Bethany Joy Lenz didn’t just write The Betrayal of Cora Wexford. That art on the cover? She painted it, which feels especially fitting for a novel about a woman who is an artist in that very medium. Lenz is a longtime hobby painter (she does it for the joy of “slapping around on a canvas”), not a portraitist of the dead like her heroine, but she says the process gave her a window into Cora’s head: getting lost in meticulous work, where every stroke matters.

That attention to detail runs through the whole book, Lenz’s first novel after her bestselling memoir Dinner for Vampires. Set in 1888 London as Jack the Ripper terrorizes Whitechapel, it follows Cora, 38, single, childless, and running from her past, as she’s commissioned to paint the forgotten women whose deaths the city keeps shrugging off. All the while, her own relationship with a charming stranger named Miles starts to hint that darkness could be closer to her door than she even imagined. The Ripper may dominate the headlines, but Lenz is just as interested in the unspoken violence happening in living rooms everywhere, and in the people who look the other way.

When Scary Mommy caught up with the One Tree Hill alum, she opened up about everything from gaslighting and the psychology of looking away to why 45 feels like the most settled she’s ever been.

Scary Mommy: Which came first, Cora or the Ripper? How did you land on telling the stories of these "invisible" women against the backdrop of Ripper lore?

Bethany Joy Lenz: Cora was first, absolutely. The only reason I set it in Victorian times is because every time I thought about the story, that's the only way it would manifest itself in my brain. Probably because one of my favorite suspense films is Gaslight with Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer. So I wanted to set something in that world that maybe is like a companion to Gaslight. It's not the same story, it's not derivative, but it lives in that world and there are a lot of similar notes and themes. Once I realized that's where I wanted to set it, I actually picked 1888 because I wanted it to be around the World's Fair and the construction of the Eiffel Tower. Then I realized there's no way I could set a story in London in 1888 that's a suspense and not talk about Jack the Ripper.

I had to recalibrate and then realized, actually, I think this is perfect — I can parallel the heightened, feverish fear that everyone was experiencing around being a potential victim of physical violence while psychological violence was happening in living rooms everywhere, all over London. I mean all over the world, really, but for the purposes of this story, I just wanted to look at why is that so? Why is everyone wrapped up in the fear and fascination with just the physical violence when we're made up of so much more as human beings, and why doesn't the psychological violence and emotional violence get the attention that it deserves?

SM: Cora toes the line between authenticity and survival, which is what most women did then. How much of that tension felt distinctly Victorian to you, and how much kind of bleeds over into 2026?

BJL: You know what's funny is I thought that I was going to be discovering so many things that shocked me that were so different. They're not. I really thought, like, OK, so maybe we're not institutionalized now because we are experiencing fluctuations of menopause. Maybe we're not shut up behind closed doors because we might be eccentric or forced to be looked down on by society if we choose not to have children or be unmarried... I just don't think much has changed, unfortunately. So the more that I wrote, the more I researched, the more I was like, Oh, we're still here.

I think that's why I was also drawn to putting this in a time period that wasn't modern, so that it didn't feel threatening for readers to feel like it's too close to home. I think as they read, they're going to realize that it is close to home. I'm hoping that people will discover that as they're going — that things maybe have not changed as much as we would like to think that they have. But the thing is, it's timeless. These issues have existed for as long as we can imagine, and that's important to realize and remember.

SM: You've described what happens to Cora as a kind of murder in itself. And while this is a big genre leap from your memoir, Dinner for Vampires, those same traces of manipulation surface. Was fiction freeing in a way? How did it feel different for you?

BJL: It felt different writing fiction in the sense that context could be adjusted. I could take things and put them anywhere and any time and really craft the most succinct version of an amalgam of experiences that I've had, that women I know have had, and be able to tie it all together because the truth is these narcissistic personalities are so unoriginal ... It's funny because they believe that they're the most original, wonderful person that's ever existed. And they're so special that they're the most basic and beige and uninteresting people that have ever existed because they don't exist. They don't have a person within themselves to exist as.

SM: One thing that frustrated me most while reading, because I understood where Cora was coming from, was how much truth was sitting right in front of everyone and they just refused to see it. That feeling of am I crazy? really got to me. I feel like that a lot these days. Why was it important that the danger wasn't just Miles, but a whole community looking away?

BJL: Thank you for mentioning that. I think you're right; it is very prevalent today. And what I've learned from being around this personality type for so many years of my life and seeing how the community tends to respond to the victim and the perpetrator, I think human nature just never changes, and we're always looking for the low-hanging fruit and the easy way out. The easiest thing to do is believe the person who is asking the least of you, which is always going to be the abuser or the narcissist in this scenario.

It's hard to ask people to consider that they were wrong and that they got something so wrong — that they could believe that there's this person in their community who is wearing a mask and presenting something completely false to everyone and legitimately fooling everyone, and to think that I got fooled.

It sends people into a whole well of introspection. That's the requirement in order to decide to believe a victim. You have to believe that you also have been hoodwinked, essentially, and understand that. That's really hard on the ego. And I don't mean to say it from a place of feeling judgmental because I've been in that situation too. I've been asked to believe something that I didn't see evidence for when I was much younger. I was just like, "Look, he's never been mean to me. I don't know. I don't want to get in the middle of it." And I regret it, but I had my own life. I was busy. I didn't know. So I'm hoping that this will help make people aware and help people feel safe to go ahead and explore those parts of themselves because it's OK to grow.

SM: Absolutely. We’ll switch to something a little lighter now: If we’re dream casting, who plays everyone if this becomes a series? You were my Cora, btw.

BJL: Oh my gosh. Yes, I would love to play Cora in some sort of live version of it, whether it was TV or theater. I mean, I would love to see this on Broadway with a super cool rock soundtrack like Florence + The Machine. And I've recently been listening to some Agnes Obel, Lizzy McAlpine, Tame Impala. Let's just pile it all in there, make a super cool, dark, gothic, Victorian musical.

Dreamcast, I really haven't gone there in my brain. I guess I kept kind of picturing in my mind ... she's a redheaded actress... She's the redhead in The Forsytes, the modern version of it, not the Damian Lewis version. I think of her as Helen in my brain.

I feel like Miles could go so many different ways. Gosh, if Mads Mikkelsen was 35, I'd be up for that. I’d love to play Cora. Is Pedro Pascal Armand? I don't know. We need some super hunky Arabic man for Armand.

SM: Speaking of new chapters, One Tree Hill just turned 23. It’s like a baby that’s gone off to college and graduated. After Drama Queens and your memoir, on the other side of it all, it feels like you’ve come to this place where there is just so much happiness. You turned 45 this year and just seem so much like yourself. Is that an accurate read?

BJL: Absolutely. I feel so much more settled than I have in years. There's just a lot of stability in my life in a way that is so beautiful and comforting. And whether I'm traveling or wherever I'm living or whatever I'm doing, I think it's the sense of self-acceptance and self-forgiveness and compassion and all those things that we just work really hard to achieve within ourselves, and finding that connection for me with God and my faith and just feeling like I don't have all the answers and that's OK.

When I was younger, I felt like I needed all the answers in order to feel safe and secure. And I think there's actually a lot more comfort now in not knowing exactly all the things and being OK with it, just exploring and listening and learning. It's better.

This interview has been lightly edited for length and clarity.

“Do you have any more kids or just the one?” It’s a question I’ve been asked countless times by fellow parents at various birthday parties or school pickups while we stand around watching our kiddos play. And my answer is always the same: “No, it’s just my son. He’s an only child.” The question has always seemed innocent enough and without any detectable judgment. But there’s just something about that phrase “just the one” that’s always rubbed me the wrong way. As if one, by itself, isn’t enough or less than what it should be.

As an only child myself, I never thought of it as anything to be ashamed of. But now that I’m a mom, I'm much more aware of the stigma surrounding the “one-and-done” mentality. No one is ever directly rude or insensitive, but subtle remarks like “just the one” or assurances that “there’s still time” to have another suggest my life — and my child’s life — are lacking in some way. It’s as if to say our family isn’t whole just the way we are.

It can feel a little isolating at times. In fact, there have been moments when I’ve hesitated to open up to other moms about my own parenting struggles or concerns because I only have one kid, whereas many of them have multiple. I’ve found myself wondering, How can my problems compare when I’m dealing with one kiddo and they’re juggling two or three or even four? It can make me feel like I don’t have a right to complain or vent about my child’s latest tantrum because they are dealing with those things on a larger scale than I am.

It’s worth noting that no parent has ever said any of this to me directly. But it’s an underlying worry that always creeps into the back of my mind. In many ways, society (and social media, a viral extension of society) has conditioned me to think that way. If you don’t have any kids, you’re made to think your life is incomplete. If you have one kid, you’re encouraged to give them a sibling or they’ll be lonely. It feels like it’s never enough. But I’m done allowing myself to feel that way. It ends now.

These days, I keep reminding myself that I have just as much of a right to vent as parents of multiple kids. It's not a competition, and parental stress is valid regardless of how many kids you have. Full stop.

That’s not to say that I don’t appreciate the added struggles and responsibilities that come with having more than one child. Taking family trips, juggling sports schedules and school drop-offs, not to mention dealing with a revolving door of colds and other ailments, are challenging enough with one kid, let alone multiples. But you never know what someone might be going through that could make caring for one kid much harder than it looks.

One glaring example that comes to mind is the whole concept of having a “village” to lean on in times of need. Many parents with multiple kids might have grandparents or extended family nearby who can help at a moment’s notice, while some parents with one child might not have any loved ones nearby. Support (or lack thereof) can make a huge difference when it comes to caring for little ones. And, of course, you have no idea what each parent is going through emotionally, physically, or even financially, which can all contribute to a rise in stress levels, regardless of how many children you have.

But honestly, even if you do have a ton of family close by who are ready and willing to help, that shouldn’t automatically mean you need to have more kids. Parents of only children shouldn’t need to explain themselves to anyone or be made to feel like they are doing something wrong. Every family, both big and small, deserves to take up space in the world.

Being a parent can be the most rewarding thing in the world. But it’s also a full-time job with zero breaks and very little appreciation given in return. Every mom and dad is a superhero in their own way and deserves the right to complain or feel all the feelings. I don’t want to take any credit away from parents with multiple children. I simply want to feel like my own struggles and grievances deserve a seat at the table too.

Kelly Schremph is an entertainment and lifestyle writer with bylines at Us Weekly, Refinery29, Bustle, Romper, Scary Mommy, and more. She lives in California with her husband, their son, Chris, and their yellow lab, Luna, who still acts very much like a puppy. When Kelly isn’t watching TV (or writing about it), she’s usually chasing after one of them.

Ok sure, technically these are maternity lounge wear brands, but let’s be honest, even if your kid is 10, you still have a few stragglers in your closet. These brands in particular are just so comfortable, so roomy, so... enjoyable to exist in, you hold onto it well after the immediate postpartum time. Here are some of the best of the best.

Vote for your favorite maternity lounge wear brand daily until noon ET on Wednesday, November 18.

Photos Courtesy of Bumpsuit, Dudley Stephens, Nom Maternity

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Nursing bras are honestly useful even if you don’t choose to breastfeed. They’re always super comfortable, lined and make a great throw-on-and-go bra for those early (and not so early) postpartum days. These options from some beloved brands do the trick: ease of use, comfort and, sure, looks. Here are some of Scary Mommy’s faves.

Vote for your favorite nursing bra brand daily until noon ET on Wednesday, November 18.

Photos Courtesy of Embrace, Hatch, Kindred Bravely, Larken, Lunnie, Momcozy, Quince, Thirdlove, Bodily, Bravado Designs, Cake Maternity

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Diaper bags have come a long way since some of us had babies. These days they come in chic, parent-first designs that make it infinitely easier to grab whatever you (or baby) needs on the go. They come in all kinds of lovely patterns and colors, and make it so we’re all a little less embarrassed to be lugging it all over the place. Here are some of the chicest, most innovative bags around.

Vote for your favorite diaper brag brand daily until noon ET on Wednesday, November 18.

Photos Courtesy of No Reception Club, Parker Baby Co., STATE Bags, Storq, Zombie Queen, BÉIS, Parker Baby Co., Skip Hop/Carter's

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One of the most important purchases a parent-to-be makes is the baby monitor. You’ll see, you live and die by that monitor. And the technology and usability has rapidly changed over the years. The ones featured here are some state-of-the-art stuff, truly. Here are some of the most user-friendly, technologically sound options out there.

Vote for your favorite baby monitor brand daily until noon ET on Wednesday, November 18.

Photos Courtesy of Anker eufy, Bebcare Baby, Momcozy, Owlet, VTech

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Diapers are one of those baby essentials that people have big feelings about. And with good reason: as a new parent, you spend an inordinate amount of time changing them, smelling them, thinking about packing extras of them. It’s no wonder, then, that there are some clear winners of the lot. Here are some of the best of the best.

Vote for your favorite baby diaper brand daily until noon ET on Wednesday, November 18.

Photos Courtesy of Coterie, Dyper, Freestyle, The Honest Company, Huggies®, Kudos, HealthyBaby, Millie Moon, Pampers, Parasol, Pura, Rascals

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Gen Z this and Gen Alpha that — it’s easy to look at younger generations and judge the things about them we don’t understand. This is especially true when we observe kids’ and teens’ relationships with their devices. But a new study, the Teens and Screens Report from the Center for Scholars & Storytellers at UCLA, reveals that younger generations don’t feel much different about technology and the media they consume than we do.

Here’s what talking to 1,500 adolescents about what they want in their entertainment content illuminated for researchers, from AI hesitancy to a desire for more stories centering platonic relationships.

About The Teens & Screens Report

Every year, the Center for Scholars & Storytellers (CSS) at UCLA performs a study to find out what tweens and teens want to see in the TV shows, movies, and media made for and about them. Researchers interviewed more than 1,500 adolescents ages 10-24 “about their perceptions, opinions, and beliefs regarding popular media, including TV shows, movies, video games, AI, and social media,” a press release about the report reads.

The high-level takeaway: While there are more and more ways to consume stories today, teens still want to consume “traditional” media. However, they want more diverse perspectives in their TV show and movie options.

A “story” isn’t just a movie or TV show.

Among Gen Xers and Millennials, a “story” typically means a TV show or a movie. For the surveyed adolescents, YouTube videos, video games, and 30-second videos also count as storytelling platforms.

“YouTube ranked as the top medium for storytelling, with nearly four out of five respondents saying that short-form videos can tell a story. TV shows, movies, and video games followed closely behind. TikTok scored the highest among social media platforms,” the press release reads.

They share our feelings about AI in media.

We tend to think of kids and teens as hapless would-be victims of AI (no one would willingly watch brain rot, right?). But the same optimism and fear adults seem to feel about the technology were also present among the study group. Participants’ ages tended to be the best predictor of how they felt about AI.

Forty-four percent of 10- to 13-year-olds described AI-generated programs as “fascinating,” while only about 10% used the word “doom” in their description (ominous). That split was completely reversed in the 19-year-old group, where doom was the No. 1 feeling participants had about AI (27.4% of them).

Live-action is their preferred medium.

In contrast to last year’s results, live-action content took the top spot this year as the preferred choice for adolescent and young adult audiences compared to animation (58% to 42%). In a world where AI is beginning to touch everything, we’re all craving things we know are real.

Influencers are not everything.

Sure, some kids do have their favorites, but when it comes to quality content and storytelling, the youth are not looking to the Charlie D’Amelios and Salish Matters of the world. They want real actors on their screens (just maybe not A-listers they’ve already seen a thousand times).

Very few participants said they would cast an influencer in a movie or TV show; 40% said they would rather cast an unknown actor over anyone else. Whether this is because they like the idea of young people being given the opportunity to break into the industry or they want fresh faces from more diverse backgrounds, they were loud and clear about this preference.

More (and more accurate) representation, please.

According to the CSS’s report, only 2.8% of speaking or named characters in the top 100 movies of 2025 had a disability. Younger audiences say that’s simply not enough — they “overwhelmingly” want to see more neurodivergent characters in their media, the study found.

“A whopping 55 percent of all adolescents and young adults surveyed feel this way, with that percentage increasing to well into the 70s among youth who identify as LGBTGIA+ or have a disability themselves,” says the report. “Additionally, only 22.7% of respondents believe that current media portrayals of neurodivergence ‘ring true to real life’ most of the time.”

Less romance, more friendship.

Speaking of real-life relatability, for the fourth year of the report in a row, kids and teens have declared they want to see more friendship and less romance in their stories.

Participants were asked this question: “What specific topics would you like to see in the TV shows and/or movies you watch?” The top three responses, in order, were:

1. “Hopeful, uplifting stories with people beating the odds”
2. “Friendships and social groups”
3. “People with lives like mine”

Nearly 58% of participants also said they want to see more representation of platonic friendships in their media, with 52% feeling that romantic relationships are far more central to the lives of fictional characters than they are for real people their age. Those respondents also said they want to see people in different-gender friendships who simply prioritize their platonic relationship rather than it turning into a romantic one.

And in what feels like a win for parents, teens in this age group ranked wanting to see more drugs, alcohol, and drinking dead last.

I am “such a mom,” the comic foil in every situation, like Brooke in The Five Star Weekend or really any next door neighbor in any ‘90s-era sitcom. Some people can’t stand this mom which means they probably can’t stand me, an extroverted, excited, earnest mom trying too hard and fumbling around for a good sun hat. I have no fewer than four sun hats and, much like Brooke, would absolutely overpack for a weekend in Nantucket if I was ever invited to Nantucket. The problem is I’m not sure if I would be invited to Nantucket by a cool group of moms. I think I would get on their nerves.

I have grown accustomed to eye rolls fully visible in my presence, affectionate smirks when I mention my Christmas party theme (pajamas around the bonfire! Caroling around the piano!) in July. I send out group texts with titles like “Girls’ Weekend #4” or “Adult Pumpkin Carving??” or “Group Choir!” I am, at times, a human exclamation point. I have, at times, hated everything about myself for being this person. My need to organize, to include, to make fun happen for every single person around me has felt like a tic I would desperately love to get under control. For years I wanted to be able to bake cookies without suggesting a bake sale fundraiser or start wondering if I should add a cookie cupboard to the end of my driveway. I’ve wished I could watch a movie without asking my friends if we should consider a film club where we just watch romantic comedies.

My friends — who, I promise, are kind and true and do, in fact, have my best wishes at heart — have wished I was different too. I’ve been secretly and then openly mortified to hear other friends secretly and then openly mocking me. “Jen and her little parties,” that kind of thing. I’ve pretended to laugh as I passed around a charcuterie board and pretended that it didn’t embarrass me to be seen as this kind of caricature, a human meme. I tried to take up less space when I worried I was too much, too present, too excited to take the wheel.

I took a break from being me for about three months, an eternity for me. No plans for the weekend, no plans for a Wednesday, no plans for a rainy Sunday afternoon when I would normally ask a few girlfriends over to play Rummikub and eat various dips. It felt like I was grounding myself from my life; it gave me flashbacks to being a grounded 16-year-old finding out the best party ever happened on a Friday when I was alone in my room. During that break, I started to plan too many things for myself: Volunteering in a local little theater where I then decided I should write a one-woman show about being a single mom and maybe I could sell fun T-shirts as merch and have a macaroni and cheese break halfway through the show. Made by me.

I broke my fast. I became me again but what’s more, my little break made me realize this part of me is kind of great. I realized my friends and I did nothing for three months. Everyone just hibernated, waiting for me to break my fast and become a cheerleader again.

Much like John Candy in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, I like me. And what’s more, other people like me too. My friends noticed that I wasn’t arranging things. They got bored. They reached out to make sure I was okay. When I broke my fast with sunset pizza and wine at the beach, everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

The truth is, they need me. The truth is, being an organizer is who I am. The truth is, no one really wants me to change.

Least of all, me.

Jen McGuire is a contributing writer for Romper and Scary Mommy. She lives in Canada with four boys and teaches life writing workshops where someone cries in every class. When she is not traveling as often as possible, she’s trying to organize pie parties and outdoor karaoke with her neighbors. She will sing Cher’s “If I Could Turn Back Time” at least once, but she’s open to requests.

I keep reading about fall resets and, well, sure... I want one. Who doesn’t, really? A fall reset is a chance to turn a metaphorical fresh page on your personal story without any of that New-Year’s-Resolution pressure. But as a busy mom, I already feel like I’m failing at this. With one kid settled at college and another finally back in the back-to-school routine, I blinked and somehow September came and went. The calendar changed, the weather cooled, and I kept hitting reset on my reset. It’s not exactly an auspicious start!

While a fall reset sounds great in theory, in reality, it can be hard to make it happen amid chaotic mornings, after-school practices, homework, tutoring sessions, weekend sports events, making dinner, keeping a home clean, and, oh yeah, my own work. Suddenly, something that should be a fresh little personal improvement project is feeling big and weighty and like just one more item on my endless to-do list. So for help, I turned to Dr. Rachel Goldman, a New York City-based clinical psychologist, author of When Life Happens: The Mindset Shift You Need to Manage Stress, Build Confidence, and Break Free, and a mom of two herself.

“A fall reset is so much more realistic than New Year's resolutions because transitions are already happening around us,” Dr. Rachel, as she’s known, tells me. “January is overwhelming because there's just so much pressure to make a New Year's resolution, but fall is natural. Everybody is going back to school, the season is changing… it's just a natural time to be thinking about a refresh or reset.”

Start Small

The key to a successful reset, Dr. Rachel continues, is to keep your goals in perspective. “I think people think a reset means that you have to overhaul your whole life,” she says, “and I always like to take it back and pause, and ask, ‘What do I need or want out of this season? And then identify one thing.’”

Maybe you want a consistent bedtime. Maybe you want to add movement into your day. Maybe you want family dinners to actually happen more nights than not. But landing on one small tweak to your current routine is more approachable and realistic than thinking you're going to refresh your whole life — “because that tends to work for like a week, right?” she says. (It’s like she knows us!)

For me, landing on two reset “wish list” items has made this undertaking feel so much more doable. I realized that part of what’s been holding me back is that I couldn’t even put my finger on exactly what I wanted to change after a difficult summer. So, my two things are committing to a renewed focus on work after a purposeful pause, and building more opportunities for joy and connection into my days.

Starting small can also mean baby-stepping your way into your goal, Dr. Rachel says. If you want to build a daily meditation practice but you’re starting from scratch, block off 10 minutes to start, not an hour. If you want to begin journaling, start by writing just a few thoughts a day in your notes app, not setting a 20-minute writing goal from the get-go. My goal of fostering more connection might look like sending at least one "thinking of you!” message to a friend, or aiming to schedule one coffee meet-up a week.

Visualize It

Dr. Rachel also recommends visualizing what you want your season to look like. It’s an exercise she does with clients, asking them to close their eyes and imagine a magic wand just gave them the season they want. She then asks them to describe what they’re seeing, smelling, and feeling.

Verbalizing what the result of your reset goal looks like in your real life can help you clarify just what, exactly, you need to do. Did you picture an idyllic morning walk with a friend and smell the fresh air, hear the conversation, and taste the coffee you’re sipping as you stroll? Having that strong image in mind can help you actually get it on the calendar and make it happen.

Prioritize It

Of course, it’s that last part (the action) that’s critical. “I can’t take credit for this quote, but I always say that a goal without a plan is just a wish,” Dr. Rachel says. “So if you want to hit the reset button and you have a goal, you have to put the plan in place.”

If you want more free time, that might mean actively delegating things off of your to-do list, rather than adding something in. If your goal is to build movement or connection into your day, block off an hour on your calendar for a walk or a class, or coffee with a friend.

Be Flexible

Finally, remember that a reset goal — even one you’ve visualized, planned, and scheduled — isn't set in stone. It’s totally fine to reevaluate and tweak as you go along, Dr. Rachel says. So if your reset goal is working for you and starting to become a habit, it might be a good time to add another. If not, take a moment to rethink your reset and change course (or just give yourself a break) without guilt.

“The most sustainable reset is actually being flexible enough to adjust when life happens,” Dr. Rachel says. “Maybe you intended to go to the gym, but you're not feeling well. Or maybe your kid is home sick, or you had a really busy week. If your reset goal becomes too rigid, that can become problematic. So remaining flexible and kind to yourself is really important.”

It’s become a ritual for me: Every October, without fail, I put on You’ve Got Mail. It’s almost a seasonal reflex, like buying every pumpkin-spice-flavored product at Trader Joe’s. Between Kathleen Kelly’s quaint little bookshop and Joe Fox’s bouquet of newly sharpened pencils, it makes me sink right into the season. It’s the cinematic equivalent of a cable-knit sweater.

But the fall is long, and a girl cannot sustain herself on one movie alone (she’s tried, trust me). So, for those of us who’ve already knocked out our annual rewatch (or two, or three), here are a bunch of other cozy fall movies to snuggle up with. From the Nora Ephron extended universe and bookish period pieces to the movies that somehow make Thanksgiving chaos look like something you actually want to revisit each year, these cozy fall movies have you covered.

If You Want More Meg Ryan & Nora Ephron

The Shop Around the Corner (1940)

The OG! You’ve Got Mail is a remake of this Ernst Lubitsch classic, with Jimmy Stewart and Margaret Sullavan as bickering coworkers in a Budapest shop who are (you guessed it) secretly each other’s anonymous pen pals.

When Harry Met Sally (1989)

Nora Ephron wrote it, and Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal made it iconic. I mean, the Central Park autumn montage?! The cutesy “Waiter, there is too much pepper on my paprikash” moment. Cozycore all the way. Plus, you get the salad scene (yes, yes, yes) and a great “can men and women really just be friends” debate built in.

Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

Ah, let’s travel back in time to the first Hanks-Ryan pairing under Ephron’s direction. Sure, this is technically more of a winter-into-Valentine’s watch, but I’d argue it still belongs in any comfort rotation that includes You’ve Got Mail.

Julie & Julia (2009)

Ephron’s final film on the list pairs Meryl Streep in top form as Julia Child with Amy Adams, also in top form, as a blogger cooking her way through Mastering the Art of French Cooking. Did I mention Stanley Tucci plays Julia’s beloved husband Paul? Perfection. Just watch it with snacks or you’ll be making boeuf bourguignon at 10 p.m.

Kate & Leopold (2001)

Not Ephron, but pure peak-Meg: She plays a stressed-out New York marketing exec who, oopsie, falls for a 19th-century duke (played by Hugh Jackman, in waistcoats) who’s tumbled through time. Is it ridiculous? Obviously. Is it delightful? Also obviously.

If You Want Something Bookish

Little Women (2019)

Both versions work, but I really enjoyed Greta Gerwig’s version. It’s basically a warm hug in a bonnet! It’s got Saoirse Ronan as Jo, Emma Watson as Meg, Florence Pugh as Amy, Eliza Scanlen as Beth, Laura Dern as Marmee, Meryl Streep as Aunt March, and enough Massachusetts autumn to make you want to up and move to Concord.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (2018)

Lily James plays a writer in post-WWII London who starts corresponding with a quirky book club on a tiny English Channel Island as she pursues a new book idea. She ends up bonding deeply with the islanders... and learning a lot about, well, a lot along the way.

Pride & Prejudice (2005)

Misty fields. Long coats. The hand flex. You know what I’m talking about. Keira Knightley and Matthew Macfadyen made this moody-weather Austen adaptation the one to beat.

Mona Lisa Smile (2003)

Some may argue this is at times too sad to be a cozy movie, but who made that rule? I think sadness and coziness can be two sides of the same coin. Here, Julia Roberts plays a progressive art history professor at 1950s Wellesley, with Julia Stiles, Kristen Dunst, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Ginnifer Goodwin as her students. It’s got peak fall academia vibes thanks to plenty of plaid skirts, brick buildings, and falling leaves.

If You Want Thanksgiving Chaos

Soul Food (1997)

For 40 years, Big Mama kept her Chicago family together with one rule: Sunday dinner, no exceptions. But when she gets sick and her three grown daughters — played by Vivica A. Fox, Vanessa Williams, and Nia Long — have to step in and keep the family together, things get... sticky. It’s got big feelings and even bigger plates.

Home for the Holidays (1995)

Jodie Foster directed this underrated gem starring Holly Hunter as a woman who loses her job and flies to her parents’ home in Baltimore for Thanksgiving with her incredibly chaotic family. The ‘90s cynicism is strong with this one, so be aware of that going in. But also: Robert Downey Jr. steals every scene he’s in.

Pieces of April (2003)

If you’ve ever felt like the black sheep in your family, you’ll definitely relate to Katie Holmes’ title character as she tries to host Thanksgiving in her tiny NYC apartment... when her oven dies. It’s funny, it’s tender, and it’s very real if you’ve ever tried to impress your hard-to-impress family.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987)

Can you really get any more classic than this? Steve Martin and John Candy are just trying to get home for Thanksgiving, but make it an unhinged buddy-comedy road trip movie. It has a way of hitting even harder once you’re the one in the family booking the holiday travel.

Dan in Real Life (2007)

Remember my previous note that being a sad movie and being a comfort movie are not mutually exclusive? Here’s another one in that category. Steve Carell is a widowed advice columnist who falls for a woman (Juliette Binoche) during a fall family weekend in Rhode Island... only to learn she’s dating his brother. He’s definitely going through it, but it’s Carell so his suffering is naturally also comedic. Add in a big family house, board games, touch football, and it’s extremely cozy.

If You Want Those Classic New England Fall Vibes

Mystic Pizza (1988)

This one’s a two-fer on the coziness scale because you get an idyllic Connecticut town and plenty of drool-worthy food scenes. The movie follows three waitresses (played by Julia Roberts, Annabeth Gish, and Lili Taylor) who spend one last summer-into-fall figuring out what comes next in life and love, all while slinging the town’s famous secret-sauce pizza.

Knives Out (2019)

Is this the ultimate whodunit for sweater weather? It certainly feels like a contender. It’s really a recipe for cozy mystery success when you throw together a dead patriarch, a sprawling New England mansion, Daniel Craig’s Southern-fried detective, and Chris Evans in cable-knit.

Dead Poets Society (1989)

Robin Williams gave us one of the most memorable mentors of all time with John Keating, an unconventional English teacher at a stuffy 1950s Vermont prep school. It’s tweed blazers and reading poetry in caves and crisp autumn walks. Fair warning: It’s a tearjerker, and you’ll forevermore get misty-eyed whenever you hear “O Captain! My Captain!”

Good Will Hunting (1997)

Yep, another sad-but-oh-so-life-affirming Robin Williams movie to add to your fall rotation. Here, Matt Damon plays a South Boston janitor at MIT who happens to also be a math genius. Williams plays the therapist who finally gets through to him (and, let’s be real, to all of us). Come for the Boston accents and the Southie bar scenes; stay for the “it’s not your fault” scene that’ll wreck you.

If You Want A Family Movie Night

Shaun the Sheep: The Beast of Mossy Bottom (2026)

Aardman’s flock is back, and this time (for the first time) it’s Halloween! When the clumsy Farmer wrecks the sheep’s prized pumpkin patch, Shaun goes all mad scientist trying to fix it. It unsurprisingly spirals from there and, before you know it, a hair beast is roaming the woods. This creature-feature parody may be new, but I'd be shocked if it didn't earn classic status.

Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)

Wes Anderson’s stop-motion adaptation of the Roald Dahl book is literally so fall-coded — it’s all oranges, browns, and golds! The kids will love it, but so will the adults in the room. George Clooney even voices the title fox.

Paddington 2 (2017)

Our sweet Paddington, you’ve always been a bringer of cozy vibes. Give me all the marmalade and pop-up books and, yes, even Hugh Grant as a gloriously vain villain. Everyone in the family will be a fan of this sweet pick.

Ratatouille (2007)

Food is comfort, and comfort is cozy, therefore Ratatouille is cozy comfort at its finest (and Pixar at its most heartwarming). It’ll make even the adults watching cry over a bowl of stewed root vegetables, which somehow feels right for fall.

Even More Cozy Fall Movies

1. The Harry Potter series (2001-2011)
2. Enola Holmes (2020)
3. October Sky (1999)
4. Sweet November (2001)
5. Stepmom (1998)
6. Runaway Bride (1999)
7. Annie Hall (1977)
8. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)
9. Love and Basketball (2000)
10. It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (1966)
11. Practical Magic (1998)
12. Clue (1985)
13. The Lake House (2006)
14. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (2019)
15. Remember the Titans (2000)
16. Autumn in New York (2000)
17. Waiting to Exhale (1995)
18. The Twilight series (2008-2012)
19. St. Elmo’s Fire (1985)
20. Rudy (1993)
21. Sweet Home Alabama (2002)
22. Friendsgiving (2020)
23. The Goonies (1985)
24. Coco (2017)

Lately it feels like we’re getting all kinds of exciting new casting announcements, from the two leads in the screen adaptation of Rebecca Yarros’ Fourth Wing to Florence Pugh fronting the movie adaptation of Matt Haig’s The Midnight Library. But for now, those projects have release dates of “TBD.” So what incredible books will we get to see play out on the big screen in the near future? Here are all the best book-to-screen adaptations coming in 2027, so you can read the book beforehand if that’s your jam.

Children of Blood and Bone — Jan. 15, 2027

Author Tomi Adeyemi’s rich storytelling will come alive just two weeks into the New Year, when her novel Children of Blood and Bone comes to theaters and IMAX. The film will star Thuso Mbedu as Zélie, Damson Idris, Amandla Stenberg, Regina King, Cynthia Erivo, Idris Elba, and the incredible Viola Davis, to name just a portion of the cast.

There are three books in Adeyemi’s Legends of Orïsha triology, all available now, if you want to read through to the end between now and mid-January.

Neuromancer — Jan. 22, 2027

If you have Apple TV, you’ll want to start Neuromancer when it drops on Jan. 22. Based on William Gibson’s sci-fi cyberpunk novel published in 1984, the 10-episode series will follow Case, a hacker-slash-hustler, and Molly, a cyborg mercenary, through a dangerous heist that will pit them against AI (timely), massive corporations, and all the powers-that-be.

Narnia: The Magician’s Nephew — Feb. 12, 2027

Greta Gerwig’s take on Narnia is coming and it can’t get here soon enough, TBH. Narnia: The Magician’s Nephew is based on the 1955 novel The Magician’s Nephew by C.S. Lewis, the sixth published (but first in the timeline of the story) novel in the children’s series The Chronicles of Narnia.

