather than something you keep avoiding. If you have been meaning to get more organized as we head into fall, this is the planner that will actually make it happen. — Katie Garrity

HOTO AutoCare Air Duster and Vacuum

HOTO AutoCare Air Duster and Vacuum

Hoto -

The state of my car after a summer of beach trips and road trips and drive-thru dinners and shuttling teens to the mall is between me and God. And while I would not have cared in my youth what that state was, midlife me needs to keep some semblance of order or it gives me anxiety. This little handheld helpfully vacuums up fossilized crackers and stray French fries, then flips to an air duster to blast crumbs out of the crevices I can’t reach. It weighs less than a pound and is compact enough to chill in my backseat organizer, so I just pull it out and do a quick pass when I need to make my passenger seats fit for adults again. — Julie Sprankles

Delara 100% Organic Cotton Bath Towels

Delara 100% Organic Cotton Bath Towels

Delara -

Swapping out my bathroom for fall felt complete the second these went in my linen closet. The weight of the towels is that perfect balance of plush and absorbent without being so thick that they take forever to dry, and the quality is genuinely impressive for a brand that is not charging you a ridiculous amount for the privilege of a good towel. There is something about fresh, beautiful bath towels that makes the whole bathroom feel like a reset, and these deliver that feeling every single time you step out of the shower. The fall home refresh that costs less than you think and makes more of a difference than you expect! — Katie Garrity

NETGEAR Orbi 770

NETGEAR Orbi 770 Series 2-Pack

NETGEAR -

Between my work Zooms and the kids’ school laptops and our Kindles and whatever everyone’s streaming, this time of year always wreaks havoc on our Wi-Fi. This NETGEAR system has seriously bolstered our coverage. In fact, we recently moved our oldest teen into a bedroom on the other side of the house that was a total dead zone. Thanks to the satellite, they now get the same coverage as the rest of us. The fact that setup is super easy (I did it myself!) and it works with any internet service provider is icing on the cake. — Julie Sprankles

Coach Women’s Hc6259u Universal Fit Square Prescription Eyewear Frames

Coach Women’s Hc6259u Universal Fit Square Prescription Eyewear Frames

Amazon -

These frames are honestly one of my favorite accessories I've bought in a long time. These Coach glasses have that perfect combination of classic and modern, with a sleek silhouette that works on basically every face shape and elevates any outfit without trying too hard. The universal fit design means they sit comfortably without sliding or pinching, and the build quality feels exactly like what you'd expect from Coach: solid, polished, and made to last. If you've been putting off investing in a great pair of frames, these are the ones worth doing it for. — Katie Garrity

Chefman Warming Tray

Chefman Warming Tray

Chefman -

Fall is my favorite hosting season! This set has two slim glass trays with three heat settings, so food stays warm while I enjoy everyone’s company. On regular weeknights, they’re just as helpful because we’re at that stage where everyone sort of comes to the dinner table at staggered times. One teen needs to decompress after school and before band, the other “isn’t hungry yet,” and I’m usually running around trying to get 12 other things done. These keep dinner warm without us having to rely on microwave roulette. — Julie Sprankles

The Deebo® Otoscope

The Deebo® Otoscope

Deebo -

This otoscope has paid for itself approximately 47 times over in avoided urgent care copays. The second my daughter starts pulling at her ear or saying her ear hurts, I can check what is actually going on in there rather than spending three hours in a waiting room to be told it is fine or to get a prescription I could have called in days earlier. The Deebo Care otoscope is designed specifically for parents with an easy-to-use design, a bright LED light, and a clear viewing window that actually lets you see what you are looking at, and the adorable pattern makes it feel a lot less clinical and a lot more approachable. Fall cold and ear infection season is coming, and this is the one thing every mom needs in her medicine cabinet before it does. — Katie Garrity

Baloo Living Weighted Lap Blanket

Baloo Living Daydreamer Weighted Lap Blanket

Baloo -

I love my full-size weighted blanket, but it is way too heavy to lug from room to room or take in the car with me. Enter: this Baloo weighted lap blanket. I use it at my desk, on the couch when I need every bit of calming help while helping kids with homework, I even took it on my latest road trip because I knew I’d have trouble sleeping in a hotel bed. I get the grounding benefits of the gentle weight in a size that’s small enough to toss in a tote during this super busy season. — Julie Sprankles

OluKai Makiki Trail Runners

OluKai Makiki Trail Runners

OluKai -

I have been obsessed with my OluKai beach sandals for a few years now, so why not try some of their other footwear for fall? I was not disappointed at all. All of their shoes somehow have the most comfortable footbeds, and I could walk on these all day without breaking them in. They're also light and very cute! — Sarah Aswell

Adoorn Package Delivery Box

Adoorn Package Delivery Box

Adoorn -

Between school supplies, seasonal decor, and holiday gifts, I order a truly unhinged number of packages between now and December. I’m rarely home when they’re delivered, and very annoyingly (aka infuriatingly), we’ve been hit by porch pirates a few times lately. So, before the real holiday-shopping rush, I plopped this guy on our porch. Delivery drivers can just drop my packages in the top, where they stay until I open it with the key. Everything stays dry, too! I will say that I got the black version and I don’t know that drivers were reading the tone-on-tone “Packages” on the front, so we just got a friend to whip up a vinyl sticker that says “place packages here.” — Julie Sprankles

La Lune Stardust Charm Necklace

La Lune Stardust Charm Necklace

La Lune -

Is there something about fall that says, "Buy yourself a slightly witchy charm necklace?" I think there is! I love that this set has charms that are super easy to add and remove, so I can either pick out one or two to showcase or wear them all at once. This would also make a really good holiday gift. — Sarah Aswell

Grüns Superfood Gummies

Grüns Superfood Gummies

Grüns -

What can I say? I’m a Grüns girlie. Because while I can tell you every morsel of food everyone in my house eats on any given day, I sometimes can’t remember the last time a morsel of food crossed my lips. When I’m so busy that I literally forget to eat (I know, NOT GOOD, I’m working on it), I feel better at least knowing that these gummies give me 21 vitamins and minerals plus 6 grams of fiber. I like the regular flavor but always love the special flavors, like this month’s limited-edition Shrek collab. — Julie Sprankles

Planet Box To-Go Salad Kit

Planet Box To-Go Salad Kit

PlanetBox -

If my kids get a PlanetBox, so do I! I love that this salad kit has room for dressing as well as three separate places for dry toppings. No more soggy croutons for me this fall, and I swear this fun container makes it way less likely I eat out for lunch. — Sarah Aswell

Grace & Stella Brightening Eye Patches For Dark Circles

Grace & Stella Brightening Eye Patches For Dark Circles (24 Pack)

Amazon -

I have been dragging ass since the school year started, and my under-eye bags tell the tale. I’ve noticed that just popping these on in the morning and leaving them on for 15 minutes makes a big difference. Thanks to brightening Vitamin C and hydrating hyaluronic acid, I actually look like I got a decent night’s sleep... even when I most definitely did not. Plus, they just feel good! — Julie Sprankles

Gramms Protein

Gramms Protein

Gramms -

Look, I'm in my mid-40s and, probably like you, I've been beaten over the head with ads for protein. I don't love shakes, but I do love water, especially flavored water, so I figured I'd give these a whirl. And they are delicious. You have to really shake them up into your water, but they taste great and fresh, come individually packaged, which is great for travel, and just generally make me feel like I'm doing something good for myself? — Kate Auletta

Three Peaks Organic Manuka Honey

Three Peaks Organic Manuka Honey

Three Peaks -

Fall for me means a return to hot tea. A few years ago, I got really into loose-leaf tea, and it made my mornings so much more fun. This year, I'm getting into fancy honeys, and I dare you to stop me! This one is life-changing. It's from New Zealand and has immunity-boosting properties. — Sarah Aswell

Whole Malk

Whole Malk

Instacart -

Everything I read says I need to get more protein, but like... damn, how?! I’ve been struggling to squeeze more in, so I was excited to find Whole MALK. I get 12 grams of plant protein plus vitamins and minerals in something I can just pour into my coffee or use when I make a smoothie. Minimal effort, and bonus points for a short and simple ingredient list. — Julie Sprankles

Pacer Mini Walking Compact Treadmill

Pacer Mini Walking Compact Treadmill

Lifepro -

I live in Montana, where it can be too cold and icy to motivate yourself to walk outside in the winter months. This fall, I'm getting ahead of it by finally purchasing a mini treadmill to keep up my steps during the dark days. This one is so compact and has an incline option. It also has a handlebar that you can either raise or not, depending if you're trying to walk while working. — Sarah Aswell

Ninja HydraSense

Ninja HydraSense

Shark | Ninja -

I spend a wild amount of time and energy making sure my kids drink enough water for a woman who sometimes forgets to hydrate at all. With fall school season being so busy and unpredictable, I needed something that would make it really easy for all of us to get our water in. The Ninja HydraSense now sits on my counter, where, with the touch of a button, it filters out 80+ contaminants and helps me track how much I’m actually drinking (the latter of which is both helpful and humbling). I also love that the 120-gallon filter means I don’t have to swap it out every five minutes. — Julie Sprankles

I’m going to level with you: My hair is greying and therefore coarse, prone to breakage, and overall kind of a pain in the butt. I do a lot to maintain my hair, which has gone through a metamorphosis in the past six or seven years. And one product I use pretty much every day — or rather, as a mom of two who works from home most days, on the days I need to look presentable — is Dae’s Cactus Fruit 3-in-1 Styling Cream + Taming Wand.

Like I said, my hair is giving “is it a baby hair or is postpartum hair loss (it has been 10 years since I last gave birth) still doing its thing?” The hairs framing my face and at my part line in particular are a nuisance. They love to stick up every which way, and in the past, no amount of hair spray or heat styling could keep them laid down throughout the day. Until now.

This stuff just works. It’s not too heavy, but heavy enough to stay, and bonus, it smells pretty good (it comes in three scents; I have the original citrus one in the pink tube). So if your hair is prone to static, frizz, or generally standing on end, especially as the seasons change, look no further.

Cactus Fruit 3-in-1 Styling Cream + Taming Wand

dae -

Stats

• Price: $20.00
• Sizes: 20 mL, or all three scents are available in 10 mL in a gift set
• Who it’s for: Anyone whose hair needs to be tamed, pre- or post-blow drying or even air drying.

The Ingredients

As a brand, dae is Leaping Bunny-certified, which means that their products — and their supply chain — are free of animal testing. The entire line is vegan and certified cruelty-free. And, bonus, I don’t use sulfates in my hair, and this product is sulfate-free.

The hero ingredient is dragon fruit, which is rich in antioxidants and known to lock in moisture. The formula also includes a blend of cactus flower extract, prickly pear seed oil, and moringa seed oil to nourish the hair while also reminding it of its place.

The product comes in three scents: Signature Citrus (what I have), and two limited-edition fragrances: Vanilla Dae Beam and Desert Peach.

The Packaging

While the styling cream itself works well, it’s the packaging that really sets this product apart.

You can purchase dae’s Cactus Fruit Styling Cream in a tube, sure. But instead of coming in a tube, pot, or bottle and applying the product with your hands, here it’s packaged in a tube that comes with what looks like an oversized mascara wand with longer, more flexible bristles. You can lightly apply the styling cream with the brush to tame flyaways, or use more pressure and deposit more product for slicked back styles or shaping your edges.

How I Use The Dae Cactus Fruit 3-in-1 Styling Cream + Taming Wand

On days that I blow dry my hair, I use a firmer hand with the wand to press the newly created flyaways onto my head once I’m finished. And on the days when I’m working from home — and therefore care a little less — I’ll do a quick pass to catch any errant hairs and get them to stay down. I tend to carry this in my purse throughout the day, storing along with hand sanitizer and hand cream, and use it as needed towards the end of the day if I’m going out post-work.

While doing this piece, I learned that you can also use this product pre-blow dry on your flyaways or ends; until now, I’ve only used it as a finisher when I’m ready to put my shoes on and get out the door.

The Results

This product packs a punch. I have sensitive hair (if that’s a thing) and it’s prone to getting oily or matted down by products. But not this one. It holds well and has a lovely smell to it that doesn’t compete with my shampoo.

What I love about this stuff is that it goes on fairly smoothly. Sure there are occasional white clumps of product, but you can brush them out or grab them with your fingers. I’ll be honest: I touch my hair a lot. I’m just one of those people. But this stuff will hold pretty well, especially for my pesky forehead-facing baby hairs (thanks pregnancies!). And, best of all, it leaves behind no residue and makes no discernible difference, as in being shiny or matte, to the appearance of my hair.

Pros & Cons

Pros:

• I love the wispiness of the brush; it makes applying the product so easy.
• I like that it’s small enough that you can throw it in your bag to reapply later in the day if you have evening plans.
• It’s not greasy nor does it bog hair down or make it crunchy.
• A little goes a long way.
• The brand is Leaping Bunny-certified, cruelty-free, and vegan.

Cons:

• If you put it on in the morning, you will need to reapply if you have nighttime plans.
• The product can gloop up just like a mascara, but if you move the wand around it resolves itself.

Final Verdict

This styling wand makes my not-often-washed hair look so much better in a matter of seconds, and makes for a great finishing touch when I’m heading out for the rare day at the office.

The TL;DR

Add this to your to-go makeup pouch, or leave it at home. Either way, you’ll use it ‘til the last drop.

Had To Share highlights the products and finds that Scary Mommy editors and contributors love so much, we just had to share in the group chat.

When people say, "Boys don't read", my face turns fire-engine red and steam blows out of my ears like Wile E. Coyote. It makes me furious because it’s not true.

I started reading when I was four, and by the time I was six, I was a voracious reader. My parents weren’t around often (and when they were, they weren’t present) so I was raised by Dr. Seuss, Louis Sachar, Lois Lowry, C.S. Lewis, Franklin W. Dixon, Madeleine L'Engle and R.L. Stine. I spent lifetimes in the library, devouring one book after another, unable to stop turning the pages. And as my homelife got worse, I retreated further and more frequently into stories. Though society frowned on comic books while I was growing up, Chris Claremont’s X-Men run got me through some really rough times.

