77 Best Dragon Jokes And Puns For Kids-In-Shining-Armor

77 Fiery And Funny Dragon Jokes For Kids-In-Shining-Armor

September 28, 2020 Updated April 8, 2021

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We don’t know about you, but we love to laugh. And our kids? They love laughing even more. Everything is funny when you’re a kiddo. That’s probably why all that super gross bathroom humor always brings about the giggle fits. But, the fart jokes aren’t the only ones that make them laugh. Our kids devour dino jokes. When special holidays or their favorite seasons roll around, they love those jokes, too. I mean, who wouldn’t love a good ghost or pumpkin joke, right?

If you have a dino-obsessed kid or a Harry Potter wizard wannabe in your family, you’re probably all too familiar with dragons, as well. And who isn’t enthralled by the magic and myth of the humongous fire breathing lizard-like creature? Dragons are as ancient as time and to this day children are still mystified and enamored by these majestic beasts. Some dream of riding one while others wish to be one. No matter the wish in your little one’s heart this, of course, means that dragon jokes might sometimes be in order. These dragon jokes were all specially pulled and curated with your kiddos in mind. That means nothing too gross or even PG-13. Share them as you see fit.

Looking for more fantastic content? Check out our mermaid quotesHarry Potter jokesfantasy names, and more. 

  1. What’s a hungry dragon’s favorite day of the week?
    Chewsday.
  2. What do the best dancing dragons train to compete in?
    A talon show.
  3. My dragon is asleep.
    He’s dragoff.
  4. Why are dragons so amazing at making music?
    They really know their scales.
  5. Why do dragons sleep during the day?
    So they can fight knights!
  6. I want to make a really long, bad lizard joke…
    But I don’t want to let it dragon.
  7. How can you tell how much a dragon weighs?
    Well, they come with scales.
  8. What do you get when you kiss a dragon on Valentine’s Day?
    Third degree burns on your lips.
  9. What do you do with a green dragon?
    Wait until it ripens!
  10. What type of stories and folktales are dragons famous for?
    Long tales.
  11. Why can’t dragons play ice hockey?
    If they breathe fire, the ice melts.
  12. What do you call a dragon who is fantastic at juggling?
    Talon-ted.
  13. What does a dragon eat for a snack?
    Firecrackers
  14. Which hockey team do dragons support?
    The Red Wings.
  15. What sound do you hear when dragons eat spicy salsa?
    A fire alarm
  16. How do dragons make holiday plans?
    They don’t, they just wing it.
  17. Why did the chef feed the dragon spicy salsa?
    She needed to barbeque some chicken.
  18. Why did the dragon hate to fight knights and swordsmen?
    He was tired of tinned food.
  19. What’s the most stressful thing about being a dragon?
    Trying to blow out the candles on your birthday cake.
  20. How do you ruin a dragon’s birthday party?
    Tell him to blow out the candles on his cake.
  21. What’s big and scaley and bounces?
    A dragon on a trampoline
  22. What happens if you kiss a dragon?
    You get burnt lips.
  23. Why are dragons good storytellers?
    They all have tails.
  24. What’s the difference between a car and a dragon?
    A car only has one horn.
  25. What does a dragon like to eat at a restaurant?
    Hot wings.
  26. What eats more tacos than one dragon?
    Two dragons
  27. Why did the dinosaurs live longer than the dragons?
    Because they didn’t smoke.
  28. What time is it when a dragon decides to sit on your car?
    Time to get a new car!
  29. Why do dwarves hunt dragons in the morning?
    Because the early beard gets the worm
  30. What do you get when you cross a dragon with a smelly skunk?
    I have no idea, but please don’t make it angry.
  31. Why can’t dragons play ice hockey?
    If they breathe fire, the ice melts.
  32. Why was the dragon always invited to barbecue Sundays?
    So he could fire up the grill
  33. What’s the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
    One is eight nights while the other ate knights.
  34. How did the female dragon win the beauty contest?
    She was the beast of the show!
  35. Which side of a dragon has the most scales?
    The outside!
  36. Why were dragons called rappers during ancient times?
    Because they used to spit fire.
  37. Where did knights learn to kill dragons?
    At knight school!
  38. What has four legs, four wings, and a tail?
    A dragon with spare parts.
  39. Two dragons walk into a bar. One says to the other “It’s hot in here”
    The other replies “shut your mouth”
  40. How many dragons does it take to change a light bulb?
    Zero. They don’t have thumbs to change light bulbs, but they’re great at lighting candles.
  41. What do you call an angry dragon?
    An earthquake.
  42. Why was the dragon wearing green sneakers?
    Her red ones were in the wash.
  43. What happens when a dragon gets bored of strip steaks?
    Flaming Yawn
  44. What’s the difference between a dragon and a piece of paper?
    For starters, you can’t make a paper airplane out of a dragon.
  45. Why do dragons like knights?
    They come with their own pans.
  46. How do you get four dragons into a car?
    Two in the front, two in the back.
  47. What’s the difference between a musical choir of angels and a flight of dragons?
    The horn section.
  48. What do you call Dragon with no silver?
    A dron
  49. Why did the dragon breathe on a map of the earth?
    Because he wanted to set the world on fire.
  50. What was the dragon doing on the motorway?
    About 30 miles per hour.
  51. A dragon would never explode.
    But a dino might
  52. What sport do dragons end up playing when they try to play hockey?
    Water polo.
  53. What is a dragon’s favorite food?
    Swiss Charred.
  54. What ritual do dragons perform right before big games?
    They get fired up.
  55. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Thumping.
    Thumping who?
    Thumping tells me there’s a dragon on the loose.
  56. Why are dragons so wrinkly?
    Well, have you ever tried ironing one?
  57. How many Super Saiyans does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: FIND OUT NEXT TIME, ON DRAGONBALL Z!
  58. What happens when you try to crossbreed a turtle and a dragon?
    You get a crushed turtle.
  59. How do you get dragon milk?
    Find a cow with no back legs
  60. I want to make a really long, bad lizard joke…
    But I don’t want to let it dragon.
  61. Why do dwarves hunt dragons in the morning?
    Because the early beard gets the wyrm
  62. Why do dragons make good accountants?
    The economies of scale
  63. I wanted to change my name to Dragon Ball Z…
    My friend said, “Wow, that’s a lot of papers you have to fill out!”
    I said “Yeah, this isn’t even my final form!”
  64. How do you kill the ender dragon
    You ender
  65. You think birds are scary?
    Imagine Dragons.
  66. Why do interns make the best Dungeons and Dragons players?
    They do it for the experience.
  67. Why are dragons such good storytellers?
    Because they have long tails
  68. What do you get when you cross a dragon with a unicorn?
    A magical dragicorn.
  69. Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    Dragon.
    Dragon who?
    Dragon today and could use a nap.
  70. Knock, knock!
    Who’s there?
    Dragon!
    Dragon who?
    Dragon your feet again?
  71. Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?
    It’ll melt your heart.
  72. Why did the pre-pubescent dragon lose the rap battle?
    He couldn’t yet spit hot fire.
  73. What is the difference between St George and Santa’s reindeer? One slays a dragon, the others are dragging a sleigh.
  74. I spotted a lizard on a portable toilet. I suspect it was a commode-o-dragon.
  75. I’m reading a book about a short ballerina. The girl with the dragging tutu.
  76. Why is easy to work out the weight of a dragon? They come with scales.
  77. Q: Why did the dragon stop fighting with knights?
    A: He was tired of canned food…