This movie is getting a true theatrical release in February, then hitting Netflix to stream at home on April 2, 2027. Either way, we can’t wait to see Meryl Streep and Daniel Craig in these magical roles.

The Nightingale — Feb. 12, 2027

Feb. 12 is going to be a big day at the box offices. In Kristen Hannah’s novel by the same name, she captures the story of World War II from the perspective of two sisters, who will no doubt be played beautifully by actual sisters Dakota and Elle Fanning. Go into this theater armed with tissues, and read Hannah’s book now if you’d like to know why.

Heated Rivalry Season 2 — April 2027

Spoiler alert! At the end of Season 1, Shane and Ilya’s relationship is revealed, setting up the central tension of Season 2. What will the fallout be, and how will the pair weather it together? All we’ll say is that apparently “intimacy rehearsals” are well underway...

While a more specific release date hasn’t been announced yet, if you’d like to read ahead, Season 2 of the show is based on The Long Game, which is Book 6 in author Rachel Reid’s Game Changers series.

Beach Read — May 7, 2027

A summer read turned summer blockbuster? We’re here for it. Starring Phoebe Dynevor and Patrick Schwarzenegger as January and Gus, we get to watch these two authors who have no business falling in love do exactly that. The rest of the cast seems stellar too: think Andie MacDowell, Kristin Davis, Tig Notaro, and Kevin Bacon.

Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow — Nov. 12, 2027

The movie adaptation of this bestselling novel by Gabrielle Zevin stars Daisy Edgar-Jones as Sadie Green, Sky Yang as Sam Masur, and Sean Kaufman as Marx Watanabe. Childhood friends Sadie and Sam collaborate on a blockbuster video game, Ichigo, which launches the two undergrads to fame. What follows is a story than spans 30 years and follows the pair through all of life’s unexpected ups and downs.

Bridgerton Season 5 — tbd 2027

We know that Bridgerton Season 5 is coming to Netflix in 2027, though a more exact date isn’t ours to know just yet. But if you’d like a preview of what’s to come, you can pick up Julia Quinn’s When He Was Wicked, the Bridgerton novel this season of the hit series will draw from.

I love Thanksgiving and look forward to it all year, not only because it’s a wonderful day with family, but because I get to eat so many of my favorite foods in one meal. And perhaps the best part of all is that there are often so many leftovers, I don’t have to cook again for a good long while (hallelujah!). That said, even the biggest Turkey Day feast fans get tired of leftovers by Day 3. As the days wear on, you’ll want to have some leftover turkey recipes that aren’t just sandwiches in your arsenal. Chances are you got tired of those on Day 2.

Holiday Leftovers Wreath

Take your turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, and cranberry sauce up in some crescent roll dough and bake — that’s Budget Bytes’ idea to use up your leftovers. Add your remaining gravy to the center, cut, and dunk!

Air Fryer Thanksgiving Egg Rolls

Pretty much any food combo that’s already yummy somehow tastes even better as an egg roll. Dinners Done Quick’s recipe will teach you how to turn turkey and your favorite sides into a delicious, golden appetizer the next day.

Leftover Stuffing Muffins

Stuffing, turkey, a little bit of spinach, and plenty of eggs will get you these delicious stuffing muffins, courtesy of Budget Bytes. They’re an easy on-the-go breakfast or quickly reheatable lunch that’s reminiscent of Thanksgiving, but different enough to feel new.

Leftover Turkey Salad

Chicken salad fans, guess what? You can just sub in turkey instead of chicken to make your favorite wraps and sammies. All The Healthy Things’ recipe is herby and crunchy thanks to all the fresh dill, celery, diced red onions, and those leftover pecans from that pie you baked.

Soulful Leftover Turkey & Rice Soup

Simply LaKita is an expert at comfort food recipes, so I trust her leftover turkey and rice soup is every bit as smoky, cozy, and hug-in-a-bowl-worthy as she describes. Serve it with the remaining rolls and butter from dinner and no one will be disappointed.

Turkey Pot Pie

Thanksgiving food is so good because it’s nostalgic and comforting. If you want to keep that feeling going, turning your leftovers into a turkey pot pie à la Princess Pinky Girl’s recipe is perfect. What could be better on a cold evening with a cozy new Christmas movie cued up?

Thanksgiving Potato Skins

I would never think to put my Thanksgiving leftovers on top of potato skins, but Budget Bytes is just a genius like that. You might have a few little potatoes left over from mashing all their friends. This recipe will help you turn them into a yummy appetizer for football Sunday, topped with turkey remnants, cranberries, stuffing, and cheese.

Turkey Nachos

Here, Dinners Done Quick’s recipe reminds us that you can honestly make sheet pan nachos out of anything, including your leftover turkey, cranberries, and corn. With a few extra fixings, like pickled onions and banana peppers, they’ll taste like a totally fresh dish.

Leftover Turkey Enchiladas

Again, cooked turkey can be subbed into pretty much any recipe that normally calls for chicken. Damn Delicious’ turkey enchiladas are proof. They’ll help you empty your fridge of all that white meat, and if you’re someone who thinks turkey leans too dry, enchilada sauce and cheese will take care of that for you.

Turkey Casserole

Princess Pinky Girl’s leftover turkey casserole only takes 10 minutes to prep and 40 minutes in the oven. It serves six as written, but would be easy enough to double if you have enough turkey to use up and your (hungry) guests are still in town.

Leftover Thanksgiving Sliders

Sliders are technically a sandwich, sure, but these are not two simple pieces of white bread with turkey and cranberry sauce in between. No, Damn Delicious’ sliders are oven-baked little morsels layered with turkey, cranberry relish, and cheese, but you could absolutely add your favorite sides on top too.

I can feel the tryptophan kicking in already! Who’s ready for Thanksgiving leftovers and a nap?

My five year old won’t stop saying fuck. And before anyone suggests I investigate where she learned it, lemme save you the time.

It’s me. Hi. I’m the problem, it’s me.

Both my husband and I swear a lot. More than we should, probably. And definitely more than we should around someone who is still learning to write her name. We need to reel it in, and I know it. Unfortunately, knowing it and remembering to do it in the moment are two different things.

And we have backup. As the youngest of four, with a 13-year-old at the top, all her siblings swear too. There is no shortage of material. Add in all the stuff the older kids are watching on TV and my youngest is basically getting a PhD in inappropriate language.

And God love her because she uses it correctly. She understands placement and timing. She nails emphasis when she knows the moment calls for something a little extra. She isn’t just saying a forbidden word to get a response from us, she is actually making a point. And a lot of times, she nails it.

And because of that it can be very hard to parent her with a straight face. I mean, I know I need to be the adult in the room. I know laughing doesn’t help. But when a little girl in pigtails throws out a perfectly timed “f*#%”, it just kills me. I think it’s funny, and I respect the skill. But, I also need it to stop.

And it’s pretty hard to sell her on the seriousness of a rule when the rest of the house is operating under a different one. We are telling her she can’t say a word that the rest of use – well — a lot. But, she’s now in kindergarten. She’s in a classroom with a teacher and a lot of little kids who don’t have older siblings or trash-mouthed parents and for that reason, we needed to get it under control.

So, my husband and I landed on a threat: If she kept swearing, we were going to tell her teacher.

Yes, our big, scary, mature parenting strategy was to find another adult to deal with it. Whatever.

But we thought it would work. She seemed to understand when we told her, and seemed a little nervous about the possibility — enough, maybe, to work.

But then I picked her up from school last Friday. She hopped in the car and happily announced, “Well, Mom, I told Miss Williamson that I drop F-bombs. So, now you don’t have to!”

Well.

Apparently she considered the situation and took it upon herself to get ahead of it.

So while we do still need to reel it in at home and set a better example, at least telling Miss Williamson is off my to-do list.

And honestly, my kid is a fucking legend.

Samm is an ex-lawyer and mom of four who swears a lot. Find her on Instagram @sammbdavidson.

I’m about to reveal my age, but trust me: It’s relevant to this story. When I was growing up, my parents gave my brother and me cash. It might have been our weekly allowance or money for a Saturday afternoon at the mall, but whatever we had in our hands was our budget. There was no tapping the phone, swiping a screen, or asking Mom to Venmo us another 10 bucks.

Melissa Murphy Pavone, a certified financial planner, remembers it the same way. She recalls counting coins, organizing bills, putting money into a piggy bank, and physically handing cash to a cashier when she wanted to buy something. Her philosophy was simple: “When the money was gone, it was gone.”

But for today’s kids, that lesson is becoming increasingly harder to teach because cash is disappearing from everyday life.

Think about how different the world of money looks for Generation Z and Generation Alpha. Venmo launched in 2009, giving people a quick way to send money digitally. Apple Pay followed in 2014, allowing consumers to pay with their phones. Zelle entered the cashless arena in 2017, making it easy to transfer money directly between bank accounts. The US Mint stopped making pennies in 2025, and many companies have stopped issuing checks, replacing them with direct deposits.

With fewer people carrying cash, kids are growing up in a world where money is virtual rather than something they can hold... and moms and dads are taking notice. While some parents have tried to find humor in this growing epidemic by jumping on the "Mom Can You Send Me 4/5 Bucks" trend on TikTok, where a kid repeatedly asks their mom for varying amounts of money to a catchy jingle, others are not amused.

Jeanine Bobenmoyer, a mother of two teenagers from Indianapolis, describes the money her kids spend as invisible money. To them, she says, money doesn’t always feel real. Robbie Hyman, author of The Money Savvy Teen, agrees, saying, “There is a major difference in the way today’s teenagers experience spending money because many transactions are digital. When money is reduced to a tap, click, or swipe,” Hyman says, “children can begin to see it as more of an abstraction, and giving them access to those digital accounts can get expensive — fast.”

Bobenmoyer learned that lesson the hard way. Like many parents, she added her 15-year-old daughter to her Apple Wallet for emergencies. Instead of using it only when necessary, her daughter went on a shopping spree at Target, Sephora, Culver’s, the movies, and American Eagle. The damage? More than $1,000 in one month. Oy!

Murphy says this is a big problem. “Kids may see the purchase, but they don’t necessarily see everything behind it, such as the hours their parents worked to earn the money, the time it took to save it, or the account balance getting smaller after every purchase. Without those connections,” she says, money can feel unlimited.”

New Jersey mom Dr. Lisa Nissim has lost her patience more than once when she tried to talk to her three kids about their spending habits. The wall she’s up against is that her children have a weak understanding of money because they’ve hardly touched or managed it to pay for things, so the physical reality of what money means has diminished. Her 20-year-old son has Venmo and Zelle. Her 17-year-old daughter uses Zelle, and she describes her 13-year-old son as the Apple Pay king. Nissim says her big concern is that kids lack the knowledge that they should save money on big-ticket items, such as a car, rent, or a mortgage for a home.

Hyman puts it this way: “It’s difficult to feel ownership of something you’ve never physically experienced, and money is no exception. When a teenager’s entire experience with money is watching numbers appear and disappear on a screen, it can be much easier to spend it without thinking about what those numbers represent, and that’s not the financial habit parents want to pass down.”

Does that mean we should bring back the old mason jar method, a popular and visual way for kids to grasp budgeting, saving, and giving away money? Maybe! According to Murphy, there’s something powerful about cash. She says cash can teach children patience, limits, and trade-offs because they can physically see what they have and watch it vanish after they spend it.

The good news is it’s never too late or too early to start. Financial Coach Kristen Ricupero recommends going old school by giving children aged 3 to 10 an allowance in cash. The goal is to help them learn how to divide their money between saving, giving, and spending. For kids 10 and older, Ricupero suggests giving them cash when they go out. That way, they are forced to look at prices, make choices, and figure out what they can afford with the money in their pocket.

Murphy says parents don’t need to stop using Venmo, Apple Pay, or Zelle because technology is not the enemy. She says, “They are the tools our children will use as adults, so they need to understand how to use them responsibly. The problem,” she says, “arises when convenience replaces conversation, so start having discussions and explain how to connect the dots.”

Your family is in town. Your group of girlfriends is coming over for book club. Your neighbors are en route to watch the big game. Your teen’s four besties from school are coming over to work on a project. Whatever the case may be, you need some cheap recipes to feed a crowd that won’t break the bank or take forever to get on the table. When I think about some potentially easy meals for large family gatherings, I lean toward things that yield a lot of food (obviously), and that do it with a relatively short ingredient list so I’m not blowing my grocery budget on one dinner. And ideally, they’d be things that tend to be crowd-pleasers, or something (like the burger bowls below) where I can set out all the toppings and let each person customize their meal. These recipes do all of that for the least amount of moola possible.

Turkey Biscuit Stew

Let’s say it’s a couple days after Thanksgiving and you’re still swimming in leftover turkey and houseguests. Princess Pinky Girl’s turkey biscuit stew is an easy and affordable way to reuse your cooked turkey but make it into a simple pot pie style that tastes new.

Red Curry Chicken Thighs

I love a good chicken thigh recipe, especially because they’re on sale so often at the grocery stores where I live. These red curry chicken thighs from All The Healthy Things only require a few seasonings to dress them up, and she serves them with a simple garlic rice and spicy cucumber salad.

Crockpot Salsa Chicken

If you need a vat of pulled chicken for tacos, enchiladas, or rice bowls, Princess Pinky Girl’s recipe will get the job done for you. All you need is a slow cooker, two pounds of chicken breasts or tenders, taco seasoning, two cups of salsa, and the juice of one lime (but even that is kind of optional).

Sheet Pan Garlic Butter Tilapia

Tilapia is the most affordable fish, especially if you buy the frozen filets (I lived on them when I was single). Damn Delicious’ sheet pan recipe calls for simple roast veggie sides to pair with them, so all in all this meal feels a lil’ fancy but is budget-friendly.

Burger Bowls

Ground beef is one of those things most families keep in the fridge, which means spaghetti, tacos, or burgers are evergreen options. If you want to change it up just a little, you could make All The Healthy Things’ burger bowls, which give you the same classic flavor combos of a burger but over greens instead of on a bun.

Spaghetti Aglio e Olio

Damn Delicious’ spaghetti aglio e olio is cheap cheap — a super-affordable 30-minute meal of pasta topped with breadcrumbs, garlic, Parmesan, olive oil, salt, pepper, and red pepper flakes. Serve it with a salad and you’re golden, I say.

Slow Cooker Chicago Italian Beef Sandwiches

Family Fresh Meals’ Chicago Italian beef sandwiches basically cook themselves, and you get a bunch of food for the minimal effort this recipe requires. Serve this on toasted hoagies with provolone and a side of chips and call it good.

Baked Spaghetti

The heartier version of spaghetti looks like this: Tessie’s Table’s baked spaghetti, which yields a baking dish full of cheesy, meat-saucy pasta that will satisfy many a hungry house guest. The ingredients are all affordable and there aren’t many of them, but the meal you get out of them is so good.

Lemon Parmesan Salad

Listen, most food websites will tell you the only salads worth serving guests have like 18 ingredients, and most of them are exotic stone fruits you can’t find at a Walmart. But let’s be real — there’s a reason people love the simplicity of, say, Olive Garden’s endless salad. Princess Pinky Girl’s lemon parm salad kind of recreates that magic. You need precious few ingredients, and it will go with quite literally anything you choose to serve alongside it.

Shrimp Boil

Who doesn’t love a low country boil with Old Bay-seasoned shrimp, corn, and potatoes? (Personally, I love when you can fish a whole head of garlic out and spread the cloves on the potatoes.) Budget Bytes’ recipe breaks down how to make one if it’s your first time. This recipe feeds six and clocks in at $2.76 per serving.

One-Pot Nacho Beef Skillet

Think a Hamburger Helper-like meal, but with a tortilla chip crunch — that’s Damn Delicious’ one-pot nacho beef skillet for you. The ingredient list looks a little long but it’s mostly seasonings you likely have anyway, and you could definitely buy just one type of cheese instead of two.

Hawaiian Roll Chicken Parm Sliders

Boneless skinless chicken tenders, Hawaiian rolls, a jar of marinara — the ingredients list in Fresh Apron’s recipe is short and all on the affordable side. But what you get is an entire slab of little mini chicken parm sandwiches with all the saucy, cheesy goodness you expect.

15-Minute Barbecue Chicken Skillet

Averie Cooks’ barbecue chicken skillet is so incredibly simple, it only takes 15 minutes to turn a handful of ingredients into a proper meal. Serve this over mac and cheese, alongside some roasted potatoes and green beans, or in a wrap.

Chorizo Sweet Potato Skillet

This one-skillet recipe from Averie Cooks has a very short ingredient list and only takes 20 minutes to make. This recipe yields four servings, so you may want to double it up for your crowd — they’ll definitely want seconds of this spicy, sweet combo.

Black Beans & Rice

There’s arguably no better affordable dish than beans and rice. It’s got protein, fiber, carbs — it’s a complete meal, nutritionally speaking. It’s great if you need a base for chicken or beef, a side for a crowd, or all on its own, and this recipe from Tessie’s Table will help you make it flavorful and fork-tender.

Slow Cooker Turkey & Bean Chili

Ground turkey is usually a lot cheaper than ground beef, probably because it tends to dry out easily while cooking. But when you put it in a dish like chili, well, that takes care of that problem. Fresh Apron’s turkey and bean chili is a cheap crowd-pleaser, and people love filing down the counter in a line choosing their toppings.

Classic Potato Soup

Six servings for 90 cents a piece? You can’t beat Budget Bytes’ potato soup recipe for budget-friendliness. This recipe is easy to scale up to feed more guests, and everyone loves potato soup, so it’s a solid crowd-pleasing pick.

Air Fryer Baked Potatoes

Everyone likes baked potatoes, and they are blessedly cheap. Make everyone their own potato and lay out the butter, cheese, bacon bits, and whatever other toppings you like so everyone can DIY their dinner. Princess Pinky Girl’s recipe explains how to do it in the air fryer.

BBQ Chicken Nachos

Sheet pan nachos, like these from My Casual Pantry, are so fun to serve and just let everyone dig in. If you want to use up leftover chicken, you can shred it and toss it on, or use any cut of chicken you can find on sale really. How fancy or elaborate you get with the toppings is entirely up to you and your budget.

Sausage Breakfast Casserole

If everyone’s coming over for breakfast, a casserole like this one from Budget Bytes is definitely the move. It’s described as cheesy, flavorful, and filling (sign me up), and looks like it would have the most satisfying crunch thanks to the tortilla chip topping.

Crispy Potato Kugel

Potatoes, onions, and eggs — that’s the base of this crispy potato kugel from A Sweet Thyme that makes 12 servings to dish out. It’s onion-y, garlic-y, and so delicious. Serve it with literally anything; you will hear zero complaints.

Easy Sheetpan Kielbasa & Potatoes

Bucket List Tummy’s sheet pan kielbasa and veggies are ready in 50 minutes start to finish, and 40 minutes of that time is spent in the oven. That means you can make a whole bunch of food for a little bit of money, and still spend your time actually enjoying your house guests rather than cooking the time away.

Easy Cheese Enchiladas

Budget Bytes’ cheese enchilada recipe serves four people if each guest eats three enchiladas. But her recipe has a helpful feature where you can edit the number of servings you want to make, and it will adjust your shopping list accordingly (hallelujah, you don’t have to do fractions in your head).

Whatever you serve your guests, they’re sure to taste the love in every bite.

Growing up, every grade school class had at least one: a horse girl. You know the type. Her pride and joy was her full Breyer collection, and she was rarely spotted without a dog-eared copy of Misty of Chincoteague in her bag. Maybe that girl was you. Maybe it still is! And, truly, there’s no shame in that. While “horse girl” used to be a playground insult, the equestrian aesthetic is full-on mainstream now.

So, if you’ve got a horse girl’s heart and a baby on the way, why not lean all the way in? Can’t you just picture your tiny equestrian now, bundled up in a barn jacket? These baby names pull from horse etymology, legendary steeds, breeds, barn life, and, of course, iconic horse girls (real and fictional).

Philippa

I mean, it’s Greek for “lover of horses,” which pretty much makes this the OG horse girl name. It’s polished and a little regal, with the bonus of having Pippa right there as a nickname.

Rosalind

I’ve always loved how romantic and Shakespearean this name is! But it’s also secretly equestrian, as it comes from Germanic roots meaning “horse” and “tender.”

Rhiannon

Not up on your Welsh mythology? Don’t worry; I’ve got you: Rhiannon was a queen who rode a white horse no one could catch. Not surprisingly, this name means “divine queen.”

Epona

Epona, the Celtic goddess of horses, was so beloved that Roman cavalry soldiers adopted her as their own. In ancient Gaulish, the name means “great mare.”

Annie

This wholesome name means “grace,” but real horse girls know it’s a nod to Wild West sharpshooter and icon Annie Oakley.

Ryder

If you gravitate toward gender-neutral options, consider Ryder! It means “mounted warrior” or “horseman” and has a cool rodeo energy.

Morgan

The Morgan is one of America’s oldest horse breeds, and it all started with a single stallion named Figure. Another gender-neutral option, this Welsh name means “born of the sea.”

Percy

Percy is short for Percheron, a powerful, elegant French draft horse breed. It means “one who pierces the valley” and is just preppy enough to have built-in book-nerd cred.

Misty

Obviously, right?! This name, which means “filled with a light haze,” is for anyone who wore out their copy of Marguerite Henry’s 1947 classic about a Chincoteague pony. Just pure nostalgia in name form.

Zenyatta

If you love lore, this name’s for you: Zenyatta is the legendary mare who won 19 races in a row and became the first female horse to win the Breeders’ Cup Classic. Nickname options are plentiful, but I’m partial to Zenny.

Paloma

This name may be Spanish for “dove,” but it sounds an awful lot like palomino: the golden-coated horse with a flaxen mane. It’s so pretty and makes for a great subtle horse girl nod.

Bay

Calling all lovers of one-syllable names! Let’s file this one under coastal equestrian chic because, well, a bay conjures up images of a quaint coastal town… but also a bay horse has a reddish-brown coat with black points.

Roan

While we’re talking horse-hair colors, add Roan to your shortlist. A roan-coated horse has white hairs mixed in with the base color, so it looks almost frosted. I love how earthy and unexpected and Irish this name feels.

Raine

Like rein, but make it a name. See what we did there? This name of French origin primarily means “queen” and would also make a great middle moniker.

Xanthe

If you want something super unique, look to this derivative of Xanthos: Achilles’ immortal horse in the Iliad, who could actually speak. Of Greek origin, the name means “golden” or “fair-haired.”

Ashleigh

Any horse girl who read the Thoroughbred series knows that Ashleigh Griffen was practically the patron saint of horse girls. Meaning “dweller near the ash tree forest,” this name feels feminine and classic.

Stevie

Stevie Lake was the loud, funny member of The Saddle Club, so if you were a horse girl in the ‘90s, you know exactly why this name made the list.

Zara

Zara Tindall is a horse girl like her mom, Princess Anne! The latter competed in eventing at the 1976 Montreal Olympics, while her daughter won Olympic silver in eventing at the 2012 London Olympics. Plus, how pretty is it that this name means “blooming flower” in Arabic?

Beezie

Ugh, I’m obsessed with names that sound like nicknames you’d give to that one friend everyone loves, and Beezie definitely qualifies. This name is, of course, a nod to show-jumping legend Beezie Madden.

Artax

If you’re a real glutton for punishment, you could borrow this name from Atreyu’s horse in The NeverEnding Story. Too soon? Never.

Even More Horse Girl Baby Names

• Abigail: Means “father’s joy.” Abigail Stone is one of the Spirit Riding Free trio.
• Alec: Means “defender.” It comes from Alec Ramsay in The Black Stallion.
• Amy: Means “beloved.” It’s for Amy Fleming of Heartland.
• Arabella: Means “yielding to prayer.” A soft nod to the Arabian breed.
• Beth: Means “pledged to God.” It’s for Yellowstone’s Beth Dutton.
• Blaze: Means “flame.” The white stripe down a horse’s face.
• Bridie: Means “strength.” Sounds a lot like bridle.
• Carole: Means “free woman.” Carole Hanson was The Saddle Club’s resident horse expert.
• Chessie: Means “chalk port.” A nod to the classic reddish-brown coat color of chestnut.
• Copen: In homage to the Duke of Wellington’s horse at Waterloo, Copenhagen.
• Hagen: See above.
• Derby: Means “deer park.” The race, the hat, the whole vibe.
• Ebony: Means “deep black wood.” A nod to the name for a black coat.
• Ginger: A spice, and also a red chestnut coat.
• Grey: The coat color that most “white” horses actually have.
• Hayes: Means “hedged-area.” You really can’t get more pasture-coded.
• Jessica: Means “to behold.” A nod to Olympic show jumper Jessica Springsteen.
• Lucky: Means “favored by chance.” The heroine of Spirit Riding Free.
• Paso: Means “step,” as in the smooth-gaited Paso Fino breed.
• Pru: Means “prudent.” Pru Granger rounds out the Spirit Riding Free crew.
• Reba: Means “to bind.” Country legend Reba McEntire grew up riding in rodeos.
• Rosamund: Means “horse protector.”
• Scout: Means “to listen.” Tonto’s horse in The Lone Ranger.

Whether it’s coming from loud posts in your social feed, wild headlines in your inbox, or your neighbor who pays too much attention to both, commentary on neurodivergence is everywhere.

For those of us trying to raise a kid who learns or thinks differently, reliable, practical, non-scary information and advice can be hard to find. In fact, 52% of videos about ADHD and 41% of videos about autism on TikTok are inaccurate or misleading, according to a recent analysis. And that misleading intel can add to confusion: A survey of caregivers conducted by an Ohio Children’s hospital found that one in four regretted a health decision they made for their child based on conflicting information.

It’s tough out here. But maybe you’ve heard of Understood.org, the non-profit organization created to support the neurodivergent community, including parents of neurodivergent kiddos (who might be neurodivergent themselves). Their content covers conditions like ADHD, dyslexia, and other language and processing disorders. Understood has no pharmaceutical backing, and they’re not selling anything. Everything they provide is free and expert-reviewed at a time when truth is in short supply.

What’s more, all of their advice, articles, podcasts, and products are based on quality research and vetted by actual experts in education, healthcare, and research. That means you won’t lose hours falling into a fact-checking rabbit hole, or wind up second-guessing a decision you made based on misinformation. Despite all the noise, no one is ultimately accountable for the outcome of our choices except us — and that makes trustworthy information all the more valuable.

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, you’re not alone. Here are some key ways to get reliable information you can trust and implement right now.

Make “News To Know” Your Go-To Source Of Truth

You’re bound to come across content about ADHD, dyslexia, and other learning disabilities via your social scrolls and news push alerts, but you don’t have to take the hooks and headlines at their word.

Instead, sign up for Understood News to stay informed of the latest developments without the fear-mongering headlines. You’ll get expert-reviewed updates on health, education policy, and topics related to neurodivergence.

Maybe you’re trying to sort out the truth of whatever news has already come across your desk. It may help to scroll through Understood’s featured stories. There, you’ll find helpful articles like Are ADHD medications overprescribed in kids?, and Does [Acetaminophen] cause ADHD, autism, and other neurodevelopmental disorders?

You can also stay up to date on the latest news by following Understood on Instagram and TikTok.

Navigate The School System With The “Zero Reject” Podcast

An individualized education program (IEP) is a formal plan created to help your kiddo do their best work at school with the help of staff support and services. Each IEP is designed for the individual child. For example, if your child has dyslexia, that IEP might include things like specialized reading lessons a few times a week.

While these programs are common (1 in 6 public school students use them), you may have lots of questions when entering that system for the first time. That’s where Understood’s “IEP Guide for Parents" can come in handy. The guide walks you through the basics, so you feel more prepared before you begin the process.

Even if you’re familiar with that system, recent news about changes to the Department of Education may make you wonder if your kid will still get the support they need, or what you can do if they don’t. Understood has a new investigative podcast — Zero Reject: The Uncertain Future of Special Education — which breaks down what’s changing and what’s at stake, and and lets parents know that they're not alone with the challenges they face.

Get Answers To Questions You’d Normally Search For Online

Searching the internet blindly in 2026 can be completely overwhelming. The AI results with sketchy sourcing and the message board threads no one asked for are enough to make you give up before you even get started.

Instead of relying on your browser or AI apps, try using Understood’s AI-powered tool, the Understood Assistant, to dig in. The Assistant’s responses come from the extensive library of Understood's expert-reviewed content and nowhere else; no research hallucinations here.

When a child navigates the world differently, it can be hard to understand what they’re going through. Understood’s Through My Eyes is a free, immersive digital experience that lets you step into their world and experience their daily challenges firsthand. Through simulations and stories, it shows what a typical day can be like for kids with ADHD, dyslexia, and dyscalculia. It also offers videos and downloadable resources to help you support them.

No matter where you and your kid are on your journey, you need real resources to help you navigate it. Start at Understood.org.

Welcome to Ask A MWLTF (Yes, that’s Mother Who Likes to F*ck.), a monthly anonymous advice column from Scary Mommy. Here we’ll dissect all your burning questions about motherhood, sex, romance, intimacy, and friendship with the help of our columnist, Penelope, a writer and mental health practitioner in training. She’ll dish out her most sound advice for parents on the delicate dance of raising kids without sacrificing other important relationships. Email her at askpenelope@scarymommy.com.

Dear Penelope,

My ex-husband and I were terrible married partners. We fought constantly, divorced, and became surprisingly good co-parents. Now, years later, we’ve started sleeping together again. The weird thing is, the sex is better than it was when we were married. We’re more relaxed, more playful, and somehow more honest with each other. We can flirt and laugh and enjoy being together without falling into the same arguments that made our marriage miserable. We still have kids together, so we see each other all the time, and we’ve managed to build a pretty peaceful routine.

The only problem: I’m starting to worry that we’re going to ruin it. Neither of us want to get back together, and we’re not exactly dating. I don’t even know if he’s seeing other people. I also don’t know how I’d feel if he did. Part of me thinks this is a great arrangement: we know each other, we have history, and the sex is good. Another part of me wonders if we’re just reopening a door we worked really hard to close. How do I know if this is something we can enjoy without messing up the co-parenting relationship we finally got right?

— Reopening a can of worms

Dear Reopening a can of worms,

There is a particular kind of romantic comedy that begins after the divorce. The marriage was a disaster, the couple finally separates, and then — once they’re no longer sharing a mortgage, a bathroom, and the exhausting daily business of being married —they discover that they actually like each other. Maybe they even have great sex. It’s a charming premise, in part because it seems to promise that the problem was never the two people themselves, but the institution of marriage, with its endless negotiations over money, chores, parenting, and whose turn it is to be disappointed.

Real life, of course, is not always so neatly plotted. But there is something psychologically plausible about the experience you describe. Marriage and co-parenting ask people to do different things. As spouses, you were entangled in the daily expectations of a shared life. You had to negotiate not just who you were to each other, but who would do what, who was letting whom down, whose needs took precedence, and what your family was supposed to look like. You may have been fighting about the dishes, but the argument was rarely only about the dishes. It was about whether you felt seen, whether you could count on each other, whether one of you was carrying too much, whether the other was asking too much. Over time, every small disagreement can become a referendum on the whole relationship.

Now you have a different arrangement. You each have your own home, your own routines, and some degree of control over your own lives. You can be attentive and affectionate during the time you choose to spend together, and then go home. You’re no longer trying to make every part of your lives fit together. It may be easier to be generous with each other when you’re not also negotiating the entire architecture of your family. Also, there’s another possible ingredient: distance can make room for curiosity. When you were married, you knew each other in the exhausting, unvarnished way people know someone they live with. You saw each other sick, irritated, distracted, and overwhelmed. You had to deal with the consequences of each other’s habits and choices every day. Now, even with children in common, you may be encountering each other in smaller, more deliberate doses. Your ex can be a person you’re attracted to again, rather than the person who forgot to sign the permission slip or left you to handle a family crisis alone. You can have a good evening without needing it to prove that your whole life together is working. That doesn’t mean the sex is fake, or that you’re necessarily fooling yourselves. It may be real pleasure, real affection, even a new kind of intimacy. But good sex can mean many things, and it doesn’t automatically mean that the conditions that made your marriage unhappy have changed. You may have become better at being co-parents, or better at being exes, without having become more compatible as spouses. Those are meaningful accomplishments in their own right. You don’t have to turn them into a reunion story.

The question I’d pay attention to isn’t just whether you can keep having sex without fighting. It’s what happens when the situation becomes less convenient or less clear. What if one of you starts dating someone else? What if one of you wants more commitment, or less? What if one of you begins to feel jealous, or hopes the sex means you’re getting back together, while the other sees it as a pleasurable arrangement with no larger implications? And what happens if the old arguments return — not over household chores, perhaps, but over the kids, the schedule, or the meaning of what you’re doing? Because your children are part of this, even if the sex itself is private. You don’t need to share adult details with them, and you certainly don’t need to explain your sex life. But if the renewed relationship starts to look like a reconciliation to them, or if it changes the emotional temperature between their parents, they may notice. Children can be hopeful about their parents getting back together, even when nobody has promised that. They can also feel unsettled if a warm, cooperative co-parenting relationship suddenly becomes tense again. Protecting them doesn’t require you to avoid intimacy with your ex at all costs. It does mean taking care not to let uncertainty between the two of you spill into the family’s routines without talking about it.

All that said I’d suggest having a conversation that may feel less sexy than the sex itself, but is probably more important. I’m not talking about a grand summit about the future of your relationship, nor a demand that either of you define what this means before you’re allowed to enjoy it. What I’m suggesting is more of an honest check-in: Are we both seeing this the same way? Are we free to date other people? What would we want to happen if one of us developed feelings or wanted to stop? What boundaries would help us preserve the co-parenting relationship we’ve worked so hard to build? And if you’re not sure of the answers yet, can you agree to say so honestly rather than letting the ambiguity quietly become a promise? You may discover that you both want the same thing: a sexual connection that feels good and familiar, without trying to rebuild the marriage. You may discover that one of you is hoping for more. Either way, it’s better to know what you’re each consenting to than to assume the arrangement means the same thing to both of you just because the sex is good.