And guess what? I’m a boy.

Okay, I’m not a “boy” anymore; I’m a grown man. But I love books so much, I made it my life’s work to become a writer. It took longer than was ideal, so I ended up working in comics as well as traditional publishing as an editor for 15years. Eventually, I got my first book deal. Now, each morning I wake, walk my dog, and start creating. I write 40 to 60 hours a week (when I’m not touring) and earn a living by crafting stories for young readers.

I love what I do. I’m proud of it. If it comes up at dinner parties, I don’t shy away from questions… until I hear, “You write books for boys? But they don’t read anymore, do they?” Again, my ears steam like train whistles and a cartoon devil and angel pop up on my shoulders, whispering suggestions about how I should (or shouldn’t) drop an Acme anvil on someone’s head.

It’s a popular misconception that boys (as well as male teens and young men) do not read. They do read — not as much as girls, but they do read — when they are offered books that resonate with them.

Part of my life as an author for young readers is doing school visits. In the past month alone, I’ve presented my story and love of reading to over ten thousand students. And when I put up slides showing Dog Man, One Piece, or The Academy series, everyone roars with pure excitement—including the boys who make up half of my audience.

Between presentations and signings, I always speak with the teachers, librarians, and other educators. Whether in California, North Carolina, or Texas, they all say the same thing: “We need more books for boys, but we need to give them what they want to read. We need to meet boys where they’re at.”

As a former editor and a current writer, I believe four things are preventing boys from reading as much as their female equivalents:

#1 – There are more distractions for children than ever before;

#2 – Technology and social media have shrunk youth’s attention spans;

#3 – There are less males (than females) in the young readers book world, and;

#4 – Toxic masculinity continually pushes boys away from the “girly” activity of reading, and discourages boys from reading stories with female protagonists.

These are big obstacles to overcome, but they’re not impossible if parents, educators, and publishers work together.

Every parent I know says their kids’ schedules are insane. There is a societal pressure on parents to cultivate children who make good grades, excel at sports, build their extracurricular resumes, and never have a moment to themselves to say they’re bored. Not only are the parents swamped, but so is the child if they don’t have time built into their day to relax and read — two things which often go hand in hand.

Instead, children use their idle time to cruise Youtube to watch what their friends are watching online. Instead of reading, they lose themselves in music videos, sports clips, gaming reviews, movie previews, tradwife propaganda, and of course, ad after ad after ad. This barrage of fast and short media diminished the attention span. So when they see a 250-page book in prose, it feels daunting and unscalable. So they don’t bother to give it a chance.

It doesn’t help that there are fewer male authors than female authors in the young readers’ sphere. Before we go there, I want to acknowledge that literature has been a male-dominated space for centuries. In the last 50 years, there’s been a wonderful shift leading to more female representation in stories. But it seems this trend overcorrected itself, leading to more books for girls and less for boys. And there are even fewer books by men of color for boys of color.

And all of this is compounded by a recent return to hegemonic masculinity and machismo. Growing up in Texas in the 80’s and 90’s, I was told often by my father and stepfather that I needed to put my books down and play sports instead — like a real man. I’m not sure why it wasn’t an option for me to do both. Worse than that was at school, when I was hassled and bullied by other boys for reading Alice in Wonderland, Anne of Green Gables, or Pride and Prejudice, because the protagonists were female.

This sort of inherent patriarchal behavior leads boys to think if they read a story about a girl, they are somehow less than their male peers. In stark contrast, girls don’t seem to mind what sex their heroes are. This leads young female readers to develop an extensive empathy for everyone, while male readers’ experiences become limited to their own. Unfortunately, it seems this hasn’t changed in the last several decades.

So what do we do for the boys and young men in our lives?

We take the advice of the librarians: We need to meet the boys where they’re at.

First: Kids have a thousand things to do. I get it. I have eight nephews and nieces and number nine on the way. But my brother and sister-in-law build in at least one half-hour every day for their boys to sit quietly and read (or be read to). They can choose to read whatever they want, but they have to read.

(An important piece of advice I can offer as a longtime reader — and this applies to everyone — is if you read the first chapter and don’t like it, move on. Don’t force youth (or yourself) to spend their time reading something that doesn’t interest them. Reading shouldn’t feel like a chore. It should feel like a welcome escape.)

Second: If boys’ attention spans are short, find them shorter books. More and more, young readers are turning to graphic novels and manga for quick reads because they can be read cover to cover in a single sitting. Kids who finish a long book for the very first time experience feelings of both pride and success. And if they loved the book, they’ll want more of the same.

(Another piece of advice: never discourage reading — even if it’s a format you don’t necessarily appreciate. Graphic novels have long been frowned upon as a less intelligent medium. But in the last decade, more and more publishers are finding creators who tell valuable stories through a more visual medium. A book is a book, no matter how many pictures it has. Try to not diminish that in a young reader.)

Third: Speak to school and/or public librarians — as well as booksellers — asking them about stories that are right for your child. Every child wants to see their own lives mirrored in a story. For a long time, diverse books did not exist. Now they do, and in great numbers. Unfortunately more books mean lower discoverability. It can feel like a Herculean task to track down the right book for a reluctant reader. So let someone else do the work. Lean on the literary curators who know the book world best.

(Being a parent is exhausting. You have a million things to do. So let someone else be the expert. Librarians and booksellers attend conferences multiple times a year where they discover new authors, learn about new titles, and even offer awards to books they feel can change a child’s life for the better.)

And finally: encourage boys to read books about males written by males. But also encourage them to try something new, such as reading a book about females written by females. So often boys can be cruel to girls, be it at home or at school. I know I was certainly a terror, but it was only because I didn’t know better — not until reading books like Are you there, God? It’s Me, Margaret. Reading “girly” books helped me to better understand my female peers. It taught me how to see them, not just as equals, but as friends and romantic partners deserving of mutual respect. I would have never learned that playing football or Nintendo. But I did learn it through reading.

If your son, nephew, grandson, whoever that boy is in your life, doesn’t want to read, then start easy. Don’t push them towards books they don’t want to read. If their interest is in sports, pick up Ghost by Jason Reynolds. If it’s gaming, check out The Comic Book Story of Video Games by Jonathan Hennessey and Jack McGowan. If it’s horror, give them Scary Stories for Young Foxes by Christian McKay Heidicker. If they like history, offer up any title in Nathan Hale’s Hazardous Tales series. If they want fantasy, perhaps Kazu Kibuishi’s Amulet series or Max Barillier’s Last Kids on Earth books are the way to go. If they just want to laugh, well, it’s hard to go wrong with Captain Underpants.

Whatever they want — or think they want — there’s a book out there for every boy. And that book could change their entire life trajectory for the better. But they need to find it first, and they need to be encouraged.

Boys do want to read. Sometimes they just need a little help finding the right book. So let’s help them out.

REX OGLE is the award-winning author of over a hundred books, comics, graphic novels, and memoirs—most notably Free Lunch (winner of ALA/YALSA’s award for Excellence in Non-Fiction), Scholastic’s indie bestselling Four Eyes series, and his latest book, Absent, about three boys living under the poverty line missing school who end up in detention together and learn from one another how to navigate their difficult life circumstances.

Hit him up on Instagram @thirdrex, find out more about him at www.rexogle.com, or subscribe to his newsletter for free books and lots of fun at https://substack.com/@thirdrex .

If you think about it, lots of popular baby names today are actually just words or names of other things — think River, Maverick, and Sage. Nature names, flower names, and virtue names are all super trendy right now, but they all fall under one larger category: word names for babies. And while all of the earthy names and animal-inspired monikers are beautiful, if you look outside those common categories, you’ll find even more unique and meaningful word names for babies that will have people saying, “Oh, what a beautiful name,” your baby’s whole life through.

When this video from Jessie, aka @dreambabynames on TikTok, came across my FYP, I was floored when I started thinking about how many names on the U.S. popularity charts right now count as word names. She shared her favorite word names for babies, and got me thinking about how many gorgeous options there really are out there.

With that in mind, here are some word names for babies that honestly deserve more attention.

Court

In a world where Banks, Gates, Hayes, and other one-syllable, old-money names are high up on the popularity charts, I feel like we’re all overlooking Court. Whether it’s a royal court or court of law, the name carries a sense of reverence and authority as a result.

Lane

Gender-neutral name lovers, don’t miss out on Lane. It brings to mind a sense of idyllic nature scenes, since the word is typically used to describe narrow roads in the countryside. It’s a peaceful, solid name that’s less in-your-face about its ties to nature than, say, Ocean or Ivy.

Lucky

You could sit down with a dictionary and make a giant list of adjectives you hope are true of your baby, and see if any strike you as good name options. And who doesn’t want their baby to be lucky in life? It’s a super cute and spunky example, and it would work well for parents who are interested in western-inspired cowboy names.

Sonnet

A sonnet is a poem written in 14 lines, and as Jessie points out in her video, it’s wearable because it’s not a word most of us ever use in daily life. I’ve met one person in passing named Sonnet, and hearing her name stopped me in my tracks. It’s a word we all know, but as a name, it instantly made her seem so much cooler and more creative. It’s just a beautiful choice.

More Word Names For Babies

• Amity: This word means “goodwill.” It’s a short and sweet word name that would suit a baby girl.
• Blithe: This adjective can mean happy or joyous, but also refers to a sort of casual indifference that’s considered rude. And something about that makes me love it as a feminist name for a little girl who you’re raising to believe respect is earned rather than automatically doled out.
• Cadence: For music lovers, Cadence is probably already on your radar. It refers to a sequence of notes or chords at the close of a musical phrase.
• Chance: Much like Lucky, this feels like a name that’ll make a comeback in the next few years as parents keep opting for Western-sounding names.
• Constance: This is a classic name that happens to be a word name, so your older family members won’t think you’ve lost your mind. Constance is a synonym for steadfastness, giving your baby girl a sense of reliability and strength.
• Cove: Safe-haven baby names, a term coined by Nameberry, are having a moment right now. Cove is a perfect example, conjuring images of a quiet body of water tucked away from crashing waves.
• Dean: Dean is a classic name with multiple meanings you might connect with — “valley,” “justice,” or “leader.”
• Fable: If you live for whimsy, please name your baby girl Fable. It rolls off the tongue, evokes all the fairy tales we know and love, and is just so criminally underused.
• Felicity: This cheerful girls’ name means “happiness” or “good fortune,” two things you hope your baby finds in abundance.
• Fawn: Fawn is a nature name that does not get enough love in my opinion. It’s so soft and beautiful, but not as overtly feminine as a flower- or bird-inspired name.
• Gale: The word gale refers to either a strong wind or a burst of laughter, but either way, it’s perfect for your little force of nature.
• Grant: To agree or admit that someone is correct is to grant them something. It’s the opposite of the edgy boy names trending in the U.S. right now, like Maverick or Ryder — an agreeable boy name that feels like he’ll be a friend to all.
• Indigo: If you like word names for babies, you’ll probably consider a lot of color names, from the more common, like Violet and Scarlet, to the uncommon, like Cyan and Tawny. Indigo is a very cool option with the adorable nickname of Indi built in.
• Jet: A plane, a rocket, or to get from point A to point B super quickly — Jet is a spunky name for a kid you know will never want to hold still.
• Justice: Much like Charity or Grace, virtue names also double as word names. Justice is a modern-feeling option that works well for boys (most classic virtue names are traditionally used for girls).
• Keen: Keen means intellectually alert and perceptive. I have met someone whose middle name was Keen, and the uniqueness of it still sticks with me.
• Lark: Bird names are a great place to pull from if you like word names. Think Dove, Raven, Hawk, and so many more. A lark is a little brown songbird, but as a noun, it can also refer to an innocent but mischievous escapade.
• Lyric: Like a line in a song, yes!
• Major: Whether inspired by the title or the meaning (this kid’s gonna be a big deal), Major is a modern and fun word name for babies.
• Maven: This word refers to a woman who’s an expert in her field or interest, usually a fashion maven. It’s similar to Maren or Mavis, if you’re fans of those names too.
• Maverick: A maverick is an independent individual who doesn’t just go with the popular opinion or follow the herd.
• Merit: This is a gender-neutral pick, but I especially love Merit for a girl. Of course, to merit something means you have earned or deserve it. You could also spell this one as Merritt, a la actress Merritt Wever.
• Noble: The dictionary defines noble as “possessing, characterized by, arising from, or indicating superiority of mind or character.” And aren’t we all just trying to raise the best little humans we can?
• Pace: Yes, this brings Lee Pace to mind, but hear me out. I think it’s a solid one-syllable name that could be meaningful if you want your child to always take things one step at a time. It’s reminiscent of Paige, but more unisex.
• Ray: Like a ray of light, of course. The feminine form is often spelled Rae, but I’m an advocate for sticking with the -y ending always.
• Sable: Another color name, sable is another adjective to describe something black. It’s also the name of a small, ferret-like animal with dark fur. I love this choice for parents who lean a little alt or goth and want a name in that vein without sounding like an Addams Family member.
• Saga: A saga is a long and complex story, specifically one recorded in Iceland in the 12th and 13th centuries. It feels like a literature lover’s baby name that hints at a full and storied life for your baby.
• Savvy: You call someone savvy when they’re knowledgeable and make good calls, and it has a sense of being earned. You could opt for a known name like Savannah and just choose to call her Savvy, but parents who want something truly unique might like Savvy as a standalone.
• Story: We all know what a story is, and similar to the name Sonnet, it evokes a sense of whimsy and fantasy. It’s a definite heart-stealer if you love books and literature.
• Temple: Another safe haven name, temples are austere and sacred places, and as a name, it evokes a similar sense of peace and reverence.
• Vale: A vale is like a valley, a long, deep depression in the land that sometimes contains a river or stream.
• Wolf: A short, strong boys’ name, inspired by the intelligent canine hunters themselves.
• Zenith: In astronomy, the zenith is a celestial object’s highest point in the sky. It’s also used to describe when something is at its most successful (as in, “she was at the zenith of her career”).

Do any of these word names for babies strike your fancy? I’m pretty obsessed with Sonnet and Court, personally.

When I was choosing a name for my son, I was careful to think about all the possible nicknames he could be called (as in shortened versions of his name, and what playground bullies might transmute an otherwise normal name into). If I preferred the long version of the name but didn’t like the nickname, I nixed it from the list, knowing I could never really control what he became known as. If you also love long names but know your little one will likely get nicknamed in school, consider these long baby names with great shortened versions. They’re still unique and a little offbeat, but much easier to shout across a crowded playground.

Augustus

Auggie or Gus — whichever nickname you choose for Augustus, it’ll make everyone want to squeeze your sweet baby. This name means “magnificent” or “venerable,” but thanks to Lonesome Dove’s Augustus McCrae, this name will always have cowboy vibes to me.

Evangeline

Evangeline is a Greek name meaning “good news,” and it just rolls off the tongue so beautifully. But if this name is a little much to holler across the house when telling your kid to clean their room for the 800th time, Evie or Eva will do.

Ezekiel

Sorry, but having Zeke as a nickname is the No. 1 reason I would consider naming my child Ezekiel. It’s just so cool and effortless! Ezekiel also means “strength of God” and is the name of an important prophet in the Bible, so parents who prioritize their faith will be even more drawn to this pick.

Wilhelmina

Wilhelmina is a gorgeous girls’ name meaning “resolute protector,” which is such a strong meaning tucked inside a very feminine-sounding name. As far as nicknames go, you could choose the beautiful Mina, the soft Willa, or the more unisex Willie.

More Long Baby Names With Great Nicknames

• Abraham / Abe or Bram
• Alessandro / Ale, Alex, or Sandro
• Beauregard / Beau
• Benedict / Ben or Bennie
• Bernadette / Bernie
• Calliope / Callie or Clio
• Charlotte / Charlie or Lottie
• Clementine / Clem
• Constantine / Costas
• Emmanuel / Manny
• Felicity / Fliss
• Finnegan / Finn
• Genevieve / Gen or Ginnie
• Hawthorne / Thorne, Hal, or Hank
• Henrietta / Hattie or Etta
• Isabella / Izzie, Bella, or Belle
• Josephine / Josie
• Leonidas / Leo
• Lillianna / Lily
• Lorenzo / Enzo
• Magdalena / Maggie, Magda, or Lena
• Marceline / Marcy
• Maximillian / Max
• Millicent / Millie
• Montgomery / Monty
• Nathaniel / Nat or Nate
• Penelope / Penny
• Rosamund / Rose
• Salvatore / Sal
• Santiago / Santi
• Sebastian / Sebby or Bash
• Seraphina / Sera or Fifi
• Shaughnessy / Shaun or Nessy
• Sylvester / Sly
• Valentine / Val
• Zachariah / Zach

Do any of these dynamic name duos do it for you?

There are two kinds of fans when it comes to The Pitt: people who are obsessed with Dr. Jack Abbot… and liars. Ever since the night-shift attending strolled into Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center with his go-bag and thousand-yard stare, Shawn Hatosy has had our undivided attention. Season 2 gave us even more of him (plus an episode he directed), and he picked up another Emmy nom to go with the Emmy he already won for Season 1. All of that is well and good. What’s not? The fact that we have to wait until January 2027 for Season 3 to hit HBO Max.

That’s a long time to go without our guy.

Happily, though, Hatosy has been out here doing excellent work for decades, meaning there’s a deep bench of Shawn Hatosy movies and TV shows to carry us through to his next night shift. Cop Hatosy. Floppy-haired-’90s-boyfriend Hatosy. Even a serial killer. We sorted his best work by what kind of mood you’re in, so you can hop around to find whatever Hatosy you want.

Shawn Hatosy TV Shows If You Want More Dr. Abbot Energy

Something you may not know: The Pitt is actually Hatosy’s fifth project with executive producer John Wells, making the first four about the closest you’ll get to more Abbot. Who’s ready for some super competent but also slightly haunted men?

Southland (2009-2013)

Let’s start here. Hatosy plays Sammy Bryant, an LAPD detective turned patrol officer: funny, loyal, grieving, wound extremely tight. Sort of Abbot with a badge. And as a huge bonus, the rest of the cast is just as killer, including Regina King, Ben McKenzie, and Michael Cudlitz.

Where to stream: Netflix, Prime Video, Roku

Animal Kingdom (2016-2022)

If you’d like to see Hatosy in an edgier role, look no further than his six-season turn as Andrew “Pope” Cody, the oldest and most dangerous son in a Southern California crime family run by Ellen Barkin’s Janine “Smurf” Cody. Hatosy toes the line here between terrifying and heartbreaking, keeping you rapt every time he enters a scene. Much like Dr. Abbot.

Where to stream: Netflix, Prime Video

Rescue: HI-Surf (2024-2025)

OK, so this one didn’t last long, but it’s a fun little sidequest. Hatosy recurs as Clayton Emerson, a politician tangled up with the lifeguards of O’ahu’s North Shore. I mean, Hatosy in Hawaii? Why the hell not?!

Where to stream: Hulu

ER (2006)

Yep, we’re going back to the early aughts, when Dr. Abbot wasn’t a doctor; he was a patient at County General. You’ll need to cue up the Season 13 episode “Jigsaw,” in which Hatosy guest stars as a man with dissociative identity disorder. It’s the first time he worked with Wells, who directed the episode, and wowza is it a swing-for-the-fences hour. Hatosy later revealed that he sent Wells a thank-you note afterward.

Where to stream: HBO Max, Hulu, Disney+, Roku

Shawn Hatosy Movies From His ‘90s Heartthrob Era

Paging all fellow millennials: If you were a teen anytime between 1995 and 2000, you probably had a crush on Hatosy at some point and maybe forgot. Well, allow us to reintroduce you.

The Faculty (1998)

But for real, we all remember this one, right? Hatosy plays Stan, the star quarterback who secretly wants to quit football to focus on his grades. Only, oops, things go a little off the tracks when aliens start body-snatching the teachers at his school. Did we mention it also stars Josh Hartnett, Elijah Wood, Jordana Brewster, and Clea DuVall? Just a perfect fall rewatch.

Where to stream: Paramount+, Hulu, Tubi, Roku, Pluto TV

Outside Providence (1999)

In Hatosy’s first lead, he plays Tim Dunphy, a working-class Rhode Island kid shipped off to a fancy prep school in 1974 after one screw-up too many. This coming-of-age comedy was written by the Farrelly brothers, featured Amy Smart as “the girl,” came with an awesome rock soundtrack, and gave us peak floppy hair. What’s not to love?

Where to stream: Pluto TV

In & Out (1997)

Before landing his lead role in Outside Providence, Hatosy gave a memorable performance in In & Out. Here, he plays Jack: a high school student reeling (then rallying) after his beloved teacher (played by Kevin Kline) is outed on national television. Though a supporting player, Hatosy shows the sharp comedic timing he’d soon become known for, delivering some really standout dialogue early on and sharing the spotlight during the film’s unforgettable graduation.

Where to stream: Available to rent or buy on Prime Video and Apple TV

Anywhere But Here (1999)

OK, so Hatosy’s definitely a minor character in this one. However, it’s worth watching to catch a glimpse of him as Benny, the sweet Wisconsin cousin and best friend Natalie Portman’s character has to leave behind when her flaky mom, played by Susan Sarandon, drags her to Beverly Hills.

Where to stream: Available to rent or buy on Prime Video and Apple TV

Down to You (2000)

Again, Hatosy slides nicely into a supporting role here as the goofy best friend in this college rom-com starring Freddie Prinze Jr. and Julia Stiles. Is it any good? Well, let’s just say it is extremely Y2K, which I think we can all agree is its own kind of good.

Where to stream: Available to rent or buy on Prime Video and Apple TV

Shawn Hatosy Movies & TV Shows Where He’s Straight-Up Unhinged

Long before he brought his calming presence to the Pittsburgh trauma bay, Hatosy spent years as Hollywood’s go-to guy for “something is very wrong with him.” So if you like Abbot’s intensity but want to see what that looks like pushed to the brink, you're in the right place.

Ready or Not 2: Here I Come (2026)

This much-anticipated horror-comedy sequel made a smart move by casting Hatosy as Titus Danforth, part of one of the rich, ritual-obsessed families hunting Samara Weaving’s Grace this go-round. Sarah Michelle Gellar and David Cronenberg play fellow Danforths, and Elijah Wood is in the cast too (low-key Faculty reunion 28 years later). It’s an ideal spooky-season watch.

Where to stream: Hulu

Alpha Dog (2006)

Did you know this was based on a real kidnapping case? We didn’t either, until just now. Hatosy plays Elvis Schmidt, the desperate hanger-on who’ll do just about anything to get in the boss’s good graces. Fair warning: This one is a hard watch, and Hatosy’s the reason the last act lands like a f*cking blow to the gut.

Where to stream: Available to rent or buy on Prime Video and Apple TV

Dexter (2010)

Yes, as in the Michael C. Hall vigilante-serial-killer show. Hatosy shows up in Season 5 as Boyd Fowler, a roadkill-collection guy with a self-help-tape habit and some super dark hobbies. We only get him for a few episodes, but he catalyzes the entire season’s storyline.

Where to stream: Paramount+

John Q (2002)

Welp, you’re definitely not gonna like Hatosy here. In this heartbreaking movie, Denzel Washington takes an ER hostage in an effort to save his son by securing him a heart transplant. Hatosy, for his part, plays a real asshat in the waiting room. Dr. Abbot being a menace inside an emergency department? Our guy would never.

Where to stream: Hulu, Philo

Fear the Walking Dead (2015)

Another short arc, but one with a memorable exit! In this spinoff of The Walking Dead, Hatosy plays Cpl. Andrew Adams, a National Guardsman who starts Season 1 nice enough but does not stay that way.

Where to stream: AMC+, Netflix, Prime Video, Pluto TV

Chicago P.D. (2024-2025)

What’s that they say? It’s better to have loved and lost than never loved at all? Maybe the same logic applies here: It’s better to have watched and hated Shawn Hatosy than to not watch him at all. Right before he settled into The Pitt, Hatosy spent Season 12 of this popular cop show as Deputy Chief Charlie Reid, a smiling, corrupt thorn in Voight’s side.

Where to stream: Peacock

The Shawn Hatosy Deep Cuts

For when you’ve finished the hits and want to be able to say “I’ve been a fan since…”

Public Enemies (2009)

Michael Mann’s John Dillinger epic stars Johnny Depp and Christian Bale, with Hatosy as one of the federal agents on Dillinger’s trail. All you really need to hear? Hatosy in a fedora.

Where to stream: YouTube

Soldier’s Girl (2003)

Another based-on-a-true-story addition to the list, this Showtime movie follows Army Pfc. Barry Winchell, who was murdered after falling in love with trans performer Calpernia Addams (Lee Pace). Hatosy stars as Justin Fisher, the roommate whose manipulation is the driving force behind the tragedy. Devastating, but also some of his best work.

Where to stream: Prime Video, Tubi, Roku, Pluto TV

The Cooler (2003)

Hatosy’s turn in The Cooler proves you don’t need a big role to be a big sleaze. He shows up as the estranged, scheming son of William H. Macy’s professional Vegas casino bad-luck charm. Our guy is an opportunistic hustler and kind of a dick, so not a lot to like. But still, it’s him.

Where to stream: Prime Video, Tubi, Pluto TV

Factory Girl (2006)

If you caught Hatosy on The Tonight Show earlier this year, you may have wondered about the movie he and Jimmy Fallon were reminiscing over. Well, here it is! Hatosy plays Syd Pepperman, the loyal friend watching Edie Sedgwick (Sienna Miller) get swallowed up by Andy Warhol’s world. Fallon is Chuck Wein, Sedgwick’s manager and close friend.

Where to stream: Prime Video, Tubi, Fandango

Yes, Chef (2026)

This is technically brand-new, but we’re filing it under deep-cut since it isn’t actually a movie or TV show. It might even be better. Hatosy narrated a two-episode audio romance for the app Quinn, which means you can now have Dr. Abbot’s gravelly voice murmuring in your ear while you kill time in the school pickup line. We’re just passing along the information.

Where to listen: Quinn

As spooky and sugar-filled as Halloween is, it’s also a time when kids can look as silly on the outside as they feel on the inside. Has there ever been a better time to get your giddy ghouls giggling? We’re here to help you give your kids another treat in the form of laughter: Here’s a list of our favorite spooky, kid-friendly Halloween jokes full of ghosts and pumpkin puns. Rattle them off to those little candy-consuming monsters and watch them gleefully add these to their own list of jokes they tell their friends.

Mummy-approved, these clean puns and one-liners will have your little werewolves howling with laughter. Between creature jokes, vampire jokes, werewolf jokes, and Halloween knock-knock jokes, there’s plenty to keep the whole family entertained. Get cackling, witches!

Best Halloween Jokes

1. What animal dresses up and howls? A wear-wolf.
2. Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? He was outstanding in his field.
3. Why are cemeteries so popular? Everyone’s dying to get in.
4. Why was the witch’s broom late? It over-swept.
5. What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music.
6. What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? A trom-bone.
7. Why are spiders great web developers? They like finding bugs.
8. Why do vampires always seem sick? They’re always coffin.
9. How does a witch style her hair? With scare-spray.
10. What do you call two witches who live together? Broomates.
11. Why don’t vampires have a lot of friends? Because they are a pain in the neck.
12. What do birds say on Halloween? Trick or tweet.
13. What happens to a vampire in the snow? Frostbite.
14. What do you call a witch at the beach? A sand-witch.
15. How did the vampire marathon end? Neck and neck.
16. What kind of boat does a vampire travel in? A blood vessel.
17. Why don’t mummies have time for fun? They are too wrapped up in their work.
18. Where does Dracula keep his money? In a blood bank.
19. Why can’t Dracula play baseball? He lost his bat.
20. What did the skeleton buy at the grocery store? Spare ribs.
21. Where does the zombie live? On a dead-end street.
22. What is a vampire’s favorite dog? A bloodhound.
23. What’s the first thing black cats do on Halloween morning? They wake up.
24. Why don’t skeletons watch horror movies? They don’t have the guts.
25. Why did the Headless Horseman get a job? He was trying to get ahead in life.
26. What would be the national holiday for a nation of vampires? Fangs-giving!
27. What’s a zombie’s favorite cereal? Rice Creepies.
28. How can you tell a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly donuts.
29. What did one thirsty vampire say to the other as they were passing the morgue? “Let’s stop in for a cool one.”
30. What do you call a skeleton who won’t do chores? Lazy bones.
31. What’s a vampire’s least favorite food? Steak.
32. Why did the witch get kicked out of school? She couldn’t spell.
33. What do you call a ghost’s true love? Their ghoul-friend.