Finally, you don’t have to treat the fact that you divorced as proof that you should never be together again. People change. Relationships change. Sometimes the end of a marriage creates the conditions for a more peaceful connection. But you also don’t have to treat good sex as evidence that you should give the marriage another try. Maybe what you’ve found is a way to enjoy a part of your history without repeating all of it.

— Penelope

Guys can be notoriously hard to shop for, especially when you’re short on funds or time. But this inspired list is full of clever, practical, and upscale gifts that will make you look like a thoughtful big spender — even though everything clocks in at $25 or less. I’m talking things that will make car and sports fanatics shed tears of happiness, a bunch of awesome accessories for techies, and refreshing face and body products (because men like getting cleaned up, too). Scroll on to stock up on some seriously great gifts for the men in your life.

An Easy-To-Clean Grill Shelf Mat For Tools & More

Find Law Griddle Mat

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Guys who grill need this barbecue mat. The heat-resistant silicone construction provides a clean, anti-slip surface for resting tools, seasoning, and more. And it’s easier to clean than the side shelves on grills since it comes out sparkling clean after a spin in the dishwasher.

• Available colors: 3

A Highly Rated Car Charger With Retractable Cords

LISEN Retractable Car Charger

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Help your loved ones keep their car tidy with a little help from this genius multi-device charger. It features two retractable, fast-charging cords that are compatible with iPhone, Samsung, and more — plus two USB slots for plugging in extra cords. With a 4.6-star rating after 6,500 reviews, it’s a fan favorite tech accessory that will win you major gift-giving points.

• Available colors: 2

An Easy Cookbook That Uses Ingredients You Already Have At Home

The 'I Don't Want to Cook' Book

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This cookbook is perfect for nights when you don’t know what to make for dinner, but you also don’t want to spend money on take-out. It contains 100 easy, fast recipes that are designed to use ingredients you already have at home. With minimal prep work and no extra trips to the grocery store required, this cookbook is a lifesaver for busy days.

Cooling Pillowcases That Are Wildly Soft

Elegear Cooling Pillow Cases (2-Pack)

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These cooling pillowcases are a hot sleeper’s dream. One side is infused with Japanese cooling fibers that absorb body heat, while the reverse is a knit cotton jersey that’s oh-so soft. The set comes with two pillowcases.

A Hanging Car Trunk Organizer With Tons Of Space

Femuar Car Trunk Organizer

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Get your vehicle’s trunk in order with this hanging organizer that fits on the back of the last row. It’s 100% waterproof with a total of eight pockets (including cloth and mesh ones) to hold emergency supplies, umbrellas, and whatever else you keep back there.

A Long String Light Strand That’s Customizable

OGERY Camping String Lights, 4 in 1 Quick Storage 32.8FT Rechargeable Tent Lights String with 8 Lighting Modes, Hanging Waterproof Portable LED Lamp for Outdoor Patio Awning Garden Party Essentials

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At over 32 feet long, this waterproof light strand can illuminate a large area — it can also be wound up and utilized as a hanging light. The lights can be set to a range of modes and brightness levels, and the whole thing is powered by a built-in battery that can last up to 12 hours.

A Wallet Tracking Card To Never Lose It Again

BFADEHA Wallet Tracker Card

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Can’t find your wallet? That won’t ever be the case when utilizing this tracker card, which you can ping using the Find My app on your iPhone. It’s about the size, shape, and weight of a credit card, so it’ll fit in your wallet nicely.

Absorbent Plant Saucers To Save Your Counters

Creproly Plant Saucer (2-Pack)

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Made from diatomaceous stone, these plant saucers are designed to soak up water drips and spills, keeping the surface below protected from pooling liquid. The set comes with two in your choice of soft white or gray.

Stainless Steel Beer Chilling Sticks For Cold Drinks That Aren’t Watered Down

Brisked Beer Chiller Sticks (2-Pack)

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This pair of brilliant beer chilling sticks is crafted from thick stainless steel that can keep drinks cold, regardless of the weather outside. Created with chubbier beer bottles in mind, they’re a great way to regulate temperature without watering down your drink. Just stick them in the freezer for 30 to 45 minutes prior to use, and insert one in your bottle.

A 2-Pack Of Moisturizing Sleeves For Rough Feet

Dr. Frederick's Original Moisturizing Heel Socks (2 Pairs)

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If a pedicure isn't in the cards, these moisturizing foot sleeves are the next best thing. Infused with olive oil, jojoba oil, and vitamin E, they drench rough skin in moisture for a soft, smooth feel. To keep things ultra comfortable, they're vented for breathability.

A Portable Safe For Phones, Cash, & Passports

Master Lock Portable Lock Box

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This portable safe is a genius gift. It’s designed to be water resistant and shock absorbing, and it locks with its own combo so no one can open it but you. The lock box comes with a cable to attach to something sturdy, and it even has a port if you want to charge your phone while it’s inside.

A Sleek Dry Erase Board For Organized Desktop Notes

Quartet Magnetic Desktop Dry Erase Computer Pad

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Whether working from home or in the office, this wallet-friendly desktop dry-erase board is sure to make the day more organized. It features a stain-resistant painted steel writing surface for easily keeping track of to-do lists, and it even doubles as a magnet board. The sleek design is especially perfect for those who like to maintain a streamlined workspace — just slide the keyboard and other office supplies underneath the raised surface at the end of the day.

A Bidget Attachment For An Ultra-Clean Feel

SAMODRA Bidet Attachment

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Surprise your man by upgrading his throne with this easy-to-install toilet bidet attachment. The affordable find has a sleek design and dual nozzles that offer an adjustable stream of water, guaranteeing an ultra-clean feel after each go. Though it looks expensive, you’ll be pleasantly surprised by the budget-friendly price tag.

• Available colors: 3

A Toothbrush Holder That Dries & Disinfects

Becoolpet Toothbrush Travel Cover

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This toothbrush case is another must-gift for travelers. And it’s no ordinary toothbrush holder — this one’s got disinfecting LED lights, a built-in fan for a quick dry, and even a mirror for brushing on the go. It’s truly impressive, but recipients don’t need to know what a bargain it is.

Running Shorts With A Brilliant 2-In-1 Design

Leidowei Workout Running Shorts

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If you know a guy who can’t go a day without working out, then gift them these amazing running shorts. The two-in-one design features a quick-dry mesh outer layer with a reflective back zippered pocket for added visibility and built-in compression shorts underneath for added support. They’re ultra-affordable and available in a wide selection of sizes and colors, so you can grab the perfect pair (or pairs).

• Available sizes: Small — 4X-Large
• Available colors: 23

A Scrubbing Bag For Pristine Golf Equipment

Club Scrub Golf Club and Ball Cleaning Bag

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If you’re looking for a budget-friendly gift for a guy who loves to golf, this golf club cleaning bag is sure to be a literal hit. The inner lining features a gentle water-activated scrubbing material designed to clean clubs and balls without scratching the surface for better contact. The outside of the bag is made from soft, waterproof microfiber and has a clip for easy carrying.

A Cap Organizer That Works On Any Hanger Type

Hat Organizer Holder for Hanger & Room Closet, 1Pack Hat Rack Storage Clips, for Hang Baseball Hats Rack, Ball Caps, Winter Beanie & Accessories, Fits All Hangers (1PC Black)

Amazon -

Hat collectors will appreciate receiving this convenient cap organizer as a gift. The soft fabric sleeve slips over almost any hanger rod and feature strong hook-and-loop closures and stainless steel clips for ultra-practical storage. The organizer contains 10 hooks for maximum storage options.

Just-Add-Water Sneaker Scrubbers For Pristine Footwear

SneakERASERS Instant Sneaker Cleaner (10-Pack)

Amazon -

Help your dude keep his footwear in pristine condition when you gift him these genius SneakERASERS. The powerful microfiber scrubber side is infused with a cleaning formula that only needs water to activate, and the orange side finishes the job by gently wiping away any leftover marks or residue. It’s compatible with a range of upper materials, including leather and canvas.

A Versatile BBQ Blanket For Grill Masters

Find Law Reusable BBQ Blanket

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This reusable BBQ blanket is the ideal gift for any guy in your life who loves to grill. The waterproof bag features five layers of insulation for keeping meats warm while they rest and a wide mouth design for easy access. And this inexpensive, versatile find can also be used as a grocery bag and as a handy place to carry leftovers home.

A Classic Toiletry Bag That Packs Easily

Estour Roll Up Toiletry Bag

Amazon -

Any guy will appreciate this masculine toiletry bag that looks ultra-expensive. It has a stunning waxed canvas exterior that looks like suede and resists water, plus a variety of compartments for storing razors, face creams, and more. And the roll-up design makes it especially convenient for travel. It’s available in a selection of classic colors and materials.

• Available colors: 6

Heavy-Duty Scuff Erasers For Boats & More

Better Boat Boat Scuff Erasers (3-Pack)

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You can think of these boat scuff erasers as a heavier-duty version of Magic Erasers. Offered as a pack of three, they feature textured surfaces on both sides and a reinforced core for added durability and better grip. And they effortlessly remove grime, scuffs, and more from a range of materials, including vinyl, fiberglass, and wood.

A Precision Screwdriver Set With 24 Interchangeable Heads

OEAGO 25-in-1 Mini Precision Screwdriver Set

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This mini screwdriver set gives you over 20 tools in one, because it has interchangeable heads to fit different sized screws. You get 24 bits — Phillips, Hex, Torx, flat, and star — and some of them are even small enough to repair glasses, electronics, and anything else that has those frustratingly tiny screws.

A Pocket-Sized 12-In-1 Tool With A Handy Holster

RAK Pro Tools Pliers Multitool

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This 12-in-1 tool is absurdly useful (and affordable). It’s made from heavy-duty stainless steel and includes all the essential tools, plus some — like flat and Phillips head screwdrivers and even a wire cutter, bottle opener, and mini saw. It can be slipped into pockets or conveniently carried on a belt using the included holster.

A Salt Lamp Diffuser With A Realistic Flame Effect

SALKING 2-In-1 Essential Oil Diffuser & Salt Lamp

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This essential oil diffuser has a realistic flame effect for added flair. It combines LED lights and the diffuser’s water vapor to make the fire, and it has four timer options so you don’t have to remember to turn it off later. The aromatherapy device also doubles as a stylish Himalayan salt lamp.

• Available colors: 6

Hydrating Facial Masks With A Beard-Friendly Shape

HommeFace Facial Mask Set (5-Pieces)

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Men who are into skincare will love these hydrogel facial masks. They’re infused with hyaluronic acid, vitamins B, C, and E, plus potent peptides for maximum hydration and a rejuvenated appearance. And the beard-friendly shape is pure genius. Grab the pack of five for a wallet-friendly price.

A Camping Towel That Folds Up To Pocket Size

BAGAIL Camping Towel

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This popular camping towel is a must for drying off outdoors (without bringing along a bulky bath towel). It’s made from ultra-absorbent microfiber that’s both soft and quick to dry and doubles as a storage bag since it has a zippered pocket for holding things like cell phones and snacks. Plus, it’s machine washable and tucks away in a small carrying pouch for easy storage.

• Available sizes: XXS — XXXXL
• Available colors: 17

A Convenient Thumb Light That Fits On Keys Or Remotes

Lucky Line LED Thumb Light (2-Pack)

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If you’re looking for a practical gift on a budget, these thumb lights are a great option. Each one has a bright, long-lasting LED bulb, and it sticks to almost any surface — think keys, TV remotes, measuring tapes, pet leashes, and beyond. Guys are sure to appreciate it, but it’s so useful that you’ll want one for yourself, too.

A Portable Cup Holder For The Frequent Flyer

riemot Luggage Travel Cup Holder

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This clever luggage cup holder that attaches to suitcase handles is essential for hassle-free travel. It’s constructed from premium Oxford cloth with a strong Velcro closure, which means it’s durable and a secure place to store coffee cups, cell phones, and more. Plus, the foldable design makes it easy to store between trips.

• Available colors: 26

A Clear Desk Mat That’s Super Easy To Keep Clean

LBJFYHJN Clear Desk Mat

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This transparent desk mat protects your furniture while giving you a super easy work surface to keep clean. Made from anti-static, nonslip PVC, the clear mat is barely noticeable but reduces desk scratches and scuffs and protects against spills and stains. Just wipe it down if it gets dirty. It’s perfect for use in home offices or craft rooms.

• Available sizes: 13

A Car Air Freshener With A Fun Pilot Design

Teddy Pilot Car Air Freshener

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Aviation (or animal) enthusiasts will get a kick out of this car air freshener that looks just like a bear flying a plane. It features a brown-black color design that matches well with most car interiors and a soft silicone plug that mounts easily and securely to A/C vents. Flipping on the air is about to get so much more fun thanks to the spinning propellers that create an ocean-scented breeze.

A Watch Kit That Helps You Get A Custom Band Fit

JOREST Watch Link Removal Kit

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For the guy who loves his timepiece, this watch kit is a must. It comes with all the necessary tools to add or remove links to his watch for a custom fit. The work platform is adjustable to fit different band sizes, and it even comes with a cleaning cloth to keep the watch in pristine condition.

An Alarm Clock That Mimics The Sunrise

ANTDALIS Sunrise Alarm Clock

Amazon -

This sunrise alarm clock is a must-gift for heavy sleepers and night owls who have a hard time waking up in the morning. The dimmable light panel that doubles as a night-light mimics the sunrise stages for a more natural wake-up call. This innovative (and inexpensive) tech find also offers seven alarm sounds for waking even the deepest sleepers.

A Phone Mount That’s Perfect For Travel

MiiKARE Airplane Phone Holder

Amazon -

Know someone who is constantly on the go? Then you’ve got to gift them this versatile phone holder. You’ll love that it’s super affordable, and they’ll appreciate how perfect it is for travel. The secure clamps can mount to airplane seat trays, luggage handles, and so much more. And it rotates in every direction, so they’ll always get just the right angle. It’s compatible with most cell phones.

• Available colors: 16

Clear Patches To Help Soothe Razor Burn & Shaving Cuts

NICK FIX Gifts for Dad, Mens Gifts Ideas, Mens Accessories for Shaving, Gift Sets for Men, Guy Gifts, Gift for Husband, Gifts for Him, Styptic Pencil Alternative Beard Care Travel Gift FSA Eligible

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These clear patches are designed to provide relief for shaving cuts or razor burn. The barely-noticeable stickers are infused with aloe and witch hazel and are designed to start working within 30 minutes. You get 72 stickers in the set, so you’ll be set for a while — and they’re super easy to throw in a toiletry kit for travel.

Anti-Theft Zipper Clips That Can Help Prevent Pickpocketing

Zelin Double Opening Zipper Clips (4-Pack)

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These anti-theft zipper clips are an instant sanity-saver. The durable clips connect two zippers together so that it’s harder to quickly unzip a backpack, purse, or suitcase. They basically tell pickpockets, “Not today.” Lightweight, discreet, and surprisingly multiuse, they double as mini carabiners for keys, pets, or gear.

A Deluxe Shaving Kit That Includes A Holder With A Sturdy Weighted Base

JEQUIL&CORENVEO Deluxe Shaving Kit

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Lather up the right way with this deluxe shaving kit. Each kit includes a shaving brush, a shaving bowl, and a brush holder. The brush has soft, synthetic bristles that resemble boar hair, and the holder is made with a weighted stainless steel to ensure everything stays put. It’s earned an overall score of 4.5 stars on Amazon.

This Heated Lunch Bag That Plugs Into The Car

DUPASU Electric Lunch Box

Amazon -

This electric lunch box is the perfect on-the-go hero. It plugs into cars, trucks, and standard outlets, heating meals in 20 to 30 minutes so you can eat real food even if you’re working out of the office. The stainless steel container is roomy, the lid is leak-resistant, and it even comes with its own salad box, utensils, and insulated bag.

Scented Roll Squishy Toys

Generic Slow Rising Squishy Rolls (2-Pack)

Amazon -

For the friend who loves weird gifts that make absolutely no sense but bring them joy anyway, these roll squishies are peak excellence. They’re soft, stretchy, slow-rising, and designed to smell like actual Hawaiian rolls. Perfect for fidgeting at work, taking on a trip, or pranking your favorite baker.

A Multi-Purpose Keychain Charger

Connfiton iPhone Charge Cable Keychain

Amazon -

This charger looks and performs like a pricey tech find, but it’s actually super affordable. The genius keychain design features a slim, metal-reinforced body and two lightning-fast charger connectors that seamlessly tuck away went not in use. It also includes a bottle opener and a strong aluminum carabiner for added convenience.

Coasters That Give You A View Of Your Fave Football Stadium

YouTheFan NFL 3D Stadium View Coasters (2-Pack)

Amazon -

For the diehard football fan, there are these coasters that give you a 3D view of NFL stadiums. They come in multiple options for fans of the Steelers, Packers, Chiefs, and other major teams. They’re sure to come in handy when Monday night rolls around.

An Ergonomic Knee Pillow For Superior Comfort & Support

BlissTrends Memory Foam Knee Pillow

Amazon -

This inexpensive knee pillow might seem like an odd thing to gift, but it offers so much comfort that it’s sure to show just how much you care. It’s made from high-density memory foam and features an ergonomic design, helping to align the spine and hips to maintain the correct posture and relieve pain and aches.

• Available colors: 2

A Watch Case That Looks & Feels High-End

ProCase Watch Box

Amazon -

This watch case has a high-end look and feel but is actually very wallet-friendly. The outside of the case features a smooth faux leather material that looks genuine, while the interior lining and removable pads are lined with a soft suede fabric that’s gentle on accessories. It comes in multiple colors and sizes, all with a bottom drawer for watch bands and other accessories.

• Available colors: 6

A Heavy-Duty Phone Stand With A Cult Following

OMOTON Aluminum Desktop Cellphone Stand

Amazon -

This heavy-duty aluminum cellphone holder is the perfect gift for those who spend a lot of time on their phones. It features a sturdy base and a rotating holder with a wide, nonslip surface that makes taking calls, filming content, or just catching up on shows a convenient, hands-free experience. It’s available in classic silver, as well as a few fun colors — all backed by a 4.8-star rating after a whopping 64,000+ reviews.

• Available colors: 9

Miniature Scissors That Are Shockingly Useful

PDHTC Stainless Steel Mini Folding Scissors

Amazon -

Even with their super small size, these travel scissors are surprisingly versatile — use them to cut off clothing tags, open up boxes, snip loose threads, or take them along on fishing trips. They fold into a unique shape for safer portability.

Versatile Floating Shelves For Houseplants & Beyond

YQSLYSF Rotating Plant Stand

Amazon -

These floating shelves have a rotating design that makes them so versatile that they can be installed practically anywhere and used to display everything from houseplants to photos — each shelf has a 20-pound weight capacity. They’re crafted from stainless steel, and the shelves have a small lip that helps prevent leaking. Choose from round or oval tiers.

Premium Quality Kebab Skewers

JY COOKMENT Kabob Skewers (12-Pack)

Amazon -

These premium stainless steel kebab skewers are so much better than wood versions, still, they’re surprisingly inexpensive — especially since you get 12 in a pack. Not only are they fire-resistant, but they feature an extended length and large handles, which means they can accommodate more food and are comfortable to hold. Plus, the sharp tip makes skewering effortless.

Zero-Hassle Dashboard Phone Holders

CoolPow Car Dash Magnetic Phone Holder (2-Pack)

Amazon -

If you know someone who spends a lot of time in the car, then these awesome dashboard phone holders are just the gift to make you look super thoughtful — and like a big spender. Offered as a pack of two, they have a sleek, low-profile design with a magnetic surface and smooth 360-degree rotation. And installation promises to be effortless and secure since the base sticks on with a heavy-duty 3M adhesive. The mounts are compatible with most smartphones, including iPhone and Samsung models.

• Available colors: 2

A Water Bottle Bag That Can Hold Your Tumbler & Phone

Ceneda Water Bottle Carrier Bag

Amazon -

This water bottle bag is a perfect gift for anybody who loves spending time outdoors. It has a roomy, triple-insulated interior that can accommodate up to a 40-ounce size tumbler for superior beverage temperature control. Plus, it has a padded shoulder strap and a front pocket with an attached lanyard for storing cell phones, keys, and more.

• Available colors: 8

High-Performance Bar Soap In Manly Scents

Dr. Squatch Natural Bar Soaps (3-Pack)

Amazon -

Save your expensive body wash for yourself and get this made-for-men bar soap for your dude instead. The high-performance Dr. Squatch bars are cold-pressed and made with nourishing ingredients, including coconut oil, shea butter, and kaolin clay. Choose from a selection of affordably priced, long-lasting packs of three in masculine scents like wood barrel bourbon.

Mangetic Fidget Rings For A Calm & Focused Mind

BUNMO Magnetic Fidget Rings (3-Pack)

Amazon -

If you know someone who tends to get a little antsy, these fidget rings are a thoughtful gift that can help improve focus and offer a sense of calm. They stick together with powerful magnets, so they can be configured in multiple ways, and they’re pocket-sized for added convenience. A three-pack is so inexpensive, making them a gift that’s easy on the budget.

• Available colors: 4

A Wireless Charger That Fits On A Key Ring

i.VALUX Portable Wireless Charger for Apple Watch

Amazon -

Whoever gets this Apple Watch charger as a gift is going to be thrilled at how easy it makes it to keep their tech powered. It has a built-in power bank for fast, on-the-go charging, plus a sleek design that looks ultra high-end. But don’t worry, it’s actually very affordable, so you can grab one for more than one of your favorite guys.

A Stick-On Organizer For A Laptop

AMOZIFY 3-Pocket Organizer

Amazon -

Laptops naturally come with a lot of accessories, like a mouse, charger, and stylus. And this pocket organizer can hold them all. It sticks directly onto the back of your laptop (using 3M adhesive), and there are three stretchy pockets for organization’s sake.

Noise-Cancelling Earplugs That Are So Comfy

Ear Plugs for Sleeping Noise Reduction, Beinkap Reusable Earplugs Hearing Protection for Focus, Study, Work – 6 Pair Eartips in S/M/L – Flexible Silicone Soft – 35dB Noise Cancelling - Blue

Amazon -

Give the gift of peace and quiet when you grab these expensive-looking noise-cancelling earplugs. They have a low-profile design and soft silicone tips (in three sizes) that make them so comfy that they can even be worn while sleeping. And because they reduce noise by up to 35 decibels, they’re also great for wearing to loud events, like concerts and baseball games.

• Available colors: 7

Zipper Pulls That Are Super Versatile

OXT Zipper Pull Lock (6-Pack)

Amazon -

These zipper pulls make it easier to grasp tabs on backpacks, luggage, and just about any zippered item. They’re constructed from strong zinc alloy and have dual-ended clips that are also ideal for keeping zippers closed. The pack of six includes two neutral colors and is so affordable that you can grab a few sets for convenient last-minute gifting.

An Electric Lighter That’s Totally Windproof

REIDEA Electric Candle Lighter

Amazon -

Small, inexpensive finds like this genius electric lighter prove that amazing gifts don’t have to cost a ton. Whether lighting pillar candles or barbecue charcoal, the long shape and windproof arc flame are sure to come in handy. And it won’t ever need a fuel refill since it’s USB rechargeable.

• Available colors: 7

An Anti-Theft Wallet Made From Genuine Leather

Oak Leathers Slim Wallet

Amazon -

Gifting a new wallet is always a good idea. This shockingly inexpensive wallet is crafted from genuine leather and features a slim design for maximum comfort, yet it has multiple compartments for storing credit cards, cash, and more. But the genius thing about it is that it’s equipped with RFID-blocking technology that helps safeguard against electronic theft, making it a perfect choice for travel, too.

• Available colors: 27

A Digital Tire Pressure Gauge That’s Super Accurate

AstroAI Tire Pressure Gauge

Amazon -

Get a tire pressure reading almost instantly with this digital gauge. It’s incredibly accurate — within one PSI either direction — and the backlit LED screen is easy to read, even if it’s dark outside.

A Light Therapy Lamp With A Portable Design

SUXIO Light Therapy Lamp

Amazon -

This light therapy lamp will be a literal life-changer for people who spend a lot of time indoors or who live in an area with a less-than-sunny climate. The LED lights are designed to mimic sunlight, helping with everything from sleep to seasonal moods. The surprisingly inexpensive USB rechargeable lamp has a convenient touch control panel, three brightness settings for personalized care, and a slim design for portability and easy storage.

A Sleek Charging Pad That Powers Devices Fast

Knild Magnetic Wireless Charging Pad

Amazon -

Powering up devices is so easy with this wireless charging pad. It has a foldable design and quick-charging capabilities, so you can charge up to three devices at the same time. It’s compatible with MagSafe phone models and can even charge through most cases. The second panel is perfect for AirPods and an Apple Watch Guys will appreciate this practical gift, but it’s so convenient that you might one for yourself, too.

• Available colors: 5

A Multi-Purpose Car Cleaner With Thousands Of 5-Star Ratings

CAR GUYS Super Cleaner Set

Amazon -

Boasting a 4.6-star rating after 24,000 reviews, this multi-purpose car cleaner is another must for anybody with an automobile obsession. The nongreasy formula is safe and effective for cleaning a wide range of surfaces — including rubber, leather, and canvas — and can even remove stubborn tree sap. The affordable set includes a soft microfiber cloth, so recipients can get started shining up their car’s interior and exterior right away.

Charcoal-Infused Washcloths That Also Exfoliate

myHomeBody Dual-Textured Exfoliating Washcloth (3-Pack)

Amazon -

Level up your shower with these dual-sided washcloths built for a squeaky clean. Infused with charcoal fibers, one side gently scrubs and cleanses, while the other exfoliates skin to eliminate roughness. Just hang them by the loops to dry after use.

A Portable Stainless Steel Pour-Over Coffee Maker

Coffee Gator Pour Over Coffee Maker - 10.5 oz Paperless, Portable, Drip Coffee Brewer Pour Over Set w/ Glass Carafe & Stainless-Steel Mesh Filter, Black

Amazon -

Anybody who has high daily brew standards will love this affordable pour-over coffee maker. The stainless steel filter sits securely over cups of different sizes (as well as the included glass carafe), and has a fine mesh design that is perfect, grounds-free cup of Joe. And since it requires no electricity or paper filters, it’s a great find for keeping at the office.

Vehicle Gap Fillers To Stop Losing Items Down There

Edotim Car Seat Gap Filler (2-Pack)

Amazon -

Stuff always manage to fall in that black hole between your car’s front seats and center console? Utilize these gap fillers to resolve this issue. They’re elastic for a snug fit, and each one (two come with) has built-in storage for spare change, your sunglasses, and more.

A Bike Bag With A Waterproof Phone Case

ROCKBROS Bike Bag

Amazon -

This shake-proof bike bag is a great deal and a great gift for men who enjoy cycling. The pouch features a waterproof screen protector with a sun shield and sensitive touch capability, plus carbon fiber construction for maximum durability and protection. It also has a zippered compartment for storing wallets, tools, keys, and more.

• Available colors: 4

A Fan-Favorite Cold Brew Maker That Holds Over 5 Cups

COFFEE BEAR Cold Brew Coffee Maker

Amazon -

You can’t go wrong with this cold brew coffee maker that’s not only inexpensive but also makes an amazing (and less acidic) cup of Joe. It features a large thermal shock-resistant glass pitcher and a fine mesh filter core, which means it makes a big batch that busy guys are sure to appreciate. And it’s dishwasher-safe for effortless cleanup. With a 4.6-star rating after 4,000 reviews, it’s a fan favorite for a reason.

Soft Cleaning Cloths For Glasses & Screens

MagicFiber Microfiber Cleaning Cloth (6-Pack)

Amazon -

These versatile microfiber cleaning cloths are a practical, low-cost gift that are sure to get a ton of use. The soft material is gentle enough to use on everything from glasses lenses to tech screens. And they work so well that no cleaning sprays are needed to effectively wipe away fingerprints, oils, and lint. With six in the pack, there’s one for every surface.

A Nike Belt With A Built-In Bottle Opener

Nike Essentials Single Web Belt

Amazon -

This Nike golf belt is a classic that can match with so many outfits, making it a great gift. Available in black and gray, it’s constructed from 100% cotton with a tight yet flexible weave and features a metal buckle that’s not only stylish but also easy to adjust. Most impressively? It has a built-in bottle opener in the back.

A LEGO Chrysanthemum Plant That Will Last Forever

LEGO Botanicals Chrysanthemum Building Set

Amazon -

Guys of all ages will have so much fun turning this LEGO set into a realistic-looking chrysanthemum, complete with bendable leaves, as well as a stand, pot, and pebbles. And since LEGO’s are timeless and practically indestructible, the budget-friendly set will outlast any real plant.

A Modern Nail Care Set For Men

Insaizom Manicure Set

Amazon -

Unless your man is getting weekly manicures and pedicures, chances are their nails could use a little love. And this deluxe nail care set with a faux leather storage pouch is just the thing for the job. It includes all of the essentials, and even an angled nail cutter and reusable nail file — all crafted from durable stainless steel with a modern black finish.

A Slim Cooler That Fits In Golf Bags

NATURAL STYLE Cooler Sleeve

Amazon -

There’s nothing like breaking for an ice-cold drink while on the putting green, which is exactly what makes this affordable cooler sleeve a must-have for golfers. The long, narrow design slides right into golf bags, and the high-density thermal insulation material keeps drinks chilled for hours. It also has a comfy strap for convenient carrying.

• Available colors: 5

A Sprayable Deodorant Powder For The Nether Regions

HAPPY NUTS Comfort Powder Spray

Amazon -

The name of this private area powder should be explanation enough, but in case you need a little more info, just know that the sprayable talc powder helps prevent chafing, sweating, itching, and odor. In other words, it’s a must for every man. It’s a good thing that the long-lasting bottle is available at a budget-friendly price, so you can gift it on repeat.

Comfy Crew Socks That Come In So Many Sports Themes

Hot Sox Sports and Athletics Crew Socks

Amazon -

Whether you're shopping for a golfer, pickleball player, or basketball fan, these sports-themed socks are sure to delight. They’re made from a cotton-polyester blend for a comfortable feel that’s equal parts breathable and sweat wicking. Plus, they’re highly popular, with a 4.7-star overall rating after 2,000 reviews.

• Available styles: 16

Budget-Friendly Cable Labels For Better Organization

Wmiwulien Cable Labels (240 Pieces)

Amazon -

Electronic cords and chargers a mess? Use these cable labels to set up an organized labelling system. Included are 240 labels in eight colors — each one is temperature-resistant and waterproof — for less than $5.

A Wooden Sudoku Board With 100 Puzzles

BOHS Wooden Sudoku Board Game

Amazon -

Enjoy 100 different Sudoku puzzles on this wooden game board — no constant erasing required. Included are all of the tiles needed to set them up, plus a convenient drawer in the base for storage.

A Snowflake Multi-Tool With 18 Functions

Desuccus 18-in-1 Snowflake Multi-Tool

Amazon -

This snowflake-looking multi-tool has a whopping 18 different functions, including a bottle opener, various screwdrivers, Allen wrenches, and more. Each one weighs next to nothing, so you can hang it from your key ring.

A Night-Light & Clock Combo That Plugs In For Power

One Fire Clock Nightlight (2-Pack)

Amazon -

This plug-in night-light comes with a remote control that allows you to adjust settings like the color temperature, brightness level, and more. There’s even a timer function. As a bonus: This pick shows the time in the middle.

A Cat-Tastic String Light Strand

Impress Life Black Cat Decoration String Lights

Amazon -

This isn’t your average string light strand — it’s covered in 3D light-up cats in colorful hues. Use the included remote control to turn it on and off, plus tweak settings like the brightness and lighting mode.

A Magnetic, Folding Chess Board For Games On The Go

FanVince Magnetic Folding Chess Board

Amazon -

If you're shopping for a chess player, they'll love this travel-size board that lets them play matches no matter where they go. The magnetic design helps ensure no pieces are lost, whether you're playing at a park or in the back seat of a car. The board folds up to just 10 by 5 inches, and all the pieces can be stored inside.

Phone Wrist Straps So You Don’t Shatter Your Screen

XCHKRM Phone Wrist Strap

Amazon -

These phone wrist straps boast a special locking mechanism, ensuring that your phone won’t topple to the ground (and probably break) should you drop it. They’re simple to install, comfortable to use, and ultra-sturdy.

Vehicle Door Handle Protectors That Stick In Place

GEneric Car Door Handle Protectors

Amazon -

Guard your car’s handles from scratches, dings, and other damage with these stick-on protectors that are totally transparent to blend in. They’re universal by design (fitting many types of vehicles), and they’ll last a long time.

If there’s one thing that’s wildly helpful to keep in mind heading into this final stretch of the year, it’s that the holidays aren’t just one day. Right now, we’re in the warm-up period, getting ready for what’s ultimately a months-long marathon of hosting, gift-wrapping, card-writing and cozy holiday cheer. So while, sure, there may be bags of half-eaten Halloween candy currently littering your countertops, it’s time to start thinking about the stuff you need to do (and buy) now to max out the holiday merriment and minimize the holiday stress.

What most of us have learned the hard way, of course, is that personalized gifts need a little extra time to make and ship. Placing those orders now gives you the head start you need! But also, why save all the good stuff for December anyway? We here at Scary Mommy are big believers in gifting early, both to ourselves and the people we love, especially when it’s stuff that’ll get used all season long, like matching PJs for every hot cocoa night and puzzles to work on as the weather turns.

We’ve rounded up what we’re buying now so that the holidays can be more about the fun stuff and less about the December scramble.