Halloween Riddles for Kids

1. What letter can you find in October but not in November or December? The letter T.
2. I’m orange and round, I grin without a sound. What am I? A jack-o’-lantern.
3. I’m tall when I’m young and I’m short when I’m old. What am I? A candle.
4. What has a mouth and teeth but never eats? A carved pumpkin.
5. I come out at night and hang upside down. I’m not a vampire, but I’m often around. What am I? A bat.
6. I creak and I groan, yet I have no bones. People walk all over me in a haunted home. What am I? The stairs.
7. The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I? Footsteps.
8. I have no body, no bones, no nose... but I can still give you a fright. What am I? A ghost.
9. I wear a pointy hat and fly at night, but I’m not a bat. What am I? A witch.
10. I’m worn on your face but I’m not your skin, and one night a year I let you be someone else. What am I? A mask.
11. I have eight legs and I spin all day, catching my dinner in a silky way. What am I? A spider.
12. The more of me there is, the less you can see. What am I? Darkness.
13. I follow you everywhere when the sun is out, but when night falls, I vanish without a shout. What am I? Your shadow.
14. I have eyes but cannot see, a nose but cannot smell, and a mouth but cannot speak. What am I? A jack-o’-lantern.
15. I bubble up, green and thick, add a frog and a bat and I’ll do the trick. What am I? A potion.

Halloween-Themed Knock-Knock Jokes

1. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Ice cream! Ice cream who? Ice cream, you scream, we all scream for Halloween!
2. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Ben! Ben who? Ben waiting to go out trick-or-treating all day!
3. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Phillip! Phillip who? Phillip my bag with Halloween candy, please!
4. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Bee. Bee who? Bee-ware, all the ghosts are out on Halloween!
5. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Boo! Boo who? Don’t cry! It’s only Halloween!
6. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Ice cream! Ice cream who? Ice cream every time I see a zombie!
7. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Ivan. Ivan who? Ivan to suck your blood!
8. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Witches. Witches who? Witches the way to the haunted cemetery?
9. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Diane. Diane who? Diane to eat my Halloween candy!
10. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Eddie. Eddie who? Eddie body get dressed, it’s time to go trick-or-treating!
11. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Frank! Frank who? Frankenstein!
12. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Voodoo. Voodoo who? Voodoo you think you are?
13. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ghost. Ghost who? Ghost stand over there and I’ll bring you some candy!
14. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Wanda. Wanda who? Wanda go trick-or-treating with me?
15. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Fang. Fang who? Fang you very much for the candy!
16. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Howl. Howl who? Howl you know it’s Halloween without a calendar?
17. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I wore a costume?
18. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ghouls. Ghouls who? Ghouls just wanna have fun!
19. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Mummy. Mummy who? Mummy said I could have one more piece of candy!
20. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut open the door; there’s a monster out there!
21. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of you ate all my candy corn?
22. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Howie. Howie who? Howie gonna carry all this candy home?
23. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Pumpkin. Pumpkin who? Pumpkin up the volume, it’s a Halloween party!

Jokes About Ghosts & Pumpkins & Monsters, Oh My!

1. What do you call an athletic pumpkin? A jock o’ lantern.
2. Why do pumpkins do so badly in school? Because they had their brains scooped out.
3. Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches? They have no hands to knock on the door.
4. What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin? “You look a little sick.”
5. What position does a ghost play in soccer? Ghoul-keeper.
6. What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
7. Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
8. Why are some ghosts so happy? Every shroud has a silver lining.
9. Why do ghosts and demons get along so well? Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
10. What do ghosts wear when their eyesight is blurry? Spooktacles.
11. How do you fix a broken jack-o’-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.
12. Where do ghosts go on holidays? The Boohamas.
13. What do you call a chunky pumpkin? A plumpkin.
14. Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Day-scare.
15. How do ghosts search the web? They use “Ghoul-gle.”
16. What goes “ha-ha-ha-ha-ha” right before a gigantic-sounding crash and then keeps laughing? A monster laughing its head off!
17. Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story? Because there are so many plots there!
18. What’s a ghost’s favorite place in the house? The scare-case.
19. Why did the jack-o’-lantern go to therapy? It had too much bottled up inside.
20. What’s the best thing to put into pumpkin pie? Your teeth.
21. What’s scarier than a monster? A momster.
22. Why are ghosts such bad liars? You can see right through them.
23. What kind of monster likes to dance? The boogeyman.
24. Where do werewolves store their junk? A were-house.
25. Where do ghosts like to go swimming? Lake Erie.
26. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? Ice scream.
27. What was the ghost’s favorite band? The Grateful Dead.
28. What does a ghost keep in his stable? Nightmares.
29. What did the werewolf eat after his teeth cleaning? The dentist.
30. What room do ghosts avoid? The living room.
31. What is a ghost’s least favorite candy? Life Savers.
32. Why was the ghost crying? He wanted his mummy.

In the past six months, I’ve gotten four new tattoos and a piercing. If you consult my Pinterest board, you’ll see I’m also contemplating getting an outline of my late dog’s head and a tiny UFO, as well as a nose stud.

Depending on how charitable you’re feeling, I’m either expressing myself or in the throes of a raging midlife crisis.

The spree began around my 40th birthday and first anniversary without alcohol, when I visited a tattoo artist named Frank — better known as the Mad Tatter — to get a delicate, fine-line snake inked on my right wrist.

I’d been through the wringer the previous year. I’d sold my PR agency, had an emotional breakdown, quit drinking, explored psychedelic healing, written my first novel, and started building a more flexible professional life. I’d successfully kept my two children alive (thriving, even) and rebooted my marriage after a rough patch. It was also the end of the Year of the Snake, a symbol of shedding, rebirth, and emerging from something changed.

Crucially, I also thought the tattoo would look pretty badass.

That combination of meaning and aesthetics is generally how my tattoo decisions work. I consider an idea, pull a few references, and sit with it briefly. Then something clicks: Yep, that’s it. Let’s roll.

I don’t belabor the decisions, which is part of the appeal.

After the snake, I convinced my husband, Ethan, to get matching “So Long” tattoos — a reference to “So Long You Pretty Thing” by Spiritualized, a song he introduced me to that gradually became ours. During the same appointment, I added a solar system to my left forearm. My daughter now treats it as a party trick, asking to see "Saturn, your favorite planet, Mom," when we're in a room with someone new.

Not long afterward, we returned for Joshua Tree tattoos. Then we dragged our kids to a piercing studio on a Sunday afternoon, where I added a third hole to my left ear and Ethan got his first earring.

By then, it was officially a thing.

I’d gotten tattoos before. At 22, I chose a small star on my left wrist. A few years later, my best friend and I got astrological symbols on our rib cages. Then came an “S” for my dog Salinger, tucked against my other rib cage.

I still like those tattoos, but they’re discreet and easily covered. My newer tattoos stretch across my wrists and forearms, and are therefore impossible to ignore. The shift feels telling: These days, I’m less inclined to keep the stranger parts of myself stashed neatly out of sight.

For years, alcohol was how I coaxed those parts into view, or so I believed.

I spent most of my late teens and adulthood believing my impulsivity and love of a good time — and my ability to put away drinks — were what made me interesting. Booze turned off the part of my brain that catalogued other people's reactions and managed how I moved through a room. It felt like a portal to magic.

Unfortunately, the portal only opened one way. I could get in, but I couldn't reliably get out on my own terms. One drink became three, five, whatever, and summoned a demon version of myself I didn't recognize.

When I finally quit for good in February 2025, I worried sobriety would drain the color from my life. I pictured myself becoming vigorously sensible: hydrated, well-rested, and boring. Quelle horreur!

But that’s not what happened. It was challenging at first, sure. But now I feel more alive and much more content in my weirdness than I did when I was drinking.

I may go to bed considerably earlier, but I still encourage people to skip small talk, consult their spirit guides, and quit their day jobs. I'm still the parent starting impromptu dance parties in the frozen aisle of Whole Foods, to my kids' mortification, until they inevitably cave and join in. Alcohol, I realized, had been taking credit for qualities that belonged to me all along.

Still, I missed some of the impulsivity that came with partying — the rush of doing something unnecessary simply because it felt good.

Tattoos have given me some of that back.

I love getting tattooed. I like walking into Frank’s sprawling studio, settling into the soft leather chair, and feeling the first scratch of the needle. It barely hurts, and when it does, it’s good pain: chosen and contained. There’s something lovely about being completely inside my own body.

Sometimes I wonder if I’ve simply replaced one high with another. Maybe I have. But this high doesn’t make me disappear or chip away at my self-worth. If anything, it leaves me more present. It’s the opposite of numbing; it feels like waking up. I’m learning to stay awake without the needle too — to notice what I actually want instead of just reacting to what everyone needs from me.

My tattoos make that awareness visible: the places I’ve been, the people and animals I’ve loved, the stranger and slightly witchier woman I’m welcoming. If I look like someone who has lived an interesting life, it’s because I have.

Next, I think, will be the outline of my dog Esmé’s head, including her one floppy ear that never quite matched the other. I’ll collect a few photographs, consider the placement, and run it by Ethan and the kids.

Then, when it feels right, I’ll DM Frank.

Rachel Van Dolsen is a New York–based writer and PR consultant. She spends her days crafting stories—for clients and for her two children, who demand increasingly elaborate bedtime sagas. She writes the newsletter Close Enough to Burn on Substack, where she explores motherhood, creativity, and the occasional ADHD-fueled side quest.

Amazon’s Prime Big Deal Days is live now through October 7, so it’s the perfect time to stock up on household essentials, knock out a few bigger purchases, and get ahead on holiday shopping before things get hectic. Our shopping editors and deal experts are scouring for all the biggest and best discounts worth grabbing now, before they sell out.

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This 13-piece set covers most everyday kitchen prep with chef, slicing, santoku, bread, utility, and paring knives, plus kitchen shears. Each stainless-steel knife has its own blade guard, so you can safely store the set in a drawer instead of giving up counter space to a bulky knife block. The blades are also dishwasher safe and have a coating designed to resist rust.

48% Off An Amazon Smart Plug With Over 500,000 Reviews

Amazon Smart Plug

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This compact smart plug lets you add Alexa voice control to lamps, fans, coffee makers, and other compatible devices without setting up a separate smart-home hub. You can create timers, schedules, and routines so certain devices turn on or off automatically throughout the day. It's also small enough to leave the second outlet accessible and will reconnect on its own after many Wi-Fi or power interruptions.

53% Off Wireless Earbuds With Up To 30 Hours Of Listening Time

Soundcore by Anker P20i True Wireless Earbuds

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These wireless earbuds give you up to 10 hours of listening on a charge and 30 hours total when you factor in the charging case. The companion app lets you choose from 22 EQ presets and customize the controls, while a Find My Earbuds feature can help when one inevitably disappears into the couch. They're also water-resistant and have two microphones designed to make calls sound clearer.

40% Off OGX Volumizing Shampoo For Fuller-Looking Hair

OGX Thick & Full + Biotin & Collagen Volumizing Shampoo

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OGX's biotin-and-collagen shampoo is designed to give flat or fine hair a fuller, more voluminous look. It's suitable for color-treated hair, too, so it can easily work into a wide range of routines. This is the type of everyday essential that's worth stocking up on while its on sale.

41% Off A 5-Pack Of BIC Highlighters

BIC Brite Liner Highlighters (5-Pack)

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Stock up your desk, backpack, or home office with this five-pack of BIC highlighters. The pack includes five different fluorescent-hued highlighters, each with a chisel tip that works well for both broad highlighting and finer underlining, but what really makes these highlighters impressive is that they're designed to resist drying out for up to 8 hours when left uncapped.

31% Off COVERGIRL Mascara For Fuller-Looking Lashes

COVERGIRL Lash Blast Volume Mascara

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Offering extreme volume, this mascara plumps up each individual lash for a dramatic look that resists water, smudging, and clumping. It's safe to use on sensitive skin and has been certified as cruelty-free by the Leaping Bunny Program. No wonder it's earned more than 14,000 five-star ratings.

41% Off A Snail Mucin Essence With Over 100,000 Reviews

COSRX Snail Mucin Repairing Serum

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This lightweight essence uses 96.3% snail secretion filtrate to give dry or dull-looking skin a boost of hydration. It's designed to absorb without leaving behind a heavy feel while helping skin look smoother, healthier, and more glowy. More than 100,000 Amazon shoppers have weighed in on it, and it maintains an impressive rating of over 4.5 stars.

32% Off A 12-Pack Of Paper Mate Pens In Assorted Colors

Paper Mate Profile Retractable Ballpoint Pens (12-Pack)

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These colorful ballpoint pens have a bold 1.4mm tip that lays down smooth, vivid ink, while the soft grip keeps things comfortable through long writing sessions. The retractable design is bag-friendly, and the assorted shades are great for visually organizing information or just adding a little personality.

51% Off A Stanley Quencher With Over 200,000 Reviews

STANLEY Quencher H2.0 Tumbler with Handle and Straw

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Stanley's 40-ounce Quencher has an ergonomic handle, reusable straw, and narrow base that's designed to fit in most car cup holders. Its three-position lid gives you a few different sipping options, while the insulated stainless-steel construction helps keep your drink at the temperature you want. With more than 200,000 reviews, it's one of those popular Amazon finds that could make a practical gift or everyday upgrade.

52% Off A Robot Vacuum That Mops At The Same Time

roborock Q7 L5 Robot Vacuum and Mop Combo

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It's rare to find a really functional robot vacuum that also mops, so this model from roborock is a true standout option. It can map to multiple levels of your home, and features powerful suction and an anti-tangle feature for hair and pet hair. The built-in water tank allows you to mop and vacuum at the same time. Whether you're investing for the first time or replacing your old model, this robot vac is a fantastic buy while it's on sale.