“Holiday Wreaths” Photo Wrapping Paper

“Holiday Wreaths” Photo Wrapping Paper

See On Walmart -

I love the idea of giving personalized wrapping paper at the holidays. It's charming, it's unique, and it's very specific. When else would you do this — and actually use what you buy? — Kate Auletta, Editor in Chief

Personalized Paper Napkins

Personalized Paper Napkins

Mark & Graham -

These are very chic little cocktail napkins that make a great hostess gift throughout the holiday season. They come in a variety of patterns, and while, sure, are more than I normally spend on such a thing, they make a nice gift whether you're headed somewhere for cocktails, for Thanksgiving, or beyond. — Kate Auletta

Personalized Holly Frame Doormat

Personalized Holly Frame Doormat 22" x 36"

Pottery Barn -

Forgive me, but I'm at the age where I have more than one doormat. I even have a Halloween one outside right now. It spruces up your outdoor space in a second and makes a nice gift too. I just love coming home to a welcoming doormat; sue me. — Kate Auletta

In The Grid Personalized Notebook

In The Grid Personalized Notebook

Papier -

If I had a nickel for every personalized notebook I had... I'd have about $3. But still, the point remains: A personalized notebook makes a great gift. You remember who gave it to you as you open it to start using it, and, as someone who is a chronic pen-and-paper girlie, I just love them. They make a great gift year-round, but especially at the holidays. — Kate Auletta

Tartan Quilted Tree Skirt

Tartan Quilted Tree Skirt

Mark & Graham -

I have a love-hate relationship with tree skirts. They're incredibly annoying, but incredibly useful. But I do love a tree skirt with character, and this one has it in spades. I love the idea of giving a newborn family a monogrammed tree skirt they can use for years to come. Such a sweet gift! — Kate Auletta

Nautilus Custom Puzzle

Nautilus Custom Puzzle

Nautilus Puzzles -

I'm a puzzler, especially when it gets cold outside. I love the idea of doing a thick wood, personalized puzzle that will remind you of the moment captured, as well as the person or family who gave it to you. It makes a lovely gift, promise. — Kate Auletta

Hand-Painted Ceramic North Pole Mailbox Coin Bank

Hand-Painted Ceramic North Pole Mailbox Coin Bank

Mark & Graham -

Ok, how friggin' cute is this? My kids no longer believe in Santa, but I almost want to buy this for our house. It's a great thing to whip out as the holidays — and the gift requests — amp up. Read their letters and write personalized notes on Christmas Eve while drinking eggnog. Win-win. — Kate Auletta

Holiday Icon Scalloped Hand Towel

Holiday Icon Scalloped Hand Towel

Mark & Graham -

I care about my guest bath maybe more than I care about my own. It's, like, my space. As such, I love the idea of giving monogrammed towels for the space that you can whip out, especially at the holidays. They'll get used, and they're great quality. — Kate Auletta

Christmas Tree Pillows

Christmas Tree Pillows (1 Piece)

Shein -

Call me a Boomer, but I love switching out throw pillows for each season. And I adore these tree pillows, which are not only affordable but can sit prettily on your couch for months. They're a lovely gift, or if you're feeling selfish, a lovely gift to yourself. — Kate Auletta

Multicolor Ornament Christmas Pathway Markers

Multicolor Ornament Christmas Pathway Markers

Lowe's -

Any house that can pull off an outdoor lights display at the holidays is fine by me. What I love about these is that, sure, you can buy them for the winter holidays, but you can reuse them for Halloween, the Fourth of July, or a random Saturday. They're just so fun, especially if you have kids. You can't go wrong. — Kate Auletta

Magnetic Me Holiday PJs

Magnetic Me Holiday PJs

Magnetic Me -

One of my absolute most favorite holiday traditions is seasonal PJs! When our kids were little, we would always get them matching sets like these super festive, cozy ones from Magnetic Me. The fact that these feature magnets for easy, over-the-head dressing is a huge bonus. Buy them now so you can be cute and coordinated for every holiday movie night and hot cocoa sipping session. — Julie Sprankles, Deputy Editor, Lifestyle & Entertainment

Old World Christmas Sisters Sisters Ornament

Old World Christmas Sisters Sisters Ornament

Old World Christmas -

White Christmas stans, rise! Old World Christmas hand-blown glass ornaments are genuinely heirloom quality, with that gorgeous old-fashioned detailing and rich color that makes them look like they came from a European Christmas market rather than an online cart. This one is specifically for sisters, which makes it an incredibly thoughtful gift for a sibling, a best friend who is basically a sister, or honestly just yourself if you have a sister you want to think of every time you see it on the tree. The kind of ornament that starts a tradition and gets passed down eventually! — Katie Garrity, Senior Editor, News & Social

Canon Selphy Photo Printer

Canon Selphy Photo Printer

Canon -

We have had so much fun with our mini photo printer from Canon — and it's a perfect thing to get before the holidays get rolling. I love taking pictures during a party or event and then handing out hard copies as our guests go out the door. It's such a good, simple party favor. You can also set up homemade photo booths! — Sarah Aswell, Deputy Editor, News & Social

Slice Wrapping Paper Cutter

Rotary Scissors Cutting Tool by Slice, 6 Pack

Amazon -

Do yourself a favor TODAY and buy this Slice tool for cutting wrapping paper. I swear it saved me 7-10 business days while wrapping. I literally hide it from the rest of my family. And while you're at it, buy the Slice box cutter, too. They both make my life easier and happier. — Sarah Aswell

Chef's Choice Knife Sharpener

Chef's Choice Knife Sharpener

Chef's Choice -

Before the turkey is steaming on your holiday table... before you need to chop one thousand vegetables for the party, run every knife in your kitchen through this electric knife sharpener. I bring this baby out right before the holidays start and sharpen everything that isn't nailed down in my kitchen, and it almost feels like self-care. Using a sharp knife makes so much more of a difference than you think! — Sarah Aswell

Enbrighten Outdoor String Lights

Enbrighten Outdoor String Lights

Amazon -

This is what I've been looking for! I love having cafe lights strung up around my porch for entertaining during the summer — what if they could just MAGICALLY turn into holiday lights for Halloween and then Christmas? Now they can. These programmable lights mean that I am not constantly putting up and taking down lights — the colors just change with the season, in whatever configuration you'd like. — Sarah Aswell

Cedarwood Soy Wax Candle

Cedarwood Soy Wax Candle

Amazon -

Nothing gets me and my house in the holiday mood quite like having a few really nice candles ready to go. I stay away from the sweeter smells of Christmas and gravitate for ones like this: evergreen and forest smells that are bright and crisp and cheery (even if you opt for a fake tree for your house). — Sarah Aswell

National Parks Advent Calendar Puzzle

National Parks Advent Calendar

Amazon -

This combines so many of my interests: puzzles, national parks, and advent calendars! I love that this one involves an activity and that it doesn't result in a bunch of cheap junk in your house that never leaves. — Sarah Aswell

Jane's Agenda Stationery Train Case

Jane's Agenda Stationery Train Case

Jane's Agenda -

I love holiday cards, but actually writing them and addressing the envelopes can start to feel like too much of a task, especially with all the other stuff going on around the holidays. I love putting all of my cards, stamps, pens, and stickers in this little case and carrying it with me — I can get a few cards done wherever I am, whether it's my kid's ballet lessons, a doctor's waiting room, or a lunch alone. — Sarah Aswell

Harmonies Board Game

Harmonies Board Game

Amazon -

I am really trying to focus my holiday season around activities and togetherness over material things. One great way to do this is to get a few new board games that are super family-friendly. I love this one because it is still playable for kids on the younger side, but it's fun for adults, too. It's also just really pretty and magical and fun — you create lovely worlds with cool animals, for points of course. — Sarah Aswell

Auri Shaping Dress

Auri Shaping Dress

Body by Miraclesuit -

Before the holidays start, get yourself a go-to party dress that you can throw on without thinking for whatever occasion. My favorite this season is this dress by Body by Miraclesuit in dark green. You can literally just throw it on and run out the door, and yet it looks so pretty and flattering. And like any good holiday dress, you can elevate it really easily with some heels and jewelry or dress it down with a cardigan and flats. — Sarah Aswell

There are a million cards to send and gifts to wrap, a double batch of cookies to make for that school party, and all the while your mom is guilt-tripping you for not bringing your family to their house for the holidays. The end of the year can be stressful mentally, emotionally, and logistically. While we all know we should buy gifts ahead of time instead of waiting for the last minute, present shopping is hardly the only source of holiday stress nagging at moms this time of year. Scary Mommy asked Kati Morton, LMFT, licensed marriage and family therapist and author of the forthcoming book Why Do I Keep Doing This? Unlearning the Habits Keeping You Stuck and Unhappy, what we can do starting now to make the holidays easier on ourselves.

1. Start conversations about holiday expectations now.

Text your girlfriends and ask if you’re exchanging gifts this year, or if you know you’d rather not, say so (money’s tight for everyone right now!). Call up your family and your in-laws and let everyone know where you’ll be spending the holidays, how long you can stay when you visit, and any other plans that may have caused confusion or hurt feelings in the past.

“Let them know all the things that you’re wanting and all the things that you can and cannot do so that there’s less upset later. We don’t want there to be any assumptions that people have or expectations that aren’t met because one of my favorite quotes, and I forget who even said it, is expectations that are not communicated are resentments in the making,” says Morton.

(Editor’s note: This quote, “Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments,” is from The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships by Neil Strauss.)

2. Send a boundary-setting text.

Once you’ve decided on what you’d like to do for the holidays and how much you’re capable of, make that clear to your relatives.

“‘Just so you know, Mom, we’re only able to stay two nights this year. Was looking at our calendar for Thanksgiving, that’s what we can do,’” Morton says. “Or, ‘I’d love to host, but I’m going to need everyone to bring a dish.’ Or texting all your siblings or friends or whoever: ‘We’re going to keep gifts under $50 this year.’ One text could save you weeks of stress later.”

3. Find things that calm you down and practice them now.

If you know your uncle always brings up politics at the table and you’re going to need to take a few deep breaths to hold back your fire-breathing rage, don’t let that moment be the first time you practice calming yourself down. Find what actually makes you feel better (Morton says a lot of people genuinely hate breathing exercises) and practice it in advance.

What helps you feel better? Is it deep breathing or is it just doing a little body shake? Is it going for a walk? I personally love qigong; it makes my anxiety just calm down. Try some things out now so that we’re not trying a coping skill for the first time at Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas Eve,” she advises.

4. Figure out the mental load of the holidays now, and get real with yourself about delegating.

Morton recommends sitting down and making a list of all the tasks involved in making the holidays happen. You’re going to Thanksgiving dinner but need to bring a dish. Do you have to be the one who shops for the ingredients, prepares it, and washes up after? When gift shopping, are you the only one in the house who can determine a budget, choose gifts, physically go to the store or sit down to order them, and then wrap them?

“Often women, especially mothers, take on all the tasks when a lot of that can be offloaded,” she says. “You can delegate to your spouse, to your other children, to other people in the family for certain things.”

5. Practice saying, “Let me think about that and get back to you.”

Or, “Let me check my calendar and get back to you.” We often feel pressured to say yes to things in the moment — party invites, family visits, volunteer tasks — and then we feel overwhelmed by them later. Get in the habit of not saying yes right away, but giving yourself space to get back home and figure out how saying yes will actually fit into your life.

6. Get very detailed with your calendar.

Yes, add the cookie exchange at work to your cal, but you should also add the time you’ll need to bake the cookies the night before, Morton says.

“I don’t think we often consider all of the labor involved in saying ‘yes’ to something. If we’re like, ‘Oh yeah, I’ll go to that potluck party where I not only have to bring a dish, but then I also have to bring a gift that’s $30 or less,’ those things take time,” she explains. “When are you going to go get that gift? When are you going to get the food and make that thing or buy that thing? Having a calendar where you start recognizing travel days or prep days, that really allows you to block off some days for rest so that we don’t overcommit.”

7. Schedule downtime like you schedule everything else.

“We schedule parties and all sorts of other things for our kids and our families. What are you going to do for you? Are we making sure we have downtime?” Morton asks.

If you see two weekends in a row where you’ll be traveling, maybe you set aside the weekends before and after to rest and regroup, for example.

8. Be honest and clear about your holiday budget.

Before you buy anything for anyone, truly sit down and look up the things you want to buy for everyone and get an idea of the cost. Many of Morton’s patients feel stressed over money this time of year — who doesn’t? — and getting real with yourself about what you can afford before you start spending anything can prevent a lot of stress come January, she advises.

9. Journal about what you want this holiday season to be like.

Morton admits this sounds a little therapist-y, but she makes a strong case for why it would help. Getting a clear idea now of whether you want a full and busy or slow, relaxing holiday season helps you say yes and no to the right things. If you’re a people-pleaser, maybe this looks like just making a list of things you won’t do this year.

“Maybe you’re not sending holiday cards this year, or maybe you’re not going to attend every party. Maybe you’re not making six side dishes for that gathering. Put that list out somewhere where you can see it this time of year,” she says.

If you’re someone who visits home and always leaves feeling worse than you did before, it’s worthwhile to journal about why that might be.

“Something that has been helpful for me is to recognize, looking back on old holidays, what role you play in your family and if you want to do that or not,” Morton says. “Are you always the peacekeeper? If you’re the eldest daughter, you’re probably the responsible one running around and doing all those things — do you want to play that role? Whenever you go home for any extensive period of time, even if you’re a full-fledged adult, you revert back into being a teenager and you fall into a specific role that you held. Just noting that ahead of time can save us all the stress of being like, ‘Why is it so horrible every time I’m here?’”

This week’s confessions make one thing abundantly clear: the ratio of what women say out loud to what they are actually carrying around isn't close. Not remotely. Of course, that’s kind of the whole premise of this column, right? It’s not about the salacious bits or the scandals, although those are often quite juicy. It’s about the gap. That distance between the version of you that shows up in the car rider line at your kid’s school pickup and all the plates spinning in your head. Moms come here to share those clandestine parts of themselves.

This week, they laid bare all kinds of tricky things going on behind the scenes. Like what it feels like when you try to cut off your toxic mother, only for her to bounce back as if nothing happened. Or realizing, after taking a long look at your marriage, that the only difference you’d notice if you left your husband would be the money. One mom admitted she’s financially drowning despite having a “comfortable” income, and quite a few others confirmed that perimenopause is, indeed, a b*tch. And, because this is the confessional after all, more than one affair makes an appearance.

There’s good news too, like the mom who finally found a decent man and the one who’s hitting her stride in her 50s.

But whatever you’re hauling around that nobody in your life knows about, well, there’s probably a mom here who has confessed some version of it. So, here’s this week’s batch, shared anonymously by moms who needed to let it all out.

Scary Mommy Confessions are a tried-and-true part of what makes our site so fun. If you want to anonymously confess, look for our weekly callouts on Instagram. And to browse past Confessions, take a look here.

I was raised to be a nice girl, the good girl. The perfect storm of cultural conditioning, conservative Christian upbringing, and being the eldest daughter. Cue Taylor Swift.

Even as a child I was a people pleaser, trying to make sure those around me were happy (and happy with me). This especially took place in my home, where, as I grew older, I constantly felt like I was walking on eggshells, trying to avoid causing conflict and often staying quiet even when things were bothering me.

Adebisi Gbadamosi, licensed therapist and the founder of Mindful Blooms Counseling, says that often how good girls present in childhood, especially in school, is reflected in how they eventually function as adults. “[They] got the label as the teacher’s pet…[They] followed directions the first time,” notes Gbadamosi, “They would say a lot of, ‘I can’t do that.’ And it wasn’t always because they weren’t allowed to do that; they were like, ‘oh, I can’t, that would be wrong, or that would be scary.’”

For me, perfectionist tendencies began to emerge in school as I tried to do everything the “right way.” I was a rule follower. The quiet one who hardly spoke up. But I constantly felt like my efforts weren’t good enough and that I wasn’t good enough.

“Good girls” to “good moms”

I grew into an adult who was uncomfortable with conflict and felt responsible for others' emotions. I suffered from low self-esteem, which didn’t help my plight to stand up for myself against mistreatment, even by people who were supposed to be my friends. Years of keeping my emotions and my opinions stuffed inside stifled my voice and also contributed to my struggles with my mental health. And when I became a mom, it became even more challenging.

Licensed marriage and family therapist Samantha Grimes sees these patterns pop up frequently in her female clients. Especially in moms, who are often so busy taking care of the needs of everyone in their households that they neglect their own. And it is something that she has experienced as well.

“Growing up, there was a lot of ‘take care of other people’s needs before your own.’ I think that led to a lot of people-pleasing, a lot of being treated like a doormat for a while, and a lot of codependency,” says Grimes. “Then as a mom, once I had my kids, they obviously had really strong needs. I also have a disabled child, and she has higher needs as well. I found myself taking care of my kids, taking care of my husband, all of this to the point of burnout.”

Express lane to burnout

Just like I was focused on doing everything in my life “the right way,” I also wanted to do motherhood the right way. And with a tiny human I wanted to not only keep alive, but to thrive, it felt like there was little margin for error. Everyone had strong opinions on the right way to mother, from giving birth to feeding to sleep. And as my daughter grew older, the pressure of being the default parent who cared for most of her needs was overwhelming.

Many of the women Gbadamosi works with initiate therapy when they hit that burnout point, of not knowing who they are outside of what they do as career women and/or as mothers.

“They did what they were supposed to do, but something feels off, whether they don’t feel like they’re at peace, or like they’re missing something,” she says. “They will come in kind of confused and sometimes feeling like they were misled, or even lied to.”

And we were lied to. Because the sexist cultural and religious conditioning to be a good girl that takes on others’ needs and never says no, while great for everyone around us, leads to emotional and physical exhaustion.

Grimes notes that her clients who were raised with the good girl mentality often struggle with:

• Overinflated sense of guilt
• Porous boundaries
• Inability to say no
• Feeling overcommitted
• Frequent fatigue
• Lack of identity
• High anxiety
• Perfectionism
• Irritability
• Building resentment and anger
• Feeling overstimulated
• In more severe cases, substance use and eating disorders

Listen to your body

When I began to recognize these traits myself during my own therapy, I realized that I was spending a lot of time focusing on what others needed or wanted from me to the neglect of my own needs. Grimes believes many moms struggle to identify their own needs and even what their bodies are telling them.

“One of the things I teach is a lot of mindfulness skills to be aware of somatic activation. So noticing, ‘Oh, my chest is tight, or oh, I’m getting really hot,’” says Grimes. “These things are signals of either anxiety, frustration, resentment, or discomfort. Something is happening, and I think a lot of women tune that out.”

She believes learning to check in with ourselves like this can help us address needs or discomfort before they bloom into rage or resentment. Getting practice in saying no is also key to being able to set boundaries for yourself and preserve your sanity.

It can start with the small things. If you don’t have time to volunteer or bake cookies for a class party, you can sign up for cups and napkins or catch the next sign-up (because there is always a next one). Or, if your kids want to go to the park and you are exhausted, you can suggest an alternative activity you can do at home. None of these choices make you a lazy or bad mom.

Ask for (specific) help

As for those things we can’t say no to, or the moments we still feel overwhelmed (because we all have them), we can do our best to enlist help and keep asking for it. Because as much as we want others to recognize that we are drowning and offer to help, sometimes people need direct assignments or requests. We all need a robust support system, which can include therapists, doctors, friends, family members, coworkers, neighbors, childcare providers, and partners.

If your partner is not pulling their weight, the best thing you can do is delegate. Gbadamosi feels this is a good area to tolerate discomfort, which can be challenging for good girls who want to fix everything or have everything just right.

“Being the primary caretaker, there’s the very real thought that if I don’t do this, who’s going to?” says Gbadamosi. “It’s not going to get done, or it may not be at my standard… Do I just do it myself so that it’s done properly, or do I let someone else handle it, and maybe have to redo it?”

Falling back on “I’ll just do it myself” can let weaponized incompetence thrive. After all, your partner won’t learn how to do things if they don’t get practice. Delegating to others can also help build flexibility in our tendency to think there is an exactly right way to do every task, even if it’s uncomfortable in the moment.

Because we are used to managing others’ feelings and avoiding conflict, negative responses to our newly set boundaries, delegating, and no’s can also result in distress and discomfort. Grimes says it’s important to remember that a negative response doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong, but that the person has benefited from you being boundaryless.

“When you’re keeping the peace, you’re sacrificing your own. So, the only person that you’re making comfortable is that other person,” says Grimes, “So, building distress tolerance [is important]... when someone is attacking you for a boundary that you set, or guilting you.”

Raising our girls differently

While I’m still working on short-circuiting those good girl tendencies within myself, I know I don’t want to raise my own daughter with those values. I don’t want her to go through life feeling responsible for others' feelings and hesitant to express her own. I have been intentional about distinguishing between being nice and being kind, and respecting her no’s as much as possible.

With her own daughter, Gbadamosi has tried to have ongoing conversations that encourage her to recognize her inner voice and make decisions that are true to that.

“Remember that toddler stage when they’re always asking why? I try to practice this myself, but asking them, ‘What made you decide to do that?’ And really having that conversation about their reasoning,” says Gbadamosi. “So that way, if they’re starting to [make] decisions out of expectations, instead of it being true to their character, then you can… have the conversations and help them implement healthier boundaries by showing them when it is and isn’t appropriate.”

Grimes also believes it's important to model in our own interactions how we want our daughters to be treated. This includes having them see us set boundaries around our bodies, what we say yes and no to, how we are spoken to, and then how we respond to others when our boundaries aren’t respected.

“It could [also] be increasing empathy. Like, ‘Hey, that person’s upset. Why do you think they’re upset?’” she says, “[Focus on] creating a sense of empathy and understanding without having to fix it. A big part of conflict avoidance is fixing it so that you’re more comfortable.”

I stopped posting photos of my son on social media almost four years ago, after my husband and I found out one of his college teammates had been charged with possessing and distributing child sexual abuse material. While we had no reason to believe our son’s photos were part of his cache, the fact that he followed my husband on Instagram made us all too aware that our private profiles still didn’t magically make sharing our son’s image online safe. Sometimes the predator isn’t a stranger, and they already follow you.

In the following days and weeks, we went back through our social media profiles, deleting the sun-drenched baby in a bear cub onesie captioned “my little sweet potato” and the family pictures at the pumpkin patch. We texted family members and friends asking them not to share pictures of our son online either. It felt overprotective and uncomfortable to be the only people we knew with this boundary. I imagined my friends swiping through photos after getting together with our kids and being bummed they couldn’t share the cutest of the bunch because my son’s face was in it. “Ugh, you know how she is.” (This was all in my head, by the way. My friends are incredibly supportive.)

The mass deletion also felt a little like erasing the fact that we’d ever had a baby at all, like maybe the happy glow around these moments and my entire matrescence wouldn’t just cease to exist in my digital footprint, but in my own memory. How would anyone know I was a mom at all, specifically a good one? Well, therein lies the motivation to post, for many parents.

Millennials are savvy tech users, and we’re well aware of the precautions we should take online. Most of us are not vlogging our kids’ daily routines to post on YouTube for profit. We’re snapping a pic of our kid’s first lost tooth and posting it on our private accounts, with no identifying information about their whereabouts, last name, or other risky privacy details. We know what to leave out so no one can ascertain where our kids go to school, open a credit card in their name, or guess at their future passwords.

But the magnitude of the risk of sharing at all has skyrocketed in the past year alone, thanks to AI, which can turn a completely innocent school photo of a child into the unthinkable. According to the Internet Watch Foundation, “realistic full-motion AI video content is now commonplace. In 2025, the IWF identified 3,443 AI-generated child sexual abuse videos, an increase of 26,385% compared with the previous year, when just 13 such videos were recorded.” If the AI landscape in 2026 is any indicator, those numbers (and the risk it can happen to our kids) are going to be astronomical by year’s end.

Deepfakes and AI-generated images have also become a common bullying tactic. I can’t imagine trying to survive middle school after some zit-faced twerp generated fake nudes of me based on a completely innocent photo of me from my mom’s Facebook, but it happens now.

Aside from this, there are also less tangible downsides to sharenting, ones that may or may not dissuade a parent from posting. What if your child is embarrassed by the post, now or in the future? What if they don’t want your friends from high school to know they’ve had a stomach bug all week? What if they want to be the ones to tell their grandparents what their Halloween costume was instead of you? Stolen thunder is real when you’re a kid.

We know all of these things, and still we post.

Even after so long not sharing my son online, I still feel the urge to post him. When he earns a medal at soccer, gets an adorable new haircut, snuggles up to the dog on the couch — I want to shout it all from the internet’s rooftops. Look at my kid! Tell me he’s the cutest, the sweetest, the smartest... and by extension, that I’m doing a really good job being his mom.

Research has identified a number of common reasons parents post their kids online: to chronicle life events to remember them later, to “advocate for particular parenting philosophies,” to connect with family members, to gather support from their community, and in some cases, for financial benefit. But “the desire to receive ‘good mother’ approval as an indicator of parenting skills emerges as another sharing motivation,” states a study from all the way back in 2015.

In a 2024 review of 61 studies about sharenting behaviors, researchers identify this need to be viewed as good parents as a main driver behind why we post our kids, even against our better judgment. As modern parenting demands a more intense devotion to every aspect of child-rearing — emotional regulation, developmental milestones, creating core memories — sharing snippets of our lives online has become “both a perpetuator of and a coping mechanism for these pressures,” the authors state. Posting your kid screaming in the backseat for the world to see is, at least in some small part of your brain, about getting your followers to message you in solidarity. “OMG, I’ve been there. You’re doing great, Mama.”

The same article found there is a consistent underestimation of the risks of sharenting among parents, perhaps because we are also weighing the costs of not sharing:

“In relation to children’s privacy, studies suggest that the occurrence of sharenting behavior is not related to parents’ potential knowledge of risks, digital literacy, or competencies... A UK mixed-methods study highlighted a paradox where informed mothers continued to sharent despite privacy concerns, suggesting a complex decision-making process where the psychological need for social interaction may outweigh privacy risks.”

There can be a deep shame for parents who understand all of the risks and still want to post their children (and do). What’s always missing from the conversation about sharenting, and from our own assessments of why we personally do it, is this acknowledgment that we’re doing such intensive parenting with so little support. In a world where your village is spread around the country, sharenting is a way to strengthen connection, to pull your far-flung friends and family into your motherhood journey where you need them. Having someone DM you that you’re killing it, even if it sounds stupid, can be the boon that gets you through bedtime.

Unfortunately, studies also show that while we may feel more connected for sharenting, our children don’t.

A study from 2019 found that when parents shared photos of their children to show their pride, or to archive memories, kids responded more positively. However, when the post was more about “impression management” — trying to shape others’ opinions of their parenting for the better — their children had a more negative view. Overall, “adolescents largely disapproved of sharenting. They mainly considered it as embarrassing and useless,” researchers concluded.

A focus group study from the same year, involving interviews with 46 adolescents ages 12 to 14, found that kids believed “parents should respect a couple of boundaries concerning what types of posts can be shared, how often, and with whom. Moreover, they should ask permission before actually posting about their children.”

Without the external validation of social media, I focus on the actual proof I’m a good mom: when my son says he worried about me all day because I had to get my flu shot, when he spills his guts as we lay in bed and cuddle at night, or when I ask about the rose and thorn of his day and they are “seeing you” and “leaving you,” respectively. These were the only measures of my motherhood that ever really mattered, and they’re the only ones I bother with now.

I may never be rid of the urge to share my son with the world — I’m a pretty big fan of him. But there’s immense comfort in knowing photos of my kid will be very hard to come by for bullies or creeps, and that he has the freedom to define himself as he grows up without having to navigate anyone’s preconceived notions about him because of my posts.

That said, not everyone is as lucky as I am. My family and friends have all been completely on board with our sharenting boundaries. They also all live nearby. We have a village, unlike so many other American parents. I don’t judge or begrudge anyone’s choices around what they do or don’t share of their children online. But if you’ve ever felt an uncomfortable tension around the question of “to post or not to post,” just know you’re nowhere near alone.

Listen, everyone loves a super cheesy homemade macaroni with like seven cheeses and a dash of truffle in there for good measure. But in this economy, most American families don’t have the funds to make every Thanksgiving side dish the way Bon Appétit recommends. What we really need right now are inexpensive Thanksgiving side dish recipes that deliver on flavor, feed a crowd, and don’t require you to break the budget for a random ingredient you’ll never use again — because let’s be real, chopped walnuts are not a staple in most people’s kitchens.

With that in mind, here are 16 inexpensive Thanksgiving side dish recipes your family will enjoy, and your bank account won’t begrudge.

Twice Baked Sweet Potatoes with Streusel

These twice-baked sweet potatoes with streusel topping from A Cookie Named Desire feel very elevated, but they’re not pricey to make — they just take a little more time. In the end, you’re left with sweet, crunchy sweet potatoes that are almost like little personal casseroles.

Corn Pudding

Budget Bytes’ corn pudding has a delicious cheddar crust on top that looks absolutely phenomenal. The recipe costs a little over $6 altogether, and all the ingredients — sour cream, cheddar cheese, half-and-half — are things you’ll likely use up in other recipes anyway.

Cranberry Sauce

If you’re a fresh cranberry sauce person, you probably already know that it’s pretty cheap to make. Damn Delicious’ recipe is so simple that it only takes five ingredients, and one of them is water. It’ll be ready in 20 minutes and only cost you a few bucks.

Mashed Potatoes

We need not reinvent the wheel here — potatoes are cheap, and mashed potatoes are perfect. This recipe from Damn Delicious will teach you how to make the perfect batch on the stovetop in about 45 minutes total.

Roasted Asparagus

Nothing screams fall like roasted veggies, and they don’t need much to taste amazing. All The Healthy Things’ roasted asparagus recipe seriously only calls for the veggies themselves, a little olive oil, salt, pepper, and a lemon.

Mashed Butternut Squash

OK, maybe butternut squash is actually the most “fall” vegetable of them all. All The Healthy Things’ mashed version is a little sweet, a little savory, and one you’ll be so happy you added to your table.

Glazed Carrots

Something about a mound of glazed carrots looks so fancy and festive! Damn Delicious’ recipe will help you get them perfectly tender and explains that, yes, you can totally use dried herbs to save a little money on this one.

Potato Rolls

Fresh-baked rolls are probably my favorite Thanksgiving dish on the whole freaking table, and Averie Cooks’ potato rolls are easy enough that I think even beginner bakers can handle them. She answers all the questions you may have in her post, like how to make them ahead and tips on ensuring your dough rises properly.

White Cheddar Mac & Cheese

Mac and cheese is a must on our family’s table, and Princess Pinky Girl’s white cheddar mac looks like everything you could ever want, honestly. It comes together on the stovetop in about 30 minutes with minimal ingredients, and you could then bake it with a little extra cheese or breadcrumbs on top for added effect if you choose.

Green Bean Casserole

Green bean casserole requires more ingredients than a roasted veggie side, and some recipes actually get a little fancy with it. Budget Bytes keeps it simple and classic with their take — I can taste the crispy French-fried onions now.

Roasted Brussels Sprouts

Brussels sprouts are another easy roasted veg option if asparagus isn’t your thing. Budget Bytes’ recipe is so easy and so cheap, you’ll be adding them into your weeknight dinner rotation too.

French Onion Rice

Rice and soup mix are all you need to create a super flavorful base for turkey and gravy. Princess Pinky Girl’s French onion rice only requires five ingredients and five minutes of prep, so it might be the easiest thing you make all day.

Roasted Broccolini

If Brussels sprouts or carrots aren’t your favorite, consider adding roasted broccolini to the menu. It feels a little fancier than regular broccoli but is every bit as easy to cook with. Feel Good Foodie’s recipe only takes 5 minutes of prep and a handful of pantry staple ingredients.

Fried Apples

If you’ve never had them, fried apples are so easy and incredibly delicious. Biscuits & Burlap’s recipe will walk you through how to make this Southern holiday dinner staple, but don’t worry — you’ll only need five ingredients and 20 minutes or less at the stove.

Easy Sauteed Green Beans With Garlic

I don’t think there’s an easier, cheaper side than Feel Good Foodie’s green beans with garlic. They’re fresh and tender and add a great pop of green to your table, and they require very little time to do it.

Whipped Ricotta With Honey & Truffle

If you want to set out an appetizer for guests to graze while waiting on dinner, The Stush Kitchen’s whipped ricotta with honey and truffle looks absolutely divine. Crisp up some bread slices for dipping and have the recipe link ready to share, because you will be asked about it.

What recipes are you going to make this year, price tag be damned, and which ones will you swap for a cheaper alternative?

At 25 weeks pregnant, Jules McBride and her husband, Jevon, were in a car accident that would change their lives, severely injuring them both. Jules needed an emergency C-section, bringing their daughter, Juliana, into the world months early, weighing just 1 pound, 10 ounces. Juliana was later diagnosed with a Grade 4 brain bleed and hydrocephalus.

While Juliana was fighting for her life in the NICU, Jules and Jevon were dealing with their own recoveries. Jules was in a wheelchair, while Jevon would need multiple surgeries and countless hours of physical therapy to learn how to walk again. “We were navigating an unimaginable medical crisis,” Jules says, “but leaving Juliana’s side was never an option.”

With home more than an hour and a half away from the hospital where Jevon and Juliana were staying, Jules was faced with figuring out how she could recover herself and stay close to her family. That's when a hospital social worker told her about Ronald McDonald House, a place where families can stay near the hospital while their child receives medical care.

The McBrides’ first stay at Ronald McDonald House lasted 105 days, and it gave them a place to rest and recover while staying close to Juliana. "I was scared when we first arrived because I had just left my husband and baby at the hospital, but there was also an overwhelming sense of relief knowing I was still so close," she recalls.

The Everyday Needs That Don't Stop

When your child is seriously ill, the everyday questions don't disappear. Where will we sleep? How will we eat? How do we get from the bed we're healing in to the bedside where our baby is fighting? "I was so worried about how Jules would travel between our home, the hospital, and Juliana's NICU while she was injured herself," Jevon remembers. "But Ronald McDonald House gave us a way to stay close to Juliana and eventually come back together as a family."

Jules' mother, Alison, stayed with her at the House during the first eight weeks, helping care for her while she recovered. When Jevon was discharged from the hospital, he joined them there so the family could stay close to Juliana.

Jules calls Ronald McDonald House "such a gift," providing "all the essentials of everyday life." Around daily hospital visits, they had accessible rooms and bathrooms, a place for Jevon to continue physical therapy, storage for breast milk, home-cooked meals, and somewhere to rest after long days in the NICU.

"It gave us a home near Juliana rather than forcing us to face everything separately," Jevon says. "I could visit her every day, stay close to her care team, and be present for her treatment without worrying about where we would sleep or how we would manage basic needs," Jules says.