63% Off A Hanes Hoodie With Over 170,000 Reviews

Hanes EcoSmart Hoodie

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A classic Hanes hoodie is the kind of basic that's useful for lounging, running errands, traveling, and just about everything in between. This one is made from midweight fleece with ribbed cuffs and a waistband, a drawstring hood, and a roomy kangaroo pocket. The fabric is designed to resist pilling, and more than 170,000 reviewers have weighed in on it.

68% Off Collagen Powder In A Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Flavor

Vital Proteins Pumpkin Spice Collagen Peptides

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Vital Proteins' fan favorite collagen powder comes in a limited edition pumpkin spice flavor you can save big on right now — so you can reap the hair, skin, and joint benefits while leaning into cozy season. With 20 grams of collagen peptides per serving, it mixes especially well with hot drinks like coffee, or you can add it to your morning oatmeal.

62% Off A Slim Rib-Knit Top That's Great For Layering

ANRABESS Rib-Knit Long-Sleeve Shirt

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This fitted long-sleeve shirt makes an easy base layer for jeans, trousers, skirts, or even workwear. The lightweight rib-knit construction keeps it streamlined enough to wear underneath sweaters and jackets without adding a lot of bulk. It's one of those simple wardrobe staples that can get plenty of mileage as the weather cools down.

60% Off A Ring Battery Doorbell With 2K Video

Ring Battery Doorbell

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Upgrade your front-door setup with this rechargeable Ring doorbell, which gives you a wide-angle view in sharp 2K video. Two-Way Talk lets you communicate with someone at your door, while enhanced zoom makes it easier to take a closer look at what's happening outside. Because the battery is built in and rechargeable, you don't need to rely on existing doorbell wiring.

48% Off A Lightweight Shark Cordless Vacuum

Shark Cordless Vacuum Cleaner

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This Shark cordless vacuum combines a lightweight design with strong suction for quick cleanups around the house. It can run for up to 40 minutes, has a self-cleaning brushroll designed to reduce hair wrap, and converts into a handheld vacuum when you need to tackle furniture or smaller spaces. HEPA and anti-allergen filtration also help capture dust and other particles as you clean.

38% Off Neutrogena Makeup Remover Wipes Worth Stocking Up On

Neutrogena Makeup Remover Wipes (50 Count)

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Do your future self a favor and stock up on these best-selling makeup remover wipes while they're on sale. This is a pack of two, each with 25 alcohol-free face towelettes that easily wipe away makeup with a few quick swipes. Keep them stocked away under the bathroom sink for when your stash runs out, or bring them on vacation with you for a liquid-free makeup-removing solution.

51% Off A Cordless Vacuum With Up To 60 Minutes Of Runtime

Shark Cordless Vertex Pro Lightweight Cordless Stick Vacuum IZ662H

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This cordless vacuum offers the cleaning power of a full-size model without making you drag a cord from room to room. Its dual-brushroll system is designed to clean both hard floors and carpets, while a self-cleaning brushroll helps prevent hair from wrapping around it. The removable battery can provide up to 60 minutes of runtime and HEPA filtration helps capture dust and allergens while you clean.

50% Off A 12-Pack Of Paper Mate Flair Pens

Paper Mate Flair Felt Tip Pens (12-Pack)

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Add a splash of color to your journaling, to-do list, or anything else with these felt-tip pens. The medium felt tips use water-based ink designed to resist smearing and fading while minimizing bleed-through. You get 12 bright colors, and the reinforced tips help reduce fraying over time.

32% Off Maybelline's Viral Sky High Mascara

Maybelline Lash Sensational Sky High Mascara

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Reviewers swear by this mascara for its lash-extension look without the appointment. The flexible brush bends to reach lashes from root to tip, helping create length, volume, and definition that still feels lightweight. Infused with bamboo extract and fibers, the washable formula is designed to resist flakes and smudges while remaining gentle on sensitive eyes and contact lens wearers.

40% Off A 6-Pack Of Large Storage Bags With Clear Windows

Fab Totes Storage Bags (6-Pack)

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Seasonal clothes, extra bedding, and other bulky items can quickly take over a closet, which is where these roomy storage bags come in handy. Each one holds about 17 gallons and has reinforced handles, dual zippers, and a clear window so you can see what's inside without opening it. The flexible bags also fold flat when they're empty, so they won't become another bulky thing you have to store.

34% Off A Yankee Candle That Smells Like Fresh Apples

Yankee Candle Macintosh Scented Candle, 22 ounce

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Yankee Candle's Macintosh scent brings the crisp smell of apples into your home without having to bake a pie first. The large 22-ounce jar uses a plant-wax blend and is designed to deliver consistent, room-filling fragrance. It can burn for up to 150 hours, making it a good one to keep around throughout fall.

28% Off A Highly Rated Heat-Protectant Spray

CHI 44 Iron Guard Thermal Protection Spray

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If a blow-dryer, curling iron, or flat iron is part of your usual routine, a heat protectant is an easy step to add before styling. This lightweight spray protects hair at temperatures up to 450 degrees Fahrenheit while helping reduce heat-related damage and breakage. It's also designed to tame frizz, smooth the cuticle, and leave hair looking shinier without feeling greasy.

35% Off BISSELL's Cult-Favorite Little Green Carpet Cleaner

BISSELL Little Green Multi-Purpose Portable Carpet Cleaner

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BISSELL's Little Green portable multi-purpose cleaner sprays, scrubs, and suctions stains from carpets, upholstery, and even car interiors, and it uses a specialized formula to tackle stains and odors. If the tens of thousands of reviewers are to be believed, this powerful little cleaner works like magic.

59% Off An Iconic Soft Cotton Bralette

Calvin Klein Modern Cotton Unlined Wireless Bralette

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This wireless, unlined bralette is made from a soft cotton-modal blend with stretch, giving it a lightweight and breathable feel for everyday wear. The pullover racerback silhouette keeps things simple, while the wide elastic band adds support without an underwire. It's machine washable, and Amazon recommends sizing up if you prefer more coverage or a more relaxed fit.

60% Off A Ring Battery Doorbell With Enhanced Zoom

Ring Battery Doorbell 2K

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Ring's rechargeable battery doorbell gives you a wide-angle 2K view of what's happening around your front door. Enhanced zoom lets you take a closer look, while Two-Way Talk makes it possible to speak with visitors from your device. Its built-in rechargeable battery also makes it an option for homes where hardwiring a video doorbell isn't convenient.

64% Off An Amazon Fire TV Stick For 4K Streaming

Amazon Fire TV Stick 4K Select

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If your TV's built-in streaming interface is slow or outdated, Amazon's Fire TV Stick 4K Select offers an easy way to upgrade it. The compact device supports 4K streaming and puts streaming apps, live TV, and free content in one place. It also includes Alexa-powered search, so you can spend less time typing out movie and show titles with a remote.

30% Off The Frida Baby Electric Nasal Aspirator

Frida Baby Electric Nasal Aspirator

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Helping clear congestion is as easy as pressing a button with the Frida Baby rechargeable nasal aspirator. Two skin-friendly silicone tips offer a comfortable fit for nostrils, while the suction adjustment lets you tailor the experience so it's both efficient but gentle. The built-in light creates a visual distraction for your little one, making the whole process seamless and easy.

50% Off Anastasia Beverly Hills Liquid Lipstick

Anastasia Beverly Hills Liquid Lipstick Matte Saturated Longwear Color

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This matte liquid lipstick has an ultra-smooth finish with a shockingly long wear time. Designed not to fade or smudge, the high-pigment formula glides on easily with the flat, double-sided wand — for easy application at home or on the go. Shoppers love how the creamy texture feels on the lips, too.

63% Off A Pair Of Memory-Foam Slippers With A Nonslip Sole

EverFoams Fuzzy Slippers

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Give cold feet a softer place to land with these plush indoor slippers. They have a fuzzy wool-like upper, a soft lining, and memory-foam cushioning underfoot, while the nonslip sole adds some extra grip around the house. They're even machine washable, which is a nice perk for something you may end up wearing every day.

45% Off A Lightweight Laura Geller Powder Foundation

LAURA GELLER Baked Balance-n-Brighten Powder Foundation

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This powder foundation is nice pickup for anyone looking for lightweight daily coverage that leaves your skin looking even and brighter. This powder foundation works especially great on oily skin, and is dermatologist-approved for all skin types. It's also packed with centella asiatica, vitamin E, and green tea extract so this doubles as skin care.

60% Off An Amazon Fire TV Stick For HD TVs

Amazon Fire TV Stick HD

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Amazon's Fire TV Stick HD is made for HD TVs and comes with an Alexa Voice Remote for finding shows, movies, and other content. Its compact design also makes it easy to move between compatible TVs or bring along when you're traveling.

40% Off A Flat Extension Cord That Can Power 9 Devices

SUPERDANNY Thin Extension Cord, 10-foot

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This 10-foot extension cord is a smart solution for bedrooms, home offices, or dorms where outlets never seem to be in the right place. It combines six traditional outlets with two USB-A ports and one USB-C port, letting you power or charge up to nine devices. The flat, low-profile plug also sits closer to the wall, which can be useful behind furniture.

17% Off A Power Strip That Can Charge 12 Devices

CHCORE Surge Protector Power Strip

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Turn one wall outlet into a charging station for your desk, bedroom, or home office with this space-saving power strip. It has eight AC outlets plus four USB ports, including two USB-C ports, so you can power up to 12 devices at once. The outlets are spaced apart to accommodate larger plugs, while a flat plug and 5-foot braided cord make it easier to use behind furniture.

38% Off A 4-Pack Of medicube Overnight Gel Masks

medicube Jelly Gel Mask with Salmon DNA PDRN Pink Collagen (4 Pack)

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These wildly popular gel masks combine PDRN have low-molecular-weight collagen and are designed to support a dewy, firmer-looking complexion while you sleep.

58% Off A Robot Vacuum With A Self-Emptying Base

Shark AI Ultra Robot Vacuum AV2511AE

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This robot vacuum can take a sizeable chunk of floor cleaning off your plate, especially if pet hair and everyday debris seem to reappear as soon as you vacuum. It uses home mapping and a multi-pass cleaning pattern to cover carpets and hard floors, then empties itself into a bagless base that can hold up to 60 days of debris. An anti-hair-wrap system and HEPA filtration also help make ongoing maintenance more manageable.

46% Off medicube’s Collagen Serum

medicube Collagen Glow Booster Serum

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Nourishing your skin has never been easier, thanks to this deeply hydrating serum in a handy click pen applicator. The formula features hero ingredients like niacinamide, milk protein, and collagen, and it's backed by a 4.5-star overall rating.

27% Off medicube's Vitamin C Capsule Cream

medicube Capsule Cream with Deep Vitamin C for Radiance

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Cult-favorite Korean skin care brand medicube is known for its science-forward products and this vitamin C capsule cream is one of the brands most-loved offerings. The capsules are deeply concentrated with sea buckthorn extract to soften skin, vitamin B6 to tighten skin, ascorbic acid to even skin tone, and so much more. Just pop one—it's surprisingly satisfying—and work it into your face to see the benefits.

20% Off A Highly Rated Micellar Water

Bioderma Sensibio H2O Micellar Water

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This gentle micellar water removes makeup and cleanses without requiring a traditional rinse, making it especially handy for busy nights or travel. The skin-pH formula was developed with sensitive skin in mind and is designed to leave your face feeling soothed and refreshed instead of stripped. It works on both face and eye makeup and has earned an impressive rating of over 4.5 stars.

40% Off this tarte Tubing Lash Primer

tarte tartelette Tubing Lash Primer

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This hydrating lash primer is designed to be brushed on before your mascara to create a more voluminous eye look. It's formulated with shea butter and hyaluronic acid to moisturize and condition your lashes. And the clever tubing application is designed so you can remove the product with just warm water at the end of the day.

24% Off A Wildly Popular At-Home Teeth Whitening Kit

Crest Teeth Whitening Strips

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These whitening strips are made to tackle deeper stains without requiring an appointment at the dentist. The box comes with 22 treatments, and the strips use a no-slip design that helps them stay put while you wear them. They're enamel-safe and have racked up more than 100,000 reviews from Amazon shoppers.

31% Off A Cordless Vacuum With Up To 60 Minutes Of Runtime

Dyson Cyclone V10 Origin Cordless Vacuum

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Cut the cord while tackling floors throughout your home with this powerful cordless vacuum. It offers three cleaning modes and up to 60 minutes of fade-free runtime, giving you enough flexibility for quick pickups or a more thorough cleaning session. The power trigger also draws energy only while you're actively vacuuming, helping make the most of each charge.

45% Off A Vitamin C Serum Infused With Other Powerful Ingredients

TruSkin Vitamin C Super Serum

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This popular serum not only offers a healthy dose of vitamin C — it also includes a ton of skin-friendly ingredients like retinol, niacinamide, hyaluronic acid, and squalane that hydrate, revitalize, and balance your complexion. With a mild citrus scent, it's designed to be layered, using just a few drops every few days under a moisturizer for best results.

29% Off A Kitchen Scale With Over 170,000 Reviews

Etekcity Food Kitchen Scale

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Whether you're baking, meal prepping, or portioning ingredients, this compact kitchen scale makes precise measuring much easier. It can weigh up to 11 pounds in five different units and has a tare function that lets you subtract the weight of your bowl or container. The stainless-steel surface is easy to wipe clean, and a backlit display makes the measurements easy to read.

52% Off A Conair Curling & Waving Tool

Conair Curling Iron & Waver Hair Tool

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Adding beachy and deeper, more pronounced waves to your hair is a snap with this triple-barreled tool in your arsenal. It features a whopping 30 heat settings, shuts off automatically after use, and has a tourmaline ceramic coating for even heat distribution. The lightweight 1.2-pound design makes it comfortable to use, as do the easily reached control buttons.

40% Off A Cult-Favorite Mascara From Lancôme

Lancôme Lash Idôle Volumizing Mascara

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More than 7,500 shoppers have given this lengthening and volumizing mascara a perfect five-star rating because it delivers serious results that last all day. The brush features micro-bristles for extra lift, while the light, clump-resistant gel formula is designed to keep them up.

24% Off A Cordless Handheld Vacuum For Quick Cleanups

BLACK+DECKER dustbuster Cordless Handheld Vacuum

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For crumbs on the couch, pet hair in the car, and all the little messes that don't justify pulling out a full-size vacuum, this handheld option is easy to grab. It has a built-in crevice tool for tight spaces along with a clear dirt bowl that lets you see when it's time to empty it. Both the bowl and filter are washable, and the included wall mount gives it a dedicated spot to charge between uses.

65% Off A Wireless Outdoor Security Camera With A 2-Year Battery Life

Blink Outdoor 4 – Wireless smart security camera

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Keep an eye on your property without having to run wires outside with this battery-powered security camera. It offers 1080p live video, infrared night vision, two-way audio, and enhanced motion detection, while the included batteries can provide up to two years of power. This system also comes with the Sync Module Core you need to connect the camera, with optional person-detection alerts available through a Blink subscription.

55% Off A Highly Rated Niacinamide Cream

ANUA Peach Niacinamide Cream

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This niacinamide-rich daily moisturizer is designed to hydrate while it strengthens your skin's barrier. Put a little on in the morning and night and it'll gently exfoliate and moisturize your skin all at once. The light peach scent isn't overwhelming and despite its heavy-duty hydrating properties, it feels lightweight on your skin. Grab it at this low price while the sale day lasts.

7% Off A Waterproof Pulsating Vibrator

Womanizer Pro40 Vibrator

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Pulsating waves are one of the features that help this vibrator deliver maximum pleasure. Designed with a soft silicone head, it offers six different levels of intensity — so you can customize your experience in the bedroom. And it's waterproof, so you can use it in the shower or bath, too.

50% Off A Laura Geller Creamy, Hydrating Lipstick

LAURA GELLER NEW YORK Modern Classic Cream Lipstick

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This creamy lipstick is designed to deliver all-day color without bleeding into your lip line. The lightweight, non-drying formula has vitamin E and white orchid extract to nourish and hydrate, and the lipstick is available in six shades that are made to pair with all skin tones.

28% Off A Pair Of Apple AirPods

Apple AirPods Pro 3 Earbuds

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So popular they have over 12,000 five-star ratings, these Apple AirPods are designed to dull surrounding noise, so you can have the best listening experience possible. The ear tips come in five sizes, to ensure a comfortable fit, and they can go for up to eight hours before needing a charge.

23% Off A Pack Of Cooling Hydrogel Eye Patches

medicube Hydrogel Eye Patches with PDRN, Caffeine & Collagen (60 Counts)

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Revive tired under-eye skin easily with these cooling hydrogel patches. Infused with skin-friendly ingredients like PDRN, retinol, and collagen, they only need to adhere for 10 minutes, making them easy to add to your morning routine. They can also be used to help revitalize your forehead, neck, and smile lines.

40% Off A Best-Selling Waterproof Liquid Eyeliner

stila Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid Eyeliner

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This waterproof liquid eyeliner from stila is a bestseller for a reason — the transfer-resistant, waterproof formula won't budge even if you wear it all day. This jet black color is a classic and looks great with a dramatic eye, but there are a bunch of warm hues and classic neutrals to choose from. Act fast for the best price.

55% Off A Cult-Favorite Juicy Lip Plump

tarte Maracuja Juicy Lip Plump

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Hydrating and volumizing, this cult-fave balm has a glassy, glossy finish that doesn't feel sticky in the slightest. Formulated with vitamin E, hyaluronic acid, maracuja ,and 10-plus superfruits, the balm provides immediate moisture to smooth lines and provides a plumping effect that reviewers rave about. It comes in a range of shades that range from a soft wash of color to deeper tints.

40% Off Hardside Carry-On Luggage

American Tourister Stratum 3.0 Carry-On Spinner

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This durable hardside carry-on luggage has all the features you need to move seamlessly through the airport: 360-degree spinner wheels, an adjustable handle, and an ultra-light design. In addition to black, it's offered in trendy muted pastels so you can showcase your personality.

30% Off A Brow-Defining Pencil With A Triangle Tip

Anastasia Beverly Hills - Brow Definer 3-in-1 Triangle Eyebrow Pencil

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A cult-favorite beauty essential, this brow pencil from Anastasia Beverly Hills makes it almost too easy to fill in brows. The triangle tip adds blendable color, while the spoolie shapes and defines. The smooth wax formula promises all-day coverage that looks natural. Choose from tons of hues.

35% Off A Neutral Eyeshadow Palette From Urban Decay

Urban Decay Naked2 Basics Matte Eyeshadow Palette

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Packed with six high-pigmented neutral shadows, this palette from Urban Decay is great for long-lasting wear. Each shade is paraben-free, sulfate-free, and phthalate-free, and incredibly easy to blend. With a velvety texture, it complements all tones beautifully.

44% Off Expandable Spinner Luggage

Travelers Club Chicago Hard-Side Expandable Spinner Luggage

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A dependable hard-side suitcase designed to fit carry-on sizing rules for most airlines, this luggage has tons of must-have features for stress-free traveling. Able to expand to hold that extra outfit or souvenir, it features a zippered upper half, stretchy compression straps to help keep everything in place, and 360-degree spinner wheels for effortless motion. The telescopic handle pops up at the touch of a button and locks back in place when you don't need it.

32% Off A Best-Selling Wireless Bra

OEAK Deep-V Wireless Bra

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This best-selling bra offers comfortable support for everyday wear. Crafted from breathable nylon and elastane, it has a great amount of stretch without feeling restrictive. While it's wireless, it uses liquid jelly band technology to offer the perfect amount of lift. Its deep-V cut will make it an everyday favorite.

63% Off A Mid-Weight Hoodie With 127,000+ 5-Star Reviews

Hanes EcoSmart Fleece Hooded Sweatshirt

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Boasting more than 127,000 five-star reviews, this mid-weight hooded sweatshirt is made with a pill-resistant cotton blend for a plush feel that wears well season to season. It features a drawstring dyed to match and has a split kangaroo pocket to keep your hands warm. A tag-free design ensures comfort, as does the cozy and well-sized hood.

48% Off A Pair Of Cozy Memory Foam Slippers

EverFoams Fuzzy Open-Toe Memory Foam Slippers

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These best-selling memory foam slippers are great for starting or ending the day. Designed with a double strap, faux fur uppers, and a soft lining, they're cozy to wear. Anti-skid grips offer solid traction, and their high-density memory foam will adjust to your feet over time for a customized fit. You can grab them in multiple color options.

31% Off A Pair Of Classic Crocs

Crocs Unisex-Adult Classic Clog

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With over 300,000 ratings and a near-perfect 4.8-star average, the Crocs Classic Clog is backed by a cult following. It's easy to see why these shoes are so popular — they're lightweight, breathable, durable, easy to clean, and most of all super comfortable. Crocs recommends that if you’re in between sizes, size up.

30% Off A Set Of Reusable Nipple Covers

Nippies Reusable Nipple Covers

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These reusable nipple covers are the ultimate wardrobe hack, allowing you to go bra free without any outfit mishaps. Made in a silicone design that's waterproof, invisible on, and is easy to remove, these are climbing the Amazon bestseller charts for a reason. They're on super sale while the sale lasts.

56% Off High-Waisted Shapewear Shorts That Won’t Roll Down

ForeverShaper High-Waisted Shapewear Tummy Control Shorts

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These high-waisted shapewear shorts are getting rave reviews — and now, you can give them a try at a great discount. They're seamless, sleek, and soft, as well as breathable for comfortable wear throughout the night. They also offer a lift in back and are designed with silicone bones at the waist to keep them from rolling down or pinching.

41% Off A Pair Of Waterproof Pillow Slippers

Joomra Pillow Slippers

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True to their name, the 1.7-inch-deep sole of these slippers ensures a cloud-like, pillowy feel with every step. The deep heel cups and nonslip bottoms help improve grip, making them comfortable to walk in around the house or out on errands. Made of waterproof and quick-drying EVA material, they're lightweight; you can even use a hair dryer to heat them before wearing them for the first time (as described in the listing) for a completely custom fit.

63% Off A Pair Of Snuggly Faux Fur Slippers

EverFoams Memory Foam Fuzzy Slippers

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Designed with comfort in mind, this snuggly pair of slippers is made with the softest faux fur (inside and out) and cushy memory foam insoles. The durable nonslip sole will help you keep a grip indoors and out. Best yet, they're machine washable as needed.

21% Off A Box Of Pimple Patches That Absorb Gunk In Just 6 Hours

Mighty Patch Hero Overnight Pimple Patches (36-Pack)

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Treat acne while you sleep with these cult-fave overnight hydrocolloid pimple patches that boast a 4.6-star overall rating after more than 189,000 reviews. Suitable for even sensitive skin, they absorb whitehead gunk in just six hours to shrink the appearance of pimples and help support healing after just one use. They remove without causing any irritation in the morning.

35% Off A Color-Correcting Under-Eye Concealer

IT Cosmetics Bye Bye Under-Eye Anti-Aging Full-Coverage Concealer

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This under-eye concealer works wonders to color correct and conceal dark circles. The hydrating formula doesn't go on cake-y so this works great as a first step after sunscreen or primer but before any additional makeup. Join the masses who have added this to their makeup routine — the results speak for themselves.

32% Off A Trio Of Hydrating Tinted Lip Balms

Burt's Bees Lip Shimmer Pink Collection Tinted Lip Balm (3-Pack)

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This three-pack of Burt's Bees tinted lip balms is a must for the dry seasons. Offering deep hydration thanks to the shea and cocoa butter formula, these balms look as good as they feel. Three shimmery shades of pink add a natural pop of color with a pepperminty finish. Scoop them up while they're on sale — they make great gifts, too.

68% Off A pH-Based Color-Changing Foundation

Luxe Color-Changing Foundation

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Trying to find the right foundation shade from your screen is near impossible — which is why this genius pH-based formula comes in three color-changing shades that go on white and then shift to your skin tone for a perfect match. Designed to avoid settling into fine lines, it smooths, hydrates, and evens out discoloration via niacinamide, hyaluronic acid, vitamin E, and more. It leaves behind a matte finish and blends effortlessly for a seamless look.

20% Off Dermatologist-Recommended Hair Growth Supplements

Nutrafol Women's Balance Hair Growth Supplements

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I've always wanted to be the mom my kid’s friends call “Mama.” The kind of loving and trusted adult that even kids who don’t belong to me feel secure coming to with tea or for advice. Not necessarily the “cool mom,” but definitely the reliable one. And then my daughter met Isabel. And, truthfully, I just can’t stand her... or her family.

Before the girls became super close, Isabel seemed like the perfect friend for my daughter (we’ll call her Clementine). They’re both social butterflies with big personalities and similar obsessions. Isabel invited Clementine everywhere, and we gladly accepted. We live in a neighborhood with no other kids Clem’s age, so we were pumped when she bonded so fiercely with Isabel.

Let me preface this by saying that Isabel is a pretty good kid.

When I was growing up, I had a collection of best friends who lit things on fire, snuck out of their house, threw every glass bottle they found, regularly treated themselves to five-finger discounts. Isabel is not that kind of friend. She does, however, come with her own set of “issues.”

For starters, Isabel inhabits a world wildly different from ours. She lives with her grandparents in an affluent neighborhood outside of our school district. They’re fairly “cool” and nice enough, minus Nana’s RBF. Their neighborhood has a great pool and bonkers trick-or-treating. They love Isabel intensely and tolerate my kid pretty well. They’re also active members of the greater city area, which I truly admire about them.

Still, there are just so many hurdles we can’t seem to leap over when we have to parent together at playdates. Even in areas where we share ideals, their approach is very different from mine.

Like their granddaughter, they’re very social, so they love to invite us to major community events. While I appreciate their spirit, big events are hard for me for numerous physical and mental health reasons. I’ve tried to explain that without going into too much detail, but it’s just not clicking in their boomer brains. I’ve had to say “no” to many invites and not mention them to my kid... only for them to bring it up at drop-off or pick-up days later.

Besides, I often feel like we’re invited so they can beef up the numbers at their events, not because they actually want either of us there. Although maybe that last one is just something I need to investigate with my therapist.

Another issue with Isabel? She’s a popular girl. While Clementine calls Isabel her best friend, it doesn't seem to be reciprocated. Isabel often ditches Clem at recess so she can hang out with other girls and never seems to invite my kid along.

And this might just be most 8-year-olds, but Isabel has called Clem multiple times just to say she meant to call a different friend and rush to get off the phone. Listen, I’m happy not to have my daughter usurp my phone for an hour, but I’d much rather skip scrolling for a while than watch my babe’s face go from lit up and excited to talk to her bestie to crumpled and defeated because Isabel is choosing someone else.

The family also often makes (positive) assumptions about our finances that seem irrelevant but are simply rude. Isabel’s most recent birthday party was huge: four generations of family and about 20 different friends from their last few years of school. Clementine? Well, she invited Isabel out for after-school smoothies. “Is this the only party you’re having? Remember how big mine was?” Yes, thanks, Is. But our family is one-tenth the size of yours, and I can’t afford to take dozens of people to the trampoline park like your grandparents can.

Isabel is also uncontrollable. I don’t do so well trying to keep a third grader in line when I’m chaperoning a field trip and she’s inevitably on my team. She seems to have absolutely no rules at home, meaning when I give the girls a simple boundary, Isabel is quick to push back or toe the line.

Clementine is a marshmallow, easily melted... and it’s usually Isabel lighting the fire.

Most of us have been Clementine, right? I know I certainly have. It’s just part of growing up and going through life. You’re not always going to be the favorite friend, the preferred pal. Many of us have also probably been Isabel, with too many friends and not enough time. Even so, I thought all this would come later — I don’t remember these big feelings until middle and high school.

And I don’t witness these issues with Clem’s other friends. This all feels specific to Isabel, her personality, and her grown-ups. She’s nice enough. I don’t want them to not be friends at all. But, damn, can’t Clementine bond with a nicer, chiller girl instead?