Healing Together

Hospital life is loud and relentless. Monitors beep through the night, and the hours blur together. Jevon describes what Ronald McDonald House offered in contrast. “We had nutritious meals waiting, a place to take a hot shower, and a peaceful room away from the sounds of hospital monitors."

The House also had common areas, including one with a piano that Jevon took to. “Being able to sit in the common room and play familiar melodies helped me stay grounded while I was recovering and learning to walk again. Those moments gave me a sense of normalcy and reminded me of who I was outside of my medical journey,” he recalls. “The everyday comforts of the House helped create a space where I could focus on my family and my healing.”

For Jules, another source of comfort came from the families around her. In the evenings, after Juliana was asleep, she would return to the House and spend time with other parents who understood exactly what she was going through without needing an explanation. “They understood the fear and exhaustion of having a child in the hospital in a way that not everyone could,” she says. “Being able to confide in them helped me feel less alone.”

“Community is often built through ordinary moments,” says Katie Fitzgerald, President and CEO of Ronald McDonald House Global. “A volunteer has dinner ready after a long day at the hospital. A staff member welcomes a parent and siblings by name. Another parent understands the exhaustion of waiting for test results without needing any explanation. Siblings have someone to play with while their caregivers have a moment to breathe.”

Sharing Their Story

Now, as the first-ever Global Spokesfamily for Ronald McDonald House, Jules and Jevon are connecting with more families navigating their child's medical care and providing the same support and encouragement that others gave them when they needed it most. "You do not have to go through this alone," Jules says. "Asking for help gives you the chance to rest, recover, and keep showing up for your child.”

Jevon adds, "There is so much strength in accepting help. When your family is facing so much, support can make all the difference. Ronald McDonald House gave us the space to focus on being together and healing together."

Help More Families Stay Close

Right now, a parent is sitting in a hospital waiting room wondering where they'll sleep tonight, when they’ll have their next meal, and how they’ll manage another day away from home. Ronald McDonald House helps remove those everyday burdens and offers a community of support, so families can stay close to their child and involved in their care.

“A parent cannot focus on their child’s care if they’re also trying to figure out where the family will sleep, how everyone will eat, how to get to the next appointment, and how siblings will be taken care of. A place to rest, eat, and just be together as a family eases some of that pressure,” says Fitzgerald. “For some families who travel far or are struggling with finances, having those practical needs met can make the difference in whether their child can access that care at all.”

The McBrides know how much this support matters. Yet many families still cannot access this support when they need it. Ronald McDonald House estimates that 2.6 million families worldwide need its services, and it currently serves approximately one in four. In the U.S., it meets about 55% of estimated demand. "I still think about the other families who need our support," says Fitzgerald.

As the McBrides mark a decade since their first stay at Ronald McDonald House, they're inviting readers to help more families receive the support that made such a difference for theirs. “Ronald McDonald House helped my family stay together and close to our daughter’s care. It gave us a home, meals, and a supportive community when we were exhausted and scared,” says Jevon.

To commemorate 10 years since the McBrides’ first stay, donate $10 or more to Ronald McDonald House today to help ensure that more families have the everyday essentials and support they need to stay close to their child.

In the middle of the week of our Disney World trip, it rained the entire day. Not a little drizzle. Not an afternoon Florida shower that blows through in twenty minutes. It poured, all damn day. This was the kind of rain that soaks through everything and makes you question every decision that led you to a theme park in Florida during hurricane season.

I was upset at first, I have to admit.

And then I looked around and realized two things: I had planned this scenario! And also! The wait time for Rise of the Resistance was nonexistent.

Here is the thing about a rainy Disney day that nobody tells you until you’re standing in the puddles: the crowds thin out dramatically. The people who didn’t prepare go back to their hotels. The locals don’t even bother coming.

Disney also makes it genuinely easy to have a great day in the rain: covered queues, tons of indoor attractions, restaurants that feel cozy instead of chaotic. If you come ready, a rainy day just might be your best park day.

Here’s what I brought that made our rainy Disney day work:

Heavy-duty ponchos that don’t rip

Opret Rain Ponchos with Hood and Sleeves 2 Pack for Kids, White

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Get the good ponchos! Not the flimsy $2 disposable kind (though those can be good for water rides!). Get real ones before you go to the parks. They’re cheaper than what Disney sells at the gate, and they actually keep you dry.

Shoe covers that cinch at the ankle

20Pcs Waterproof Shoe Upper Protector,Outdoor Shoe Protection Cover, L Size

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These are totally underrated. Wet shoes at a theme park are a special kind of misery, and with the Florida humidity, good luck on them ever drying! Shoe covers mean you stay dry, and your kid doesn’t spend the afternoon complaining about soggy socks. I sold a lady on these while we shared the Skyliner, and now we’re besties.

A smooth stroller with a rain cover

BOB Stroller Rental from BabyQuip

We rented a BOB stroller through BabyQuip, and it came with a rain cover included at no extra charge. The whole experience was shockingly easy. The guy we rented from met us right in the hotel lobby for pickup and drop-off, no hauling a stroller through baggage claim or wrestling it into a rental car. If you’re traveling with a little one, BabyQuip is the move.

An actually durable travel umbrella

TUMELLA Strongest Windproof Travel Umbrella (Compact, 100MPH Wind-Tested)

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This is a no-brainer! I used our travel umbrella basically the whole time! Make sure to pack it in an easy-access spot, not buried at the bottom of your bag. And when you’re parking the stroller and heading into a queue, we keep our umbrella open for extra rain protection!

A waterproof carry-all bag

BAGSMART Faro Light Backpack 0.4

My husband carried the BAGSMART Faro backpack, which has a Level 4 water-repellent exterior. Everything inside stayed dry all day. And for the cost? You cannot beat this!

A hydrating lip product

Facecard Lip Hydrator

Okay, hear me out. Rain plus humidity plus being outside all day does a number on your skin, and the Facecard Green Line Lip Hydrator kept my lips from completely falling apart. Small, easy to throw in your bag, and it works.

The Strapsicle Clutch for your Kindle

Strapsicle Clutch

Yes, I am a person who reads in Disney queues, but I was not about to let my Kindle get wet even inside my bag, so I kept it in the Strapsicle Clutch. It’s waterproof, easy to grab, and it doubles as a crossbody, so my hands stayed free. A niche recommendation for my fellow queue readers.

Kids’ shoelaces that you won’t have to retie

BRCĒ Kids Shoelaces

Loose shoelaces are one thing; add them trailing through sopping wet puddles and forget about it. That’s a sensory nightmare! If your kid is in sneakers, these are a game changer on a rainy day specifically.

A warm, cozy car from the airport

Blacklane Car Service

This one isn’t specifically a rainy day tip, but it absolutely saved us on a rainy day. It was pouring when we landed, and instead of standing outside fighting for a rideshare or waiting for a shuttle bus, we walked straight out to a dry black car that was already there. If you’re arriving or departing in bad weather, Blacklane is worth it for the stress alone.

Listen, if you’re planning a trip to Disney. Chances are you are going to get wet. Accept it early. Make the right adjustments. Pack the right stuff, and once you stop trying to stay dry and just commit to the day, everything shifts!

The rain is not ruining your trip. The rain is clearing out the crowds and handing you a five-minute wait for the best ride in the park.

Grocery prices have only gotten higher this year, and when you’re staring down the barrel of a holiday that centers on buying a ton of food, well, that can be a little overwhelming to plan. Whether you’re a staunch Aldi shopper or you typically stick to a different grocery store, you’ll want to know about Aldi’s Thanksgiving meal deal this year. The grocery chain has curated a shopping list that will supply all the classic Thanksgiving dishes (turkey and pumpkin pie included). It’s enough to feed 10 people, and it’ll only cost you $39.

You don’t have to be a special member, bring a coupon, sign up for a rewards program, or do anything special to secure these savings. Simply bring your Aldi-provided shopping list into your nearest store or fill your online cart with these items.

What’s Included In The $39 Aldi Thanksgiving Meal

A 16-lb. whole turkey, stuffing ingredients, dinner rolls, and more. Here’s the exact shopping list to follow, according to Aldi:

These ingredients supply everything you need to make turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie, and sides of carrots, peas, dinner rolls, cranberry sauce, and sweet potatoes.

“Thanksgiving shouldn’t require a calculator or a coupon strategy,” said Atty McGrath, CEO of Aldi, in a press release about the meal deal. “At Aldi, shoppers can put a 16-pound turkey and the Thanksgiving classics on the table for 10 people, all for under $39. No hoops. Just a really good meal at a really good price.”

Beginning Oct. 14 through Nov. 25, in-store shoppers can locate these Thanksgiving meal deal items easily; their shelves will be marked with a special turkey logo. If you shop Aldi online, you can add the entire list to your cart with one click for curbside pickup or delivery.

But what about the mashed potatoes, you say? Well Scary Mommy previously rounded up some of the best inexpensive Thanksgiving side dish recipes, including one for the most perfect mashed potatoes. Tweaking your shopping list will change your total of course, but even if you just use this Aldi list as a jumping off point for your own shopping trip, it can still help you save a little moolah.

Before we left for Orlando, I thought it would be fun to have one day of our Disney World trip totally planned by my seven-year-old daughter. I had done all the other to-dos, the scheduling, the reservation-making. We had a jam-packed week, but I didn’t want to run my family’s spirit into the ground with too much.

So, I asked my daughter to tell me exactly what she wanted to do for one day at Disney World. To my surprise, she already had a list ready.

Pin trading. Character autographs. Galaxy’s Edge. A churro. Popcorn. In that order, approximately. Her list was pretty manageable. We could do this!

What I did not have on my bingo card was that my seven-year-old would completely surprise me with her dream Disney day.

To begin, we pin traded and met some of the kindest and most interesting people! There is actually a whole portion of EPCOT where people post up with their binders of pins, ready to trade with guests. She had a blast seeing all the different pins while carefully selecting which of hers to swap.

She tracked down characters for autographs with the focus and determination of a little lady who had a job to do. Then, we park-hopped to Hollywood Studios and made it to Galaxy’s Edge. She’s on a huge Star Wars kick right now, so it felt even more special since she knew every planet, every character, every droid. In Galaxy’s Edge, we absolutely annihilated some churros and bought a refillable popcorn bucket. ($2.99 refills!)

And then my daughter spotted a nice-looking bench right outside the Millennium Falcon.

“Can we just sit here for a minute?” she asked.

My feet were throbbing, so I wasn’t going to argue. So we sat down. And she just... watched. People in matching family shirts. A dad pushing a stroller with true purpose. A little kid losing her mind over a balloon. My daughter took it all in like she was watching her favorite show, completely content, asking for nothing. And I wasn’t about to interrupt her zen.

What she wanted was the bench, and the bench she would have.

Disney World is one of those rare places that works as a full sensory experience even when you’re completely still.

The music is themed, layered, intentional, and different in every land. It’s one of those things about the parks that you don’t notice until you stop moving for a bit. The smells change as you walk: popcorn near the entrance, something warm and sugary near the bakery, that distinctly humid air that hits you when you walk past the Pirates exit. The people, smiling (or kids crying), are just fully immersed in the Disney magic.

If you let it, Disney will just wash over you.

How To Let Your Kid Plan Your Disney Day

1. Set a fair budget. This can literally be any amount you want!
2. Make sure there are guidelines. Maybe you want to say, “Okay, you get one snack, one ride, one show, etc.” to make the day seem a little more doable. Also, your kid won’t get super overwhelmed with too many options.
3. Once they pick what they want, YOU HAVE TO AGREE. Remember, this is their time!
4. This works best for kids a little older. I’d say ages 7 and up is the sweet spot.
5. Have a plan B for when things go sideways (because they will!). If a ride is closed, the character they wanted has a two-hour wait, or they melt down over the snack choices. Stay calm and offer up some alternatives; you have to keep rolling along and keep expectations realistic!

I wasn't raised to talk about money. I'm an elder millennial; our parents seemed to actively keep finances very hush-hush. In fact, discussing them at the dinner table (or anywhere else) was considered taboo. From what little I knew, though, one thing was certain: making a specific amount of money would mean I'd be comfortable for life and have the white-picket fence dream we were all sold. Which is why little me from back then would be shocked to learn I hit that number I had in my head a while ago... and yet I’m not exactly living the high life.

This topic comes up quite a bit in my friend group, comprised mostly of other millennials daring to do things differently from our parents by actually talking about money. What I've learned from these convos is that a lot of us are suspended in a state of "fine but not OK, per se" financially. Sure, it might all look nice enough on paper. The mortgage payment clears. The kids have shoes that fit. Modest vacations might make their way onto the calendar. But we also live with a constant low-level dread, a feeling in our bones, that a blown transmission or surprise ER bill could level it all.

It's not that we're drowning. Not yet, anyway. But we feel like we're permanently treading water, and that doesn't feel great either.

I reached out to experts, and they shared a few different terms to describe this. Stephanie Smith, a clinical social worker and founder of the support resource The Group Guide, calls it "living without a margin." Edward Jones senior behavioral analyst Sarah Newcomb calls it "financial vulnerability." And Morgan J. Brown, a certified financial coach and founder of Your Money Project, pegs it as "financially stable on paper but emotionally living paycheck to paycheck."

I'm obviously far from the only one feeling this way, Smith says, as it's "the most common money story I hear, far more common than active crisis."

Yep, the number moved

Sigh. Remember back in the good old days when you were convinced making $100k a year would mean you'd made it? Yeah, Smith remembers that as well. "I'm a millennial," she shares. "I believed that if I ever made $100,000, I would be rich and never worry about a thing." Then she looked it up, only to discover that $100k in 1990 is roughly $256k today. So, as Smith puts it, "We hit the number. The number moved."

Newcomb, a Gen Xer, says psychologists call this behavior anchoring. We lock in the money benchmarks we learned as kids and never update them. “The benchmark changed, but nobody told them,” she says.

And before there’s even a hint of the idea, let’s dispel it: It’s not the f*cking lattes or avocado toast to blame. Eric Croak, a certified financial planner and president of Croak Capital, points to the fixed costs that snuck in and piled up: $1,500+ a month for childcare, family deductibles that used to be dramatically smaller, extracurriculars that rival the mortgage. Smith adds that housing, childcare, and healthcare have outrun wages for decades. So, the fallout is really real. “When you finally reach that number and you’re not feeling secure, it can be worse than not reaching it at all,” Croak says.

Psychotherapist Silvia Dutchevici, founder of the Critical Therapy Institute, says we’re raised to believe money outcomes reflect personal merit. Meaning, when hard work doesn’t pay off, people don’t conclude the system is broken. “Instead,” she says, “they feel ‘I am broken.’”

A slow leak can be worse than a blowout

An actual money crisis sucks; there’s no way around that. However, it usually has parameters, edges, a space that you live between for a short period of time and then move out of. But being stuck in this state of financially OK-ish is “similar to a slow tire leak.” With emergencies, Croak points out, at least there’s something to do.

"A crisis has a shape," Smith puts it. "There is a bill, a date, a decision, often a phone number to call. People rally around a crisis. Low-grade dread has no shape, so nobody rallies, including the person living it.”

Unfortunately, your body ends up footing the bill for all this worry.

“Financial stress is survival stress,” Newcomb says. And because the brain doesn’t always distinguish a physical threat from this prolonged sense of dread, your nervous system stays on high alert. When that happens, it tends to eat up the bandwidth you’d normally spend on things like creativity and fun.

Michael Schramm, a certified financial analyst and author of the forthcoming book Emotional Finance, says “tunneling” is what takes place when your mind locks onto short-term survival and burns a ton of energy doing it. One study published in Science showed that simply considering an unexpectedly high car repair bill lowered reasoning scores among lower-income participants.

Over time, that scarcity-stress pipeline becomes your new norm. “People stop recognizing stress at all,” Dutchevici says. “They think it’s just who they are: anxious, tense, a worrier.”

Why it’s so lonely

The thing is, you mostly look fine. And even if you weren’t, most of us assume everyone around us is doing better thanks to the illusion of social media. Nobody thinks to reach out or check in.

Plus, while it seems like we talk about it more, money is still semi-taboo. “We’ll talk about sex or our mental health before we’ll say what we earn and why it isn’t enough,” says Dutchevici. And she’s not wrong — in a recent National Debt Relief and Wakefield Research survey, 60% of millennials said they’d rather publicly display their weight than their total debt.

Then there’s the difference between how we live now and how previous generations did, and many of those ways don’t show up on a bank statement.

Recounts Smith: “a grandmother 10 minutes away, a neighbor who took the kids on Tuesdays, a church that noticed when you stopped coming, a casserole when things went wrong.” Today, many families live far from relatives (or are somewhat estranged), both parents work their asses off, and a lot of people aren’t familiar enough with their neighbors to expect them to pop over with a casserole. We very much feel that we don’t have the same kind of built-in support systems our parents and grandparents did.

On top of all this, many of us don’t want to say anything because “other people have it worse.” And it’s true! Still, every expert we talked to said that doesn’t cancel out your stress. “There is no dollar amount where you’re not allowed to be stressed about money,” Croak says. Smith frequently hears “I know people have it worse,” usually as an apology. The hitch, she says, is “That has never once made a nervous system stand down. Comparison is not relief.”

Erica Sandberg, consumer finance expert at BadCredit.org, keeps it short and simple: “Pain is pain.”

How to calm your nervous system

Frustratingly, we can’t count on the economy to get fixed this year. Or probably next year, either. Maybe ever. But we can make living in it feel a little less like a permanent five-alarm fire, say the experts. Their advice:

Call it out. Dutchevi suggests swapping “I’m bad with money and it makes me anxious” for “I live in an economy that makes security hard to reach, and my body is responding to that. Putting the problem where it actually belongs can bring some relief.

Plan out that worst-case scenario, all the way through. Your brain spins through about 1,000 vague what-ifs every day, so Newcomb recommends picking your biggest fear (say, a job loss) and running through it. Unemployment benefits, what you’d cut, who you’d call… whatever you might need to deal with if push came to shove. “Financial anxiety thrives on uncertainty,” she says.

Consider the two-account trick. Brown’s favorite fix for decision fatigue (aka "If I buy this, will I be able to pay that?") is keeping bill money in one checking account and moving your designated spending money into a separate one. That way you always know what you have to spend, and you know spending it won’t compromise your bills getting paid.

Build whatever mini cushion you can, whenever you can. Literally just thinking about the go-to financial advice that you should have six months’ worth of expenses saved up makes me feel like panicking. Brown encourages thinking smaller for now, pointing out that even the first $500 to $1,000 can keep a surprise from becoming a crisis.

Say it out loud to somebody in the same boat. Smith says this is the one people all too often skip (ahem, we know our parents and grandparents did!) and also the one that arguably matters most, emphasizing, “Regulation is social.” Sandberg agrees, suggesting you tell a trusted friend when you’re skipping a group dinner because you’re broke. Odds are, it’ll free them up to admit they’re stressed about money, too.

Where to get help

Pretty much across the board, the experts we spoke to recommended a combo of help: someone for the money, someone for the feelings.

• Nonprofit credit counseling. It’s free. Agencies like those in the Financial Counseling Association of America can review your budget and may work with creditors to lower interest rates and waive fees, says FCAA President Martin Lynch.
• A certified financial planner, analyst, or coach. You want someone reputable and trusted who can give you real (and realistic) numbers based on your current financial situation.
• A therapist who can help if stress is affecting your sleep, mood, or relationships. Schramm points to cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and Croak notes there is such a thing as certified financial therapists, too.
• Your people. Smith says what many of us are missing is a village: “You can not prescribe one, but you can rebuild a piece of it on purpose.” Her free directory, The Group Guide, lists peer support groups by topic and state.

And remember, you don’t have to wait until things fall apart. “No one has to be in crisis to reach out,” says Croak.

You can’t judge a book by its cover — and you can’t judge a product by its price tag. Take it from me: I’ve been writing about products for over a decade, and some of the coolest housewares I’ve tried cost next to nothing. These are undeniably the bougiest, most useful home upgrades you can make for under $20. They elevate, organize, and personalize your space, and your guests will have no idea you’re decorating on a budget.

A Jumbo Soup Mug That’s Microwave Safe

Chubacoo Jumbo Ceramic Soup Bowl with Lid

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Thanks to its 38-ounce capacity and Mediterranean-inspired print, this jumbo mug looks way more expensive than it is. That said, it’s also built for practicality: Its dishwasher- and microwave-safe ceramic can baking individual appetizers in the oven, eating ice cream while watching TV, or storing leftovers in the fridge or freezer — especially since it comes with a vented, leak-proof lid.

Modular Drawer Organizers Made From Felt

Welaxy Nordic Felt Desk Drawer Organizer (8 Pieces)

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Instead of plastic, these Nordic-inspired drawer organizers are made from soft, sustainable felt. They prevent clattering noises when used with office supplies and scratches when storing your jewelry, watches, and other valuables. This set of eight includes various shapes and sizes so you can arrange the modular pieces as desired for a custom-like fit.

A Handmade Ceramic Dispenser For Little Cups

YHOJOY Bathroom Cup Dispenser

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Turn your Dixie cups into decor with this bathroom cup dispenser. Handmade from ceramic and available in several gorgeously glazed shades, it holds a stack of 3-ounce disposable cups for mouthwash, post-brush rinsing, water breaks, and taking supplements and medication. It also has a U-shaped opening for easy retrieval and refilling.

A Glass Infuser Mug That’s Stovetop-Safe

DOPUDO Glass Tea Cup with Infuser & Lid

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Despite its delicate appearance, this tea infuser mug is surprisingly durable and functional. Its borosilicate glass construction can be placed in the microwave or straight on the stove, while its infuser insert has a fine-mesh strainer so you can steep loose-leaf or blooming tea straight in the cup. It’s also dishwasher-safe for convenient cleanup.

Magnetic Shelves For Spices, Tumblers, Lids & More

HuggieGems Magnetic Shelves (4-Pack)

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Maximize your kitchen storage without breaking out a single tool. These magnetic refrigerator shelves are made from rust-resistant metal with strong magnets along the back, so they can hold ingredients, spices, snacks, reusable bottles, and tumblers. This set of four also includes movable hooks for utensils and a rack for tumbler lids.

A Battery-Powered Lantern That Slips Between Books

WAZNFYV Mini Bookshelf Lamp

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Add vintage-inspired whimsy to your reading nook while illuminating your titles for easier browsing. This mini bookshelf lamp slips between two books with its iron plate and uses batteries to power its hanging LED lantern, which casts an amber glow across the spines. “Looks even better in person,” wrote one reviewer who called it “elegant,” “cozy,” and “well-made.”

A Wireless Doorbell With 52 Ringtone Options

LUAMB Wireless Doorbell

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If your home doesn’t have a hard-wired chime box, you can add one in seconds with this wireless doorbell. The battery-operated button is made from weather-resistant material and mounts outside your door using an adhesive sticker or screws. The receiver plugs into an outlet and works from up to 1,000 feet away, plus you can choose from 52 ringtones and five volume settings.

Protective Drawer Liners That Come In Multiple Scents & Patterns

Linda's Essentials Scented Drawer Liners (10-Pack)

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Yes, these water-resistant drawer liners protect your furniture and come in several colors and prints — but they also keep your clothing, bedding, and toiletries smelling lovely. The material is infused with a fresh linen scent, or you can opt for other fragrances like lavender, chamomile, rose, and jasmine. Cut them to size and lay them in place without the need for adhesive.

A Pumpkin Ramekin You Can Put In The Oven

FYUEROPA Pumpkin Ramekin with Lid

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Cook, bake, and serve your favorite fall recipes in this pumpkin ramekin, which elevates your tablescape and makes any dish feel infinitely more festive. While its glossy sheen and gold-tone stem make it look purely decorative, the temperature-safe porcelain can handle the oven, the microwave, the refrigerator, and the dishwasher.

A Hanging Organizer To Create Closet Cubbies

YOUDENOVA 4-Tier Hanging Closet Organizer

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Add hanging shelves to your closet rod with this four-tier hanging organizer, which comes in four colors. Each cubby has bamboo sticks and a sturdy board to maintain its structure, so you can store bulky clothing, towels, shoes, and other accessories. It also has two metal hooks for durability and a side pocket for storing smaller items.

Stylish Kitchen Towels That Absorb Water Really Well

RECYCO Waffle Kitchen Towels (Set of 2)

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Tired of hand towels and dish rags that move moisture around and take forever to dry? These tea towels “actually absorb water!” wrote one reviewer who called them “worth the price.” They’re made from absorbent microfiber with a quick-drying waffle weave, and they come in dozens of cute prints to complement your bathroom or kitchen.

A Rechargeable Bird Light That’s Also A Diffuser

YM Dragon Bedside Lamp

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Place this bird lamp on a shelf or table with its detachable wooden stand, or hang it from a hook, bedframe, or branch using the keychain-style clip. It’s USB-rechargeable for cord-free illumination, and it has a tiny hole on top that diffuses your favorite essential oils. Its light-up tummy also has three color settings and three brightness options.

Acrylic Wall Mounts For Pet Cameras & More

OAPRIRE Acrylic Floating Wall Shelves (Set of 3)

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Mount baby monitors and security cameras in the ideal spot with these small floating shelves. Made from transparent acrylic, they’re durable and discreet, plus they come with cable clips to organize wires and double-sided adhesive stickers to secure the camera right-side up or upside down. You can also use them to hold other small electronics, like speakers, virtual assistants, and electric toothbrush chargers.

A Flat-Plug Power Strip That’s “Brilliant”

TESSAN Flat Plug Power Strip

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This power strip has a near-perfect 4.8-star average rating, and one reviewer raved, “This is brilliant.” Its flat plug fits behind furniture, its slim cord redirects power up to 5 feet away, and its six-in-one design provides two USB-A ports, one USB-C port, and three AC plugs on all different sides to accommodate bulky charging bricks.

A Cushioning Non-Adhesive Rug Pad That Actually Grips

GORILLA GRIP Gripper Rug Pads

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“We have kids and a big goofy dog,” said one reviewer whose rug was constantly sliding around, but this rug gripper pad fixed the issue once and for all. Using a grippy, gridded design instead of adhesive, it adds cushioning, absorbs noise, and keeps mats, runners, and area rugs firmly in place. While it comes in tons of shapes and sizes, you can also cut it for a perfect fit.

Celestial Suncatchers That Feel Magical & Whimsical

ilclviz Crystals Suncatcher (6 Pieces)

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“The perfect addition to my kitchen window,” one reviewer wrote about these crystal suncatchers, which elicit “a magical and whimsical feeling while I’m doing mundane kitchen stuff!” Each of the six gold-tone strands contains celestial-inspired charms, geometric shapes, and crystal prisms that cast mesmerizing rainbows around your space when the sun shines through them.

A Plug-In Pendant Light That’s Easy To Hang

SoodMi Plug-in Pendant Light

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Add a lighting fixture virtually anywhere without cutting holes in the sheetrock or messing with the electrical. This plug-in pendant light has a 15-foot cord, a metal shade in your choice of several colors, and an E26 base that’s compatible with most bulbs. It even comes with two screw-in hooks for mounting. The exposed wire adds to the industrial vibe, plus it has an in-line switch for convenient control.

Arched Wooden Shelves That Double As Wall Decor

Artilady Boho Floating Shelves (Set of 2)

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With their Art Deco-inspired arches and natural wood construction, these floating shelves function as both eye-catching decor and wall-mounted storage. Hang them in your bathroom to hold air freshener spray and extra rolls of toilet paper, in your living area to display plants and picture frames, or in your entryway to catch keys, mail, and sunglasses. The hooks on the back make them easy to mount.

A Glass Foaming Soap Dispenser That Looks Like Decor

zuxzmj Glass Foaming Hand Soap Dispenser

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Replace that plastic soap bottle with a reusable container that doubles as decor. This foaming hand soap dispenser is made from thick, tinted glass with an elegant embossed texture. Press the wide pump to dispense a rich lather straight into your palm. Its 13.5-ounce capacity means fewer refills, while its foaming mechanism is compatible with most pre-mixed refills, tablets, and DIY soap mixtures.

An Affordable Knife Set With Incredible Ratings

Astercook Knife Set (13 Pieces)

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Get an all-new set of knives for an incredible price — and don’t let the affordability factor fool you. They currently have an average 4.8-star rating from over 6,600 reviewers. The dishwasher-safe set includes six different carbon-steel knives with matching sheaths and kitchen scissors. “I can't believe how good these knives are,” wrote one reviewer who called them “so sharp and easy to use.”

Waterproof Covers To Protect Your Pillows

Niagara Waterproof Pillow Protectors (4-Pack)

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Mattress protectors are a brilliant way to safeguard your bed, but what about your pillows? These zippered pillow protectors are 100% waterproof to prevent dust, sweat, and unwanted odors from seeping into the filling. They come in a set of four for an incredible price, and they’re soft, quiet, and machine-washable for comfort and easy upkeep.

A Handwoven Rattan Basket That Looks So Elevated

Oavostd Rattan Wicker Basket

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Fruit, bread, eggs, candy, nuts — whatever you serve in this rattan wicker basket, it’ll look infinitely more elevated on your countertop or tablescape. Each one is hand-woven from tropical rattan without any paint or chemicals, and you can choose from three sizes, with or without a wavy rim. You can also use it as a shelf basket or a catch-all bowl for entryway essentials.

A Bedside Water Carafe & Cup Set For Welcoming Hydration

DmmyAlzx Bedside Water Carafe & Glass Set

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Meet your hydration goals before bed, help your guests feel right at home in their temporary bedroom, or store your mouthwash in style. This water carafe holds up to 21.6 ounces and comes with a matching lid that doubles as a tumbler. It’s made from lead-free glass with an embossed arched pattern that makes it feel expensive and elegant.

Abstract Artwork That Holds Your Clutter

WENSHUO Abstract Ceramic Holder

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Decor that doubles as organization adds style to your space while helping you corral your clutter. This abstract holder looks like modern artwork, but its hollow interior and sturdy base make it great for storing pens, pencils, makeup brushes, eyeglasses, remote controls, and more. Since it’s made from ceramic, you can even use it as a vase.

Flickering LED Bulbs That Look Like Real Flames

KEMINO LED Flame Light Bulbs (2-Pack)

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I use these flame bulbs in my outdoor light fixtures to give the front of my home a spooky feel during Halloween and a cozy vibe during the holidays (one that doesn’t outshine the rest of my decorations). While they look like realistic lantern flames, they use LED lights that save energy and remain cool to the touch. Screw them into virtually any E27 sockets to transform your indoor and outdoor lights.

An Acrylic Cutting Board That’s Sleek & Easy To Sanitize

MEWSDEN Acrylic Cutting Board with Counter Lip

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This unique cutting board is crafted from food-grade acrylic, making it shatter-resistant and easy to sanitize to prevent cross-contamination. It also has a sleek aesthetic that complements modern kitchens, and its L-shaped design hugs the corner of your countertop, keeping it securely in place and protecting the edge from damage.

Adhesive Bins You Can Install Almost Anywhere

Lae Nuvole Wall Mounted Storage Bins (2-Pack)

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Mount these storage bins in the kitchen to hold ingredients, in the pantry to store produce and snacks, in the bathroom to stash sponges and toiletries, above your art desk to organize supplies, or in your kids’ room to corral toys. The included adhesive strips stick to most smooth surfaces without any drilling, or you can stack them inside cubbies and on countertops.

A Hanging Macrame Basket For Fruit, Toys & More

yuuzue 3-Tier Macrame Hanging Basket

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Get your produce off the countertop and turn it into a stunning display feature. This macrame hanging basket has three tiers of wood-rimmed bowls woven together with cotton rope. The plush tassels add texture and charm, while the wooden ring allows for easy hanging. You can also use it to store towels and toilet paper in the bathroom, toys in the kids’ room, or hanging plants on the porch.

The Best Hand Towels For The Money, According To Reviewers

REDKISS Striped Hand Towels (3-Pack)

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When it comes to bougie home upgrades, a little luxury goes a long way. These striped hand towels are made from 100% cotton that’s plush and absorbent. Each one has a reversible striped pattern, so you can choose the palette that best matches your bathroom or kitchen. “Best towels for the money,” one reviewer raved. “They are so thick and they look like I spent a fortune on them.”

A Rechargeable Ceiling Light That Looks Hard-Wired

GOEBLESON Motion Sensor Ceiling Light with Remote

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Add overhead lighting to any room without worrying about wiring. This motion-sensing ceiling light looks like a hardwired recessed fixture, but it’s actually rechargeable for up to 13 hours of wide-angle illumination. Use the peel-and-stick magnetic plate for easy yet removable mounting, and customize the ambiance with three color temperatures and stepless dimming.

A Sleek Display Riser For Perfume, Makeup & More

Lifewit Tiered Display Riser

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Turn your perfume collection into a sleek display with this tiered riser. Made from transparent acrylic, its four shelves assemble without tools, while its 9-inch height lets you peruse your entire selection at a glance. You can also use it to store and display makeup, skin care serums, nail polish bottles, spices, or collectible figurines.

Mess-Free Packets That Turn Flames Rainbow

Magical Flames Colorful Flames (10-Pack)

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Make your next firepit unforgettable. These color packets contain non-toxic compounds that turn the flames a magical, mesmerizing rainbow. Each one is designed to last for over an hour, and the packets burn away without residue for a mess-free experience. You can use them on any wood-burning fire, including fire pits, campfires, and indoor fireplaces.

A Silicone Under-Sink Mat To Contain Spills

MIFADFAO Under Sink Mat

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Line your bathroom or kitchen cabinet with this under-sink mat to protect the wood from plumbing leaks, makeup mishaps, and spills from cleaning products. It’s available in several measurements to fit most standard cabinet sizes, and it’s made from silicone with a grippy texture and raised edges to contain moisture.

Reusable Drink Sleeve For Dry, Comfy Sipping

Xumbtvs Reusable Iced Coffee Sleeves (3-Pack)

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Say goodbye to cold hands and wet cup holders. These drink sleeves come in a set of three sizes to fit virtually any to-go cup. They’re made from thick neoprene to absorb moisture and insulate against temperature, and since they’re washable and reusable, they’re way more eco-friendly than single-use sleeves. Choose from dozens of cute patterns.