You ever jolt awake at 3:14 a.m. like your body’s got a damn calendar alert you didn’t set? One minute, you’re dreaming about making out with Pedro Pascal at a Costco, and the next, you’re staring at the ceiling, wondering if you should just get up and fold laundry. Again.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Millions of people wake up at the exact same time every night... and it’s not random. Your body’s doing it on purpose. And while it’s tempting to blame ghosts, caffeine, or your toddler’s foot in your ribcage, the truth is a little more complicated but fixable.

1. Your Stress Hormones Are Screwing You

So, cortisol (stress hormone) isn’t evil — it keeps you alive. It helps regulate your sleep-wake cycle, metabolism, and immune responses. But if your stress levels are off the rails, cortisol can start doing weird stuff, like waking you up when it’s still pitch black outside.

Chronic stress messes with standard cortisol patterns, and disrupted sleep is one of the first things to show up when your levels are out of whack. Here’s how it works: Cortisol naturally rises in the early morning hours to help you wake up gradually. But if you’re stressed, your cortisol levels can get thrown off, spiking earlier. That sudden spike yanks you out of the dream world into the real world.

Katherine Altneu, a doctor of traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) and founder of The Point Acupuncture, describes it as a capacity problem. “I picture it as a stress cup that can overflow,” she tells Scary Mommy. “If you’re under-fueled, chronically stressed, drinking alcohol, or going through a major hormonal transition, your cup may already be pretty full. As the body begins its normal transition toward morning — mobilizing energy and cortisol to prepare for wakefulness — your cup can overflow and awaken you.”

In other words, perimenopause + a full plate + two glasses of wine at dinner = hello, 3 a.m.

2. Blood Sugar Dips and Rollercoasters

Ever wake up at 2 or 3 a.m. with a weird mix of nausea or anxiety? You might think it’s just stress, but it’s more likely your blood sugar crashing. Research shows that unstable sugar levels can wreck your sleep. We’re talking sudden wake-ups, nightmares, cold sweats, and that disoriented, WTF feeling. And it goes both ways. Poor sleep doesn’t just come from blood sugar swings; it causes them, too. It’s a toxic cycle that sends your body into a loop.

When your glucose dips too low at night, your body hits the panic button. It releases adrenaline and cortisol to yank your levels back up, a classic hormone surge that feels like your brain just got slapped awake.

And if you’re in your 40s, it may get worse before it gets better. “Overnight, blood sugar dips and cortisol rises to correct it, and in midlife that hand-off gets noisier as estrogen falls,” Deepshikha Gaur, a naturopathic practitioner and founder of Prahana Health, tells us. “A dinner that is early, large, and low in protein and fiber makes the correction sharper, so the brain surfaces fully instead of drifting through.”

That means the fix isn’t eating later; it’s eating strategically. Gaur has her patients add substance to dinner (think lentils or millet with cooked veggies), then follow it with “a small handful of soaked walnuts or a spoon of ground flax before bed.” Not a walnut person? A boiled egg, slice of turkey, or spoonful of almond butter works similarly.

3. Your Liver Has a Night Job, Too

Now here’s the crunchy part: Some experts in traditional Chinese medicine say your liver is most active between 1 and 3 a.m., doing its nightly detox magic. In TCM, each organ has a two-hour window where it's most energetically active, and the liver’s prime time is those early morning hours.

In TCM, the liver is a whole system, one “associated with the smooth movement of qi, blood storage, and the body’s ability to regulate and adapt,” Altneu says. “So when someone consistently wakes during this window, an acupuncturist will look beyond sleep itself and ask what is happening with stress, nourishment, digestion, hormones, and the person’s overall physiologic reserves.”

While Western medicine doesn’t necessarily co-sign the organ clock theory, it does agree your liver’s busy AF at night.

4. You’re Running on a Crappy Sleep Schedule

Here’s a not-so-fun truth bomb: If you go to bed at wildly different times every night, your body’s internal clock is gonna be pissed. That clock (aka your circadian rhythm) wants structure. Scientific research has found that irregular sleep schedules — like going to bed at 10 p.m. one night and 1:12 a.m. the next — are consistently linked to worse health outcomes.

In plain speak, your body wants rhythm. Give it chaos, and it pushes back hard. Disrupted sleep patterns throw off your internal systems, and your brain might start “correcting” by waking you up at the same time every night.

5. You’ve Trained Yourself to Wake Up

Yep, sometimes it's just a habit. If you’ve been waking up at the same time for weeks, months, or years, your body starts seeing that time as part of your routine. It’s like a broken loop.

The brain tends to learn patterns quickly. If waking at 2 a.m. becomes part of the script, the brain will keep repeating it. This is called conditioned arousal, and it’s very real. It can also be triggered by stress or trauma that happened while sleeping or in bed.

Once it starts, it’s hard to break, especially if you check your phone or get out of bed, reinforcing the habit.

6. Your Airway Is Tapping Out

File this one under things that tend to fly under the radar, especially for women. “When airflow is disrupted, the brain says, ‘Wake up and breathe again!’ explains Tara Clancy, a certified Buteyko breathing specialist and founder of Vitality24. As she puts it, sleep is “#2 on the list of our most fundamental physiological needs. Breathing is #1.”

But why does this show up in midlife so much? Hormonal shifts reduce muscle tone everywhere, Clancy says, “including in the muscles of the airway.” So, floppier airway, more interrupted breathing, more middle-of-the-night wakeups.

If you also snore, wake up gasping, or just feel wrecked in the morning no matter how long you were in bed, skip the hacks and ask your doctor about a sleep study. Sleep apnea in women is notoriously underdiagnosed.

So What Can You Do?

You can’t strong-arm your way into sleep, but you can fix the stuff screwing it up. Here’s where to start:

• Stick to a consistent sleep-wake schedule, even on weekends.
• Cut back on alcohol and sugar in the evening.
• Eat a dinner with real protein and fiber, plus a small protein snack before bed.
• Avoid doomscrolling before bed; it spikes anxiety and keeps your brain wired.
• Do something calming before sleep, like gentle stretching or a hot shower.
• Snoring or waking up gasping? Ask your doc about a sleep study.
• Talk to a sleep specialist if it’s been a few weeks and nothing’s changing.

Pretty sure the reasons behind your 3 a.m. wake-ups make a bit more sense now. These tips are practical, doable, and not some wild wellness mission. So get to it. Start sleeping like you mean it... or at least like someone who isn’t haunted by carbs and cortisol.

Limping. Soaked. Unsure what day it was. It might sound like I’m describing a final girl escaping the woods at the end of a horror movie, but it was actually just me… after Halloween Horror Nights last year. We were among the first to enter the park when the gates opened around 6:30 p.m., with Express Passes in hand, and still only made it through nine of the 10 houses (taking only minimal breaks for pesky human needs like eating and peeing). We didn’t roll out until the park closed at 2 a.m., waited what seemed like forever for our shuttle, and collapsed into bed around 3 a.m. after loading up on ibuprofen.

It took days to feel like a person again.

Earlier this year, I wrote a whole piece about what I wish someone had told me before my first HHN as a 40+ woman, and I stand by every word. After returning from this year’s event, though, I need to amend the record. There’s one tip that deserves to be bumped to the top of the list (and bolded and underlined): Buy the Scream Early ticket.​

Is it a splurge? Yes. But dear reader, I was tucked back in my hotel bed before midnight. Showered and horizontal. Snug and smug. And we were able to hit every single house and then some.

What is Scream Early?

This “extra” is an add-on to your regular HHN ticket that lets you into the park at 2 p.m., before the gates open to the general crowd (officially 6:30 p.m., though sometimes a bit earlier, around 6 p.m.). That means you get a head start of hours to hit the handful of houses that open early. This year, three houses opened right at 2 p.m., followed by two at 5:15 p.m., three more at 5:45 p.m., and the final two at 6 p.m.

We paired Scream Early with Express Passes (more on that particular financial decision in a minute) and knocked out four houses before the regular crowd so much as scanned a ticket. Four! That’s nearly half the lineup, and the sun hadn’t even gone down yet.

For context, we hadn’t hit that many houses last year until, like, 10 p.m.

Is Scream Early worth it?

Obviously, we anticipated being able to get through houses earlier with the ticket, but what we didn’t realize was how much it would shift the vibe of the night. It just sort of evaporated all the pressure we felt the year before.

Doing regular entry, we knew the math just wasn’t in our favor. You’ve got 10 houses, multiple scare zones, a show if you want to see it, snack carts to hit, and the lines for all of it only get longer as the night wears on. You end up spending the night speed-walking from one end of the park to the other, crisscrossing when the wait times app alerts you to a shorter wait at a house in a totally different part of the park, only to end up waiting in another line anyway (yes, even with Express).

This year, with four houses — including the two big draws: Ozzy Osbourne and Sinners — already in the bag before the night technically began, we didn’t feel the need to rush so much. For the first time, I managed to procure the highly anticipated Death by Cheesestick instead of abandoning the snack queue halfway through. We sat down multiple times to eat or drink or, honestly, just rest our old bones. We knew we had the time, so we didn’t feel guilty about it.

Being able to move at a slightly slower pace also makes the heat more bearable. It doesn’t matter that it was mid-October; Orlando weather does not care about your fall dreams. It’s still very hot and humid, meaning you’re going to sweat buckets no matter what time you walk in. And when you’re in your 30s or 40s, that kind of heat hits ya a little harder. We needed the ability to make frequent hydration and cooldown pit stops.

I’m OK with the youth having the after-midnight run.

One thing we’d been told going into this year, and it remains to be seen if this pattern will hold in the future, is that way more young people seemed to be attending HHN. As in teens and early 20-somethings, roaming around in packs, with their numbers appearing to multiply as the night wore on. And you know what? Good for them. They’ve still got the knees for it. I’m cool with them taking the 1 a.m. scare zones and last-call house sprints.

Since we frontloaded the night, we didn’t need those hours and could leave while we were still having fun and our bodies were still cooperating.

Let’s talk about the money.

​The cost of a Scream Early ticket depends on the night you go, but they start at $70 + tax per person. We paid $85 + tax per person for the Saturday we went. If you factor in Express Passes ($200+ per person, depending on the night) stacked on top of the event ticket itself, that is a real chunk of change. I know it’s not in the cards for everyone, *especially* in this economy.

​If you can only swing one, I’d make the case for Scream Early on its own. It’s the cheapest add-on and gets you a few low-crowd hours and a head start on the houses. Once the gates open, yes, you’ll wait longer than if you also had Express, but you’ll already be ahead of schedule so you’ll have the buffer built in.

As for splurging on both, here’s how I’ve made peace with it.

Being older means more aches and pains and, yes, our middle-aged asses hobbled through City Walk all hunched over and stiff on the way out of the park. But being older also means we have grown-up money and the free will to spend it on things that bring us joy, something we desperately needed a dose of right now. Some people drop their hard-earned dollars on handbags; we dropped ours to be terrified by a bunch of scare actors dressed as demagorgons. 🤷‍♀️

Midlife is the ideal time for the early shift.

I used to feel like the only way to do HHN “right” was to close the place down. But you know what? I’m not as young as I once was, and I’m fine with that. My 20s were fun. My 30s were a blast. My 40s are pretty f*cking awesome too, though, and with them comes leaning into what feels good to me.

I still packed the ibuprofen. I still definitely needed it. The big difference: I woke up the next morning feeling like I’d had a great night out… instead of feeling like I’d barely survived one. I didn’t lose three days of my life to recovery.

So, if you’re a fellow 40-something horror girlie eyeballing next year’s tickets, this is me grabbing you by the shoulders once more: Go early. Leave early. The scares are just as good when you get them before midnight, I promise.

Happy 40th birthday to me. Holy crap, I'm 40.

I'll be honest, my first instinct was to treat it like a countdown. Forty feels like the year the body starts sending memos. Mammograms. Estrogen quietly packing its bags. The slow arrival of puppy jowls. A sudden, urgent relationship with protein, to the point that even my coffee has protein in it now, and I have made my peace with that.

The questions show up too, usually around 2 a.m. What am I doing with my life? What do I actually want to do with it? Why am I tired and achy and forgetting words in the middle of a sentence? And the one I can't quite shake: why are men getting more attractive on zero skincare while I run an 11-step routine and negotiate nightly with my jowls and still feel like they’re aging better than me?

We tend to call this stretch of life a midlife crisis. I understand the branding, but crisis isn't the right word for what I'm feeling. It feels more like an awakening. A quiet rolling-back of everything that once seemed so urgent into something gentler and more deliberate. Turning 40 set me down squarely in the present, and truth-be-told there has been relief in that. Real relief, sitting right next to some real aches and a fog thick enough that I once went looking for the phone I was already holding.

As a kid, I always gravitated toward people decades older than me. As an autistic person, that makes complete sense to me now. Older adults tended to be direct and unambiguous, and they offered a kind of peace, a predictability I could trust. My brain has always reached for the clear and the stable in the people I love. That was never a flaw in how I connected, but it was simply how I connected, and it still is.

And here is what caught me off guard: I looked around one day recently and realized my peers are now the age of the very adults I once found safety in. It isn't Meg and her friends' parents anymore, or Meg and her teachers. It's just Meg and her friends. Somewhere in that quiet math, something came loose in the best possible way. My friends are the ones carrying the wisdom now, the healed-over scars, the stories of growth. They are the grown-ups I used to feel safe beside, except this time we chose each other on purpose. We ask one another to be vulnerable, and we handle that vulnerability with care.

When it isn't handled with care, when a relationship starts taking up precious space and giving nothing back, we know what to do. My friend, a magnificent Julie Andrews look-alike in her mid-60s, calls it “weeding the garden”. You pull what's crowding out the good things and make room for new growth.

So in this next decade I plan to weed the garden. For me, this looks like physically listing out who is in my life or who I call “friend” and going through that list to determine if they make my garden more lively and beautiful (oh heck, Marie Kondo that list! Do they bring me joy or no?), do they have qualities I admire and want to be around and do they return the same energy to me that I offer to them? And of course I get there are seasons where that isn’t always possible. Sometimes health and life circumstances cause that give-and-take to shift for a bit. That’s life. That also only amplifies the importance of weeding my garden, because I myself have health issues and know sometimes I can’t show up how I want because my health is taking the reins. I also know I don’t want to be alone when I am at my lowest, same as I don’t want to be alone when I’m at my highest, most excited self. I want community.