A Big, Shiny Spoon Rest That Only Looks Expensive

VanlonPro Stainless Steel Spoon Rest

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Thanks to its solid stainless-steel construction and generous size that fits most oversized utensils, this spoon rest looks like it cost a pretty penny. In actuality, it’s shockingly cheap, and it comes in several shiny metal finishes to match the hardware and appliances in your kitchen. Use it to keep drips off your countertop and throw it in the dishwasher when you’re done cooking.

Peel-&-Stick Floral Wallpaper That’s Moody & Elegant

Vintique Peel & Stick Floral Wallpaper

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Equal parts elegant and moody, this floral wallpaper helps you transform a space on a budget and with minimal mess. Its peel-and-stick backing doesn’t require any glue, while its vinyl surface is thick, waterproof, and easy to clean for convenient upkeep. It’s also removable for renters, and you can use it on furniture, drawers, and appliances, too.

A Sunset Projector For A Dreamy Golden-Hour Vibe

Tsrarey Sunset Lamp Projection

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Customize the color and brightness of this sunset projector lamp using the inline switch or an app on your phone. Using a rotatable glass lens, it creates a circular illumination for a dreamy golden-hour effect. “Instantly changes the atmosphere of the room,” wrote one reviewer who loves “having different colors to choose from depending on the mood or the type of photos or videos I want to create.”

A Pretty Bath Mat That’s Also Functional

Casasphere Scalloped Rug

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With its scalloped edges and sky-blue trim, this luxurious mat gives your bathroom a cute, coastal vibe. You can also choose from several other color combinations to match your aesthetic. The plush microfiber is soft, absorbent, and machine-washable, while the anti-skid backing grips your floors to prevent slipping and sliding.

Insulating Bowl Huggers Reviewers Can’t Live Without

LIBERHAUS Microwave Bowl Cozy Holders (4-Pack)

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“This is one of those items I didn’t know I needed and now can’t live without it,” one reviewer raved about these bowl cozies. Their rounded shape fits most plates and bowls up to 7 inches in diameter, while their quilted insulation protects your hands from burns. That way, you can hold leftovers straight out of the microwave or a hot serving of soup right off the stove.

A Whimsical Night-Light That Turns On Automatically

L LOHAS LED Night Light

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This plug-in night-light is way more whimsical than your average lamp. Its dual-sided design casts sparkly beams of warm-white light in both directions, illuminating your space while remaining eye-friendly. It also has a built-in dusk-to-dawn sensor, so it turns on automatically at night and off during the day to save power, and you can choose between three brightness settings.

A Shower Caddy That Installs With Suction Cups

LEVERLOC Removable Shower Caddy

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Once you stick most shower caddies to the wall, they’re not coming off anytime soon. This self-draining shower caddy uses strong dual suction cups instead of stubborn adhesives, so you can remove it for cleaning or repositioning. Its tool-free installation takes mere seconds, and it’s durable enough to support up to 22 pounds of bottles, sponges, and cloths.

A Mattress Protector That’s Fully Waterproof

BEDLORE Waterproof Mattress Protector

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Protect your mattress against spills, sweat, and accidents. This deep-pocket mattress cover comes in several colors and sizes, including less common measurements like twin XL and queen RV. Even though it’s 100% waterproof, it’s noiseless and breathable for comfort, and you can wash it in the machine and tumble-dry it on low.

Rechargeable Lights You Can Mount Anywhere

MCGOR Under Cabinet Lighting (2-Pack)

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Get custom under-cabinet lighting without hiring an electrician, or automatically brighten up dark closets and hallways. These rechargeable light bars come with magnetic adhesive brackets, so you can stick them anywhere and remove them with ease. They also have five brightness settings and an optional motion sensor, so they turn on automatically when you approach and turn off when you leave.

A Mini Label Maker That’s So Easy To Use

Nelko Label Maker Machine

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I gifted this label maker to my fiancé (a videographer and tech nerd) for Christmas, and he spent the entire morning labeling all his equipment. It connects to an app on your phone via Bluetooth, so you can design custom stickers and wirelessly print them on demand. You also get a roll of thermal sticker paper, which is smudge-proof and way more affordable than ink.

A Chic Shower Curtain That’s Washable & Waterproof

Siiluminisoy Textured Shower Curtain

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With its textured chevron pattern, tassel trim, and linen-like fabric, this tufted shower curtain looks a lot more expensive than it is, helping you elevate your bathroom on a budget. It also has a waterproof coating to repel moisture, metal grommets for durability, and a gentle weight to prevent billowing. Get it in tons of sizes and colors (all machine-washable) to suit your home.

Ceramic Coasters That Are Shockingly Absorbent

Lahome Marble Style Coasters (Set of 4)

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These round coasters use a mix of geode-inspired patterns to create a stunning sunset design, and their ceramic construction soaks up spills and condensation before they can damage your furniture. They also have a cork base to prevent slipping and scratches, plus they’re easy to clean and large enough to accommodate most mugs, tumblers, and cups.

A Wired Wall Sconce You Can Install Virtually Anywhere

NOTOC Retro Wall Sconce

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Install this industrial metal wall sconce over artwork to illuminate your favorite pieces, in your reading nook or work area to help you stay focused, or on either side of your bed to replace bulky nightstand lamps. It’s compatible with most E26 bulbs (sold separately), and its long cord has an in-line switch for easy control. Best of all, it rotates over 300 degrees, so you can point the beam wherever you need it.

A Couch Cover That Doesn’t Feel Like A Compromise

hyha Protective Couch Cover

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This isn’t your grandmother’s couch cover. Its velvety fabric and quilted, cushioned interior protect your sofa against pet fur, scratches, spills, and stains — all without compromising on style or comfort. It also stays in place thanks to its grippy backing, and you can machine-wash the whole thing to keep it looking and smelling fresh.

A Mug Warmer That’s The “Best Invention Ever”

KitchekShop Mug Warmer

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If you like to sip your morning beverage slowly throughout the day, this desktop mug warmer is the “best invention ever,” said one reviewer who would “give it 10 stars” if they could. Its large, fast-heating plate fits most mugs, while its four settings let you customize the temperature, so your coffee or tea stays hot until the last sip. It’s also easy to clean and has an automatic shut-off with adjustable timer settings.

Colorful Bowls That Are Virtually Unbreakable

HOTEC Unbreakable Bowls (8-Pack)

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Add color to your indoor and outdoor tablescapes without having to worry about chips, cracks, and shatters. These unbreakable bowls are made from wheat-straw fiber with reinforced rims and sturdy bases. They’re also BPA-free, dishwasher-safe, microwave-safe, and heat-resistant up to 212 degrees Fahrenheit. This set of eight includes all different shades, or you can opt for solid-color sets.

A Stunning Corner Shelf For Plants, Books, Or Frames

Artilady Corner Shelf Hanging

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Turn an empty corner into a lush plant display, a cozy reading nook, or a mini gallery filled with picture frames. This floating corner shelf combines two pine-wood platforms with macramé-style cotton rope, complete with tassels and wooden beads. It’s easy to install with a nail or hook (sold separately), and its two-tier design is sturdy enough to support up to 20 pounds.

Sustainable Cork Leather Organizers For Any Room

HOMIEAZICOZI Cork Leather Pen Holders (2-Pack)

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Made from cork leather in your choice of virtually any color, these storage containers add sustainable organization to any room in your home. Use them to store office supplies on your work desk, pencils and markers in your art area, makeup brushes on your vanity, or remote controls and eyeglasses next to your bed. They’re waterproof and easy to assemble, plus they lay flat when they’re not in use.

A Travel-Friendly Case That Holds 7 Days Of Pills

Sequence Pillar 7-Day Pill Case

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Despite its sleek profile and TSA-approved design, this compact pill case holds up to seven days of medications, vitamins, and supplements. Each daily compartment holds several pills, and its slide-out case makes for leak-proof storage on the go and easy accessibility when it’s time to take your medication. Made from wheat-straw plastic, it’s durable and dishwasher-safe.

A Soothing Shower Lamp That’s Also A Projector

Tedmos Waterproof Shower Lamp

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“Adds the coziest ambient light to my shower,” wrote one reviewer who uses this two-in-one lamp “instead of the harsh overhead light for a moodier, spa-like feel.” It’s waterproof and rechargeable with 16 color options, and if you remove the shade, it turns into an aurora projector that casts swirling patterns on the walls and ceiling.

Adhesive Slide-Out Trays For DIY Drawers

SOUJOY Under-Desk Slide Out Trays (3-Pack)

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No desk drawers? No problem. Create your own with these adhesive slide-out trays. They stick to the underside of most tabletops to provide pull-out storage for pens, pencils, scissors, charging cables, and other office supplies. You can also use them beneath shelves to maximize vertical space or under your vanity to store makeup.

A Cable Management Box That Looks So Chic

FABROK Cable Management Box

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Even if everything else is clean, cord clutter can make a space look messy and chaotic. Stash your power strip and cords in this cable management box to neaten up your work area or charging station. Its oval shape and fluted texture make it look like chic decor, but it’s made from fire-resistant material with side slits for wire routing and a lid for stacking.

A Magnetic Shelf That Turns Your Stovetop Into Storage

AWOKE Stovetop Shelf

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Smart organization often involves turning an otherwise unused space into accessible storage. This stovetop shelf does exactly that by utilizing the top of your stove’s control panel to hold salt, spices, condiments, oil bottles, and more. Its 30-inch size fits most flat-top stoves, while its magnetic base clings to metal surfaces without tools or damage. The silicone construction is also easy to clean, scratch-proof, and heat-resistant.

Metallic Wine Glass Markers That Wash Off

GAINWELL Wine Glass Markers (8-Pack)

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These wine glass markers don’t just make your next gathering more fun. The non-toxic ink lets your guests mark their glasses in one of eight vivid, metallic colors — but it comes off in the dishwasher, so your drinkware is good as new for next time. You can also use them to decorate ceramic plates or label wine bottles for gifting.

A Blender Whisk That Spins As You Pump

Newness Stainless Steel Whisk Blender

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At first glance, this whisk blender may look like your average whisk, but it has 10 stainless steel loops and an internal rotating device that spins the head while you pump the handle up and down. While it works without cords or batteries, it makes quick work of scrambled eggs, cake batter, gravy, custard, lattes, whipped cream, and more.

A Roll-Out Fridge Caddy With Adjustable Dividers

YouCopia Fridge Caddy

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How often do you stash things in the back of the refrigerator, only to forget you have them? This BPA-free fridge caddy functions as a pull-out drawer, so you can browse and access condiments, produce, and snacks in the back. Its rubber-coated wheels roll smoothly without scratching, while its built-in handle allows for a sturdy grip. It even has two adjustable dividers for custom organization.

A Magnetic Acrylic Board To Keep Everyone On Task

PigPotParty Acrylic Magnetic To-Do List

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Keep the whole family informed and on task with this acrylic to-do list board. Its magnetic corners cling to the refrigerator without damage, while its three checklist columns give you space to jot down to-dos, groceries, and appointments. The board also comes with eight vibrant markers with eraser caps and a cloth for full-board cleaning.

Sleek Organizer Bins That Install With Adhesive

Lae Nuvole Wall Mounted Storage Bins (2-Pack)

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These fluted organizer caddies come with adhesive hooks, so you can mount them to just about any smooth surface in your home. Install them next to your bed to hold remotes and glasses, in your bathroom to store toiletries and toothbrushes, in your pantry to organize snacks and produce, or inside your cabinets to free up shelf space. Available in clear or green, the material is food-safe and BPA-free.

A Quilted Makeup Bag That’s Cute & Romantic

uekeboag Quilted Makeup Bag

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Romanticize your next trip with this quilted toiletry bag, or use it to organize your cosmetics at home. It’s available in tons of cute, coquette-inspired prints, and each one has a roomy interior for ample storage, a mesh pouch for organization, dual zippers for accessibility, and a padded handle for easy carrying. Some reviewers also use it to store knitting materials or baby essentials.

Magnetic Racks With Bonus Hanging Hooks

Sevenblue Magnetic Spice Racks (4-Pack)

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These magnetic spice racks clear up space in your cabinets and keep your favorite seasonings handy while you’re cooking. They attach to your refrigerator, microwave, or other metal appliances using strong magnets, and their large-capacity design holds most bottles, jars, and containers. This set of four also includes movable hooks for hand towels, oven mitts, and utensils.

A Jewelry Stand With 4 Tiers Of Storage

Lolalet 4-Tier Jewelry Organizer Stand

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If you’re sick of jewelry boxes that leave your favorite pieces in a tangled heap, this jewelry stand organizes your collection while turning it into vanity-top decor. It has 12 hooks for bracelets and necklaces, velvet-lined rolls for rings and studs, and two tiered trays for watches, perfume, and more. Its wood-and-metal construction also gives it a chic, modern look.

Iliza Shlesinger’s very first Netflix special, War Paint, was the first stand-up set that made me, a young millennial woman, feel like I was in on the joke. Shlesinger’s comedy centers women’s thoughts and experiences with a unique incisiveness I’d never witnessed before (or since, for that matter). The fact that our personal timelines have very closely aligned — from dating and going out with friends to getting engaged, wedding planning, and having kids — means that her comedy has always felt incredibly relevant to my life. She’s usually delivering precisely the punchlines I need to hear, right when I need to hear them most.

Scary Mommy sat down with Shlesinger for the first time since we profiled her in 2022, when her daughter Sierra was just months old. Now she’s a mom of two: 4-year-old Sierra and 2-year-old Ethan. She’s also the face of a new Pampers campaign, lending their latest launch her signature comedic stylings. And much to my delight (but not my surprise), she is every bit as hysterical and insightful in conversation as she is on stage.

Scary Mommy: Let’s talk about your recent partnership with Pampers. They’ve relaunched their wipe packaging with a new opening that actually dispenses just one wipe, instead of a chain of like, six at a time. And they did it because enough moms cited it as a daily frustration.

Iliza Shlesinger: Part of why I wanted to do this Pampers campaign was because I've actually experienced the thing where you grab the wipe and there's multiple wipes just connected to each other. And when they pitched it to me, I was like, "Oh, I am that mom." And they're like, "We fixed it.”

Life isn't supposed to be hard. In a world where everything is met with an AI chatbot and you cannot get someone on the phone, the fact that a whole corporation listened and they were like, "We're going to make it easier," because it does feel like a lot of time the whole objective is to make parenting as hard as possible and to make life for women as hard as possible. So I think as a woman, I'm just like, "The fact that someone listened meant everything."

Now, if only children's furniture companies would also listen to us because I cannot read these Dutch instructions and use an Allen wrench one more time. I cannot do it anymore.

SM: What are some other unexpected little frustrations about parenting that have irked you along the way?

IS: Oh my God, little? I think there's this weird pull of wanting your child more than anything, thinking about them, of being obsessed with them, being so in love with them, and yet really not wanting to be around them. Parenting is having your heart broken and split open and being in love with someone and being like, "I just need someone to take you every 15 minutes from me." So it is this really strange push-pull of the second I'm with them, I'm like, "Can you just go watch TV because I need to check my phone?" Yeah, I've never been so deeply obsessed.

SM: And I'm going to look at pictures of you while I do it, but go over there.

IS: That's exactly right. I'm going to look at a picture of you when you were younger and you didn't have an opinion on something random.

SM: I was going back through some of your recent clips from Ask Iliza, and I love the one where your kids bust in on you filming and you’re having to parent on camera and help them make amends. You went on to say nothing makes you feel like a bigger loser than filming and having your kids come in. Why do you think parenting in front of people or on camera feels so… bad?

IS: Anytime you're trying to do something other than parent and then the parenting world comes sledding right in, you're like, no, I bought this nice camera. I'm trying to present myself as a professional who's funny and got all the answers. And then your kid's like, "I want a snack."

Parenting is unprofessional and it's unsexy. Nobody wants to see you ever take a naked selfie and your kid's toys are in the background. It's like, oh, that's a bummer. There should not be anything sexy about kids. It really is two separate worlds, and you have to keep those separate also for deep legal and moral reasons. But I think our kids show, in a weirdly beautiful way, the ugly, imperfect parts about us because we also, and I hate that I got this from Instagram, but we also have never done this before.

SM: Probably my favorite part of parenting is the funny shit my kid says. He will just roast you on the spot without even really meaning to. What are some of the funniest things your kids have said lately?

IS: People can eat me alive for this: My child does not have a phone. She does not have an iPad. But she sees Mommy has a phone addiction, so therefore she wants one. She'll hold her hand up and she'll press the buttons in her hand. And I said, “Sierra, please go clean your room.” And she says, “I can't find my room. I have to look it up on Google Maps.” And I was like, that's so painfully beautiful and awful and brilliant at the same time.

I remember wanting to have a deep connection with her when she was 2 and like, you kind of hope that your daughter has just come from a spiritual realm? I was like, “Do you remember anything from before you were born?” Just seeing if there was something there. And she just looked at me and I was like, oh my God, here it comes. She just went, “Nope, I have to poop.”

SM: I love that. OK, one more parenting question: You do some of the best riffs on cultural topics, like your HomeGoods and Costco shopping videos. What niche or trend in the parenting internet space is deserving of satire?

IS: That is a great question, and the answer is all of it. Oh my gosh, this is going to upset so many people, but I do not share my children's faces. I think the promotion of your child, constantly sharing everything about your child — not a choice I would make. There is this millennial urge to be like, warts and all, here's how imperfect it is. But even in doing that, you are still trying to show off a type of perfection. I guess I've been studying online culture long enough to not really want to do that anymore.

There is this part of me, even though I'm a comedian, that thinks motherhood and my children and this time in their lives is so sacred, I kind of want to share less of it because when you offer it up, you cast in amber what people think of your parenting and you and your children. And frankly, it's none of these lunatics’ business, so I do it quite sparingly.

There's also this one type of video where women will be like, "Let's see if my husband can outrun me," and then she'll take off running, and she's like six months postpartum and her husband who's a Navy SEAL is like, "Watch this." And I'm like, "You'd better be able to run down someone half your size and a quarter of your weight." My taxes go to that. Are you kidding me? And my whole thing is you don't see these videos being made in places like LA. “Let's see if my husband, who runs the writers' room for Ghosts, can run me down. We met at a coffee house.”

I just think we are trying to parse out as millennials wanting to feel desired and sexy and young, but also balancing parenthood. So everyone's figuring it out, but you will not be watching me run at a very slow pace away from my husband who's three times bigger than me anytime soon. I think it's so weird.

SM: What projects are coming up for you, and can I count on another special coming to a streaming platform near me?

IS: I plan to shoot an hour. I cannot give a ton of details about it because we haven't announced it yet, but it will be in 2027 and my Free Nights & Weekends tour kicks off in January. So I took a little break, very excited about that. I'm going to go entertain the troops with the USO — because that's a cause that's near and dear to me — here in a few weeks. I created a movie called Chasing Summer that went to Sundance this year and we just got our release date, so that is going to be a whole separate thing.

And then of course we have Ask Iliza Anything, the podcast, and we have Slow Sunday. As a creative person, I deeply believe in constantly creating art and letting all the beautiful things in life, frustrating or not, affect and inform the art that I make.

SM: My last question before I let you go is this: Our readers (and me too soon) are squarely in perimenopause territory right now. Can we expect any perimenopause jokes or bits from you in the future?

IS: God, every fiber of my being wants to be like, "I'm not in perimenopause. I'm just really juicy and I'm thinking about having five more kids." For me, it's less about the perimenopause of it and more about the middle ages, as I call it. A lot of my standup now is about deeply exploring the thoughts and feelings that I thought were unique to me at this age. But the more I speak to women my age, I'm realizing we are all in this together. So I do want to shine a light on that.

I am working on a joke right now about how I don't like talking about perimenopause, not because it's embarrassing, but because I can't get a word out without some woman named Barbara who's actually in menopause kicking the door down and being like, "Just you wait, it gets worse." And I'm like, "Let us elder millennials just experience some mood swings and light night sweats without you telling me how you cracked your pelvic girdle sneezing, Susan.”

This interview has been lightly edited for length and clarity.

Raising a kid is a series of crash courses — from clipping teeny-tiny fingernails to defusing tantrums, you name it. And when your little one has eczema, it can feel like taking a class in which you’re (somehow) both the student and the teacher.

When my older daughter first started showing signs of eczema as an infant in the form of itchy, rashy skin, I didn’t think it was that big a deal, mostly because no one in my family had it. But now that I’m three years in, I’ve learned that helping manage my daughter’s eczema isn’t just a matter of slathering on lotion and calling it a day. There’s a lot more that goes into keeping her skin healthy on a daily basis, and into making sure she feels comfortable and capable no matter what.

​Tricky? Sure. But it’s worth the extra effort. “Managing eczema with your child rather than simply managing it for your child is the key,” says John Browning, M.D., a double board-certified pediatric dermatologist in San Antonio, Texas. “The earlier we can help children take ownership of their skin, the more likely they are to develop good habits that translate into better control over the long term.” With that in mind, here are the parenting tweaks that can help.

​Take their complaints seriously.

When my daughter tells me an area on her body is itchy, I have a process: We go a little slower after bath time so she can point out all the spots where she’s itchy. I’ll also ask her if her skin is bothering her if I notice her scratching her neck or back during the day. That way, she knows that discomfort is not (and shouldn’t be!) the norm.

​Joceyln Gandelman, M.D., a board-certified dermatologist in New York, does the same, encouraging her daughter “to show me areas that itch and have eczema and help identify which areas need cream,” she says. If it doesn’t seem like the area actually needs a medicated cream, “then I put Vaseline on instead — and I gently let her know that one looks okay, but will get Vaseline,” she says. That way, her daughter can learn to tell eczema from healthy skin.

​Let them pitch in.

My daughter has been dealing with mild to moderate eczema since she was about six months old, so she’s used to our post-bath moisturizing routine. As she’s gotten older, though, she’s wanted to do the latter on her own — so I give her a dab of moisturizer to apply herself. I do it because she asked, but it turns out, it’s actually a good thing: Having kids help can build a link between their eczema routine and comfortable skin. “I like to help children understand the connection between using their treatment and how their skin looks and feels,” says Browning. “Over time, the goal is for the child to take pride in caring for their skin.”

​And Gandelman, for her part, empowers her daughter by teaching her the names of all of her eczema creams. She also ties the medications into learning the alphabet, making it feel more fun and even educational.

If your kid’s resistant, frame it as a “this or that” situation. “For example, a parent can choose two good moisturizers and let the child decide which one they prefer,” says Browning. He also recommends asking whether they want to apply a topical medication in the morning or at night, or if they want you or them to apply it. “This gives children a sense of control without making treatment optional,” he explains.

​Make a game plan for flares.

For the most part, moisturizer is all we need to keep my daughter’s eczema under control. But when she does have a flare — usually after swimming or in dry weather — we have a plan to step it up: Right after her bath, I apply her topical medication first, then lock it in with a lotion, then follow up in the morning with more moisturizer.

​“Some children do experience unpredictable flares from heat, sweat, or environmental exposure,” says Browning, who stresses that eczema shouldn’t keep kids from doing things they like, like playing outside. “In those situations, having a plan — such as showering or bathing after an activity or using an appropriate moisturizer to help with itching — can give them the confidence to keep doing the things they enjoy.”

Know your own limits.

Most parents know atopic dermatitis can be an at-home game, from applying moisturizer after a (not too hot) bath to using a mineral-based sunscreen that won’t potentially trigger a flare. But if I’ve been moisturizing the same area for several days with no improvement, then I’m calling in the doctor. There’s only so much I can do as her parent — who is, notably, not a doctor — so I need to be cognizant when something isn’t working and ask for help.

I want my daughter to be able to decide when she needs to call in a pro, too. So, “if they don't like their current treatment, they should talk with their dermatologist rather than simply stopping treatment,” says Browning. “We now have many effective treatment options.” There’s no reason for me to double down on something that isn’t working when I could get my daughter comfortable more quickly instead. After all, it’s her skin — and I want her to feel good in it.

Presented by BDG Studios

If there’s anything more intimidating than a newborn baby, it might be newborn baby diapers. Newborns love to deliver a massive blowout at the worst times, the clever little darlings. They have umbilical cord stumps that sit right in the worst spot for a snug diaper fit. Then there are the different sizes of newborns — the best newborn diaper for a teeny tiny preemie just won’t fit a big ole 10-pounder who needs extra leg room for their generous thighs. You’ll change so many diapers in those early days that you’ll start dreaming about doing it in the 20 minutes you get to sleep every night.

Diapers can be your worst enemy as a new parent if they don’t work for your baby, and your best friend when they do. Here we have compiled a list of your very best friends.

How We Chose

1. Cord-stump fit
2. Leak/blowout protection
3. Availability in preemie and bigger-newborn sizes
4. Cost per change
5. Skin-safety formulation

Best Newborn Diapers of 2026

1. Best Overall Newborn Diaper: Pampers Swaddlers

• Pampers Swaddlers are the top pick for newborns in 2026, thanks to a contoured umbilical cord notch, a clever wetness indicator strip that turns from yellow to blue when baby is wet (giving tired parents a heads-up), and All-Around LeakGuard with Blowout Barrier at the back waist.
• Parents and pediatricians alike have raved about the softness of the material in these diapers, which are hypoallergenic, elemental chlorine-free, paraben-free, and free of natural rubber latex.
• As of a June 2026 reformulation, Pampers Swaddlers are now fragrance-free in every size.

2. Best Newborn Diaper for Cord-Stump Care: Pampers Swaddlers

• The AAP notes the cord-stump typically falls away in 7-21 days, and recommends 8-12 diaper changes per day, so cord-stump protection is vital in newborn diapers.
• Available in the smallest sizes (N, size 1, size 2), Swaddlers’ cord-stump cutouts help prevent chafing around baby’s healing umbilical cord-stump.
• Pampers says Swaddlers’ cord-stump cutouts offer the added benefit of keeping moisture away from baby’s belly button, exposing it to the air and helping to dry it out in those first few weeks.

3. An Option for Bigger Newborns: Rascals Premium Size 1 or 2

• Rascals Premium in Size 1 (10 to 14 pounds) or Size 2 (12 to 18 pounds) offers a more generous leg opening for bigger newborns.
• Rascals Premium features stretchy side tabs, adjustable waistbands, and stretchy backs, which the brand says accommodate bigger newborns.
• Rascals Premium diapers do not have a cord stump cutout in Size 2, so fold the waistband below the stump.

4. An Option for Preemie and NICU Sizing: Huggies Little Snugglers Preemie

• Huggies Little Snugglers come in Nano Preemie (for babies up to 2 pounds), Micro Preemie (for babies up to 4 pounds), and regular Preemie (for babies up to 6 pounds).
• Huggies says the diapers are specially fitted to stay snug on smaller legs, and they offer a cord stump cutout to help protect sensitive little belly buttons.

5. Best Newborn Diaper for Leaks and Blowouts: Pampers Swaddlers

• Pampers Swaddlers’ All-Around LeakGuard with Blowout Barrier sits at the back waist to prevent mess from spreading up baby’s back.
• Pampers says it “helps to stop leaks from every angle.”

6. An Option for Budget-Conscious Families: Rascals Premium Size N

• Store-brand diapers like Walmart’s Rascals Premium typically cost a little less per diaper than name brands.
• Rascals says its diapers have a four-layer HydroLock Core and high waistband, and are dermatologist-tested.

7. An Option for Subscription Convenience: Hello Bello

• Hello Bello sells diaper and wipes bundles by subscription, delivered on a schedule you choose and can adjust as your baby sizes up.
• Hello Bello says its diapers are “cloud soft,” made with plant-based ingredients and free of chlorine, synthetic fragrances or odor inhibitors, parabens, and soy products.

8. An Option for Premium, Eco-Minded Families: Coterie

• Coterie says its fragrance-free, hypoallergenic diapers have a “cashmere-like” cloth feel.
• The diapers feature a special cord-stump notch on newborn sizes.
• Coterie diapers are generally sold as a direct-to-consumer subscription product at a higher cost than more budget-friendly options.

Newborn Size vs. Size 1

Check the weight overlap

• Newborn diapers typically fit babies up to 10 pounds, and Size 1 typically starts around 8 pounds. So, a 9-pound baby may fit either.
• Ranges vary by brand.

Look for leg gaps

• Newborn diapers are shorter in length and narrower around the cuff.
• Gaps or leaks at the leg openings mean the diaper isn’t fitting your baby’s thighs.

Watch for red marks

• Newborn diapers often feature special umbilical cord cutouts to keep babies comfortable before their cord stump falls off.
• Red marks at the waist or thighs mean the diaper is too tight. If you see gapping or red marks, it’s likely your sign to size up.

What a Newborn Diaper Budget Really Looks Like

• Newborns need 8 to 12 diaper changes a day in the first weeks, according to the AAP. That means parents can expect to change around 56-84 diapers per week in the first month of a baby’s life, or roughly 240 to 360 diapers in the first month alone.
• Store brands generally cost less per diaper than name brands, and bulk counts lower the per-diaper cost. Pampers Swaddlers are widely available in bulk counts.
• Babies often grow out of newborn size diapers in the first 2-4 weeks, so it’s a good idea to stock up on a few packs of both size N and size 1 before baby arrives.
• Prices change often, so check current retail pricing before stocking up.

Umbilical Cord Care 101

Yes, the cord stump can look alarming, but what you’re looking at is likely normal. Here’s what really matters.

Practicing dry cord care

• Keep baby’s umbilical cord stump clean and exposed to air so it dries and falls off naturally, typically within 7 to 21 days per the AAP.
• Clean away any stool or fluids around the cord stump with a wet cotton swab, then pat it dry. Don’t use rubbing alcohol unless your pediatrician specifies it.

Folding the diaper below the stump

• Folding the waistband below the stump is an important part of dry cord care because it keeps it from rubbing and lets air reach the area.
• Many newborn diapers include a special contoured cord notch, like the one on Pampers Swaddlers newborn sizes, that makes that fold easier. (It doesn’t replace dry cord care, though.)

Calling your pediatrician if...

• You notice bleeding from the stump that gets worse, thick fluid that oozes from the stump, redness, any foul smell or tenderness, or if your baby has a fever. For preemies, follow your NICU care team’s guidance.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is a contoured-waist diaper actually better than a straight-cut for cord stump protection, or is that just marketing?

It’s all about the fit and the folding technique here. A contoured notch mostly makes it easier to fold the diaper correctly below the stump.

Should I stock up on newborn-size diapers before the baby arrives, or wait and see?

Since you can’t know exactly how quickly your baby will grow, start with one small box of newborn-size diapers to save yourself from a surplus of diapers that baby might outgrow within weeks.

My 9-pound baby doesn’t fit in newborn diapers — did I buy the wrong size?

It’s more important to go by leg and waist fit rather than the weight printed on the box. If you see gapping at the legs or red marks on baby’s waist or thighs, move up to Size 1.

Do NICU nurses recommend a specific diaper for preemies coming home?

Preemie-specific diapers for micro and nano sizes exist for babies under 4 lbs and are used in NICU settings. For babies heading home under 6 lbs, it’s best to follow the NICU’s discharge sizing guidance.

How many diapers will I actually go through in the first month?

Plan for approximately 240-360 diapers per month, or roughly 8-12 changes per day. We know. It’s a lot.

For some of us, spending time in cemeteries is a routine thing. And while you might enjoy the walking paths and the easy escape from daily conversations, there’s something else lurking among the headstones. I’m not talking about ghosts, although there might be ghosts. I’m referring to gravestone-inspired baby names.

Graveyards can provide endless inspiration for potential names for your future baby, invoking forgotten vintage names and unique spellings. In fact, earlier this year, one family went viral for strolling around their local cemetery in search of the perfect name for their newest addition. To see just how rich the naming inspo at graveyards is, a few Scary Mommy editors and I went to burial plots near us, including a few in the historic cities of Salem, Massachusetts; Charleston, South Carolina; and Savannah, Georgia. We found some serious gems, and wouldn’t using one be a nice nod to those who carried the names before?

So, if you’re looking for a name that honors the dead and celebrates the living, check out these 29 unexpected and charming baby names taken from actual headstones.

Asa

A name with Hebrew roots, Asa means “healer” or “doctor.” Captain Asa Hooper was a notable sea captain and privateer in the 18th century around Marblehead, Massachusetts, so this is a great name if you want a kind, sea-loving child.

Abbott

This name with Ecclesiastical roots means “father” or “priest,” and belonged to one Abbott Hall Brisbane — a brigadier general who now lies in Accabee Plantation Cemetery in Summerville, South Carolina. Born in 1804, Brisbane seems to have lived an interesting and illustrious life: a West Point graduate, a decorated military officer, a superintendent for the Charleston and Cincinnati Railroad, and a history professor at Charleston’s esteemed military academy, The Citadel. So, perhaps a name of acclaim?

Iver

Scandinavian in origin, the name Iver is sometimes spelled Ivarr or Ivarrs. It comes from the Norse word for yew tree. Because bows of warriors were often made from the sacred yew, the name Iver means “warrior” or “bow warrior.” Totally up to you if you want to pronounce it like the singer Bon Iver (ee-vare).

Coleta

An alternative to Colette or Nicolette, this French-inspired name means “victorious people” or “victory of the people.” A perfect name for a future Justice of the Peace, world leader, or class president.

Wilmot

A version of the more common name William or Wilhelmina, Wilmot means “protection”. Sadly, this name did not protect Wilmot Redd, who was one of the many innocent victims of the Salem Witch Trials (and the only woman accused of witchcraft in neighboring Marblehead, Massachusetts, to be hanged during the trials).

Lonelle

Looking for a fresh alternative to Leo? This gender-neutral name comes from the word lion or leon and means “little lion.”

Celestine

A divine name, Celestine is a unique version of the beautiful name Celeste. It means “of the stars” or “heavenly,” being derived from the Latin word for heaven, caelestis or caleum.

Artemus

Artemus is considered a gender-neutral spelling of its namesake, Artemis, the Greek goddess of the wild hunt. No matter how you spell it, the name connotes fierceness and warrior energy.

Vircie

More frequently spelled as Vercie, this name comes from the French word verce, which means “truth” or “truthfulness.”

Agnes

Agnes has its roots in the Greek language and means “pure, chaste, or holy.” You can call them Aggie or the less-common name Nes, for short.

Chillian

The name Chillian is a less common spelling of the name Cillian, an Irish name that translates roughly to “little church.” Though the “h” may be silent, the kid is sure to be chill. Variations include Cilian, Kilian, and Gillian.

Milda

Milda is the Lithuanian Goddess of Love, and the name is derived from the Lithuanian word for gracious. A child gifted with this name will surely be a blessing, invoking love, passion, and true grace.

Evelena

Discovered on a moss-covered gravestone at Allen AME Church Cemetery on Edisto Island, South Carolina, this name combines the classic and feminine “Eve” with more melodic names such as Helena. According to Nameberry, it’s relatively uncommon but has popped up sporadically in records dating back to the 19th century (which makes sense, as this Evelena was born just after, in 1918).

Albin

This once-popular early 19^th century name doesn’t surface as much anymore. It has Latin origins as Albinus and the variations Albin, Albe, and Albie are used more commonly in Sweden and France. The name means “white, bright, or fair.”

Conrad

Conrad Aiken was a Pulitzer Prize-winning poet, writer, and editor. It is said Aiken wanted his grave in Savannah’s Bonaventure Cemetery to have a bench so that poetry lovers could sit and drink with him in the afterlife. (Fun fact: His grave gained notoriety after being mentioned in John Berendt's book Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.) The name Conrad is of both Old English and Old German origins and translates to “bold counsel.” Aiken would also make a perfect name for a little writer-to-be, FWIW.

Eusebe

A name of Greek and Latin origin, the name Eusebe is a rarer form of the more common name Eusebia, Eusebius, or Eusebio. The name means “devout” and is based on both a Biblical and early Greek philosophical concept of exemplifying godliness and piety.

Burnet or Rhett

Want to imbue your kid with strength of character and integrity? Buried in Magnolia Cemetery, Burnet Rhett Maybank was the mayor of Charleston, a U.S. Senator, and the 99^th governor of South Carolina. During his tenure as governor in the late 1930s, he publicly fought against the Ku Klux Klan and worked to improve underserved Black schools. The name Burnet or Burnett means brown-haired. Rhett, which means “counselor” or “advisor,” is a charming name, too.

Abigail

If you love the idea of a traditional name, consider Abigail. This sweet option means “my father’s joy.” But be forewarned: it’s definitely a popular pick, so your kid will be one of many.

Elvira

Not only does it invoke our favorite Mistress of the Dark, Elvira is a name with deeper meaning as well. Some translations declare it to mean “happiness,” and others say the name invokes the words “truth or spear,” as in the spear of justice.

Maybell

There are only two words on the gravestone of Maybell Lafayette, who lies in rest at Allen AME Church Cemetery just outside Charleston, South Carolina: “loving mother.” And what a beautiful thing to mark one’s life! This sweet-as-can-be name means “lovable” or “dear.”

Emil

A masculine variant of Emily, both names are derived from the Roman Aemilia or Amelia. Depending on who you ask, the name can either connote striving and excelling, eagerness, or it translates simply to “rival.”

Delina

Delina, a Sicilian derivative of Adelina and Adeline, means “grace” and “noble one.” In Tigrinya, a dialect of Ethiopia, the word “delina” means to desire or want.

Mercer

Mercer derives from the French word merce for merchant, so the name is sometimes translated as “shopkeeper” or “vendor.” The Italian translation is similar, with merce meaning goods or wares for sale. John Mercer was a renowned musician who co-founded Capitol Records and was laid to rest in death at Savannah’s Bonaventure Cemetery.

Octavia

This imperial girl’s name was common among royal families and gained popularity during the Victorian era, especially for eighth children. Why? Because Octavia means “eighth,” of course! It’s unclear whether Octavia A. Bart was an eighth child. Her gravestone tells us only that she was a native of Boulogne-sur-Mer, France, who departed this life Aug. 19, 1871, at 18 years old, and rests in peace at the Circular Congregational Church Burying Ground in historic Charleston, South Carolina.

Evarist

Want to try to lay the groundwork for an agreeable child? Name them Evarist. Based on the Latin evaristus, this name translates to “agreeable or well-pleasing.” Other variations of this name include the Spanish Evaristo and the French Evariste. It can be pronounced “Ava-rist” or “Ev-a-rist.”

Francis

A popular, gender-neutral name, Francis means “Frenchman” or “free man.” Francis Girdler, whose grave is pictured here, has an interesting tie-in to Salem history. Before his death, he was married to Deborah Girdler, who went on to marry Ambrose Gale — a man who famously testified against Wilmot Redd, the only Marblehead woman to be hanged for witchcraft in 1692.

Goldie

It will come as no surprise that this charming name means “made of gold.” Sometimes. Used as a shortened form of Golda, you could do worse than liken your child to a precious metal or a beloved actress (Goldie Hawn).

Maxwell

Tragically, a young man named Maxwell Campbell, alongside his brother Henry, died of consumption in 1851. He was only 25, and his gravestone was erected by his “bereaved mother.” We know nothing else of Maxwell (or Henry, for that matter), aside from the fact that their lives were cut short. But perhaps he lives on in perpetuity through those who share his Scottish name, which means “Mack’s stream.”

Gracie

Little Gracie Watson is the most famous resident of Bonaventure Cemetery in Savannah, Georgia. The young girl died of pneumonia in 1889, and her ghost is said to haunt the cemetery to this day. The name Grace or Gracie means a blessing, derived from the word gratia in Latin, where we also get the word gratitude.

Doddridge

Can’t say we’ve heard this name before, making it an ideal choice if you’re looking for something super unique! This Doddridge was born in 1768 in Massachusetts and, upon his passing in 1847, was buried at the Circular Congregational Church in Charleston, South Carolina, beside an Eliza with the same last name, who we can only assume was his wife. According to Ancestry.com, Doddridge is an English habitational name.

Gotha

Want a baby goth in the house? The name Gotha is derived from Goth, and is more commonly seen as a surname. The meaning is “tribe” or “clan.” Gotha is also a city in Germany whose name in High German translates to “good waters.”

Miriam

One of the oldest forms of the name Mary, this name’s alternate spellings include Mirriam. The name is believed to be of Hebrew origin and has several possible meanings. The most inspiring one is “of the sea” or “star of the sea,” which invokes a mermaidian feel. Other meanings include “beloved” and “bitterness.”

Lavina Clarice

A once common name in Ancient Rome, the name Lavina literally means “woman of Rome.” This name gives off major girl-boss vibes and connotes strength. I also adore the name Clarice, which means “clarity” or “brightness.”

Zadok

Zadok is an underused and intriguing Hebrew name that means “just” and “righteous.” (Zadok, who died in 1836 and sleeps eternally in the Circular Congregational Church Burying Ground of Charleston, bears the last name Jesup... which would also be a cool name.)

Prudence

This classic, gender-neutral name of Latin origin means “wise,” “skilled,” or “intelligent.” Although it has tapered off dramatically in popularity since the Middle Ages, it’s seeing a resurgence thanks to TV mentions (Prudence Featherington, anyone?). Plus, the nickname “Pru” is so cute.

I’m 44, and like so many others my age, I spent my Friday nights (and let’s be honest, Saturday mornings) glued to ABC and NBC watching teen-based sitcoms. Boy Meets World was, of course, one of those shows, and one of my favorites. So when I got a chance to talk to Danielle Fishel, aka Topanga herself, I nearly peed my pants.

Like me, Fishel is now also a mom to two sports-loving sons, ages 7 and 5. And like 1.9 million other people, I follow her on Instagram to get a dose of nostalgia, a heap of funny motherhood moments, and so much more. I caught up with the actor and mom via Zoom, and suffice it to say, I had a blast. We talked about our matching Stanleys (hers filled with Metamucil fiber powder, mine with protein powder because #agingmillennials), motherhood, and what her post-cancer life looks like now.

Scary Mommy: Let’s jump right in. What's your wellness like now as a mid-40s lady?

Danielle Fishel: My wellness routine now, in my mid-40s, is very clear to me. I used to just kind of, like, waffle in and out of different trends, and now I really know what works for me, and I just prioritize it. And a lot of that's even just stuff I've learned in the last year or two. But my wellness routine really begins with the way I start my day every single day, which is waking up at least 30 minutes before my kids, because I have to have some coffee and some silence before I start my day.

SM: What time are we talking roughly?

DF: Somewhere between 5:30 and 6. I get up every day, and I need to start my morning with that quiet time. And actually before I even get to my coffee, the very first thing I do is I start my day with fiber. And my medications that I take. I really just started myself on my health journey. I include fiber right from the beginning of my day because, as a type A personality, I like to wake up and already start checking things off my list.

SM: I understand that. It’s like, look what I've already done!

DF: Yeah, look at what I've already done, and I haven't even had a cup of coffee yet. So that makes me feel good. The quiet time before my kids get up helps me start my day mentally, and then working out is extremely important to me as part of my wellness journey. It’s become a lot of lifting weights. Like a lot of women, I thought that cardio was where it was at for so much of my life, and I would kill myself doing it, which I've never really fully enjoyed but thought that's what I needed to do, and getting my heart rate as high as I possibly could, only to not actually feel as strong or healthy in my body as I wanted to. Now that I lift weights consistently, I feel so much better. And with that comes the need to make sure we're eating enough protein. These are the things that I know really help ground me and make me feel like my best self.

SM: And has that changed during your cancer journey?

DF: Yeah, everything I just mentioned about my wellness experience has been since I discovered I had cancer, and it's not like because I wasn't doing those things that led to me getting cancer. It was more like, OK, our health is something that we take for granted when we have it. And then all of a sudden, when you find out there's something that could potentially be really detrimental, it makes you go, hmm, maybe I need to be more intentional about all of the things I'm doing, and not just throw caution to the wind and assume I'm healthy forever.

My doctor was actually the one who recommended fiber to me because as I got older I noticed that everything about the way I was going through life just felt like it got slower. My digestion got slower. So I started talking to my doctor about, like, what can I do about this feeling? I'm not regular, I feel weighed down, and my doctor said, “Are you taking any fiber?” That's when I really learned about the power of psyllium fiber. Once I added that into my day, it's been a game changer.

SM: What has surprised you the most about parenting? Or what’s been, so far, the most shocking thing you didn’t expect?

DF: The most shocking thing that I don't think anybody can prepare you for when you have kids is the amount of self-parenting you have to do while raising them. Your flaws come to the surface so fast when you see them emulating you, and you go, Well, where did you get that? And then you're like, Oh. Right. I think it's from me. So adjusting the way I talk to myself, adjusting the way I carry myself.

My oldest son has very much internalized my perfectionism, which has been very difficult for me, because it's painful to watch someone be so hard on themselves when it's just unnecessary. On the one hand, it's painful because I want to stop him from having that mindset and from being so hard on himself. And on the other hand, it's really beautiful because it's forced me to be nicer to myself. I am much easier to make a mistake and think, if I react to this mistake... he's going to think that's an appropriate response to what just happened. And, Danielle, it's not. It's OK. So he, in a lot of ways, is helping me be kinder to myself because I want him to emulate that and not emulate being hard on himself.

SM: Switching gears a little bit, you grew up on camera in a show about growing up. How has that shaped how you've parented, if at all?

DF: I think the thing it has shaped is knowing that the bite-sized 22-minute lessons we get on TV, while absolutely beneficial — and there are things I look at Alan and Amy Matthews and I think, Man, if I could strive to be like them in this way, I would want to do that — life isn't always wrapped up with a pretty bow at the end of 22 minutes.

I try to remind myself that hardships or issues you have in either your marriage or as a parent or with your children, they're all normal. No one goes through life completely unscathed, and even if our social media feeds make it look like everyone's got it all figured out and all got it together, my neighbors are both probably dealing with exactly the same things or, if not the same thing, something very similar in their own lives to what I'm going through, and it's all part of the process.

SM: Speaking of growing up, we both grew up during toxic body culture. What was that like navigating that as someone in the public eye?

DF: I'm so thankful that we didn't have social media, because even though I was in the public eye, I didn't necessarily have to deal with what people were saying about me, because there was no real way for me to know what people were saying about me. But I still had to deal with the general imagery of what was being held up as the epitome of beauty standards. Back in the day, it was like heroin chic, just absolute waifs, all those words floating around. And I was never that body type, you know? It's always difficult when whatever society decides is the beauty standard du jour, and you don't fit it. You definitely feel like you are on the outside.

With that said, I think it's almost impossible to go through your teenage years not feeling like an outsider about something. So, although the body image stuff was very difficult in the '90s, I wasn't the only one who went through that either. You could just be in high school and not on TV and not feel like you were fitting what society was calling beautiful. I think I'm just one of any other girl from that generation who didn't fit that stereotype and we all felt the same way.

SM: I will personally say that I have boobs, and I remember seeing you on TV, and I was like, she looks like me. And I was very happy that I saw someone who looked a little bit like me. Although you had fabulous eyes and fabulous hair, but it made me feel better. So thank you for that.

DF: I appreciate that because yes, that was something I remember as a teen feeling like, like, how come shirts don't fit me the same way? How come when you can wear a button-down shirt, and all the buttons lay nicely? And when I put on a button-up shirt, I either have to wear a huge oversized button-up or one where it's pulling everywhere.

SM: Have you talked to your kids about that at all? Or are they too young?

DF: They are still pretty young, but we have definitely talked about the idea that we don't comment on people's bodies. I do think that's important for them to understand because I don't want there to be certain words that are necessarily worse than others. And I don't want them to feel like they can't describe somebody or themselves in whichever way they want to. But commenting on something that, for the most part, is out of people's control, and thinking about bodies in any other way other than they are all different, and they are all fine, they're all acceptable, they're all beautiful. They're all something to think of what our bodies are capable of doing. And so, that's kind of been my thing, is like, we don't talk about other people's bodies. We just don't.

SM: Have your kids watched Boy Meets World or Girl Meets World yet?

DF: My oldest son wanted to see an episode of Boy Meets World a few years ago; I think he was maybe 3 or 4 at the time. So I played Season 1, Episode 4, which was my first episode on the show, and I'm thinking, Oh my gosh, this is such a big moment. He's gonna love this! And I come on screen and I go, “That's mommy!” And he looks at me, and he looks at the TV, and he's watching for a few minutes, and I'm looking at him going, Oh my gosh, this is so special. And he looks over at me, he goes, “OK, I'm bored, let’s watch something else.” And I went, “OK, you’re not ready for this yet. No problem.” So I'm gonna wait. I think maybe 9 or 10 is kind of the perfect time to start the show in Season 1, and then my goal will be to binge-watch it the whole way through.

SM: Switching gears, who are you rooting for on Dancing with the Stars?

DF: I mean, first of all, I'm completely blown away by the season already. There is no way around it for me: I am 100% all in on Pasha [Pashkov] and Amber [Glenn]. I am so excited for Pasha to have a partner like her who has such incredible athleticism. I'm so excited for them and I'm really rooting for them. With that said, I'm also really rooting for Tatyana Ali. How could I not? She's a friend of mine. We go all the way back to the ‘90s. I'm also very excited about Julia Stiles. There are so many good people to root for. I am absolutely about women power! I am, like, all in on all of the women.

SM: Do you sit and watch them dance or do you have to move around?

DF: I sit and watch it, but then every time, through the results, I stand up and I pace. There is no way you can have lived through standing up there as part of one of those bottom three, just even seeing the red lights, I just got chills thinking about it. It is not a good feeling. I know how hard everyone is working. And so even if you can say, well, being that someone had to go home this week, yes, that was the “right” person to go home. You still know how devastating it is. So that's the only part I can't relax through.

SM: OK, so tell me what you have coming up next. I know you have a book coming out and so much good stuff happening.

DF: Yeah, so we have a book coming out that we're really excited about, Book Meets World. I also have “Dugout Dads,” which I did with Patrick Renna from The Sandlot. We did a YouTube show and all nine episodes are available now. They're short-form, but they're still horizontal. And we're taking that out to pitch. We're using it as a great proof of concept, and we're taking it to networks, and we're taking it to streamers, and we hope to get full 22-minute episodes out of that. No matter what, there will be a whole season.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

My mother would have you know our lineage the minute you meet her. I am the eldest daughter of the eldest daughter of the eldest daughter, going eight times back. She is proud of it, this freakish line of vaginas slotting neatly into one another back into time and space, like Russian dolls. I always doubted her assertion that this was true, until an Ancestry.com test allowed me to access the family tree portion of the app, and I counted one, two, three, four… all the way back to eight. What could this all mean? A curse? A superpower?

The eldest daughter trope is known far and wide, mostly only to firstborn daughters. We are parentified young, destined to become the second mother. We learn to anticipate needs, predict moods; we are the latchkey to the latchkey kids. I am a people pleaser, and sure, I like to be right. Firstborn girls have a light toxicity to them. These traits make eldest daughters desperate to branch out, and I was no different. I got married young, had kids young. How much of this was by choice, how much by training?

As the eldest daughter, my boundaries are frequently trampled over, yet I am the queen of respecting boundaries. My younger brother is someone who never hides his emotions; you will know his feelings the second they emerge. I love that about him. I envy it. I am someone who holds them in, cheeks full with unspoken words I can’t seem to swallow, until the inevitable happens and I vomit them out all over you. I live at the polar caps — silently accepting or sobbing uncontrollably, depending on where in the digestion process I am.

Firstborn daughter: Is this where I am in the birth order of my family, or is this also womanhood? We are conditioned by society, our parents, and our peers to take what they give us, to hide the ugly, accentuate the good traits. Boys will be boys, we are told. He hurt you because he likes you, we are told. Beauty is pain, we are told. Perhaps the superpowers I was concerned with inheriting have nothing to do with being one in a long line of eldest daughters, but rather, a product of feminine expectation.

I don’t know much about many of my ancestors (though my debut novel explores the possibilities of ancestral hand-me-downs), but I know my grandmother, Nanny Goat, was a typical mother hen as an older sister. My mother was the same, a woman not good at clearly outlining her feelings because they hadn’t been prioritized as a child. Thanks to research and books on epigenetic trauma like Bernice McFadden’s Firstborn Girls or Dr. Joy DeGruy’s Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome, we know that the experiences of a future mother are felt, ripples across a pond, throughout generations.

Am I carrying the weight of my foremothers? Can I put it down?

My own firstborn daughter is a sweet, doe-eyed 8-year-old named Luka. Although she is growing up in a vastly different household to mine — she has doting parents who love each other, a house and a yard and a quiet community-led town to grow up in — I have noticed some eldest daughter tendencies.

She comes by these honestly; I have never made a point to give her more responsibility than appropriate, but somehow… I find her trying to feed her sister breakfast so we can sleep in. If I am unwell, she insists on being given a job to do, to help. These could be viewed as just the characteristics of a sweet, loving kid, which she is, but I worry.

I worry that the curse of the eldest daughter has found her, pure and innocent, and sought to parentify her. That is her destiny. That is who she will be, whether she (or I) like it or not. I encourage her to be selfish, to think of her own needs first. To not worry about what she looks like to others, what other people may say about her actions.

What if we invert the notion of feminine expectation? Flip the patriarchy completely, leaving capitalism’s desire for a ladder, dog-eat-dog, one-ring-to-rule-them-all behind? As we discover more about the men at the top’s penchant for corporate (and literal) cannibalism (allegedly), it is alluring.

Despite copious propaganda about the race of the sperm to the egg, it is actually the egg that chooses. It isn’t a passive victim. It is selecting, carefully. We know that DNA is favored by the maternal line. Mitochondrial DNA is passed down only from the maternal DNA, not the paternal. From NPR’s Allison Aubrey: the X chromosome contains far more genes, so that even male humans have more genes from their maternal line. The maternal line, therefore, is the one evolution is desperate to preserve.

No accident then, that my matriarchal lineage forges on. Eldest daughters, yes, but certainly not a curse.

After reading the viral Threads by author and influencer Gabrielle Blair on how patriarchy isn’t an evolutionarily sound format for society, I wondered if the repetition of eldest daughters wasn’t some meek-making trad wife factory but rather evolution's way of putting us forward as leaders. My mother is not a traditional woman. An artist and an intellectual, she has never been one to be told shit by anyone, which is another eldest daughter trait. My grandmother was quiet and Catholic, a mother of four, but she didn’t suffer fools; she was often the smartest person in the room, even if it went unnoticed.

Each seed of my ancestors that came before me brought me closer to Luka, the purest of us all. My darling Luka. An empath for sure. I asked her what she hopes for the future. She told me, “A planet where money isn’t important, where everyone has a house and food and the things they need.” I reiterated, “But Luka, what about you?” And she, with the wisdom and innocence we only ever have at 8, said, “That is about me, Mama.”

Not to place too much importance on my absolutely, positively perfect child, but isn’t that what this is about?

We need an eldest daughter. We need a matriarch-centric society. If my own family has taught me anything, it is that a lineage of eldest daughters carries the possibility of alternative futures. Our DNA is demanding it. We need empathy and leadership, and a society with the ability to see the bigger picture, to predict our needs in 10, 15, a hundred years’ time. Because the planet is changing and, hopefully, so are we.

Eirinie Carson is an award-winning Black British writer and college dropout living in California. She writes about sexual taboos, death and dying, illegal substances, hauntings both real and imagined, and ancestral inheritance in a world desperate to sever the connections between what came before and what is to come. Her first work of fiction, the maternal gothic novel Bloodfire, Baby (2026), has been named one of the year’s best debuts by Debutiful.

The world feels more divided than perhaps it ever has, but I think we can all still agree on one simple truth: It feels really freaking good when someone plays with your hair. The best part of the haircut is that scalp massage at the bowl. Your partner idly combing their fingers through your hair while you watch a movie — hnnnnng. So maybe it comes as no surprise that your scalp can actually be considered an erogenous zone, according to sex experts. So, if you know your partner loves a good head rub, here’s how you can work that into your intimate arsenal.

According to the International Society for Sexual Medicine, an erogenous zone is “any part of the body that elicits sexual arousal when touched.” Of course, most of us immediately think of the usual erogenous zones, but anywhere that a gentle graze, scratch, kiss, or bite gets your engine revving also counts. Because the scalp is so densely populated with nerve endings (like those other body parts your mind first jumped to), yes, a scalp massage can easily become quite the turn-on.

For the record, this doesn’t mean every scalp scratch has to be sexual; it’s just a new area of the body with untapped potential. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, it’s nice to be reminded of these low-lift but fresh new ways to turn each other on.

“A typical scalp massage is usually associated with relaxation, while a sensual massage is slower and more deliberate. You’re paying attention not just to what you’re doing, but also to how your partner is responding to it. And sensual doesn’t necessarily mean sexual. Sometimes we forget there’s a whole world of touch between ‘friendly’ and ‘let’s have sex,’” says Angie Rowntree, ABS, board-certified sexologist and founder and filmmaker behind the award-winning ethical adult film site Sssh.com.

The Benefits Of Sensual Scalp Massage

Well there’s the obvious: They feel fantastic. Scalp massages can be a form of foreplay, or a way to show your partner some love.

“There’s something very intimate about having someone play with your hair or massage your scalp. It’s nurturing, it’s pleasurable, and it asks absolutely nothing of you except to enjoy it. I think that may be part of why people are so drawn to it. We’re constantly stimulated, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we’re connected,” Rowntree says. “We’re on our phones, answering emails, scrolling, watching TV while scrolling some more, and then someone gives you 10 minutes of their complete attention? That feels different.”

A lil’ head rub can also be a great way to add more touch that doesn’t lead to sex into your relationship. Making space for intimacy outside the bedroom fuels your connection.

“I think people are becoming much more comfortable with the idea that pleasure doesn’t always have to be about sex or orgasm. Sometimes pleasure is having someone run their fingers through your hair while you lie there and do absolutely nothing,” she adds.

How To Give A Grade-A Scalp Massage

Here’s how to give one of those hair salon-quality, groan-inducing scalp massages, according to Rowntree:

• Keep movements slow. “Use the pads of your fingers and start around the hairline or temples, making slow circles and gradually moving across the scalp. Run your fingers through their hair, trace around the ears. Don’t forget the base of the skull and the back of the neck.”
• Change things up. “A little more pressure, then lighter touch. Massage for a while and then simply let your hands rest there for a few seconds before starting again. Build anticipation.”
• Pay attention to your partner’s reactions. If they lean into your hand, their shoulders relax, their breathing changes, or you get that little ‘mmm,’ you’ve probably found a spot they like. Stay there.
• Ask your partner what they like throughout. More or less pressure? Fingernails or fingertips? Slow circles or more combing of the hair? “Checking in does matter,” she says.

Finally, offer scalp massages (or request them) outside of trying to initiate sex. “When people don’t feel as though there’s an expectation attached to the touch, they’re often able to relax and enjoy all the sensations. And, of course, sometimes relaxing into it leads somewhere else,” says Rowntree.

As a little kid, I remember whining to my mother that I was bored and asking her to play. Her answer was always simple: “I don’t play, but if you want to snuggle and read or do a craft, we can.” Recently, I asked my mom about this, and she laughed. “Playing Barbies was like torture to me.”

I never took her boundary as a lack of love or attention, especially because she was always willing to engage in her own form of play, which included crafting, baking, snuggling, and reading. I knew if I wanted someone to play with, I had to ask a sibling, figure out how to entertain myself, or talk my dad into playing a thrilling round of our family game, “Monster.” (Don’t ask.)

While I love my mom’s firm boundary, lately I’ve been feeling guilty when my youngest, who is 3, asks me to play with him. His older siblings are at school, and I work a lot during the day, so giving him my full focus to do what he wants — whether that is playing catch, building a marble run, or constructing a Magna-Tiles fort — feels like an important way to connect.

So I turned to some experts to answer the question: Do we really need to play with our kids? If so, for how long and how often?

Yes, play matters... but that doesn’t mean you need to play hours of Barbies or Hot Wheels

The answer is nuanced.

Play is essential to a child’s development. They learn to communicate, problem-solve, emotionally regulate, and develop creativity, says Dr. Sasha Hall, a senior educational and child psychologist.

When a parent joins in, kids can benefit from the communication practice and the experience of having their parent’s full attention. But that doesn’t mean a parent needs to get on their creaky knees and push cars around the living room.

Instead, Hall recommends making sure you’re noticing your child. Are you responsive to their needs? Do you offer them your attention? Are you interested and emotionally available? Secure parent-child relationships, she says, happen when a parent is the magnificent three: responsive, predictable, and safe.

This rings true of my experience. Because my mom was good at offering me attention, I could get over the fact that she wasn’t interested in taking Barbie and Ken to the ball.

But sometimes, entering their world matters

I recently read this book called Ambitious Mother: From Surviving to Thriving in Your Career and At Home by Dr. Anne Welsh, a clinical psychologist and mom of four, who recommends spending around 15 minutes a day doing a child-led activity with your kid. The idea is loosely based on Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT), an evidence-based treatment that teaches parents to set aside a small chunk of focused time with their kids.

But what happens when you have multiple kids? Or your days are wickedly busy? How are you supposed to squeeze that in on top of all your other plethora of responsibilities?

Because I didn’t want to turn this into another guilt trip on my motherly conscience, I reached out to Welsh to ask how she manages this with four kids as a busy working mom. She explained that she doesn’t always do it one-on-one, but might engage with two kids at a time. If one of her children is struggling, this kind of connection time is the first thing she returns to.

Don’t beat yourself up trying to eke out 15 minutes a day if you don’t have it. In formal PCIT, parents actually practice just five minutes a day of child-directed “special time,” while other parenting approaches use anywhere from five to 15 minutes. The point isn’t the number, Welsh says. It’s creating a pocket of time when you’re completely present.

“I would much rather parents practice clear unavailability followed by real presence than spend the whole day offering half-attention while feeling guilty that they should be doing more,” Welsh says.

I’ll admit, that stings. Because I’m good at half-heartedly engaging with my kids when my mind is elsewhere, or worse, I’ll try to hide the fact that I’m sending an email. The awful thing is that my kids know it and call me out on it: “Mom, you’re not listening to me!”

So, what’s a parent to do?

Connection can happen through simple tasks

Hall and Welsh also agree that it’s less about what you’re playing and more about making time to connect, distraction-free, with your kids. And this doesn’t have to involve “play.” Cooking and baking, gardening, taking a walk, chatting in the car, swimming, and even doing chores together are all good ways to bond.

“Sometimes we overcomplicate connection,” Hall says. “A child does not need to think, ‘My parent played with me every day’ to feel loved. They need to experience repeatedly, ‘My parent knows me, notices me, responds to me, and I matter to them.’”

Welsh says this is a big part of her parenting too. She frames it as the chance to spend distraction-free time entering her children’s world with them. “One of the biggest things a child is getting is the experience of mattering,” Welsh says. This signals to them: “Your ideas are interesting to me. Your preferences matter. You have something worth showing me. I delight in knowing you.”

Your kids actually need to play without you, too

Making kids play by themselves is good for them, too. Independent play gives children opportunities to entertain themselves, solve problems, and stay with an activity without an adult constantly providing the ideas, says Hall.

If you do join in, she says it’s important to let kids remain the leader. “Young children still need supervision appropriate to their age and circumstances, and they need to know that an adult is available. But being available is not the same as being involved in everything.” (Aka, we aren’t their playtime directors.)

Sometimes we confuse good parenting with good entertaining

We are inundated with parenting advice these days, with an exhausting list of things we believe we need to do to be “good parents.” But we don’t need to be full-time entertainers, and children need to experience boredom and learn how to entertain themselves.

There’s being present and being entertaining, says Hall, and that distinction matters.

So, let us build our Frank Lloyd Wright-inspired Magna-Tiles houses or take our Barbies to the grand ball. Or not. Because it’s less about whether we play, or for how long, and more about making time for connection.

Personally, I believe the fact that slow cookers exist is proof God is a woman. With the right combination of ingredients, you can truly just throw food inside of it, turn it on, and come back hours later to a ready-made dinner. It’s the closest thing to a personal chef most of us will ever be able to afford, a real-life magic cauldron right there in our kitchen cabinets. To use them to their fullest potential, here are some easy and delicious dump-and-go Crockpot recipes — no browning or searing meat first, and no stirring halfway through.

Slow Cooker Potsticker Soup

Frozen potstickers and packaged coleslaw make Fit Slow Cooker Queen’s potsticker soup incredibly easy to dump and go. It has all the appeal of takeout, but without the hefty delivery fee and sodium spike afterward.

Sweet Hawaiian Crock-Pot Chicken

So many Crock-Pot recipes require you to sear or brown the protein before adding it to the slow cooker, which does not qualify as dump-and-go anymore. Princess Pinky Girl’s Hawaiian chicken recipe excludes that step (hallelujah), but adds plenty of flavor via a sticky, sweet sauce.

Easy Barbecue Chicken Sandwiches

Shredded chicken is one of the easiest things to make in the slow cooker, and one of the most versatile. Here, All The Healthy Things’ recipe breaks down how to make pulled barbecue chicken and the best way to dress it up for restaurant-style sammies.

Slow Cooker Thai Green Curry Chicken

I love curry but am always afraid if I try and make it at home, I’ll just be disappointed by the outcome. But maybe Family Fresh Meals’ slow-cooker version is worth a shot. That coconut curry sauce just sounds so good...

Crock-Pot Spinach Artichoke Chicken

Spinach artichoke dip is the best, so why not morph it into an entree? Fit Slow Cooker Queen’s spinach artichoke chicken and pasta looks like the most delicious way to get some greens into your meal, TBH.

Slow Cooker Enchilada Orzo

If you’re trying to make more meatless meals these days, consider trying this enchilada orzo from Damn Delicious. It’s creamy, flavorful, and filling, and would be so good topped with avocado or salsa verde.

Slow Cooker Tuscan Chicken

Chicken and spinach in a creamy Parmesan and sun-dried tomato sauce? Yeah, that’ll do quite nicely. This recipe from Averie Cooks makes this delicious chicken dish so easy to pull off. Serve it with pasta and call it a night.

Slow Cooker Meatball Subs

Simply LaKita’s recipe genuinely could not be easier. As long as you can open a bag of frozen meatballs and a jar of marinara sauce, you’ve got this in the bag. Let the meatballs simmer on low all day and toast your sub rolls when it’s serving time.

Slow Cooker Tofu Butter Chicken

Jessica in the Kitchen’s recipes are fantastic if you’re vegan or interested in cooking vegan dishes for the first time. This butter chicken-inspired tofu is so simple and easy, while still being absolutely loaded with flavor.

Slow Cooker Jambalaya

Spicy, smoky jambalaya with fluffy perfect rice? Budget Bytes’ slow cooker jambalaya recipe explains precisely how to make it all in one Crock-Pot, so you won’t have a heap of dirty dishes to wash at the end of the night.

Crack Chicken Chili

When nothing else sounds good for dinner, Princess Pinky Girl’s crack chicken chili will. It’s creamy, cheesy, ranch-y, bacon-y... all the flavors that never get old, honestly. It’s a dump-and-go, set-it-and-forget-it meal you’ll likely return to again and again.

Well, I think I have to try crack chicken chili this week...

Sometimes it’s the weirdest beauty product or wardrobe hack that will make you feel like your hottest self. It may not be something you’ve tried before, but that purple toothpaste may actually undo years of coffee stains on your teeth, and that strange-looking foam roller? It’ll leave your muscles feeling like you’re 10 years younger. Keep scrolling, the hacks gathered up here will have you feeling younger, hotter, and, most importantly, more confident.

A Collagen & Retinol Gua Sha Cream For Firming Skin

ANUA Collagen Retinol Refining Gua Sha Cream

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This refining gua sha cream has a pretty genius design. The formula itself includes collagen, peptides, and retinol for a natural glow. The cream itself is packaged in a compact squeeze tube with a metal applicator for contouring and sculpting your face. For best results, follow the instructions closely, which includes avoiding vitamin C and exfoliants when applying it during morning.

Repair Patches That Protect & Nourish Your Nails

Onyx Professional Hard as Hoof Nail Repair Patches (20 Count)

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With more than 80,000 reveiws and counting, these nail repair patches are exactly what your self-care routine has been missing. Each strip is infused with vitamin E, retinol, and silk protein which will ultimately prevent nail breakage, while stimulating collagen production over time. “I have very thin brittle nails that break off very easily, since using this product I’ve seen a massive difference in my nails that I never thought id ever see,” wrote one shopper. “They’re much stronger, to the point that I can grow my nails out nice and evenly.”