There's another reason 40 is landing differently for me. I'm an autistic speech-language pathologist, and I spend my days with kids and adults of every age who live with invisible disabilities. I work for a nonprofit that champions sensory inclusion, built on the simple idea that the world should be designed to hold people rather than test them. Part of my job is training people on the very tools that help with memory and word retrieval after a stroke. So there's a particular kind of comedy in the fact that I teach people how to find the words they've lost, then go home and stand in my kitchen hunting for the word "phone" while I am holding the phone.

If I'm going to grow older, and I am, I want to do it having actually lived. I want to grow older surrounded by the friends and family I love, in a loud, blended, three-kid house I would not trade for anything quieter. I want to grow older having finally stepped into this strange, aching, wonderful Meg-body and claimed her as my own while trying to look as fashionable and fabulous as the late great Iris Apfel. I want to grow older having learned, even a little, how to stay here in the today instead of stuck back in yesterday or bracing for tomorrow.

So no, this isn't a crisis. It's the year I stopped keeping what no longer belonged and started making room for what does.

Happy birthday to me. Go weed your garden.

Meg Raby is a mom, children's author of the My Brother Otto series, and Autistic residing in Salt Lake City where you can find her playing and working with neurodivergent children as a Speech Language Pathologist and friend, or writing and planning big things in the second booth at her local coffee shop that overlooks the Wasatch Mountains while sipping on her Americano. Meg believes the essence of life is to understand, love and welcome others (aka, to give a damn about humans).

Maybe you call your mom every couple of months to check in but it's basically radio silence beyond that. Or the only time you see your siblings and cousins is during the holidays, when you make the trek to visit but stay just long enough to squeeze in a piece of pie (and the obligatory small talk). And, OK, you're in the family group chat, but in the same way a houseplant sits in a room: the silent observer.

In short, your relationship with your family inhabits that weird, wide middle ground between close kin and no relationship to speak of at all. You didn't get disowned. You don't have a singular blowup story or defining "you're dead to me" argument that serves as the origin story for this strained dynamic. Trust, you have your reasons... yet you haven't cut your family off entirely (yet).

Sound familiar? I wouldn't be surprised. It seems as though more and more people lately describe going through this exact thing in their own lives. To the point that I've given it a nickname: "estrangement lite." Is this a legit pattern, though? I asked therapists to share their thoughts on the subject, along with advice for what to say when our kids ask why they hardly see Grandma anymore.

Yes, it’s a real thing. No, it’s not a diagnosis.

“I think ‘estrangement lite’ is actually a pretty relatable name for something many people have been doing for a long time: resizing a relationship they don’t necessarily want to end,” says Rebecca Boone, a licensed professional clinical counselor and clinical director at Woodlands Grove Recovery Campus. “It can look like calling Mom once a month instead of every day, staying in a family group chat but sharing very little, or seeing relatives on holidays without giving them much access to your personal life.”

“I think ‘estrangement lite’ is actually a pretty relatable name for something many people have been doing for a long time: resizing a relationship they don’t necessarily want to end,” says Rebecca Boone

In other words, the relationship still exists. It’s still there. You just sort of downsized it.

Becca Gregory, LICSW, a therapist at Flow Forward Counseling, points out that we tend to think of family boundaries as a yes-or-no question. As in, is this person in my life or not? The thing is, boundaries aren't so binary, she says, noting that they also include “where, when, how often, under what circumstances, and in what contexts you spend time with someone,” plus which topics you’ll discuss and how much personal information you hand over.

But no, you won’t find “estrangement lite” in any clinical manual, which Boone thinks is a positive thing. “There isn’t a diagnosis called ‘estrangement lite,’ and I actually think that matters because we shouldn’t automatically pathologize it,” she explains.

Therapists are more likely to discuss this dynamic in terms of limited contact, emotional distancing, boundary-setting, or changing patterns of family enmeshment. Colleen Canyon, LCSW, says there’s also a whole toolkit of low-contact behaviors: short visits, limits on phone time, and “gray rocking,” aka declining to take the bait when someone is emotionally charged.

“Sometimes reducing contact isn’t evidence that a relationship has failed,” says Boone. “It’s the adjustment that makes having any relationship possible.”

It happens in inches.

Is there a classic catalyst for going low contact? Something that therapists often see precipitate this type of pattern? Sort of the opposite. It's the lack of one.

“Sometimes there’s a clear moment of, ‘I can’t keep doing this,’ but often it happens by inches,” Boone says. “You stop calling as much because every conversation leaves you drained. You share less because personal information gets criticized, dismissed, or repeated to other relatives. Eventually someone realizes, ‘Oh, I’ve actually built a boundary without ever formally announcing one.”

Alyssa Kushner, LCSW, a licensed therapist and relationship expert, calls it “a slow recalibration of access and detachment,” and tells me she sees it often. “A person may still love their parent or sibling and still realize that frequent contact leaves them dysregulated, resentful, depleted, or pulled back into an old family role,” she explains.

As a result, they may start answering calls less frequently, sharing less, shortening visits, or adding more structure to when they engage. But while this shift sometimes happens subconsciously, it can definitely be by design too. Gregory says her clients with these kinds of boundaried relationships tend to get there “very deliberately, slowly, and with deep grief.”

It isn’t always permanent, either. Canyon sees clients choose low contact so they can work on themselves before wading back into troubled family waters.

“A person may still love their parent or sibling and still realize that frequent contact leaves them dysregulated, resentful, depleted, or pulled back into an old family role,” Alyssa Kushner explains

The family fixer is tired.

It’s tempting to try to psychoanalyze yourself or the people around you to figure out what “type” of person chooses to go low contact. Boone is cautious about making any such assumption, but she does pay attention to the role someone has historically played in their family.

“The peacekeeper, caretaker, eldest daughter, fixer, or person everyone calls during a crisis may reach adulthood and realize that closeness has always come with a job description,” she explains. “Sometimes low contact is less about rejecting the family and more about resigning from the role they were assigned within it.”

And there is some data to back up the eldest-daughter-is-over-it theory, at least between siblings. In a Bay Alarm Medical survey of 1,008 family caregivers, daughters were nearly three times as likely as sons to carry the hands-on caregiving load (46% vs. 17%). They also reported more resentment (52% vs. 40%) and were more willing to walk away from a sibling relationship over it (31% vs. 25%).

Canyon shared that she sees two other groups come up in the estrangement lite circle often: new parents trying to shield their own kids from toxic family dynamics, and LGBTQIA+ adults who weren’t accepted by their families.

What’s the upside? How about the fine print?

If this is a dynamic you’ve been mulling over, the appeal is probably pretty obvious: You get a little room to breathe without blowing up all your familial relationships.

“Low contact can create breathing room without requiring someone to make the emotionally enormous decision of completely ending a family relationship,” says Boone. Kushner adds that it can reduce conflict and actually help someone realign with their own needs and values.

Also appealing: It’s adjustable. “The great thing about boundaries is that they’re flexible for the person who creates them,” says Gregory. Meaning, if the family member changes, or the circumstances do, you can recalibrate anytime.

Now, about that fine print. The appeal of this kind of arrangement may be obvious, but it doesn’t mean you come out unscathed. “There can be a strange emotional tax to it, because the relationship is neither fully present nor fully gone,” says Boone. “You may get relief after skipping the family dinner and then feel guilty for being relieved.”

And since the door is still open, people are gonna keep walking right through it. “Because the relationship is not fully ended, the person may still deal with guilt, pressure, repeated boundary testing, escalation, or uncertainty about how much contact is ‘enough,’” Kushner says.

One therapist I reached out to worries that low contact could be code for low effort.

Abby Solomon, LMSW, a psychotherapist at A Good Place Therapy, sees the rise in pulling back from family as part of “a more disposable society where people are easily discounted,” she explains, likening it to the same impulse behind cancel culture or swiping people away on dating apps.

To her, that’s different from setting boundaries, which can, in fact, make family relationships better. Her suggestion? Work through the built-up resentment and dig deeper. Ask yourself the tough questions: How much do I value family? What am I willing to do to save these relationships?

Wherever you land, Boone offers a little permission to cut yourself some slack. “Two things can be true at once: ‘I love this person’ and ‘I function better when I have less access to them.’”

Grief is a natural byproduct.

Pretty much every expert who weighed in shared some version of the same thing: Grief is natural, even when the distance was your idea in the first place.

“Sometimes the grief is surprisingly complicated because you’re grieving someone who is still alive and still technically in your life,” says Boone. “Often people aren’t only grieving the relationship they have; they’re grieving the relationship they kept hoping it would become.”

“The great thing about boundaries is that they’re flexible for the person who creates them,” says Becca Gregory

Again, there’s a duplicity to it that’s tough to reckon with. “Even if someone decides their family member is safe enough to have some contact or closeness with, there is still real loss,” Gregory says. Kushner agrees, adding, “Relief and grief can exist at the same time.”

What do you say when your kids ask about Grandma?

If there’s one thing that we, as parents, know, it’s that kids are always going to ask the uncomfortable questions. And kids are intuitive; they pick up on things we haven’t explicitly shared. Coupled with their innate curiosity, that can lead to some awkward conversations.

At some point, yours will likely ask why they hardly see Grandma anymore, or why Aunt Lauren only comes to the house at Christmas. What can you say that won’t confuse your kid or give them any random emotional baggage to carry?

The consensus from the experts is to keep it short and honest… and free from your own baggage.

“Children need an explanation they can carry, not the entire family history,” says Boone. Sure, add developmentally appropriate context as they get older, but for now, “boundaries can be honest without turning children into witnesses for the prosecution.”

If you’re looking for an actual script to steal, here are a few offered up by the pros:

• “Grandma and I love each other, but we do better when we don’t spend a lot of time together.” — Boone
• “We’re seeing Grandma a little less right now because some relationships need more space sometimes, but that’s not your job to fix.” — Kushner
• “Spending less time together is what works best right now.” — Gregory

From there, Canyon says the important thing is just to reassure your kids that they did nothing wrong and that adult conflict is never their fault. And if they’re sad or they miss that person, don’t try to shoo those feelings away. Let them be. “You can validate that the child may love or miss the family member and still hold the boundary that you’ve chosen,” says Gregory.

Closer isn’t always better.

If you’re anything like me, you can’t seem to help hoarding guilt about the distance you’ve put between yourself and your family. In which case, Boone says it might help to rethink what a “good” family relationship can look like.

“I think we sometimes treat closeness as the only evidence of a successful family relationship,” she says. “But the healthiest distance between two people isn’t always the smallest distance possible. For some families, a little more space is precisely what allows kindness, connection, and even love to survive.”

Cooking is hard enough when you’re tired at the end of the day. Factoring in every family member’s preferences can make it even more taxing, especially when one or more of them swears nothing sounds good (and everything you suggest gets shot down too). Ugh! On nights like this, it’d be nice to open up a cookbook of dinners to make when everyone wants something different, but alas, no such collection exists. But instead of making everyone their own dinner like a literal line cook, what if you started with plain bases everyone could customize to their preferences? Here’s what I mean.

Air-Fryer Chicken Bites

Family Fresh Meals’ air-fryer chicken bites are simple and the food version of a blank slate. Toss them in buffalo sauce and put them over an Easy Mac cup for one kid. Throw them in a quesadilla with cheese and taco sauce for the other. Finally, toss them into a salad for your and your partner. You could make them boneless wing-style, too.

Turkey Meatballs

Much like the chicken bites, turkey meatballs like Budget Bytes’ are versatile. Throw them over pasta, into a rice bowl, or onto a sub. Everyone can choose their carb and sauce and go from there.

Blackened Chicken Cobb Salad

This Cobb salad from Family Fresh Meals happens to have a lot of components that can be made into other meals. Not only can everyone decide what goes into their own salad, they could also easily whip up a BLT, chicken burrito bowl, or a wrap from what you’ve already made.

Southwest Chicken Bowl

Again, we’re going for versatile building blocks here. Entirely Emmy’s southwest chicken bowls look delicious as is, but could easily pop these components into a tortilla as a burrito or quesadilla, over tortilla chips to make nachos. For the pickiest kids, pull out the chicken and pair it with ketchup, fruit, and corn chips on the side.

Sweet Potato Beef Bowl

This recipe is Averie Cooks’ take on the viral sweet potato, cottage cheese, and ground beef bowls that were all over our social media feeds earlier this year. Healthy bowl dinner recipes are a great way to feel like you’re eating grown-up meals while also being able to separate the ingredients for kids who maybe aren’t that into avocado yet.

Easy Dutch Oven Shredded Chicken

Is there anything more versatile than shredded chicken? Toss it in barbecue sauce for sandwiches, put it in a wrap, or throw it over mashed potatoes with gravy — it’s good any which way, and everyone can get what they want out of it. Entirely Emmy’s recipe will teach you a trick for keeping it super moist and tender.

Homemade Pizza

Damn Delicious’ recipe will teach you how to make delicious homemade pizza dough. Whether you follow it or buy dough from the grocery store, pizza is a great way to make enough food for the whole family while allowing everyone to customize their half of the pie. White mushroom pizza for me, zucchini corn pizza for you, plain cheese for them...

Taco Potatoes

If the plan is taco potatoes a la Princess Pinky Girl’s recipe, then great — they look delish. You could also obviously pivot to tacos or baked potatoes loaded with whatever is in the fridge, depending on your family’s whims today.

An Easy Charcuterie Board

If you’re going to make something everyone likes, why cook anything at all? Compile a massive charcuterie board of fruit, veggies, cheeses, whatever proteins you have lying around, and various chips, crackers, and spreads. Dude That Cookz’ guide to making a charcuterie board at home will give you lots of ideas for jazzing up what’s already in your fridge.

Is it reasonable to make everyone their own dinner every night? No. But when you’re dealing with chronically different palates, maybe these dinner ideas will help you plan meals that leave everyone satisfied (or at least not starving).