This Wireless Jelly Bra That’s Both Supportive & Comfortable

LetsJoli Supportive Jelly Bra

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Both supportive and comfortable for hours of wear, this wireless jelly bra is bound to become your new go-to for everyday wear. It’s made from a soft, highly-technical contouring material that is breathable and allows you to move freely. The adjustable shoulder straps are completely convertible, which means you can wear it with tops and dresses with a crisscross back, if you so choose.

• Available sizes: Small — 3X-Large
• Available colors: 15+

A Finger Massaging Tool For Tense Muscles

Gaiam Finger Massager

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This finger massager is a great way to increase blood circulation in your hands after a long day at work. The dual-ended rolling tool has an ergonomic shape that allows for an an easy, secure grip while you relieve stiffness and pain. Plus, it comes complete with an exercise guide, as well as how-to videos so you can get the most out of this purchase.

This Hair Texturizing Spray For Added Volume & Thickness

Boldify Hair Thickening Spray

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Designed for those that have fine and thinning hair, this texturizing spray is designed to deliver thicker and bouncier hair in just 60 seconds. The lightweight formula is made with amaranth seed extract that’s rich in peptides for added hydration, as well as sea salt, to give your hair volume and definition. Best of all, it won’t leave your hair feeling crunchy.

A Multi-Peptide Face Serum To Boost Skin Elasticity

The Ordinary Multi-Peptide + Hyaluronic Acid, Anti-Aging Peptide Serum for Crow’s Feet

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If you’re in the market for a new skin-care product that targets wrinkles while hydrating your skin, this multi-peptide serum is an absolute must. It’s made with a cocktail of ingredients that supports elasticity, increases firmness, and moisturizes skin. “I have sensitive skin and pretty significant rosacea, but it does not irritate my skin at all,” wrote one buyer in their review. “It’s nice under makeup and does not cause my foundation to pill.”

UV Detection Stickers That Let You Know When To Reapply

SpotMyUV UV Detection Sunscreen Stickers (16 Count)

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If you’re someone who consciously prevents sun damage, these UV detection stickers are an absolute must. These small adhesive dots have SPF-sensing technology that lets you know when it’s time to reapply sunscreen when you’re at the beach or on a hike. Just place one on your skin before you put on sunscreen and when it turns purple, it’s time to put on another layer to protect you from harmful rays.

A Red Light Therapy Mask For Enhancing Your Skin-Care Routine

Lifepro Vizacure Red Light Therapy Mask

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If you’re looking to take your skin-care routine to the next level, this red light therapy mask is a great place to start. It has a cordless, see-through design with three different modes and offers a gentle treatment for your face that supports the health for all types of skin. Wear the weightless design for just 15 to 20 minutes, three to four times a week.

Body Lotion Tablets That Are Perfect For Traveling

Jergens Cherry Almond Body Lotion Bursts (38 Count)

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These body lotion bursts are a great way to keep your skin moisturized while you travel, instead of bringing the whole bottle along with you in your suitcase. Each pack comes with 38, squishy heart- or star-shaped pods that are easy to rub in and offer up 24-hour hydration. Choose between two subtle scents on offer — lavender and cherry almond.

A Repairing Hand Mask That’s Fragrance Free

Aveeno Repairing CICA Hand Mask

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Combat dry and cracked hands with these repairing mask gloves that can be slipped on for added moisture. The fragrance-free formula itself is infused with a cocktail of nourishing ingredients such as shea butter and triple oats that work together to moisturize skin for up to 72 hours. It also can help soothe itchiness and irritation, while remaining soft and gentle.

Lobe Support Patches For Heavy Statement Earrings

Lobe Wonder Ear Lobe Support Patches (60-Pack)

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If you’re someone who loves wearing heavy earrings but is worried about your piercing holes tearing or ripping, these lobe support patches are an absolute must. Discreet and lightweight, they’re made in a clear, sticker-style design with a gentle adhesive that won’t irritate your skin after hours of wear. All you have to do is place them on the back of your lobe and feed the post-back fastening through the opening for added reinforcement.

Travel-Sized Sunscreen Packets For UV Protection On The Go

KONEUK Individually-Wrapped Travel=Sized Sunscreen Packets (30 Count)

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These individually-wrapped sunscreen packets are perfect for travel. Its SPF-50 formula is lightweight, nongreasy, and applies with a hydrating clear texture that feels smooth while offering hours of sun protection. “It also doesn’t leave a white cast, so it works well for everyday use on both face and body,” a customer shared in their review.

Collagen-Infused Chin Masks For A More Sculpted Appearance

MAREE Collagen Chin Mask (5-Pack)

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Great for lifting and smoothing wrinkles, this collagen-infused 24-karat gold chin masks are a great addition to any self-care routine. They’re each made in a strategic V-shape and are infused with retinol, hyaluronic acid for hydration and to enhance skin elasticity. The best part is they’re individually wrapped, which means you can take them with you when you travel.

Scrunched Leggings For A Butt-Lifting Effect

Heathyoga Scrunch Butt Lifting Leggings with Pockets for Women Tummy Control Compression Leggings No Front Seam Yoga Pants Black

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Achieve a natural-looking butt-lifting effect with these scrunch-detailed leggings. Perfect for your next sweat session, they’re made from a highly technical compression fabric with no front seam for maximum comfort. The side pockets for your smaller essentials (think phone, cardholder, and keys) are just an added bonus.

• Available sizes: X-Small — XX-Large
• Available colors: 10+

Self-Steaming Masks For Tired & Strained Eyes

BeHoomi Steam Eye Mask (10-Pack)

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These self-heating steam eye masks are such an easy way to relieve strained and tired eyes after a long day of work. Each box comes with 10 individually-wrapped compresses in a relaxing lavender scent. Just unwrap each mask and watch them warm up instantly, lasting anywhere from 30 to 40 minutes.

Retinol Body Lotion For Skin Renewal

Naturium Skin-Renewing Retinol Body Lotion with Allantoin

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Made with retinol and allantoin, this skin-renewing body lotion is formulated to improve the look and texture of your skin, while hydrating in the process. The shea butter base is rich in fatty acids to prevent dryness and dullness. It’s best used in the evening before bed. However, if you use it in the morning, be sure to pair with your favorite sunscreen for protection against harsh UV rays.

Whitening Toothpaste That Removes Deep Stains

Crest 3D White Brilliance Toothpaste

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Make your smile shine a little brighter with the help of this stain-removing whitening toothpaste. The formula itself is made with fluoride for remineralizing enamel to strengthening teeth over time. Available in a two pack, this product is a fast and easy way to get rid of deep stains caused by daily coffee or tea drinking, as well as wine and dark foods.

Daily Hair Serum Tablets For Frizzy, Damaged Strands

Hair Serum for Frizzy and Damaged Hair - Restorative Hair Oil Vitamins in Capsules - Hair Treatment for Women - Hair Treatment Oils for Damaged & Bleached Hair -30 Hair Oil Capsules by Remilia

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These hair serum capsules are an easy way to repair damaged and bleached strands without splurging on expensive treatments. Application is super easy, all you have to do is twist the top to open the tablet and squeezing the serum into your hands before gently massaging the hydrating product into your hair, starting from the ends to mid-shaft. The result? A weightless shine with lasting frizz control.

Stretching Cards For Increasing Flexibility

PhysioSpace Stretching Exercise Cards

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Thanks to these stretching cards, you don’t have to worry about feeling stuck stretching while you’re at the gym. Each box comes with 100 different exercises that help you with flexibility and mobility, all recommended by a physical therapist — complete with illustrations as well as video tutorials. “The pictures are very helpful for ensuring I’m doing the stretches correctly, and the QR code linking to a 1-minute video is a fantastic feature,” one buyer wrote.

Diamond Hair Spray For A High-Shine Finish

Garnier Fructis Diamond Sleek Hair Shine Spray

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This heat protectant spray really does it all. Aside from preventing heat damage that might come from styling tools, it also combats frizzy strands for up to 100 hours. Plus, the nourishing and lightweight formula will leave your hair with a high-shine finish that will make you look like you just walked out of the salon.

Skin-Firming Body Oil That Is Silky & Moisturizing

GODA Silk Body Oil

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Lightweight and hydrating, this silky body oil is a great way to keep you moisturized post-shower. The formula itself is made with shea butter and vitamin E and is designed to support skin elasticity and improve the overall firmness. It has a subtle lavender and vanilla scent, filled with notes of cacao, that smells incredible on.

Moisturizing Socks For Repairing Dry & Cracked Heels While You Sleep

ZenToes Moisturizing Sleep Socks (2 Pairs)

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Get baby smooth and soft feet by slipping a pair of these moisturizing sleep socks around your heels overnight. The mess-free toeless design has a gel-lined interior that’s infused with vitamin E, olive oil, and jojoba oil, for intense hydration. “After just a few nights of wearing these socks, I noticed a significant improvement in the texture and smoothness of my skin,” wrote one buyer. “My feet feel much softer and more comfortable, which is a relief after long days on my feet.”

A Mulberry Silk Pillowcase For Healthier Hair & Skin

ZIMASILK 100% Mulberry Silk Pillowcase

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This smoothing satin pillowcase is exactly what may be missing from your beauty routine. Made from 100% mulberry silk, it has a soft, lustrous surface that’s gentle on both the skin and hair, combatting acne, frizz, split ends, and bed head in general. The fact that it’s hypoallergenic is just the cherry on top.

This Massage Roller For Relieving Tired Feet

BESKAR Foot Massage Roller

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If you’re someone who is on their feet all day, this foot massage roller is an absolute must. The dumbbell-shape has an ergonomic design with a textured surface that helps relieve pain from plantar fasciitis and other foot ailments. “Simply place it under your foot and roll it back and forth to target sore areas,” wrote one customer review.

A Spring Water Facial Mist That’s So Calming & Soothing

Avène Thermal Spring Water, Soothing Calming Facial Mist

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Sometimes your face needs a little refresh, which is where this calming spring water mist comes in handy. Not only does it soothe the skin, it also helps restore your skin’s balance, while reducing sensitivities. Just hold the bottle upright before spraying your face and waiting two to three minutes before patting it dry to absorb excess moisture.

This Deep Conditioning Hair Mask That Hydrates

Hydrating Hair Mask - Deep Conditioning Treatment for Dry, Frizzy & Damaged Hair - Keratin Mask with Coconut & Argan Oils, Collagen & Wheat Protein - Smooths, Softens & Controls Frizz, Curl-Safe, 10oz

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Bring damaged and dry hair back to life with these hydrating hair mask that will leave each strand soft, while controlling frizz in the process. It’s made with ingredients such as coconut and argan oils, and keratin and wheat protein to promote stronger and healthier strands. “[The] Conditioner itself is thick and easy to coat the whole head, but feels silky and very smooth,” one buyer wrote. “The fragrance is very subtle and fresh.”

Overnight Wrinkle Patches For Crow’s Feet

Morrow Wrinkle Patches (66 Pieces)

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Combat fine wrinkles and smile lines while your sleep with these overnight wrinkle patches. Available in a pack of 66, they’re infused with peptides, hyaluronic acid, and gluconolacctone to hydrate your skin and boost the overall elasticity for a more firm appearance. The best part is they’re suitable for sensitive skin and have ample flexibility, making them easy to apply (and remove).

A Creamy Hydrating Body Lotion With Vitamin E

Gold Bond Age Renew Crepe Corrector Body Lotion

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This age-renewing body lotion is packed with a laundry list of nourishing ingredients, such as peptides, omega fatty acids, and botanicals, all of which work together to deeply hydrate and visibly tighten your skin. “The formula has a rich, smooth texture rather than feeling like a thin or watery material, and it feels like excellent quality,” wrote one buyer.

A Water Bottle With Time Markers To Remind You To Drink Up

OLDLEY Water Bottle with Time Markers

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This time marker water bottle is a great way to stay hydrated throughout the day, without having to think about it. The 32-ounce container is made from BPA-free plastic, which means it doesn’t have toxic chemicals and won’t hold odors over time. What’s even better is, that it’s fitted with a flip-lock lid that opens and closes with just a press of a button.

This Collagen-Rich Peptide Gloss For Hydrating Lips

Paula's Choice Pro-Collagen Peptide Gloss Lip Balm

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Makeup and skin care in one compact tube, this pro-collagen peptide lip gloss is as pretty as it is nourishing and hydrating. The formula itself is nonsticky and looks so pretty on — plus its peptide-rich formula is designed to promote more luscious lips. Choose between translucent pink and deep plum shades on offer.

Cushioned Clogs For Maximum Comfort

WHITIN Cushioned Clogs

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Perfect for gardening, yard work, or simply lounging around the house, these cushioned clogs are bound to become your new favorite, off-duty shoe. It’s made in a chunky yet surprisingly lightweight mule design that’s fitted with an optional ankle strap for added stability. They come in more than a handful of different colors, including a bright shade of red.

• Available sizes: 6 — 11
• Available colors: 5+

A Hydrating Balm For Your Lips, Elbows, & Cuticles

The Ordinary Squalane + Amino Acids Hydrating Lip Balm, for Lips, Elbows, and Cuticles

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Soft supple skin is one of the more underrated ways to instantly look hotter and younger, which is why this hydrating balm from The Ordinary is worth adding to cart. Filled with squalane and amino acids for added moisture, the formula is designed to be used on many different parts of your body (not just your lips), including but not limited to your elbows and cuticles. Plus, it’s suitable for all skin types.

This Strengthening Polish That Gives Your Nails A Glow & Shine

essie Hard To Resist Nail Strengthener

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Give your nail beds a glowy refresh with this strengthening polish. The polish is formulated with a bonding technology that creates a protective barrier around your nail, leaving behind a high-shine finish in the process. All you have to do is apply two coats to clean and bare nails and let it dry — wear it for at least three days for the best results.

A Forehead Wrinkle Patch For Visibly Smoother Skin

Okela Forehead Wrinkle Patches (20-Pack)

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Introduce these forehead wrinkle patches into your skin-care routine for some extra moisture where you might need it. They come in a pack of 20, each of which is infused with ingredients like collagen to help restore the elasticity to your skin. Just place them on your forehead every night — the brand promises noticeable results in just three weeks.

This Lace-Mesh Bra That Lifts & Minimizes

HSIA Minimizer Bras for Women Full Coverage Underwire Bras Plus Size Lifting Lace Bra for Heavy Breast Black

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Made with bigger busts in mind, this lace mesh bra is equal parts aesthetically pleasing and supportive, which will have you grabbing for it again and again. It’s fitted with an underwire design that keeps you lifted and feeling secure, too. Choose between a dozen different colors on offer, including yellow and coral red.

• Available sizes: 28B — 48G
• Available colors: 15+

An Energizing Eye Balm For Reducing Puffiness & Dark Circles

TULA Skin Care Eye Balm

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This cooling energizing eye balm is a quick and easy way to make you look more awake, even when you only got a few hours. It’s infused with caffeine to tighten and firm the appearance of your skin, while the prebiotics maintain skin balance. Choose between five different colors on offer, including shimmery shades of bronze and gold.

An Invisible Cinch Clip For Quick Tailored Clothing

Tailor Ring Invisible Clothing Cinch Clips (8-Pack)

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Very few things can make you look quite as disheveled as ill-fitting clothes and these cinch clips are the perfect solution. They come in a pack of eight, invisible rings, along with 100 latex-free elastic bands that allow for a more secure fit. The different size hoops also help transform the pieces in your closet, making them feel like new.

Ultra-Padded Inserts For Your Most-Worn Shoes

Dr. Scholl's Work All-Day Superior Comfort Insoles (with) Massaging Gel, Men, 1 Pair, Trim to Fit

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Thanks to these massaging gel inserts, you can make any pair of shoes comfortable enough to be worn for hours at a time. Designed specifically for those that are on their feet all day, they are made with hard surfaces like asphalt and concrete in mind, providing extra cushioning and arch support in the process. The best part is, you can trim them according to the shoe, allowing you to find your perfect fit.

This Full-Coverage Sunscreen That Goes On Clear

Supergoop! SPF 50 Unseen Sunscreen

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If you’re looking to add a SPF to your skin-care lineup, this sunscreen is a great place to start. Not only does it offer complete coverage from harmful UV rays, it also goes on clear and smooth for a barely-there look that’s so weightless you can layer it underneath skin tints and foundation, seamlessly. “There’s no white cast, streaking, or unevenness; it really is invisible once applied,” wrote one shopper.

A Weighted Eye Mask For A Good Night’s Sleep

FACEMOON Weighted Eye Mask

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Between the pressure-free cups and sealed, blackout design, this weighted eye mask pretty much guarantees a great night’s sleep. The padded, three-dimensional silhouette has strong stitching and an adjustable strap for a secure fit. It’s especially great for traveling — think road trips and long-haul flights.

A UV-Protective Bucket Hat For Harsh Sun Rays

SHINCHIC UPF-50+ Bucket Hat

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Great for camping, hiking, as well as long walks around the park, this UV-protective bucket hat is a great way to prevent sun damage. It’s made from a lightweight canvas material with an adjustable drawstring that offers a secure fit. Choose between more than a dozen wear-with-anything colors such as khaki, navy blue, and army green.

A Red Light Therapy Massager For Sculpting Your Face

Dopsikn 7 Color Galvanic Machines - Red Light Therapy for Face and Neck, Face Massager Tool for Wrinkles, Double Chin, Vibrating Facial Massager with Thermals, White

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Sculpt your chin from the comfort of your own home with this red light therapy massaging tool. The Y-shaped silhouette fits perfectly in the space between your neck and chin and has a heat setting, gentle vibration, and seven different color LED lights with different functions. Plus, it only takes two hours to recharge completely.

This Anti-Frizz Hair Spray For Waterproof Hair

Color Wow Dream Coat Supernatural Anti-frizz Hair Spray

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Perfect for those with naturally curly and coiled hair, this anti-frizz spray will protect your hair from humidity, keep it sleek and straight. With 110,000 reviews and counting, this popular spray gives each strand a protective coating while ensuring it has a smooth, high-shine finish. The results last through three to four shampoos.

A Contouring Lymphatic Brush For Increasing Blood Circulation

LPZXH Lymphatic Contour Face Brush

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For a sculpted, more contoured appearance, incorporate this lymphatic dry brush into your skin-care routine. It has a wooden base with ultra-soft bristles and an ergonomic design that fits comfortably in the palm of your hand for a secure grip. It’s ideal for enhancing blood circulation, and diminishing morning puffiness for firmer and more radiant-looking skin.

This Permanent Hair Color Kit For Touching Up Your Roots

L'Oreal Paris Magic Root Permanent Hair Color Kit (2 Count)

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Get rid of unwanted gray roots with this permanent hair color kit that you can do from the comfort of your own home, no professional help needed. It comes complete with everything you need to get the job done, such as gloves, color gel, a precision tip and soft brush applicator, as well as a conditional developer bottle. Choose between more than a dozen different hair colors on offer, including multiple shades of brown, allowing you to find your perfect match.

An Under-Eye Brightener That Makes You Look Wide Awake

Catrice Under-Eye Brightener

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This under-eye brightening balm is chock full of hydrating and nourishing ingredients to make you look wide awake, regardless of how little sleep you actually got. Made to get rid of dark circles and puffiness, it’s made from shea butter with hyaluronic acid for added moisture. It comes in five different shades that will match a wide range of skin tones.

Lip Scrub Brushes For Easy Exfoliation

Lip Scrub Brush,Lip Scrubber Exfoliator,Double-Sided Silicone Lip Exfoliating Tool,Gentle Lip Exfoliator Scrubber Brush for Smooth,Soft,Bright,and Healthy Lips(5 PCS) (5 Colors)

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Achieve a soft, smooth, and supple pout with this five-piece set of colorful exfoliating lip scrub brushes. They’re made from flexible silicone with a textured surface that is gentle yet abrasive enough to buff away dead and dry skin. Pair this with your favorite hydrating lip balm for best results.

This Relaxing Pillow Spray For A Deep Sleep

thisworks Deep Sleep Pillow Spray

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Sleep is an essential. But if you’re someone who has difficulty falling asleep, this relaxing pillow spray can transform your bedroom into a spa-like experience. It’s scented with lavender, chamomile, and vetiver fragrance that is calming and helps promote rest. All you need is spritz two to three sprays on your bedding before you unwind for the evening.

Viral Overnight Collagen Masks For Glass Skin

medicube Overnight Jelly Gel Mask with Salmon DNA PDRN (4 Count)

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If you’re someone who keeps up with the latest beauty and skin-care trends, then you know that this overnight collagen mask has been having a moment for quite awhile. Available in a pack of four, each individually-wrapped sheet mask is infused with salmon DNA PDRN, which will give your skin a glowy, glass-like appearance. Just put one on before you fall asleep, and leave it on for at least three hours for the best results.

This Brightening & Moisturizing Shampoo For Gray Hair

L'Oreal Paris EverPure Brightening and Nourishing Shampoo for Gray Hair

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Embrace your maturing strands with this brightening shampoo for gray hair. The sulfate free and vegan formula with peptides enhances fullness, while revitalizing fragile hair in the process. In addition to the fact that it’s suitable for all shades of gray, it also has a subtle yet sophisticated scent with notes of magnolia and bergamot.

Melt-Away Melatonin Mints For A Good Night’s Sleep

Neuro Sleep & Recharge Meltaway Mints (72 Count)

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If you’re looking for something to help you sleep at night but will have you waking up feeling recharged, these melt-away mints with melatonin are worth adding to cart. Just place one tablet in your mouth 20 to 30 minutes before your scheduled bedtime for enhanced relaxation. “I love that they’re non-habit forming and don’t leave me feeling groggy the next morning,” wrote one shopper. “The flavor is light and pleasant, not overpowering, and they dissolve quickly without any chalky aftertaste.”

Easy Drawstring Jeans That Are Stylish & Comfortable

Sidefeel High-Waisted Straight-Leg Drawstring Jeans

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These drawstring jeans are chic but super comfortable. They’re made in a classic high-rise, five-pocket design with a straight-leg fit. But the best part is the adjustable drawstring waist that make them feel a little more relaxed. Choose between more than a dozen different washes on offer, including a bold shade of smoke green that’s sure to stand out in your denim collection.

• Available sizes: 2 — 18
• Available colors: 15+

This Brightening Serum That Gets Rid Of Dark Spots

Topicals Faded Brightening & Clearing Serum

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If you’re someone who struggles with dark spots and other acne-related blemishes, this brightening serum is definitely worth adding to your shopping cart. The kojic acid and niacinamide in the formula hydrate and minimize discoloration and scarring from acne. “I have a lot of post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation, this stuff is working,” one buyer gushed. “I’m already on my second bottle.”

An Ice Roller Set for De-Puffing Your Face & Eyes

Leeshine Ice Roller Set for Face and Eyes

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This ice roller set will get rid of inflammation and puffiness within seconds. Just place this facial tool in the freezer a few hours to chill then pull it out. Roll slowly over your cheeks, neck, and forehead to reduce inflammation, promote lymphatic drainage, and de-puff your skin. It can also be used as a way to alleviate fatigue while also soothing muscles and headaches, too.

A Smoothing Camisole That Will Make You Look More Put Together

SHAPERMINT Scoop Neck Smoothing Cami

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Doubling as shapewear, this smoothing camisole is perfect for layering. It’s made from a lightweight yet highly-technical stretchy fabric that will go undetected when paired under tight-fitting tops and dresses. Use the adjustable shoulder straps to find your desired fit.

• Available sizes: Small — 4X-Large
• Available colors: 10+

Cozy Cloud Mules That Make Standing On Your Feet Way Comfier

Project Cloud Memory Foam 100% Genuine Leather Platform Mule Clogs

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These cozy platform mules are like walking on a cloud. They’re made with supple, genuine suede and plush memory foam that’s so comfortable you’ll never want to take them off. The adjustable heel straps at the back add to their versatility.

• Available sizes: 5.5 — 11
• Available colors: 5+

An Ergonomic Cooling Pillow For Better Sleep At Night

Cozyplayer Cooling Neck Pillow

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This neck pillow will ensure you get ample rest, night after night. It’s made from a plush, cloud-like surface in an ergonomic shape that supports your head while keeping your spine in alignment, which means you won’t wake up with any stiffness or pain. The design is especially great for side and stomach sleepers who have trouble getting comfortable.

A Stretching Strap For Increasing Flexibility

Trideer Stretching Strap for Physical Therapy, Non-Elastic Yoga Strap with 10 Loops, Durable Nylon Stretch Bands for Exercise, Pilates, Gymnastics, Leg Stretcher with Guidance

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Regularly stretching can make you feel so much younger, and these nonelastic stretching straps are a great place to start. Designed with 10 loops, the strap comes complete with a guide book that’s filled with band-related exercises that can be used for pilates, yoga, gymnastics, and more. It’s also a great companion for those that are in physical therapy, post injury.

Under-Eye Masks That Are Super Hydrating

grace & stella Award Winning Under Eye Mask Reduce Dark Circles, Puffy Eyes, Undereye Bags, Wrinkles, Gel Under Eye Patches, Nurse Gifts, Vegan Cruelty-Free Self Care (6 Pairs, Blue)

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These under-eye masks have a hydro-gel texture that’s infused with ingredients like niacinamide and hyaluronic acid for maximum hydration. “I see an immediate difference the second I take them off, [my] eyes are brighter, less puffy and dark circles are diminished (really can you ask for anything more),” wrote one happy customer in their review. This is a set of six and you can throw them in your travel bag or purse for on-the-go use.

A 3-In-1 Makeup Primer For Color-Correcting Dark Spots

Xiuxixu 3-In-1 Color-Correcting Primer

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Whether you’re someone who likes wearing a full face of foundation or simply uses concealer to cover up blemishes, this three-in-one color-correcting primer will work hard in your makeup routine. Not only does it work has a good base, it’s also deeply hydrating with SPF 50 for sun protection. Apply a thin layer to your skin for a natural radiance before adding any makeup you’d like.

Some weeks, these confessions are truly a random grab bag. There will be little wins and relationship woes, the struggles of modern parenting and dealing with in-laws. And this week, true to form, there’s a lot of that. But it wouldn’t be right to ignore the one thing that keeps resurfacing in the latest confessions: fear.

So many moms wrote in about the Cornell 7. Some moms have been triggered, revealing their own traumatic pasts. A lot of moms can’t get over the complicity of the other boys in the group text, expressing very valid concerns about what that says about the ways we’re raising our sons... and what it means for our daughters.

So, yes, there’s a lot of fear in this batch. And anger (anger is definitely an appropriate response) over being told, again, that this is just how things are. How the world works.

But this is still Confessions, and women contain multitudes. On top of struggling under the heaviness of the headlines, moms are also annoyed over their husband’s man-cold and celebrating a health milestone and just wishing someone, anyone, other than them would decide what’s for dinner one damn time. And, as always, none of that makes you “too much” or dramatic. It means you’re paying attention and, hey, you came to exactly the right place to pour it all out.

So, here’s this week’s haul, shared anonymously by moms who needed to vent.

Scary Mommy Confessions are a tried-and-true part of what makes our site so fun. If you want to anonymously confess, look for our weekly callouts on Instagram. And to browse past Confessions, take a look here.

It happens all the time: A woman walks into her annual gynecology exam with a list of concerns, from irregular periods to itchy ears, and leaves disappointed when there’s no time to address them all. That’s because perimenopause and its myriad potential symptoms are a massive transition for all the systems in your body — meaning it deserves its own appointment, rather than trying to get all your questions answered between your Pap smear and breast exam.

Scary Mommy spoke with two perimenopause experts about when you should make an appointment just to talk perimenopause with your OB-GYN, and how to best prepare to get the most from your time with them.

When should you see your doctor about perimenopause?

Perimenopause isn’t a disease; it’s a normal part of life, says Dr. Alyssa Dweck, a board-certified OB-GYN, Menopause Society-certified practitioner, and chief Medical Officer at Bonafide Health. If you just want to check in about where you might be in your perimeno journey or ask a few questions, your annual appointment is a fine time to do so.

“But if symptoms are interfering with quality of life, work, or relationships, or just general day-to-day discomfort or anxiety, they should certainly be brought up separately at a more directed visit,” she says. “It should be addressed, but with a more detailed visit set separately and dedicated so that the appropriate amount of time can be given to that subject.”

If you do start by bringing up your perimenopause concerns during your annual, be realistic in your expectations. You may or may not leave with solutions that day.

“The annual exam is a very specifically designed visit where we focus on prevention of cervical cancer, breast cancer, and colon cancer. I have these things that I have to cover at an annual. Women oftentimes come in with this list of 12 things and leave very frustrated and really demoralized that they're not heard,” says Dr. Christy Guepet, board-certified OB-GYN and female pelvic medicine reconstructive surgeon, Menopause Society-certified practitioner, and member of the This Is Menopause advisory committee.

Instead, use that time to gauge if your usual provider seems well-equipped to manage perimenopause and whether you want to schedule that next, more dedicated appointment with them or someone else.

“Just start the conversation and figure out: Do you have the right team around you to help you at this stage of your life? The team that you would've created for yourself 10 years ago might not serve your needs at this stage in life. You really are looking for someone to help you navigate your decisions and choices at this stage in life. If the answer is that this is not this provider's niche or passion, then that's still good information because it allows you to start moving to another decision where you find that navigator.”

How To Prepare For Your Perimenopause Appointment

We all know doctors’ time is short and perimenopause is a huge topic to tackle. How can you get all of your questions answered and your problems on their way to being solved? Doing your homework goes a very long way, Guepet says.

Jot down the dates of your last few periods, at least.

“Something that wastes a lot of time during a visit, at least in my experience, is fiddling through a calendar to figure out when your last period was, and then the one before that, and how many days it lasted. Keeping some sort of a tracker or calendar of your menstrual cycles or lack thereof can be very, very helpful to hone in on where somebody is in the journey of perimenopause and menopause,” says Dweck. “I can't tell you how many times it's taken 10 minutes, 10 precious minutes, for someone to figure out their last period. And that's just a waste because that can be figured out beforehand.”

Bring a list of your symptoms, including the top three that affect your life most.

Sit down and truly think about which symptoms have the biggest impact on your quality of life. This helps your doctor know where to start in getting you relief.

“Women who come in for new consults here are oftentimes kind of stunned into silence when I say, ‘I want you to give me your top three symptoms that brought you through the door today.’ And I'm telling you, it happens at least once a week where a woman is stunned and sometimes she'll brim with tears because she's never been asked that question or sat down with a pencil and paper to ask herself that question.”

This Is Menopause is a free community of women and menopause experts with resources that can help you understand what issues you’re experiencing may be perimenopause-related. You could start with their interactive symptom tracker, which points out that sleep issues, panic attacks, and more can be linked back to perimeno.

Print out your medical history on actual paper to bring with you.

You don’t want to spend your precious face time logging into four different health portals to find the dates of your last mammogram and Pap smear, which a menopause specialist is going to ask for. And God forbid the Wi-Fi is down.

“As archaic as paper is, if you have that on paper, that can now be captured into a chart in a meaningful way. I encourage women to bring paper with their mammogram report, with their Pap smear report, if they've had some significant past medical history or surgeries to the cervix or biopsies of the breast. The more information that we can have from the outset, the quicker we can set a plan into action,” says Guepet. “I oftentimes have to work on that action plan after I meet someone where we start doing that homework after the fact, and that's fine. But it delays a working plan.”

Depending on your concerns, log your related behaviors.

Need your doctor’s help to manage uncomfortable bloating? A food journal is the best way for your doctor to try and identify potential foods or times of meals triggering the issue, Dweck says. If you’re getting up to pee multiple times a night, jot down your drinking habits and bathroom visits throughout the day.

“A voiding journal can be very helpful so we can identify things like is there too much caffeine? Are you hydrating at the wrong time? Is there something going on medically that we need to address?” Dweck explains.

Don’t hesitate to ask your questions.

No topics are off limits, and they’ve heard all the sex questions you could possibly have before, Dweck says. There are also so many possible concerns to address that your doctor can’t possibly bring up every single one to check if it’s affecting you.

“Don't be embarrassed or ashamed to ask your questions or relay your concerns, whether they're sexual in nature or having to do with urinating or whatever else might be sort of considered taboo in the usual realm, because most of the time your doctor's heard it before. If they're ill-equipped to manage it, they should be able to refer you to somebody who can. Not all doctors are going to bring up those sort of less comfortable topics to talk about, so we really do rely on people to bring up what's bothersome.”

What To Expect At Your Perimenopause Appointment

We’re so used to annual exams, climbing onto a table and sticking our feet in the stirrups. What will a perimenopause appointment even entail? It will vary from doctor to doctor, but a physical exam can sometimes be part of the to-do list, depending on your concerns or the last time you saw an OB-GYN, Dweck says, who adds that pelvic ultrasounds are also pretty common.

You can also expect a lot of bloodwork to be ordered, though not necessarily for hormone levels like you might think. “Hormone testing, particularly during perimenopause, is really just a window in time and may not reflect what's going on every day or as an overall trend. But [there will be] plenty of blood work because some of the symptoms that women will complain of can overlap with symptoms of things like thyroid disease, anemia, heart disease, or high blood pressure. So we really want to get to the root of these symptom problems,” she adds.

Your doctor will also talk to you a lot about lifestyle modifications, Dweck says. “No matter whether someone chooses high-dose hormones or other medications or herbal supplements or to do nothing at all for their symptoms, diet, exercise, sleep optimization, stress reduction — these are all things that can be so helpful.”

Finally, expect this appointment to be one in a series, not a one-and-done magic bullet for perimenopause, Guepet says. Check in with yourself once or twice a week about the changes you’ve made — like starting magnesium to help with sleep or beginning hormone replacement therapy — and ask yourself if they’re helping, and how. These notes can be incredibly helpful at follow-up appointments so your doctor can assess what’s working well and what isn’t.

“The older we get, the longer it can take to see differences. So expect from the outset, this is going to take time and it's going to be a two steps forward and a step back process. Even a step backwards is still meaningful information,” Guepet says. “There's never been a better time in history to be a perimenopausal woman. We can now talk about things that generations before us found taboo. So we can focus on what didn't work or we can say, you know what? That's meaningful too, and I'm going to just stay empowered and informed and committed to prioritizing myself.”